The Daffodil Principle

"What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others in this world was and is immortal.

The Daffodil Principle.....

Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come to see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead . "I will come next Tuesday", I promised a little reluctantly on her third call.

Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and reluctantly I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn's house I was welcomed by the joyful sounds of happy children. I delightedly hugged and greeted my grandchildren.

"Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in these clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see badly enough to drive another inch!"

My daughter smiled calmly and said, "We drive in this all the time, Mother."

"Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears, and then I'm heading for home!" I assured her.

"I was hoping you'd take me over to the garage to pick up my car."

"How far will we have to drive?"

"Oh...just a few blocks," Carolyn said. "But I'll drive. I'm used to this."

After several minutes, I had to ask, "Where are we going? This isn't the way to the garage!"

"We're going to my garage the long way," Carolyn smiled, "by way of the daffodils."

"Carolyn," I said sternly, "please turn around."

"It's all right, Mother, I promise. You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."

After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church, I saw a hand lettered sign with an arrow that read, " Daffodil Garden ."

We got out of the car, each took a child's hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path. Then, as we turned a corner, I looked up and gasped.

Before me lay the most glorious sight. It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain peak and its surrounding slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, and saffron and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted in large groups so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers.

"Who did this?" I asked Carolyn.

"Just one woman," Carolyn answered. "She lives on the property. That's her home." Carolyn pointed to a well kept A-frame house, small and modestly sitting in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house. On the patio, we saw a poster. "Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking" was the headline.

The first answer was a simple one. "50,000 bulbs," it read.

The second answer was, "One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and one brain."

The third answer was, "Began in 1958."

For me, that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun, one bulb at a time, to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountaintop.

Planting one bulb at a time, year after year, this unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived . One day at a time, she had created something of extraordinary magnificence, beauty, and inspiration. The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration.

That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time--often just one baby-step at time--and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world.

"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Carolyn. "What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five or forty years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years? Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way. "Start tomorrow," she said.

She was right. It's so pointless to think of t he lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson of celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, "How can I put this to use today?"

Use the Daffodil Principle.

Stop waiting...
Until your car or home is paid off;
Until you get a new car or home;
Until your kids leave the house;
Until you go back to school;
Until you finish school;
Until you clean the house;
Until you organize the garage;
Until you clean off your desk;
Until you lose 10 lbs;
Until you gain 10 lbs;
Until you get married;
Until you get a divorce;
Until you have kids;
Until the kids go to school;
Until you retire;
Until summer;
Until spring;
Until winter;
Until fall;
Until you die...

There is no better time than right now to be happy.
Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
So work like you don't need money
Love like you've never been hurt, and
Dance like no one's watching .

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Saturday

Here I am, sitting in a pile of unboxed Christmas crap, thinking about Psy-K and what comes next in several regards. I have to prepare for tomorrow's burning bowl and goal setting service. Tomorrow, I must clean up and prepare for the arrival of a few friends to hang out for Amateur night.

The last party in the Warwickshire house.

I've already organized things at the new place in my mind, what to paint, what colors in some cases, drapes, blinds, all sorts of things. My cars in the garage, the plants on the patio and a bunch MORE plants for the patio. How to pack and move. The whole shooting match.

Now, I'm looking forward to having this house behind me. It's been a struggle from the beginning. I've had excellent results OUT of the struggle, but I'm glad it's going into the past.

It's late, I need to walk Tyson, and then put myself into bed. Big Jeremy says he's coming over in the morning and going to church with me, but should I hold my breath? I dunno.

A 7/4 year coming on my 3 life path

Tonight, I had a consultation with Cassandra, which was FABULOUS. She told me that I have a 3 life path, and that I have a 7/4 year coming on. Nose to the grind stone, organization (for me that would be organization to the extreme,) creativity expressed, lots of travel. We talked about different things in front of me, and she said that a change in environment would be the right thing. We talked about the choices in front of me, and she was most favorable about the townhouse I lived in all those years back.

I felt the same way about it to begin with.

So, I've decided to make my choice in that direction. I've already started visualizing what goes where. I'm going to put in Pella double paned windows, a higher efficiency air conditioner, new insulation in the attic, and a tankless water heater. The goal is to reduce the cost of living there to as close to just the annual taxes as possible.

And, this townhouse is something I can lock up behind me, set the alarm and leave for four days, or a week, or two weeks. No yard to maintain.

This is a property I could pay off within a couple of years.

And, sink the rest of the money I earn next year into travel, cash investments and development.

More to say about all of this later. I must to bed; leaving the house before 5:45 tomorrow morning.

Flu Stories: Bird Flu Deaths in 2006 Exceed Prior 3 Years Combined

Cross posted from Daily Kos

If you don't write about a problem, does it go away? Whether it's global warming, Afghanistan or H5N1 the answer is no. The headline is from Bloomberg:

Bird flu killed three members of a family in Egypt, pushing the number of fatalities worldwide this year to 79, more than reported in the previous three years combined...

"In the second half of 2006, there was a steep decline in the number of case reports, although similar declines occurred in 2004 and 2005, but were then followed by resurgences," the influenza team at the European Centre for Disease Surveillance and Control in Stockholm wrote in a Dec. 21 report in Eurosurveillance Weekly

Females are over-represented among H5N1 patients aged 10-29 years, possibly because it is usually young people and women who look after domestic poultry, the influenza team said.

``Human-to-human transmission, as indicated by cluster size, is still extremely inefficient, as it was a decade ago when the first human-to-human transmission took place in Hong Kong..."

The total number of infected is 261 worldwide, with the virus killing 157 as of today (a case fatality rate of 60%. In comparison, the devastating Spanish Flu of 1918 had a 2.5% CFR). So what's the big deal about a few hundred overseas cases? As John Oxford put it while reviewing Michael Greger's book on the topic:

However, the book fails to confront the question I am asked daily: "Why are you so worried about 151 deaths from H5N1?" Well, go back to 1916, to Etaples in northern France, where a form of flu causing heliotrope cyanosis (a characteristic lavender coloration of the face) with a case fatality of 60% was beginning to spread. There were 145 cases. At some point in the next two years it mutated to become more infectious and 30 times less virulent. Then it killed 50 million people. Doesn't this ring a nasty bell?

So are we doomed? Of course not. H5N1 may never become the pandemic strain (or it may), but some other influenza A inevitably will (pandemics happens about three times every century), with varying effects - just like category 5 hurricanes). The point of keeping up with the news is to remain aware, so that policy decisions that stray into the political realm become more understandable. And policy will be made.

For example, this is a previous diary on policy decisions being considered:

Okay, so it's Science Friday, but what's that got to do with politics? Well, if your local school board has to consider the ramifications of closing the schools for 8-12 weeks, shouldn't you be involved in the process? I'd think as a parent or as an employer you'd want to be.

Expect a policy announcement in January from the Feds on the topic of NPIs and community mitigation. Stay educated so you're in a position to be part of the process at the local level, where it counts. And recognoze that this isn't just an issue for specialty sites like Flu Wiki. This is an issue for all of us.

Why would folks want to close the schools? Because St. Louis did in 1918, and Philadelphia didn't. See slide from .pdf presentation by Ben Schwartz (HHS):

In fact, school closings are at the top of the pack of non-pharmaceutical interventions to discuss. So while old and tired comments about Rumsfeld and Tamiflu are still made, the discussion has moved beyond that.

Policy is coming down the pike. it will involve you and your community. The schools may be used to teach parents and kids about potential school closures and how to do modest preps and planning to function during that time frame, which could last weeks. None of that is accidental, and none of it is in a vacuum. So, the reason to stay abreast of the news is to understand that preparation needs to be done in advance of a pandemic, and not during. Like hurricane, blizzard and other disaster prep, it is insurance for that which we hope never happens, but sometimes does.

You can always learn more here. And knowledge is power, not hype.

Home again, home again

I came home to license plates! WHOO HOOO!

I de-CarMaxed Scarlett, and attached the license plates. Pasted that screwball Texas registration sticker to the windshield. The car looks a jillion times better without the advertising all over it.

And, it's still dirty. And needs floor mats. Which I'll order next week. This morning, I found a bunch of change stuck down near the driver seat track. So, I'll go mining for treasure later today.

I'm taking Christmas down tomorrow, and working a half day. I don't expect that there's much I can get done.

Christmas report

So, we went to Aunt Roxanne's for the day about 0930.. Corned beef, eggs, crescent rolls, etc. the 14 of them were all bellowing endlessly. They talk about nothing, and all chime in with repetitions and commentary. No one listens to anything anyone says, so a statement is repeated six times as each aunt catches on.

Then, we opened presents. That was fun, except that everyone continued to bellow over everyone else. My cousin JJ is the worst - she has to dominate everything.

Did I mention that these people are crazy?

Everyone sort of settled out, and we had some quiet time - say 75db or so. A friend of the family's stopped in, he's 91 and gets around well.

