source article
Air Force Chief of Staff Named in FBI Contract Probe
May 18, 2006 5:17 PM
Brian Ross and Len Tepper Report:
The Air Force's highest-ranking officer, General T. Michael Moseley, and his predecessor, Gen. John Jumper, are the subjects of an FBI investigation into the handling of a $49.9 million dollar contract for the Air Force Thunderbirds, the air demonstration squadron.
Law enforcement officials tell ABC News the FBI is investigating allegations the two Air Force generals helped to steer the Thunderbird contract to a friend, retired Air Force Gen. Hal Hornburg.
Six months after leaving the military, Gen. Hornburg, whose command included the Thunderbirds,
became a partner in the company that won the contract.
"One of the highest ranking Air Force officers just creates his nest to land in when he leaves the military," said Danielle Brian of the Project on Government Oversight.
Investigators say Gen. Moseley and Gen. Jumper knew their friend was connected with the company when they awarded the contract.
The FBI investigation came about after complaints from Air Force insiders and from a rival company whose bid was for half the amount.
"We don't need it, it's a complete waste of money, and it is unethical the way it came about," said Sen. Tom Coburn of the Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations.
The contract was cancelled earlier this year when the Air Force General Counsel questioned the "integrity of the process" and the involvement of four star generals.
The case was referred to the Inspector General for the Department of Defense, and the FBI later joined the investigation.
All three Generals have denied any wrongdoing.
DJHJD
Friday, May 19, 2006
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Finally, one of the talking heads snaps back
http://www.kabc.com/mcintyre/listingsEntry.asp?ID=432586&PT=McIntyre+in+the+Morning
Doug's apology
AN APOLOGY FROM A BUSH VOTER
By Doug McIntyre
Host, McIntyre in the Morning
Talk Radio 790 KABC
There’s nothing harder in public life than admitting you’re wrong. By the way, admitting you’re wrong can be even tougher in private life. If you don’t believe me, just ask Bill Clinton or Charlie Sheen. But when you go out on the limb in public, it’s out there where everyone can see it, or in my case, hear it.
So, I’m saying today, I was wrong to have voted for George W. Bush. In historic terms, I believe George W. Bush is the worst two-term President in the history of the country. Worse than Grant. I also believe a case can be made that he’s the worst President, period.
In 2000, I was a McCain guy. I wasn’t sure about the Texas Governor. He had name recognition and a lot of money behind him, but other than that? What? Still, I was sick of all the Clinton shenanigans and the thought of President Gore was… unthinkable. So, GWB became my guy.
For the first few months he was just flubbing along like most new Presidents, no great shakes, but no disasters either. He cut taxes and I like tax cuts.
Then September 11th happened. September 11th changed everything for me, like it did for so many of you. After September 11th, all the intramural idiocy of American politics stopped being funny. We had been attacked by a vicious and determined enemy and it was time for all of us to row in the same direction.
And we did for the blink of an eye. I believed the President when he said we were going to hunt down Bin Laden and all those responsible for the 9-11 murders. I believed President Bush when he said we would go after the terrorists and the nations that harbored them.
I supported the President when he sent our troops into Afghanistan, after all, that’s where the Taliban was, that’s where al-Qaida trained the killers, that’s where Bin Laden was.
And I cheered when we quickly toppled the Taliban government, but winced when we let Bin Laden escape from Tora-Bora.
Then, the talk turned to Iraq and I winced again.
I thought the connection to 9-11 was sketchy at best. But Colin Powell impressed me at the UN, and Tony Blair was in, and after all, he was a Clinton guy, not a Bush guy, so I thought the case had to be strong. I was worried though, because I had read the Wolfowitz paper, “The Project for the New American Century.” It’s been around since ‘92, and it raised alarm bells because it was based on a theory, “Democratizing the Middle East” and I prefer pragmatism over theory. I was worried because Iraq was being justified on a radical new basis, “pre-emptive war.” Any time we do something without historical precedent I get nervous.