So, he's walking into the living room, trips on a game box (Scrabble) that someone thought would be well placed there instead of on the kitchen counter where it was.) down he goes like a Weeble. Hits his head on the corner of a heavy glass coffee table.

Thus, I'm at a local hospital ER with the 91 year old.

This seems to be my year for ER

Packed and packing

Listening to the rain, and watching "The Aviator." The new HD video cables made a huge difference in the picture quality, especially when the light has dimmed down.

Mark was in town for Christmas. He and I exchanged some emails; which advanced today to telephone calls and text messages, but his family schedule and my work schedule didn't mesh enough that we could meet up. He's going back home after next week.

Everything's all packed and ready for tomorrow. Tomorrow morning, John II is going to church with me, then taking me to the airport directly after church is over.

Three days in the family. Yowie. I'm packed up with gifts, but need wrapping paper. And gift cards.

The Merlin card is working and ready for use. The Treo is cleaned up and loaded with pictures and music. Headphones are packed; all three sets thereof. Computer games. Book to read. Journal to journal in. Bag's packing all rationalized finally.


Everything old is new again - shower door edition: after nine months here, I only yesterday got the shower door's hard water stains cleaned off. I tried everything, including some acid wash that PROMISED to clean hard water stains. Nothing made a dent.

Then, in my endless research about the Phaeton, I discovered an article that discussed the surfactant that's in car wash solution, which builds up on windshields and makes everything all smeary. They suggested using Bon Ami or Bar Keeper's Friend. I bought some for Scarlett's windshield (which was a slimy mess,) and it worked GREAT. Then, I brought it inside the house, and started using it on the stainless steel pans. AMAZING. The two quart saucepan that Joseph burned out back eight years ago cleaned RIGHT out. The stainless frying pan - clean as a whistle. I went to town on the pans. Cleaned the baking sheet, right out to the corners.

Finally, yesterday afternoon late, I used it to clean the inside of the shower door. It's clean as a WHISTLE. Holy cow!

Bar Keeper's friend. Get a case.

I need to go get the headphone attachment for the Treo out of the desk upstairs. And some AA batteries. And remember to pack the charger for the Treo and its headset.

Anyway..

a big, important piece

Many years ago, when I hadn't been driving a car for very long, my grandfather explained to me how to keep the car between the white lines on the road - how to drive confidently and smoothly: you focus down the road - the further the better. You are focusing on where you're going, and not where you are. Since you're focusing on where you're going instead of where you are, your efforts become more smooth and relaxed. You aren't making micro-corrections all of the time to adjust what may seem like obstructions and off course movements.

I took his advice, and my driving (most of the time) is quite smooth and workable. I've not had any sort of auto incident in years; since 1988.

Yesterday, John II and I were talking about drivers, and I re-told that story. Then, last night, I talked to Susan about the whole sales contract thing, and realizing that I love this house, and that there is a benefit in having the consciousness that things will work out just fine, and that this place isn't the be-all and end-all; there are other opportunities.

This morning, as I was meditating, it hit me - just as with driving a car, focusing on the apparent obstacles and miscues that are right here makes for unsmooth, unconfident choices and experience. Focusing further down the path brings more confidence, more opportunity, and more smoothness.

Implemented immediately.

Later, after hearing an expression of fantasy

John II has headed off for the night. I have Tom Time at 21:00.

Decisions, decisions.

Decision #1 today was "I don't even THINK so."

Decision #2 was "scrambled eggs, biscuits and breakfast meat."

Decision #3 was to walk to Lowe's and back for exercise (2.5 miles)

Decision #4 was to buy HD video cables for the DVD player/HD TV connection.

Decision #5 was to work on banking and book keeping. Charged up all the barter work I did for Twitch this past year; oof. I'd have been happy to have had it in cash, I think. More needs doing.

Decision #6 was that the counter offer on this house was beyond silly. It was just insane. I'm going to look at two other houses tomorrow.

Decision #7 was that John II is awesome, and I am willing to keep him around.

The Last Friday

So, a few final notes before the holidaze takes over:

1. The correct phrase is "couldn't have cared less." Think about it - if you COULD have cared less, then you cared to some extent. So, if your concern about a person or a situation has zeroed out, and you haven't a spare ion of mental focus for them - you COULD NOT CARE LESS than the amount that you do. The contraction for could not being "couldn't," please spend some of your New Year's resolve speaking your lack of concern properly.
2. Another correct phrase, but far more obscure. People express their anxiousness by saying "I waited with baited breath," as if they've set out a deer lick for the time clock. The correct phrase is "with abated breath," abated meaning interrupted. In other words, you're HOLDING YOUR BREATH waiting on the outcome. "Abated breath."
   
3. There is a riot of people who incorrectly use "me" and "I" these days, with most people saying "I" improperly. Such as "Here is a picture of the Divo and I." Uh, no. You wouldn't say "here is a picture of I." It even sounds funny. Here's how to distinguish between which you should be using: Drop out the "and However you would refer to just yourself is 99.44% of the time the way it should be done.
4. Irregardless of what you think, Irregardless contradicts what it is you want to express. When someone says "irregardless," they intend to say that they are not considering the other possibilities. When you ad "ir-" as a prefix to a word, it means not : NON-, UN- - So, when you say "irregardless," what you're REALLY saying is "Not regardless." WHen you strike out the inherent double negative, you're saying "with regard." Which is the opposite of what you have in mind.

Okay, so that's a good start.

This is just fabulous

After giving pretty much this Sunday talk last week, here I find someone who neatly summed it all up SO much more clearly:

From the Daily Kos writer Toad 734

Thu Dec 21, 2006 at 01:41:44 PM PST

With the Jew who stole Christmas controversy heavy on the minds of the weary travelers at the Seattle-Tacoma Airport and the Democrats taking control of the House and the Senate there is likely to be a renewed fear that the Liberals want kill the baby Jesus and destroy Christmas. Because killing a holiday on which the economy is dependent and getting this holiday off our work calendar is at the top of the list of every card carrying member of the ACLU. Christians, as it turns out, have typically been their own worst enemies when it comes to destroying religious holidays. They turned All Holy Eve into Halloween and Candlemas into Groundhogs Day. The point is Christmas, and most of its traditions, were never really Christian to begin with.

• toad734's diary :: ::
• 
  

Earliest examples of "Christmas" were practiced as long as 4000 years ago by Babylonians as a celebration of a 12 day New Year festival honoring the god Marduk. Also called Sacaea by the Persians, these celebrations involved holiday feasts, giving gifts, and caroling.

The Roman Pagan celebration of Saturnalia started in the middle of December and lasted until January 1st. This was a celebration of the solstice, marking the Sun's return. The exchange of gifts, decoration of homes with greenery, feasts, and the suspension of private and public business marked this celebration. Once Christianity began to spread throughout the Empire, Pagan and Christian societies began to merge and the prosecution of Christians decreased. During the reign of Constantine (a sun worshiper), Pope Julius I moved Christmas from January 6th (Epiphany) to December 25th, which was the Pagan Deus Sol Invictus, or the birthday of the unconquered Sun god. Sun god. Son of God. Not a huge leap of faith for these early Christians assuming the Latin words for "son" and "sun" sound as similar as they do in English--but really, who speaks Latin? This is where Christmas started to take on some of the traditions and meanings that we see today. Still, these events are not the only things that contribute to Christmas as we know it.

Yule or Yuletide was the Pagan winter solstice celebration which in the Julian calendar was December 25th and Gregorian calendar December 21st. The Scandinavians and Germanic tribes of Northern Europe celebrated this as the return of the sun from the long dark winter nights. Trees were decorated with candles, holly decorated doors, a Yule log was burned, and feasts were prepared along with the sacrifice of a pig, which is where we get the traditional Christmas ham. The mistletoe was used in both Norse and Druid celebrations. Obviously, as Christianity spread in this region, Scandinavian seasonal celebrations merged with the Roman's Pagan/Christian winter solstice holiday. It must also be noted that Odin, the primary figure in Norse mythology, had a hat and a big white beard had a flying 8 legged Horse instead of 8 flying reindeer. Odin at one point also had hung from a tree and had a spear wound not unlike the fate of Jesus.

One other reason that Christmas is not a Christian holiday is that Jesus was not born on December 25th, nor is there really any proof that he was born in Bethlehem in a cold manger. Every Biblical scholar knows that if Jesus was born when "shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night." that this would have to have been between the months of March and November as it would have been too cold for the shepherds to have still been there at night in the cold rainy season. Since we know Jesus was born 6 months after John the Baptist and we know he was born in late March or early April, Jesus had to have been born in late September or early October at the latest.

Christmas has really always been a celebration of winter solstice, it’s just that in our calendar it is 4 days off the mark due to the difference in the Julian and Gregorian calendars. Just as they did with the once secular pledge of allegiance and our currency, Christians stole Christmas and made it their own, adding the nativity scene and Jesus' birthday. Somehow, secular Americans are the assholes when we merely try to take the pledge, our dollar bill, or Christmas back to its original incarnation.