But the President shifted the argument to WMDs and the urgent threat of Iraq getting atomic weapons. The debate turned to Saddam passing nukes on to terror groups. After 9-11, the risk was too great. As the President said, “The next smoking gun might be a mushroom cloud.” At least that’s what I thought at the time.
I grew up in New York and watched them build the World Trade Center. I worked with a guy, Frank O’Brien, who put the elevators in both towers. I lost a very close friend on September 11th. 103 floor, tower one, Cantor Fitzgerald. Tim Coughlin was his name. If we had to take out Iraq to make sure something like that, or worse, never happened again, so be it. I knew the consequences. We have a soldier in our house. None of this was theoretical in my house.
But in the months and years since shock and awe I have been shocked repeatedly by a consistent litany of excuses, alibis, double-talk, inaccuracies, bogus predictions, and flat out lies. I have watched as the President and his administration changed the goals, redefined the reasons for going into Iraq, and fumbled the good will of the world and the focus necessary to catch the real killers of September 11th.
I have watched the President say the commanders on the ground will make the battlefield decisions, and the war won’t be run from Washington. Yet, politics has consistently determined what the troops can and can’t do on the ground and any commander who did not go along with the administration was sacked, and in some cases, maligned.
I watched and tried to justify the looting in Iraq after the fall of Saddam. I watched and tried to justify the dismantling of the entire Iraqi army. I tired to explain the complexities of building a functional new Iraqi army. I urged patience when no WMDs were found. Then the Vice President told us we were in the “waning days of the insurgency.” And I started wincing again. The President says we have to stay the course but what if it’s the wrong course?
It was the wrong course. All of it was wrong. We are not on the road to victory. We’re about to slink home with our tail between our legs, leaving civil war in Iraq and a nuclear armed Iran in our wake. Bali was bombed. Madrid was bombed. London was bombed. And Bin Laden is still making tapes. It’s unspeakable. The liberal media didn’t create this reality, bad policy did.
Most historians believe it takes 30-50 years before we get a reasonably accurate take on a President’s place in history. So, maybe 50 years from now Iraq will be a peaceful member of the brotherhood of nations and George W. Bush will be celebrated as a visionary genius.
But we don’t live fifty years in the future. We live now. We have to make public policy decisions now. We have to live with the consequences of the votes we cast and the leaders we chose now.
After five years of carefully watching George W. Bush I’ve reached the conclusion he’s either grossly incompetent, or a hand puppet for a gaggle of detached theorists with their own private view of how the world works. Or both.
Presidential failures. James Buchanan, Franklin Pierce, Jimmy Carter, Warren Harding-— the competition is fierce for the worst of the worst. Still, the damage this President has done is enormous. It will take decades to undo, and that’s assuming we do everything right from now on. His mistakes have global implications, while the other failed Presidents mostly authored domestic embarrassments.
And speaking of domestic embarrassments, let’s talk for a minute about President Bush’s domestic record. Yes, he cut taxes. But tax cuts combined with reckless spending and borrowing is criminal mismanagement of the public’s money. We’re drunk at the mall with our great grandchildren’s credit cards. Whatever happened to the party of fiscal responsibility?
Bush created a giant new entitlement, the prescription drug plan. He lied to his own party to get it passed. He lied to the country about its true cost. It was written by and for the pharmaceutical industry. It helps nobody except the multinationals that lobbied for it. So much for smaller government. In fact, virtually every tentacle of government has grown exponentially under Bush. Unless, of course, it was an agency to look after the public interest, or environmental protection, and/or worker’s rights.
I’ve talked so often about the border issue, I won’t bore you with a rehash. It’s enough to say this President has been a catastrophe for the wages of working people; he’s debased the work ethic itself. “Jobs Americans won’t do!” He doesn’t believe in the sovereign borders of the country he’s sworn to protect and defend. And his devotion to cheap labor for his corporate benefactors, along with his worship of multinational trade deals, makes an utter mockery of homeland security in a post 9-11 world. The President’s January 7th, 2004 speech on immigration, his first trial balloon on his guest worker scheme, was a deal breaker for me. I couldn’t and didn’t vote for him in 2004. And I’m glad I didn’t.