My Father is an Atheist, my Mom is a Christian who doesn't believe Christmas is Jesus' birthday, and I am Agnostic. We all welcome Christmas as a time for sharing and togetherness, not the birth of baby Jesus in his manger. What does a Christmas tree have to do with the birth of your savior? What does getting your kid the new Playstation have to do with Christianity? Nothing. And you know who else thought this way? The Puritans.

That’s right, about the time they started burning witches, Puritans in New England outlawed the Christmas celebration. Christmas, The Mass of Christ, was considered to be a Catholic holiday which had nothing to do with the actual birth or birth day of Christ so they therefore outlawed the Pagan traditions of decorating trees and caroling. Since they believed that the Christmas celebration and the birth of Christ was completely separate, Christmas was outlawed in Boston from 1659-1681 and the Colleges in New England didn't even start observing Christmas until about 1847. Christmas was not declared a federal holiday until 1870. Other "religious" holidays destroyed not by liberals and Barbara Boxer but by Protestants include: All Holy Eve (Oct 31st), Candlemas (Feb 2nd), Michaelmas (Sept. 29th) and Childermas (Dec 28th). For these right wing nut jobs to say that December 25th, and all that is associated with that day, is purely Christian, is ludicrous. So when they say that the secular Christ-haters are trying to destroy Christianity when we call it the holidays and not Christmas, tell them that you think it's ironic that someone who thinks that America was founded by Puritans is so intent on going against Puritan beliefs, which were anti-Christmas. You can also tell them that you find it ironic that the same people who are trying to censor the internet, cable TV, song lyrics and art are offended when someone tries to censor their 1st amendment rights.

No one wants to destroy Christmas, you are paranoid. Who doesn't want a couple of days off work every year to hang out with family and friends to eat, drink, be merry and get presents? We just realize that roughly 23% of the US is not Christian; you cannot simply bully minorities because you outnumber them. We realize that all the traditions of Christmas, except going to mass, are secular and or pagan. We realize that like the Pledge of Allegiance and US currency it has been adopted by Christianity, not the other way around.

So if some Jews in your town don't want The Night Christ was Born playing at the town hall manger, get over it. Go home and play your own Christmas music; you are free to do so. You wouldn't like it if you were forced to fast for Ramadan would you?

Sources: Holidays.net, History Channel, Wikipedia, Pantheon.org, World Wide Church of God (wcg.org) , Religioustolerance.org, All about Jesus Christ, Renewamerica

Happy Hump Day

Drove from one side of the county to the next today. Scarlett is dirty. I mean, DIRTY. She needs floor mats (I've ordered the color swatches) and the phone mount, and .... well, cleaning.

I got an EZtag for her today; and almost backed into a light pole at Dr. Rick's office. As I came into the parking lot, I could see that the light pole was right behind where I was parking. I thought that I needed to be very careful as I backed out of the space after having my head rotated. That lasted right up until the time that he rotated my head, and then I totally forgot that the light pole was behind me.

I threw her in gear, backed up without looking and ... as I finished the turn, I saw the light post RIGHT. NEXT. TO. MY. WINDOW.

Yowie. Saved by .. no one's sure.

Waiting for the sheets to finish in the washer so I can heave them into the dryer and then put them on the bed and get into them.

The lender's realtor called Susan today and said that they were going to counter. They're also going to list the house for $250M, which is a real giggle, considering that the house across the street (listed for more than a year) has been at $249,900 for 90 days with no one even LOOKING at it. One more bedroom, and 300 more square feet, and immaculate.

We'll see what develops next.

Tuesday trauma

So, the cube next to my miracle cube has been vacant this entire time. The fellow who "occupied" that cube has been working for another lender. We had told him to get his stuff out of here, and he had not complied.

Yesterday, it seems that he was going to be written up for non-performance. He quit. Now, he's here, and he's loud, snorts, blows, throws things against the cube wall, has poor bathing habits and is relentlessly on the phone with no letup.

I'm pretty quiet.

Spent time today trying to wrestle down my 2007 schedule, at least through June. Looked at the church convention, did the cost work, sent out the email about all of that. John II and his friend Big Jeremy have asked me to join them on their Eastern European Toothless Hooker Tour in late May (I'd stop when I got to Budapest, because I prefer opera, good architecture and people with teeth.) That requires more information. I still want to take the RSVP cruise on the QM2 in May. I'm trying to see whether I can combine the posh RSVP cruise with the EETHT chaperon effort.

Apparently, being a cast-iron bitch with internet access makes a huge difference. As I noted yesterday, David Taylor Cadillac called in the afternoon to advise that my car had been repaired. This morning, I went to pick it up. In the five hours that they had the car, they replaced the water pump and related gaskets to correct the low coolant sensor reading, and they replaced the steering middle shaft to fix the binding in the front driveline.

Well, how about them apples? They get an A+, two thumbs WAAY up, and a big gold star!

Monday, Monday ver. 833.01

Took Scarlett into David Taylor this morning - I guess my bitchfest last week must have done something, because they had the car fixed in five hours. Gadzooks.

FINALLY got the desktop computer moved down into the kitchen. The wireless network card (for the desktop) works GREAT. I am going to start moving documents off of it and onto the lappy, and stripping it down to just be a financial software computer.

I'll have to get a LCD monitor for it; the Gigante 21" monitor that I was using is off to one side and makes my neck hurt when I sit there for any period of time working on it.

Chased Tom around; never wrestled him to the ground. Did a bunch of estimates. Did laundry. Called Verizon about adding service with them; have to go to the store and talk to them. Answered some client emails and phone calls. Revised my will, living will, guardianship and medical POA forms. Moved the phone and the MFC downstairs from the office; mounting the phone on the wall, I was able to plug the MFC (fax/printer/copier/scanner) into an old DSL wallplate that I still had, which gives me a side telephone jack (two jacks, one neat mounting.) The old AT&T 964 phone (which is STILL fabulous) hangs on the wall jack, and the fax cable plugs in right behind it, neat as you please. Yanked up both owner's manuals online, and spent about an hour programming each device so that the fax only picks up on a fax call, and the phone works as an answering device. That felt righteous; I can still receive faxes without being here, and the phone is now a HOME TELEPHONE! That's right, a home phone with an answering device. Not that anyone has the number, but it is listed.

Felt half full most of the day.

Have to run over to pick up Scarlett first thing in the morning, then have three client meetings tomorrow, plus have to do another client's accounting work (that stuff is at the office, or I would have done it today.) That will leave me with JUST ONE client's accounting work to finish, which I would have also done today had I had their file password.

Hung out with Secret Agent Man for an hour today. He expressed dismay that I had bought a Pontiac - he said he saw me as a Cadillac man. Specifically, an STS-V. Well, how about that? A nice choice, but not until they're about two years old. But, it could be financially beneficial to drive this car for two years, then sell it while it still has the service contract and upgrade to the STS-V.

I laundered the sheets today, and didn't get them on the bed yet. I need to fluff the featherbed, which requires taking off the mattress pad, and .. that seemed like too much effort in the moment.

This means that it's required NOW, at 22:15. Bleh. Off to make up the bed with the red sheets, shams and duvet. Then, to get into it.

Sunday evening with the HD

So, after weeks of thinking, researching, planning, investigating and calling, I've decided to re-up my contract with Spring PCS. I was going to go with Verizon, and share minutes with the OnStar hands-free calling in the car, BUT .. I'd have to buy a new phone, and Verizon is WAY more expensive than is Sprint.

So, I'm signing up on my existing price plan for two years, swapping out the second voice line for a data card, and I'm going to add this and this and this to Scarlett. Which will give me hands-free calling with what I have now, all for less than the price of a new phone. And, navigation.

Except that, tonight, on the way to Memorial Park to meet up with Guy for a walk, I tried the hands-free phone built into the car to call my sister. It was AWESOME. Now, I have to go see whether I can get a mini-Verizon plan or something.

Scarlett goes back to David Taylor in the morning to finish her open repair ticket. I expect she's going to be there until at least Wednesday. Today, she started surging at stop lights when idling against the brake. I think she has a sensor issue or two.

At the Walgreen's today, some guy stopped me in the parking lot as I was backing out and yelled "Nice car!"

It's been a LOOOONG time since that's happened to me.

Fifteen shopping days until 2007

What a day! Yes, that some sarcasm to start off the day.

I'm scheduled to go into town for a haircut, but I'm not feeling it. I need to clean the house, move some computer equipment around, clean the car, and work on a client's book keeping. I have to finish working on my sermon for tomorrow. And scoop the poo up in the yard.

I thought we were going to have a sunny day today; it seems not to be the case.

Do you know what would have happened if there had been Three Wise Women instead of Three Wise Men?

They would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, brought practical gifts and there would be Peace On Earth.

BUT READ ON . . . . .

Cute, but do you know what would have happened if there had been Three Gay Wise Men?

They would have done a fabulous parade towards the big "B" in full auburn/gold sequined gowns to match the low "Star of Bethlehem" lighting, arrived early, helped deliver the baby AND dressed it up in a gorgeous buttercream-colored 100% cotton throw, cleaned the stable AND redecorated it in a "western" theme to match the animals.

The Three Gay Wise Men would not have made a casserole but a flawless entree of chilean sea bass
dusted in cocoa powder with guatemalan mangoes in a light chutney mix, mashed potatoes with a light cream fennel sauce and anjou pears with yogurt cream cheese and Grand Marnier swirls, topped off with a caff/half caff cappuccino con panna.

The practical gifts would have included items from the new Martha Stewart Living collection.

Peace? How can you have peace when the entire night just screams for a drag number?

I'm making dinner for the troika. Divo-ghetti, which I've only properly prepared once since moving into this house - mostly because there was no stove until October.

Holy schmoly! After dinner, John moved his enormous HD TV downstairs, and we're watching "Superman Returns" on it. WOW. It's amazing.

Of course, my perfectly balanced Dolby surround system makes it that much better.

How fun is this?

Phriday the Phiphteenth

So, yet another broker came by today to do an inspection/price report. She was also very nice.

This morning, I had a hearing lined up, and man, was I stressed out about it. Nothing happened (it was canceled) but I was still feeling the strain. Had a nice breakfast/lunch with my lawyer friend, and talked about eBay and old times. Did some work, felt like CRAP, came home to meet the said real estate broker, and now it's pretty much time to race out the door to Clear Lake (again) for the church Christmas party.

And I still love this house.

And I love my car.

There was a Lionel Smithsonian Dreyfuss Hudson on eBay that I decided I didn't need to dust after all. That clearance sale is getting bigger and bigger.

John II is off trying to get something handled with his old car. I need to get MY old car registered and underway. And not leaking transmission fluid in the driveway with a ten degree list.

I'm about half ready to put away Christmas stuff. I'm just not feeling it this year, I guess.

Barney's getting older and more feeble. I think I see how he fell into the pool; he's unsteady on his feet, but he still likes to walk around the perimeter of the pool.

I dunno what to do about him.

This weekend, so much to do and so little time to do it in.

About time to start heading south/southeast.

Hump Day with cocktails

Watching a movie about the Argentine factory workers who expropriated their factories when IMF and government policies put them all out of work. It's a CBC production; it's very nicely done.

Things went very well today with the realtor. The house is as clean as it's been since before Mitch lived here. Still a huge list of things that I'd change and do when it's mine, but .. for now, it's a big improvement.

I'm thinking that some big changes are required in my life. I'm going to start making them.

I just love

I just love hearing from Secret Agent Man. He just is so much possibility, it's overwhelming.

My little note to David Taylor Cadillac/Buick/Pontiac/GMC/Hummer

I'm curious to know something.

Today, I brought my 2005 Bonneville GXP to the dealership for warranty
service. My complaints were faulty sunroof seal, repair rear armrest
cupholder, low coolant warning when coolant isn't low and a binding
noise/feeling in the front transaxle.

Your service department was unable to evaluate the car for the coolant
warning or the transaxle, and the cupholder part had to be ordered.

Therefore, the only service work done on the car was to adjust my
sunroof.

Why, then, was it necessary or appropriate for your service technicians
or staff to adjust and re-set my seat, mirror and climate control memory
settings? I could understand them changing the settings (well,
actually, no I can't, but it's endemic to the process of taking one's
car in for service) but, to RESET the memory?

Further, why, when only adjusting the sunroof, was it necessary to
adjust the dash lighting to full brightness instead of leaving it where
it was set when I dropped the car off?

Is this what I should expect when trading with David Taylor? I have to
spend time sitting in the service drive re-setting all of my memory
settings to that which was comfortable for me?

This is the most insane experience I've ever had at a GM dealer. I've
been ignored, told nothing was wrong with my car, left without a car for
a week while no work was done on it, given back a car that had body
damage, had trim broken, been lied to and treated like my business had
no value by the service staff, the dealer management and Pontiac Motor
Division, but .. was someone planning on taking my car home to drive around?

I learned this morning that your dealership doesn't receive messages
through this web service. Yesterday, I set up an appointment, including
listing the complaints I wished to have addressed under warrant through
this site only to find that .. David Taylor doesn't actually RECEIVE
these communications. So, I'll do you all the courtesy of copying this
message out, and faxing it to you in the morning.

Monday, Monday ..

Advance New Year's Resolution posting:

1. From this day forward, anyone who sends me an email that contains some dire warning of future disaster or misfortune in the event I don't immediately forward on the email to within minutes shall have ALL of their suspicious emails deleted without being read or considered. Period. Even if the email is telling me of winning lottery numbers, my winning the Nobel Peace Prize, or their impending death. Sorry, but that's the way it's going to be.
2. From this day forward, if I take my automobile in for service to any dealer, garage, car wash or other establishment and the people providing service take it upon themselves to adjust the mirrors, seats, radio or climate control settings, I will immediately take myself back to the service person and invite them to restore the original settings forthwith. Should they not know the settings, they can guess. And, I'll leave my car there blocking their service drive until they fix it.
3. From this day forward, I will refrain from answering personal telephone calls of any character during business hours. Mixed relationship callers who wish to engage in personal calls will be told that the call must be rescheduled for a non-work time.
4. From this day forward, I will not be logged into instant messenger services during work hours.
5. From this day forward, I will refrain from answering any business related inquiries by instant message. Those attempting to engage in business communications by instant message will be invited to submit their inquiry by email or telephone.
6. From this day forward, I will refrain from answering business questions of any character after business hours. Mixed relationship callers who wish to engage in business calls during non-business hours will be told that the call must be rescheduled for a business time.
7. From this day forward, I will refrain from responding to personal email during business hours.
8. By the end of this year, I will have completed my application to Ministerial College.

Okay, that's enough for now.

Sunday OFF!!!

From the 2003 Pontiac press kit about the 2004 Bonneville GXP (which is what Scarlett is, save that she's an '05):

"Perhaps the best way to define the Bonneville is to describe a typical buyer. (My opinion, not GM's.) "Mid-level male exec in his late 30's or early 40's; lives in the burbs; spends hours on expressways; fascinated by technology and wants his car to be loaded with electronics; has a sentimental yearning for old-fashioned Detroit values; likes to drive hard." If that's you, you'll love this car."

Yowsa. That smarts.

After my slag job on the el crapo show at the Great Caruso .. the place burns out to the foundation. How 'bout them apples?

I spent hours today researching the murder of Judy Saragusa. More will be revealed, but tonight when I was telling the story of her murder and such, I had a little intution that she's going to come visit me again soon. Maybe tonight, even.

Was reflecting this evening on a huge pattern that goes all the way back to being five years old, and how it shows up in housing, career, money, cars, relationships ... it's everywhere. More reflection and meditation is required.

It's about time to put the phone in the charging cradle and hit the sack. John II is gone for the night with his friend Chad from Michigan; he'll be back after lunch tomorrow, I guess. Bram and I have been yakking for hours, and now it's time to see if the pool has enough water in it, and visit the land of dream clues, visiting ghosts of murdered women and other fun stuff.

Saturday after Friday after Thursday after Wednesday after Foreclosure Day

Cloudy and overcast. Tyson's in the backyard having a great time running around. John II and his friend from high school are hanging out in the living room, and they're a hoot. Not the kind of hoot that I would want to join into, but a hoot to listen to.

Went with Bram to his company Christmas party last night. It was held at the Great Caruso, and they put on their "Christmas" show, which was just slightly south of dreadful. I don't want to impugne their musical skills, but the Salvation Army band's intermission performance was far superior, musically, to that of the ensemble. Their performance seemed less than enthusiastic, and two of them had noticeable pitch issues. The food there, as is customary, is average, and the facility is gorgeous.

Overall, I found myself wondering why Bram was smiling and enjoying himself. Was I that jaded and judgmental? The whole thing just grated on me; worse than a junior high school pageant. We got home around 9:15 and I put in the CD for the CPH Christmas show I organized - it wasn't me, Bram was then just astonished at how bad the performance we'd just seen had been.

The mutts are racing around the backyard, curious about Tyson's presence, and wondering where he is. Barney's peed about six quarts, trying to cover over Tyson's tracks.

I set up the Christmas train that, technically speaking, my father gave me for Christmas. I love eBay. It's just great - except that there's no Christmas tree for it to run around.

Next year, I'm closely following the new rule - don't buy it until you're sure it's indespensible. As in, life cannot continue without it. And, I'm having a post-Christmas clearance sale that's going to be based on the same principle.

The train, though, is lots of fun.