Katrina, Harriet Myers, The Dubai Port Deal, skyrocketing gas prices, shrinking wages for working people, staggering debt, astronomical foreign debt, outsourcing, open borders, contempt for the opinion of the American people, the war on science, media manipulation, faith based initives, a cavalier attitude toward fundamental freedoms-- this President has run the most arrogant and out-of-touch administration in my lifetime, perhaps, in any American’s lifetime.
You can make a case that Abraham Lincoln did what he had to do, the public be damned. If you roll the dice on your gut and you’re right, history remembers you well. But, when your gut led you from one business failure to another, when your gut told you to trade Sammy Sosa to the White Sox, and you use the same gut to send our sons and daughters to fight and die in a distraction from the real war on terror, then history will and should be unapologetic in its condemnation.
None of this, by the way, should be interpreted as an endorsement of the opposition party. The Democrats are equally bankrupt. This is the second crime of our age. Again, historically speaking, its times like these when America needs a vibrant opposition to check the power of a run-amuck majority party. It requires it. It doesn’t work without one. Like the high and low tides keep the oceans alive, a healthy, positive opposition offers a path back to the center where all healthy societies live.
Tragically, the Democrats have allowed crackpots, leftists and demagogic cowards to snipe from the sidelines while taking no responsibility for anything. In fairness, I don’t believe a Democrat president would have gone into Iraq. Unfortunately, I don’t know if President Gore would have gone into Afghanistan. And that’s one of the many problems with the Democrats.
The two party system has always been clumsy and imperfect, but it has only collapsed once, in the 1850s, and the result was civil war.
I believe, as I have said countless times, the two party system is on the brink of a second collapse. It’s currently running on spin, anger, revenge, and pots and pots and pots of money.
We’re being governed by paper-mache patriots; brightly painted red, white and blue, but hollow to the core. Both parties have mastered the cynical arts of media manipulation and fund raising. They’ve learned the lessons of Watergate and burn the tapes. They have learned to divide the nation for their own gain. They have demonstrated the willingness to exploit any tragedy for personal advantage. The contempt they have for the American people is without parallel.
This is painful to say, and I’m sure for many of you, painful to read. But it’s impossible to heal the country until we’re willing to acknowledge the truth no matter how painful. We have to wean ourselves off sugar coated partisan lies.
With a belated tip of the cap to Ralph Nader, the system is broken, so broken, it’s almost inevitable it pukes up the Al Gores and George W. Bushes. Where are the Trumans and the Eisenhowers? Where are the men and women of vision and accomplishment? Why do we have to settle for recycled hacks and malleable ciphers? Greatness is always rare, but is basic competence and simple honesty too much to ask?
It may be decades before we have the full picture of how paranoid and contemptuous this administration has been. And I am open to the possibility that I’m all wet about everything I’ve just said. But I’m putting it out there, because I have to call it as I see it, and this is how I see it today. I don’t say any of this lightly. I’ve thought about this for months and months. But eventually, the weight of evidence takes on a gravitational force of its own.
I believe that George W. Bush has taken us down a terrible road. I don’t believe the Democrats are offering an alternative. That means we’re on our own to save this magnificent country. The United States of America is a gift to the world, but it has been badly abused and it’s rightful owners, We the People, had better step up to the plate and reclaim it before the damage becomes irreparable.
So, accept my apology for allowing partisanship to blind me to an obvious truth; our President is incapable of the tasks he is charged with. I almost feel sorry for him. He is clearly in over his head. Yet, he doesn’t generate the sympathy Warren Harding earned. Harding, a spectacular mediocrity, had the self-knowledge to tell any and all he shouldn’t be President. George W. Bush continues to act the part, but at this point whose buying the act?