I have three different parties to go to tonight, all over different parts of town. I need to clean up Scarlet (or should she be Scarlett with two "t"s?) Her wheels are dirty.

It looks like rain today.

Working the laundry angle, and the cleaning things up angle, and .. all that sort of thing. I think I'll see if the Christmas train fits in front of the dining windows, running around the little aluminum tree in front of the window.

Thoughts on waking up WAY too early

So, what is it that you can accomplish when you get up at 4:30 in the morning? You can fold the laundry, scrub the three months of tree sap and hunk off of the windshield, clean the inside of the car windows, wash the car, read all the email, the newspaper, the political blogs, watch your room mate come in from a late night sex date, get ready for work, leave for work early enough to arrive at 8:30 and start without having a back log of morning stuff to accomplish.

I love the new cube. The bright paint is fabulous, the layout is so much better, and it’s already attracting people – they come in and hang out with me again – it’s like the old days. Tomorrow morning, I’m going to bring in more stuff, more stuff, some stuff and some more stuff. Pretty soon, it’ll be just like home.

I got out ALL the rest of my announcements; tomorrow, I start working on Christmas cards and tax season announcements. People will be inundated with mail from me this season, I’m guessing.

I drove in to work this morning on the Katy Freeway. Let me repeat that, I DROVE on the Katy Freeway. I didn’t SIT on the Katy Freeway. It was quite the experience.

I also had fun today configuring my OnStar for the new automobile. More about the NAME for the new automobile in a minute. I re-set the oil monitor, figured out which version of the OnStar hardware I had, went to the website and downloaded a user’s manual, configured my most regular trip routes (to work, to New Vision, to the airport) for traffic reports, and set up my favorite ten airline stocks for stock quotes. What a HOOT. I’m loving the idea of using the OnStar for my hands-free telephone, which will require that I switch to Verizon service. My Sprink contract is up for expiration in a week or so, and I’ll have to pre-pay a year’s OnStar and sign up with Verizon for a year. I’ll drop my Sprint bill down to just a data card at that point, and see if I can keep my new Verizon account near what my current Sprint bill would be.

As Guy says, OnStar makes me horny.

I still have to add in all of my telephone numbers that I call regularly from the car into the system. If I get the Verizon service, I wouldn’t need to mount the Treo on the dashboard as I had it in the Buick. I’m also using the Treo while driving MUCH less. Like almost not at all, which is better.

Thank GOD tonight is Tom Time. I already warned him that he may need to use the jackhammer and chisel. Tomorrow, I also have a head rotation appointment with Dr. Rick.

Class tonight went great. Now, we’ve got our church board meeting going on. We’ll see how long this goes on, probably not past 8:30.

Not going to Dallas this weekend; Larry needs some recovery time, so can’t host me for recovery time. I guess it’s important that I be at home all weekend; Bram is doing training on the other end of the county this weekend; John has his friend Chad coming in from Michigan for the weekend. So, it’s either going to be pandemonium or it’s going to be solitary. I have enough accounting work to catch up on this weekend to keep me quite busy.

I’m wondering whether my feeling so crappy is a sinus thing. I’m thinking that could be the dizzy, headache, queasy, fuzzy feeling that I’ve been suffering from.

The weather bouncing up and down isn’t helping.

Bought a ticket to fly to Fort Myers for Christmas. I’ll be staying with my Aunt Liz; that will be great. She’s so much fun – by then, I’ll have my Sprint data card working, and can connect all around the country. Since I’ve dropped twenty pounds since my Dad’s birthday, that will give me a little breathing room.

After this week, I’ll have everything caught up with the old clients and will only have the mortgage work in front of me.

I’m really thinking about all the stuff I have. If I have to move, I think it’s REALLY time for a deep clearance sale – antiques, glassware that is never used, music, videos, DVDs, books.. I’ve already disposed of all of the clothing that didn’t fit (and was so old that it would look funny if I wore it.) I’m thinking of scanning in financial records as they come in and disposing of all of the paper; then storing it all on a DVD year by year. That would be a good end of year project, I guess – scan in the financial records that are left and then dispose of the paper files, which would reduce stored paper by one whole closet.

I’m liking the getting to work before everyone else again. Some of it feels sanctimonious; getting up and out before the youth in the house allows me to make them wrong for being so focused on partying and not working – Bram, of course, works about nine hundred hours a week, but I still get to revel in the feeling every morning.

It seems that this board meeting is quickly drawing to a close. Very cool.

Now, on to the naming of the new car. The ideas:

1. Bess (as in “Bess, you is my woman now.”)
2. Scarlett (as in “Frankly, Scarlett, I don’t give a damn.” Plus, the car is candy apple red)
3. Candie (it’s candy apple red, after all)
4. Bonnie (too simple – it’s a Bonneville)
5. Ruby II (harmonious with Ruby Tuesday – the alternative is Ruby Ruby)

So – vote! If you have other suggestions, make ‘em. Just click on that comment link right there (points.)

Humpy hump day

Okay, I'm going to say this for the cheap seats - I AM SICK TO FRACKING DEATH OF IRAQ DOMINATING OUR NEWS. Yes, I am. I've stopped reading even my favorite news blogs and summaries because ALL that anyone talks about is Iraq.

How about homelessness in this country? Or healthcare? Or the enormous deficits that have been racked up? Or the destruction of civil liberties?

Yes, we went in there (illegally, immorally and without any justification at all, even the MOST conservative individual has to now admit that the Iraqis had no weapons, no connection to terrorists, and definately no connection to 9/11.) So, let's just pack up what's left of our military hardware, write them a BIG check by way of apology, and if they decide to route the money into the pockets of those in power, it's no different from all the money we gave to Panama, and Iran, and Vietnam, and all of the other failed regimes that we've plunked into place trying to promote American colonialism and "our way of life."

Couldn't we have just cut the price on Starbucks, Coca-Cola and Madonna and taken over the planet THAT way? Leave the guns at home?

It's the only thing that's worked anyway.

I went to bed early, which necessitates waking up early, it seems. More wrestling with the housing issue in the 4:00 a.m. finance committee meeting. We settled that down, and worked on what it is I'd rather feel than the adreneline rush of a 5 year old wondering what comes next.

I'm sitting in the living room of this fabulous house, reflecting on what it was before I moved in - possibility only. Nothing worked. It was horribly dirty. The pool was green slime. The yard was a wreck. I've made it into something. I have such ideas for what more it could be; but, it's become something worthy in just these few months.

Foreclosure Tuesday

It happens every month in Texas - the first Tuesday of every month in every county in the state. Property which has been seized by local sheriffs for debt repayment, county tax authorities, judgment liens and, largely, all of the lenders who have declared their real estate loans in default, have tried to work with the borrowers for months to get caught up, and have finally decided to take action against the property itself to secure repayment of some portion of the debt.

Between 10 and 4 today, at the Harris County Family Law Center, a swarm of trustees and lawyers will be quietly reading the foreclosure notices, with buyers milling about, wanting to buy properties that they have seen on the public posting notices at least three weeks earlier. These buyers are looking for bargains, and in Harris County, the reputation for being able to find a cheap purchase at auction has now been replaced with a reality that the foreclosure auctions are a much better deal for the lender than for the buyer.

And, sometime today before noon, Mitchell will cease to own the house I've been living in.

Last night, I had to give this some thought. I went to bed, after achieving some sort of peace (and having to turn off the oven, because Bram went outside and stayed outside for 40 minutes rather than putting his pizza in the oven.) That got me about 20 minutes of sleep before John II's group came back in from the bar, thundering around upstairs like a stadium evacuation. With guitars. The was about the time that I awoke with some SERIOUS anxiety (remember last Wednesday?) I was processing how I was feeling, associating it with when I was five, and came home from Kindergarten and found that the moving van and my parents were gone. I was standing out in front of the house - and everyone was gone. What was I going to do now?

THAT'S how I was feeling. "What am I going to do now?" As in "I'm totally screwed, there's nothing left."

Repeating pattern. Good lord.

Looking at some other places tomorrow as a backup.

John II came and helped me move fully into my new cube. It's three times the size, has a window, has me facing people coming IN, and has much nicer colors on the walls.

Tomorrow, I have a whole lot to get done. This means early to bed tonight, so that I can leave for work early enough to get in a day's work before I have to go to Clear Lake for class and the board meeting.

I'm waffling on whether I should go to Dallas this weekend.

N8 is in town this week. He is talking about wanting to get together Thursday night. It sounds like another opportunity for him to get REALLY drunk and then accuse me of hitting on him again.

Again tonight I feel like crap. Watching this REALLY cute movie with the actor who was "Vlad" in "CAMP." He's so cute.

I'm loving the new car. LOVING the new car. LOVING. Oh my GOD.

Monday, Monday ... ver. "heck, I don't know."

Interesting day.

Drove in with the intention of being at the office by 8:00; well, you have to leave in plenty of time to make it there. However, leaving by 7:30 does provide one with a smoother traffic experience than does 8:30. It took me only 30 minutes to get to the office, even though I took the Katy.

Got to the office, set up my computer in the cube I half-occupy, then had to run to the doctor's office (doctor #1) for labwork. They actually a.) had the appointment booked correctly, b.) didn't ask me to pay again. They had a new, contract phlebotomist, who nabbed my blood sample without physical detection (how awesome was that?) and I was back at the office at 9:45.

Had a loan client at 10:15, which barely gave me enough time to drink a jug o'joe and have some oatmeal. I barely finished up with him and Chuck was ready for lunch.

I asked if we could drop off the new car at NTB to have the wheels balanced; Chuck agreed to follow me up there. Which we did. Except that Chuck's car also needed some work. So, we went across the street to Nit Noy for lunch. It took NTB two hours and twenty minutes to perform the four wheel balance/rotation that they said would take thirty minutes. Of course, when you pull the wheel off, set the tire/wheel on the ground and then make a call on your cell phone, then go talk to another employeee, then come back and make another phone call, then go pick up the unmounted wheel/tire and walk it over to the balancing machine, then make ANOTHER cell phone call, then attach the wheel/tire to the balancing machine, then make ANOTHER cell phone call, then have to re-run the machine to get the reading, then make ANOTHER cell phone call, then put a weight on the inside of the wheel, then set the machine to run and make ANOTHER cell phone call, then have to run the machine again, then make ANOTHER cell phone call, then unmount the wheel and set it on the ground, then vanish for ten minutes, then ..

I can understand why it takes so long. Of course, at $12/wheel, they're not burning up the profit center. I must say that she rides infinitely better, but this is the same shop that replaced Ruby's Dexcool II with plain radiator fluid and then looked at me with a blank stare.

Not that Ruby's radiator had huge warning stickers advising that adding plain radiator fluid would cause the planets to revolve backwards in their orbits and all life over eight pounds on earth to die or anything. Or that every GM car since 1938 has used Dexcool, as do all VW and Audi cars. And Ford cars, although they call theirs something different.

So, at 3:15, we trundled back to the office, me with my jug o' sugar free coffee creamer. We had a meeting with John about our web marketing, and I just did NOT want to be involved in the money conversation. It's not MY money, after all, and anything that I suggested wouldn't bind John, so why should I sit there making deals he can change after the fact? I've learned these things. I went to my half-cube, which isn't my cube cube because I can't get the desk moved from home nor get the cube itself re-arranged by myself, and I worked on the loan application from earlier.

Then, things got weirder. The client I was to meet for dinner went AWOL, the calls started rolling in, and I just wanted to go home and be quiet. That was clearly not happening. So, I made an arrangement to meet at the Dot Cafe at 6:00, and headed out by way of the UPS store. I'm loving this car. It's so fabulous.

Dinner at the Dot, and then I started heading home. John II had moved the Imperial out of the garage for me, and when I pulled into the driveway, I tried to program my homelink transmitter, but ran into the same problem that we had trying to program Bram's homelink. Bleh. At least it's in the garage tonight.

John II and his friend were hanging out and waiting for female companionship, and I was just wanting PEACE AND QUIET. They left quickly, though, and that was achieved for a short time.

Today's resolutions: Starting Jan 1, I'm charging a fee for practitioner counseling. And, I'm not taking counseling telephone calls during work hours.

So, now it's 10:30, and I feel like crap. I'm going to go to bed now, with the intention of spending foreclosure day at the office being productive. John II swears he's going to the office with me in the morning, and ten bucks says he doesn't get in from his outing tonight until well after the time that he'll be able to be up and functional in the morning.

Who can I find to help me move this stuff around? Maybe it will be revealed for me tomorrow.

Sunday evening lockout

Church today was great (again.) Chuck made his reappearance, and everyone was VERY happy to see him. The talk was great (yay me) and the interaction was equally outstanding.

The sun was shining, I was in a new car, it was all great.

Yep. New car. Ruby's driver seat was giving out again, the suspension needed rebuilding, and it needed brakes. She had 101,000 miles, and I had to do something about it all. I saw this car on CarMax, and Friday night decided to just go up there and check it out. I never drove Ruby again after going out onto their lot.

CarMax was great; the financing blew right through, they gave me a lot more money for Ruby than I would ever expect, and I just traded it in, and put no money into it.

The new car needs a name.

After church, lunch at Barnaby's, then home for a HUGE nap. Now, I'm baking more chicken, John and I are watching the third Matrix movie, and I'm feeling like I should .. I don't know, re-arrange the universe or something.

My dad has seemingly enrolled the aid of his sister to get me to come out to Fort Myers for Christmas. I was thinking about it this morning. The logistics aren't difficult (thank you, Continental Airlines) but, is it what I want to do?

I have to think about that.

Tomorrow is the last day Mitchell will own this house.

What happens next? That's the question.

The energy of a puppy. All the destruction, too

New driveway rules at the Castle:

1. One must always observe the men with lighted batons
2. One must drive between the yellow rotating beacons.
3. Maximum speed in the driveway - 2 mph
4. No cell phone use while operating the car in the driveway without hands free headset
5. Repeat violators will have their vehicles fitted with bumper car surround bumpers.

thoughts don't trump feelings

The more I think about it, the more I think that my "health" issue yesterday was anxiety, not blood glucose.

I've been noticing that, even though I have my thoughts reigned in, my body is still reacting to stressful input from my environment just as if I were plagued with the negative thought and worry.

It seems that our bodies react automatically BEFORE conscious thought kicks in. In the movies "What the bleep do we know?" and "Down the Rabbit Hole," it infers that our biochemical response is based on interpretation perception and that our perceptions are largely non-visual and non-verbal; I've been seeing over the last few days that the extra-perceptual response happens before the conscious thought can kick in and be altered based on new perceptions and understanding.

Yesterday, my conscious thoughts were settled and balanced, and my body was running the full on anxiety response.

Tonight, in our class, we did the module on forgiveness. Of course, having to lead the module on forgiveness, I had to focus on my own issues of forgiveness, starting with the clangorous irritants that were so present in my life. What is it in myself that I'm not happy with? What is it that I don't like and haven't forgiven in myself that has it be so upsetting?

Very interesting stuff.

Happy Hump Day dynamics

So, last night my BG was 119. I looked at the meter and wondered "what the heck happened?" Considering that it was 340 when I came home, and I'd eaten dinner (again with the zero glycemic load) and had two glasses of wine, what's the deal?

This morning, it was 157. It went UP? It's whacked. Still that's a more confidence building number than is 280, like yesterday morning. My vision is better today too - I feel less like I'm in a haze.

John II is struggling with uncertainty. He's just feeling like the world's against him. I don't really know just how to help him.

later

Okay, so that was interesting. I went to a client's office to meet him and to pick up paperwork, and he didn't answer his phone. The receiptionist wouldn't let me by, and after calling, emailing again and sitting there for 20 minutes, I went back to my office.

By the time I got back to the office, I felt terrible. I couldn't think, I was dizzy, and I was having a hard time breathing. I thought about going home and emailed John (across the office) that I was going to leave. John popped into my cubicle, and he was quite concerned at how bad I looked. He insisted that I not drive and he called John II to come to the office from the gym to pick me up and take me home.

He showed up about 15 minutes later; out of breath. He'd run every light on Smith St. on the way. We left the office, stopped at Costco to pick up my prescription refills, and came home. He's going with me to my doctor's appointment today, at which I'm going to request that they put me on Byetta.

I think it's time to stop chasing the clients who can't manage their money and focus on something that the structure of my new job will promote.

We must restrict free speech online to stop terrorists from destroying an American city

From americablog

Go to Russia or Tehran if you hate freedom this much. I have had it with Republicans who hate America, who hate our freedoms, who hate what this country stands for, and who think that the only way to save our freedoms from the terrorists is for us to destroy those freedoms first. Honestly, how do these scaredy-cat, quaking-in-their-boots, America-haters even dare call themselves patriotic Americans? They are terrified of their own shadow, these Republicans.

Interestingly, and incredibly stupidly, Gingrich made this announcement at a freedom of speech dinner in New Hampshire. That's a bit like declaring that we all need to eat more veal at a PETA rally in San Francisco.

Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich yesterday said the country will be forced to reexamine freedom of speech to meet the threat of terrorism.

Gingrich, speaking at a Manchester awards banquet, said a "different set of rules" may be needed to reduce terrorists' ability to use the Internet and free speech to recruit and get out their message.

"We need to get ahead of the curve before we actually lose a city, which I think could happen in the next decade," said Gingrich, a Republican who helped engineer the GOP's takeover of Congress in 1994.

We already lost a city, Newt. It's called New Orleans. And it was your party, the Republicans, who lost it. You were more concerned about furthering some neo-con agenda abroad than actually protecting Americans at home.