Does this make me a waffler? A flip-flopper? Maybe, although I prefer to call it realism. And, for those of you who never supported Bush, its also fair to accuse me of kicking Bush while he’s down. After all, you were kicking him while he was up.
You were right, I was wrong.
Doug's apology
AN APOLOGY FROM A BUSH VOTER
By Doug McIntyre
Host, McIntyre in the Morning
Talk Radio 790 KABC
There’s nothing harder in public life than admitting you’re wrong. By the way, admitting you’re wrong can be even tougher in private life. If you don’t believe me, just ask Bill Clinton or Charlie Sheen. But when you go out on the limb in public, it’s out there where everyone can see it, or in my case, hear it.
So, I’m saying today, I was wrong to have voted for George W. Bush. In historic terms, I believe George W. Bush is the worst two-term President in the history of the country. Worse than Grant. I also believe a case can be made that he’s the worst President, period.
In 2000, I was a McCain guy. I wasn’t sure about the Texas Governor. He had name recognition and a lot of money behind him, but other than that? What? Still, I was sick of all the Clinton shenanigans and the thought of President Gore was… unthinkable. So, GWB became my guy.
For the first few months he was just flubbing along like most new Presidents, no great shakes, but no disasters either. He cut taxes and I like tax cuts.
Then September 11th happened. September 11th changed everything for me, like it did for so many of you. After September 11th, all the intramural idiocy of American politics stopped being funny. We had been attacked by a vicious and determined enemy and it was time for all of us to row in the same direction.
And we did for the blink of an eye. I believed the President when he said we were going to hunt down Bin Laden and all those responsible for the 9-11 murders. I believed President Bush when he said we would go after the terrorists and the nations that harbored them.
I supported the President when he sent our troops into Afghanistan, after all, that’s where the Taliban was, that’s where al-Qaida trained the killers, that’s where Bin Laden was.
And I cheered when we quickly toppled the Taliban government, but winced when we let Bin Laden escape from Tora-Bora.
Then, the talk turned to Iraq and I winced again.
I thought the connection to 9-11 was sketchy at best. But Colin Powell impressed me at the UN, and Tony Blair was in, and after all, he was a Clinton guy, not a Bush guy, so I thought the case had to be strong. I was worried though, because I had read the Wolfowitz paper, “The Project for the New American Century.” It’s been around since ‘92, and it raised alarm bells because it was based on a theory, “Democratizing the Middle East” and I prefer pragmatism over theory. I was worried because Iraq was being justified on a radical new basis, “pre-emptive war.” Any time we do something without historical precedent I get nervous.
But the President shifted the argument to WMDs and the urgent threat of Iraq getting atomic weapons. The debate turned to Saddam passing nukes on to terror groups. After 9-11, the risk was too great. As the President said, “The next smoking gun might be a mushroom cloud.” At least that’s what I thought at the time.
I grew up in New York and watched them build the World Trade Center. I worked with a guy, Frank O’Brien, who put the elevators in both towers. I lost a very close friend on September 11th. 103 floor, tower one, Cantor Fitzgerald. Tim Coughlin was his name. If we had to take out Iraq to make sure something like that, or worse, never happened again, so be it. I knew the consequences. We have a soldier in our house. None of this was theoretical in my house.
But in the months and years since shock and awe I have been shocked repeatedly by a consistent litany of excuses, alibis, double-talk, inaccuracies, bogus predictions, and flat out lies. I have watched as the President and his administration changed the goals, redefined the reasons for going into Iraq, and fumbled the good will of the world and the focus necessary to catch the real killers of September 11th.
I have watched the President say the commanders on the ground will make the battlefield decisions, and the war won’t be run from Washington. Yet, politics has consistently determined what the troops can and can’t do on the ground and any commander who did not go along with the administration was sacked, and in some cases, maligned.
I watched and tried to justify the looting in Iraq after the fall of Saddam. I watched and tried to justify the dismantling of the entire Iraqi army. I tired to explain the complexities of building a functional new Iraqi army. I urged patience when no WMDs were found. Then the Vice President told us we were in the “waning days of the insurgency.” And I started wincing again. The President says we have to stay the course but what if it’s the wrong course?
It was the wrong course. All of it was wrong. We are not on the road to victory. We’re about to slink home with our tail between our legs, leaving civil war in Iraq and a nuclear armed Iran in our wake. Bali was bombed. Madrid was bombed. London was bombed. And Bin Laden is still making tapes. It’s unspeakable. The liberal media didn’t create this reality, bad policy did.
Most historians believe it takes 30-50 years before we get a reasonably accurate take on a President’s place in history. So, maybe 50 years from now Iraq will be a peaceful member of the brotherhood of nations and George W. Bush will be celebrated as a visionary genius.
But we don’t live fifty years in the future. We live now. We have to make public policy decisions now. We have to live with the consequences of the votes we cast and the leaders we chose now.
After five years of carefully watching George W. Bush I’ve reached the conclusion he’s either grossly incompetent, or a hand puppet for a gaggle of detached theorists with their own private view of how the world works. Or both.
Presidential failures. James Buchanan, Franklin Pierce, Jimmy Carter, Warren Harding-— the competition is fierce for the worst of the worst. Still, the damage this President has done is enormous. It will take decades to undo, and that’s assuming we do everything right from now on. His mistakes have global implications, while the other failed Presidents mostly authored domestic embarrassments.
And speaking of domestic embarrassments, let’s talk for a minute about President Bush’s domestic record. Yes, he cut taxes. But tax cuts combined with reckless spending and borrowing is criminal mismanagement of the public’s money. We’re drunk at the mall with our great grandchildren’s credit cards. Whatever happened to the party of fiscal responsibility?
Bush created a giant new entitlement, the prescription drug plan. He lied to his own party to get it passed. He lied to the country about its true cost. It was written by and for the pharmaceutical industry. It helps nobody except the multinationals that lobbied for it. So much for smaller government. In fact, virtually every tentacle of government has grown exponentially under Bush. Unless, of course, it was an agency to look after the public interest, or environmental protection, and/or worker’s rights.
I’ve talked so often about the border issue, I won’t bore you with a rehash. It’s enough to say this President has been a catastrophe for the wages of working people; he’s debased the work ethic itself. “Jobs Americans won’t do!” He doesn’t believe in the sovereign borders of the country he’s sworn to protect and defend. And his devotion to cheap labor for his corporate benefactors, along with his worship of multinational trade deals, makes an utter mockery of homeland security in a post 9-11 world. The President’s January 7th, 2004 speech on immigration, his first trial balloon on his guest worker scheme, was a deal breaker for me. I couldn’t and didn’t vote for him in 2004. And I’m glad I didn’t.
Katrina, Harriet Myers, The Dubai Port Deal, skyrocketing gas prices, shrinking wages for working people, staggering debt, astronomical foreign debt, outsourcing, open borders, contempt for the opinion of the American people, the war on science, media manipulation, faith based initives, a cavalier attitude toward fundamental freedoms-- this President has run the most arrogant and out-of-touch administration in my lifetime, perhaps, in any American’s lifetime.
You can make a case that Abraham Lincoln did what he had to do, the public be damned. If you roll the dice on your gut and you’re right, history remembers you well. But, when your gut led you from one business failure to another, when your gut told you to trade Sammy Sosa to the White Sox, and you use the same gut to send our sons and daughters to fight and die in a distraction from the real war on terror, then history will and should be unapologetic in its condemnation.
None of this, by the way, should be interpreted as an endorsement of the opposition party. The Democrats are equally bankrupt. This is the second crime of our age. Again, historically speaking, its times like these when America needs a vibrant opposition to check the power of a run-amuck majority party. It requires it. It doesn’t work without one. Like the high and low tides keep the oceans alive, a healthy, positive opposition offers a path back to the center where all healthy societies live.