I've concluded that people who sell Phaetons are out of their minds

My reply to a VW salesman in Seattle:

I've concluded that the market for a W12 Phaeton 4-seat is without logic
or reason. I've found an 06 CPO for $79,999. Yours at sticker.
Another at $89,000. An 04 with 700 (for real) miles on it for $69,000.
And 04 CPO with 7500 for $56,000. Two are advertised as Papillon Silver
Helichrome, but are really Silver Mirror. No one knows what it is that
they really have, and those that do charge
30% more.

And my auction/market research shows that all of these prices are an
invitation for me to pay from $16,000 to $45,000 for the first year of
driving.

My decision for today is to have a big martini and think about this
further later.

I AM NOT SHOUTING

Now, I'm a wannabe Agile-muda-scrum-meister, seventh veil, third sudoku, sixth psi. I know how things are. I have literally wrecked more than two different organisations and my theoretical knowledge is going to be used to wreck yours, if you'll let me. I have done all the research I need to do, reading 5 books, and watching seven movies, including Back to the Future, a story of refactoring reality. With the tricks I have learned, I know how to behave to be the most effective. Here are my tricks.

Distortion
Everything I hear will be processed by my brain in such a way as fits in with my world view. I will tell you back something I've heard about you and you only get to confirm or deny it. I will relay your thoughts up and relay management's thoughts down in such a way as to impose my beliefs on how everything should run. This method is called the sushi method as it leaves everything redolent of fish.

Anger
Generally people like to keep peace. If I show fits of anger when faced with even minor disagreement, it will discourage debate on larger issues.

Urgency
I will speak animatedly on matters which concern me and I will confer a sense of urgency about everything. Coupled with my apparent temper, this will make people want to do things to either appease or avoid me. Either way, they're playing things my way.

Confusion
As all stories are already distorted by me, there will be some confusion anyway. However, I will try to create more confusion with huge multi-partite explanations of anything I'm trying to stop you doing your way. These explanations will be too big to understand, will involve over-use of the whiteboard, with diagrams that you don't understand, and will, ultimately leave you more confused and unafraid to ask any more questions lest the explanation goes on longer. Alternatively, you'll think you understand but this illusion will fall away once you've left the room, or once you ask for a minor point of clarification which I'll explain in a way to make you feel you understood nothing. I will secretly change everything I've told you immediately after telling you, so that even if you understood it, you'll still not be doing what I now want.

(Un)reasonableness
I will act as though I'm a calm, rational and friendly person. I will believe that I am all of these. I will even understand your point of view. However, deep down, everything has to be done my way and I will not admit that, nor make it possible for anyone ever to do that. If possible, I will bring more people into the organisation who naturally do things in a way which sounds like my way. I will create an inner circle with them in, but we'll still not have a consensus on how it's done.

Interception
By creating a barrier between the worker and the management/strategy team, I will further a sense of mistrust between groups. I will also know of everything that is going on. This will prevent me ever getting bored as there is no pie which doesn't have my finger in it. I will extend the finger/pie metaphor further by going for a poke in the fridge in the morning. The purpose of interception is to impose myself on everything and avoid there being a critical mass of things I've not had a go at threatening to knock me off my self-created pedestal.

Possessiveness - to keep control, I must ensure that I have the opportunity to do anything and everything that comes up. If I'm stuck with colleagues in the management team I will try to spread myself very thinly across all events so that I can lay a claim to any idea that is good, or any area for which ideas are needed. If possible, I will have a piece of paper, email, or a whiteboard or flipchart drawing to back up any discussion that comes up. As a fallback I will claim to have started thinking about any new areas as soon as they're mentioned. In order to increase my possession of management issues, I will angle to get any colleagues tied up with less-managerial tasks, which I will pass off as temporary help to the team they're working with.

Acidity
Acting unpleasant or angry whenever provoked will ensure that people learn to leave me alone. Another good trick to increase my harm is to virtually hold my temper in front of the people who are a threat and then have private venting sessions against those people with my cronies and upper management. This level of acidity will enable me to grow, though it may reduce the viability of others.

I AM NOT SHOUTING
Where possible, I will deny any of these practices, even while doing them. I will not allow self-awareness or respect for others to hold me back. If faced with complaints that I cannot deny, I will act contrite, but only temporarily.

Daily diary of Sisyphus

So, not only is the uncertainty of the housing situation on my shoulders, I get to bear the anxiety of Bram, John and anyone else surrounding the situation. The input runs the gamut from the subtle "Do they evict people in December?" to full-blown emotional melt downs. In the middle of it, I maintain the peace that I possibly can.

Tonight, I have to re-visit my "to-do" list and see where I am. I think I've made some progress.

Baptists who aren't anti-gay? Are they anti-Baptists?

What if Christian leaders are wrong about homosexuality? I suppose, much as a newspaper maintains its credibility by setting the record straight, church leaders would need to do the same: Correction: Despite what you might have read, heard or been taught throughout your churchgoing life, homosexuality is, in fact, determined at birth and is not to be condemned by God's followers. Based on a few recent headlines, we won't be seeing that admission anytime soon. Last week, U.S. Roman Catholic bishops took the position that homosexual attractions are "disordered" and that gays should live closeted lives of chastity. At the same time, North Carolina's Baptist State Convention was preparing to investigate churches that are too gay-friendly. Even the more liberal Presbyterian Church (USA) had been planning to put a minister on trial for conducting a marriage ceremony for two women before the charges were dismissed on a technicality. All this brings me back to the question: What if we're wrong? Religion's only real commodity, after all, is its moral authority. Lose that, and we lose our credibility. Lose credibility, and we might as well close up shop. It's happened to Christianity before, most famously when we dug in our heels over Galileo's challenge to the biblical view that the Earth, rather than the sun, was at the center of our solar system. You know the story. Galileo was persecuted for what turned out to be incontrovertibly true. For many, especially in the scientific community, Christianity never recovered. This time, Christianity is in danger of squandering its moral authority by continuing its pattern of discrimination against gays and lesbians in the face of mounting scientific evidence that sexual orientation has little or nothing to do with choice. To the contrary, whether sexual orientation arises as a result of the mother's hormones or the child's brain structure or DNA, it is almost certainly an accident of birth. The point is this: Without choice, there can be no moral culpability. Answer in Scriptures So, why are so many church leaders (not to mention Orthodox Jewish and Muslim leaders) persisting in their view that homosexuality is wrong despite a growing stream of scientific evidence that is likely to become a torrent in the coming years? The answer is found in Leviticus 18. "You shall not lie with a man as with a woman; it is an abomination." As a former "the Bible says it, I believe it, that settles it" kind of guy, I am sympathetic with any Christian who accepts the Bible at face value. But here's the catch. Leviticus is filled with laws imposing the death penalty for everything from eating catfish to sassing your parents. If you accept one as the absolute, unequivocal word of God, you must accept them all. For many of gay America's loudest critics, the results are unthinkable. First, no more football. At least not without gloves. Handling a pig skin is an abomination. Second, no more Saturday games even if you can get a new ball. Violating the Sabbath is a capital offense according to Leviticus. For the over-40 crowd, approaching the altar of God with a defect in your sight is taboo, but you'll have plenty of company because those menstruating or with disabilities are also barred. The truth is that mainstream religion has moved beyond animal sacrifice, slavery and the host of primitive rituals described in Leviticus centuries ago. Selectively hanging onto these ancient proscriptions for gays and lesbians exclusively is unfair according to anybody's standard of ethics. We lawyers call it "selective enforcement," and in civil affairs it's illegal. A better reading of Scripture starts with the book of Genesis and the grand pronouncement about the world God created and all those who dwelled in it. "And, the Lord saw that it was good." If God created us and if everything he created is good, how can a gay person be guilty of being anything more than what God created him or her to be? Turning to the New Testament, the writings of the Apostle Paul at first lend credence to the notion that homosexuality is a sin, until you consider that Paul most likely is referring to the Roman practice of pederasty, a form of pedophilia common in the ancient world. Successful older men often took boys into their homes as concubines, lovers or sexual slaves. Today, such sexual exploitation of minors is no longer tolerated. The point is that the sort of long-term, committed, same-sex relationships that are being debated today are not addressed in the New Testament. It distorts the biblical witness to apply verses written in one historical context (i.e. sexual exploitation of children) to contemporary situations between two monogamous partners of the same sex. Sexual promiscuity is condemned by the Bible whether it's between gays or straights. Sexual fidelity is not. What would Jesus do? For those who have lingering doubts, dust off your Bibles and take a few hours to reacquaint yourself with the teachings of Jesus. You won't find a single reference to homosexuality. There are teachings on money, lust, revenge, divorce, fasting and a thousand other subjects, but there is nothing on homosexuality. Strange, don't you think, if being gay were such a moral threat? On the other hand, Jesus spent a lot of time talking about how we should treat others. First, he made clear it is not our role to judge. It is God's. ("Judge not lest you be judged." Matthew 7:1) And, second, he commanded us to love other people as we love ourselves. So, I ask you. Would you want to be discriminated against? Would you want to lose your job, housing or benefits because of something over which you had no control? Better yet, would you like it if society told you that you couldn't visit your lifelong partner in the hospital or file a claim on his behalf if he were murdered? The suffering that gay and lesbian people have endured at the hands of religion is incalculable, but they can look expectantly to the future for vindication. Scientific facts, after all, are a stubborn thing. Even our religious beliefs must finally yield to them as the church in its battle with Galileo ultimately realized. But for religion, the future might be ominous. Watching the growing conflict between medical science and religion over homosexuality is like watching a train wreck from a distance. You can see it coming for miles and sense the inevitable conclusion, but you're powerless to stop it. The more church leaders dig in their heels, the worse it's likely to be. Oliver "Buzz" Thomas is a Baptist minister and author of an upcoming book, 10 Things Your Minister Wants to Tell You (But Can't Because He Needs the Job).