Tragically, the Democrats have allowed crackpots, leftists and demagogic cowards to snipe from the sidelines while taking no responsibility for anything. In fairness, I don’t believe a Democrat president would have gone into Iraq. Unfortunately, I don’t know if President Gore would have gone into Afghanistan. And that’s one of the many problems with the Democrats.
The two party system has always been clumsy and imperfect, but it has only collapsed once, in the 1850s, and the result was civil war.
I believe, as I have said countless times, the two party system is on the brink of a second collapse. It’s currently running on spin, anger, revenge, and pots and pots and pots of money.
We’re being governed by paper-mache patriots; brightly painted red, white and blue, but hollow to the core. Both parties have mastered the cynical arts of media manipulation and fund raising. They’ve learned the lessons of Watergate and burn the tapes. They have learned to divide the nation for their own gain. They have demonstrated the willingness to exploit any tragedy for personal advantage. The contempt they have for the American people is without parallel.
This is painful to say, and I’m sure for many of you, painful to read. But it’s impossible to heal the country until we’re willing to acknowledge the truth no matter how painful. We have to wean ourselves off sugar coated partisan lies.
With a belated tip of the cap to Ralph Nader, the system is broken, so broken, it’s almost inevitable it pukes up the Al Gores and George W. Bushes. Where are the Trumans and the Eisenhowers? Where are the men and women of vision and accomplishment? Why do we have to settle for recycled hacks and malleable ciphers? Greatness is always rare, but is basic competence and simple honesty too much to ask?
It may be decades before we have the full picture of how paranoid and contemptuous this administration has been. And I am open to the possibility that I’m all wet about everything I’ve just said. But I’m putting it out there, because I have to call it as I see it, and this is how I see it today. I don’t say any of this lightly. I’ve thought about this for months and months. But eventually, the weight of evidence takes on a gravitational force of its own.
I believe that George W. Bush has taken us down a terrible road. I don’t believe the Democrats are offering an alternative. That means we’re on our own to save this magnificent country. The United States of America is a gift to the world, but it has been badly abused and it’s rightful owners, We the People, had better step up to the plate and reclaim it before the damage becomes irreparable.
So, accept my apology for allowing partisanship to blind me to an obvious truth; our President is incapable of the tasks he is charged with. I almost feel sorry for him. He is clearly in over his head. Yet, he doesn’t generate the sympathy Warren Harding earned. Harding, a spectacular mediocrity, had the self-knowledge to tell any and all he shouldn’t be President. George W. Bush continues to act the part, but at this point whose buying the act?
Does this make me a waffler? A flip-flopper? Maybe, although I prefer to call it realism. And, for those of you who never supported Bush, its also fair to accuse me of kicking Bush while he’s down. After all, you were kicking him while he was up.
You were right, I was wrong.
Prac'd
Just finished the Practitioner exam. 74 minutes, start to finish. We have three hours. It just seemed so much less involved than what we were prepared for. I’m writing a blog entry rather than make everyone nervous by getting up and printing my exam, signaling that I’m done.
When I was in college and in law school, I always finished the exam section a significant time before the allotted, and signaling that I was done always rattled those around me, which is a positive in a competitive environment such as that. In this environment, the intent is that everyone passes.
The traffic up here today was the worst EVER. I left the house at 5:05, and didn’t arrive here until 6:35. I was a bit tense when I arrived. I got over it. Mostly. One woman, driving a Jeep Grand as if she were a 15 year old male with a learner’s permit cut me off THREE times in less than a quarter mile, and then acted surprised when my “peace and tranquility” was busted into small pieces.
Today, I handed no man his hat. I did get Mitch the Twitch paying attention to me when I said that I wanted to stay in the house, but would not engage in a discussion based on what I could afford. I had to re-send him the several emails that I had sent outlining my position and non-specific offer, and I’m sure he has deleted those without reading them as well.
He’s such a nudge.
My new printer/fax/scanner/copier (thanks Donna!) is OUTSTANDING, and is suddenly not printing. Blarg. I need more help getting it working with one of the print server or the network hub. SOMETHING needs to work.
Tomorrow is another day. I have some accounting work to catch up on, but I rather think that the day will be spent working on mortgage classes – where to offer them, designing the flyers, where to send the flyers, completing the course books, that sort of thing. In the late afternoon, I am picking up Nicole, who is taking me out for my birthday present, even though we’re more than half way to the next birthday. We’ll have fun.
Chuck is going to BearSnatch all weekend in Galveston, so I’m flying solo – well, at least on Sunday. That boy has more dates than an Arab market.
It’s kind of strange that this is my last prac class. I haven’t breathed a word to a soul, but I’m thinking of volunteering to co-teach prac one next year with Jesse.
I wrote up a book outline for my ghostly experience with Judy (the murdered woman whom I saw at her house a few years ago) and sent it to Donna. She loved it! I have to put the outline into a format that the industry will recognize, and write the first chapter or so. She encouraged me to go to OGG (that’s airline speak for Maui) in August to attend a writer’s conference – I wonder how that would fit with my class reunion and my dad’s 80th birthday that month.
Oh, part of me just wants to be honest, get up and print the silly exam. This low plastic chair is hurting my knees and my lower back.
What if Neitzche was wrong? What if that which doesn’t kill you just makes you bitter?
The weather has just been gorgeous. If it were like this all the time, that would be just fine with me.
I was loading the car tonight (laptop, man bag, ink jet printer, CD-ROM external drive, cables, etc.) and noticed that Barney is looking .. well, like crap! He looks like an old guy in a nursing home right before they have to put him into diapers and feed him with a straw. I wonder if scrubbing him up on Saturday will help. It seems he hasn’t been chewing on himself since his Big Vacation, but of course, he has no front teeth left.
I’m just immersed in this crapola feeling that has underlain everything I’ve ever done or felt in my entire life. It’s all I’m present to (how Landmark was THAT?) Of course, this can be a good thing, because when one (me) gets REALLY clear about a feeling that they’re ready to release – it becomes easy to let ‘er go. And this one, I’d love to let go.
I’m clear that this feeling has colored (would poisoned be a better word? Probably) EVERYTHING I’ve attempted. Only when I can rise about this feeling do I have fully satisfying results. Jayne tells me that I need to reach back and focus on one of those feelings and bring that forward. Uh, hm. Tough gig. Working on it though.
Seeing Tom tonight after class. We have a ton of talking to do about the websites (six gazillion of ‘em) that I have tossed into his lap. Yesterday, we signed up with my registrar for monthly hosting for up to five URLs. Well, hell, that’s going to be soaked up by June, if I have any say over it. I’m going to see what it’s going to take to light a fire under his (very round) butt to get these websites deployed ASAP.
Pappa wants a new car, after all. And he doesn’t want to have to reach down and pay for it.
Nothing produces verbiage like a bunch of time with nothing else to do but think, create words and plunk down the keys.
Not a peep today from either of the gentlemen who had their hats handed to them yesterday; the guy from the Buick dealer, nor Secret Agent man.
Mikey’s coming over on Saturday morning to work on getting ready for the big party on Memorial Day. He’s prepared to start making jell-o shots ALREADY, which will require that we a.) make space in the freezer, which is full, b.) buy some really cheap vodka, and c.) buy shot cups. He’s a nut, but he’s popped up ready to ROLL with this party, and I’m very grateful. He single handedly made WoB #3’s Memorial Day weenie roast last year. All Curt did was hand over some cabbage and pick up some (crappy) chips and queso. Note to file: Mikey, I have a fabulous fondue pot that Sondra gave me. We can keep the queso HOT all afternoon.