Sunday evening

So, I actually did it - I got the laundry room closet completely cleaned out and organized. I put ALL of the nails, screws, fasteners, clips and nonsense into the little drawer unit that I bought - put all of the tools away, threw away nearly a trash can of empty bags, containers and boxes. Now, the breakfast room is empty again. And, I have to get some work done that needs to be mailed out tomorrow morning.

I've been avoiding Twitch's calls today.

Had a dream last night about tromping through a frosty field next to a car dealer, to look at a Phaeton. It was quite vivid - I could feel the hard, uneven ground under my feet, the briskness of the air, I could see the sun coming up, the first rays of dawn coming through the trees. The car looked funky. It was what I wanted, though. Interesting stuff.

My BG has been sky high for days, and this weekend, it's been outrageous.

I came home from church today, measured around 300, then took a nap. It's been around 210 since. Bleh. I'm really working to avoid food that will kick it up, but what I really need is more exercise, less stress, less weight and different meds.

Have to pick Bram up at IAH in the morning. Then, I guess I'm working from home.

Bram's on his way to St. Louis, and John's been gone since two hanging out with friends. He's not answering his messages, so he's likely got his pants on the floor somewhere.

I'm fixing to go to bed, I think. I'm not really tired now, but the kitchen is cleaned and I don't want to start on work related projects at this point in the evening.

Just wrote a note to SAM, who's been hiding out again.

Been just worn out listening to people call and carry on about their "stuff." Not that I mind, but .. I need some SPACE. Today, when the phone was ringing, I was feeling like heaving it into the pool. I'm feeling very angry lately, I guess. I wonder what that's about. Maybe I'll work on that tomorrow.

Not that I haven't been doing good, helping people out listening to them. I have. But, aside from John's looking over my shoulder at my food consumption, I hardly feel like I'm involved in all of this - just putting out..

Blah, blah.

I'm starting to get used to the Imperial.

After church today, I was thinking. Thinking, thinking. I was talking about the difference between how one WANTS to feel and how we perceive something will make us feel. I was thinking about the Phaeton thing, and thinking about how much MORE secure I'd feel if Ruby were all trimmed up and running well, and I could drive it for another three years for FREE.

Better. Much better.

It's almost tax season, and you know? I'm just not into it.

I have a bunch of accounting/book keeping to get caught up on this week.

(sigh) I'm tired.

Okay, enough whining. I can assert that the new gas dryer is a miracle. It dries the clothes in no time flat, without overheating them. This should be saving me about $70 in electricity by itself a month.

Sunday - pre-church linkarama

This article on Daily Kos points out that the democrats were savaged by union voters in previous elections after supporting NAFTA and other programs that seem clearly anti-labor in the US.

This next one discusses the ridiculous nature of tort reform arguments. A short and good read.

This one is a discussion of how honest the administration is in its pursuit of known or suspected terrorists. Feel safe, everyone! They only care about spin, not interdiction.

And here is a partial answer to my friend Jimmy's question of yesterday - what's up with the US Dollar? Not much, it's all DOWN. Requires basic understanding of economic theory, and some ability to process and connect the dots. A new paper bank to step in just in case JPMorgan Chase and/or the Bank of New York cannot settle transactions? Okay, why doesn't that strike one as a warning that a giant economic meteor is headed toward our country?

That last just gave me a headache. I have to run to church now.

To tree or not to tree, that is the question

Black Friday… sitting in the living room, enjoying the new stereo rack, the sunlight, the peacefulness, and watching Will & Grace. In a moment, I plan to pull EVERYTHING out of the mud room closet (laundry room, for your Texicans and southerners) and then reorganize everything.

Then, have to run by Costco to pick up meds, and go visit Chuck. Then, come back here and more relaxing.

Who am I kidding? I have a grant proposal to review and grade/respond to, letters to write, more office stuff to pack up and get ready for taking to the office.

And Ruby needs to be cleaned. Deep cleaned. Dry cleaned, actually.

Went for a walk this morning – which I’m two weeks late on executing. Went around the neighborhood, and as I was walking, I noticed the SAME HOUSE just a few blocks away. It was reversed, but the same floor plan. Beautifully groomed. Painted, clean, smashing. That’s only a hint of how gorgeous this house could be.

Only ten days to go before the foreclosure on this house. Will they accept my offer before, or am I going into the high-intensity uncertainty of post-foreclosure negotiating? Mitch has pulled his headboard out of here, which was the next to last bit of his stuff that he had here. His motorcycle is now outside under a tarp, so it’s no longer annoying me.

However, I wake up every morning at 4:00 or so, and have to quiet the finance committee meeting in my head.

18:40 – same day

Home alone. Alone. ALONE! John’s off visiting some girl, and Bram’s in Illinois. I’m watching Star Trek Insurrection. I visited Chuck this afternoon at P&J’s. I left 90 minutes ago; they’ve already taken him back to TMH.

Holy shrikes, Batman.

The pool guy cleaned today, the pool looks good again. Cleaned out the under-stair closet today; pulled EVERYTHING out of the mud room closet. Pitched out a bunch of stuff, have to organize and sort the rest. Pulled the books out of the under-stair cabinet that never got unpacked, pulled out the Christmas lights.

So, the question is – do I put up outdoor Christmas lights? Do I just forget it? I have a bunch of white mini-lights for the backyard that we recovered from the attic, and my parents’ old big colored lights for the front. I guess tomorrow that I’ll pack up the Marvin the Martian stuff, and put out Christmas in the morning.

I’ll wait on the tree thing until NEXT weekend. I guess.

Tuesday before Turkey

Holy schmoly, Batman!

Where to start? What to leave out (in the interest of future reviews by people who's current shenanigans could embarass them?)

How about how fabulous my new stereo rack is? It's kind of like this, but it's nicer, and the color is perfect. Black glass tempered shelves, and nearly 5' 5" tall. I got everything placed, and then Matticia hooked everything up for me last night. It's FABULOUS. I keep looking at how glam it looks, and how much better it is than the perenially str8, crappy stand that Mitch had loaned me.

John's extra refrigerator is already serving well in the mud room, taking the overflow of Bram's exuberent food purchases. His gas dryer is saving me money on a day to day basis. YAY!

Bram leaves for the weekend tomorrow evening. John's in town all weekend. I have a list of "honey do-s" that's as long as my leg. Plus, I have a ton of accounting work, computer cabling and such to do. And, the Imperial to clean.

The garage is such a huge improvement EXCEPT for Mitch's gigantic California King sized headboard, that is always in the way.

Greg the incredible yard stud is doing the backyard tomorrow, and he's coming to weed/feed next week, as the clover is overwhelming the backyard. Matt the pool cleaner is coming tomorrow to sanitize the pool after the big winds and Barney's pool deposits from a week ago.

Tomorrow afternoon, I have to re-organize the mud room closet to take out some things that are no longer needed and to make things easier to find. And clean up the kitchen to make way for the Thanksgiving day feastifying.

Ruby needs cleaning in the WORST way.

I'm moving cubes on Monday. I have to plan my assault on the new cube tomorrow. I want to see how I can get my metal desk in there along with the existing cube furniture. I think that there's room. I know that I also want to bring up my rolly-cart file cabinet.

And hang up all of my myriad diplomae, and wall art.

Maybe a measuring tape.

By Monday, I have a bunch of documents, reports, spreadsheets, accounting and tax amendments that need to be done, cooked and ready to mail out.

A working weekend. Again.

It's nearly time for me to skedaddle, so I can jet home, take stock of what's happened since I left this morning, and make a grocery list. Maybe something good is waiting for me at the UPS store.

Chuck's almost cooked, and should be sprung loose from the medical penetentiary tomorrow.

Been thinking about the law of attraction, the law of cause and affect, and things that have always felt they didn't work for me. Hm. Pondering, pondering.

Okay, off to plan my next moves.