Found a massage guy online who claims that he’s studied and can fix TMJ. As in the TMJ that causes me great discomfort EVERY day, wakes me up at night, and which I studiously ignore. He was emailing back and forth with me today about it – asking questions “if you hold your nose and blow, is either ear blocked?” etc., etc. He says he thinks I have a pinched nerve in my neck which is causing the jaw/neck/shoulder tension. I think he’s coming over Sunday for a few hours to fix it. FIX it. He was describing how these pinched nerves NEVER go back to normal, the body just adapts. Well, hell – when I was nineteen, I was in a pretty severe car wreck – and my neck hasn’t been right since. Now that he mentions it, it just gets worse every. Single. Year.
So, what will it be like to NOT have my shoulders up hanging off my earlobes? To not have all this pain? Wow. I don’t know. It’s like what you can do with all the negative thoughts that you finally rid yourself of.
Okay, people are moving around, so I’m going to close down, and hook up my printer.
Now that’s done. Jayne’s done too. To be worried or not? Kyle’s done, and he’s printing his paper. Once he’s done that, I’ll print mine out.
Debby gave me a copy of 365 SOM! How fabulous! I just love her.
When I was in college and in law school, I always finished the exam section a significant time before the allotted, and signaling that I was done always rattled those around me, which is a positive in a competitive environment such as that. In this environment, the intent is that everyone passes.
The traffic up here today was the worst EVER. I left the house at 5:05, and didn’t arrive here until 6:35. I was a bit tense when I arrived. I got over it. Mostly. One woman, driving a Jeep Grand as if she were a 15 year old male with a learner’s permit cut me off THREE times in less than a quarter mile, and then acted surprised when my “peace and tranquility” was busted into small pieces.
Today, I handed no man his hat. I did get Mitch the Twitch paying attention to me when I said that I wanted to stay in the house, but would not engage in a discussion based on what I could afford. I had to re-send him the several emails that I had sent outlining my position and non-specific offer, and I’m sure he has deleted those without reading them as well.
He’s such a nudge.
My new printer/fax/scanner/copier (thanks Donna!) is OUTSTANDING, and is suddenly not printing. Blarg. I need more help getting it working with one of the print server or the network hub. SOMETHING needs to work.
Tomorrow is another day. I have some accounting work to catch up on, but I rather think that the day will be spent working on mortgage classes – where to offer them, designing the flyers, where to send the flyers, completing the course books, that sort of thing. In the late afternoon, I am picking up Nicole, who is taking me out for my birthday present, even though we’re more than half way to the next birthday. We’ll have fun.
Chuck is going to BearSnatch all weekend in Galveston, so I’m flying solo – well, at least on Sunday. That boy has more dates than an Arab market.
It’s kind of strange that this is my last prac class. I haven’t breathed a word to a soul, but I’m thinking of volunteering to co-teach prac one next year with Jesse.
I wrote up a book outline for my ghostly experience with Judy (the murdered woman whom I saw at her house a few years ago) and sent it to Donna. She loved it! I have to put the outline into a format that the industry will recognize, and write the first chapter or so. She encouraged me to go to OGG (that’s airline speak for Maui) in August to attend a writer’s conference – I wonder how that would fit with my class reunion and my dad’s 80th birthday that month.
Oh, part of me just wants to be honest, get up and print the silly exam. This low plastic chair is hurting my knees and my lower back.
What if Neitzche was wrong? What if that which doesn’t kill you just makes you bitter?
The weather has just been gorgeous. If it were like this all the time, that would be just fine with me.
I was loading the car tonight (laptop, man bag, ink jet printer, CD-ROM external drive, cables, etc.) and noticed that Barney is looking .. well, like crap! He looks like an old guy in a nursing home right before they have to put him into diapers and feed him with a straw. I wonder if scrubbing him up on Saturday will help. It seems he hasn’t been chewing on himself since his Big Vacation, but of course, he has no front teeth left.
I’m just immersed in this crapola feeling that has underlain everything I’ve ever done or felt in my entire life. It’s all I’m present to (how Landmark was THAT?) Of course, this can be a good thing, because when one (me) gets REALLY clear about a feeling that they’re ready to release – it becomes easy to let ‘er go. And this one, I’d love to let go.
I’m clear that this feeling has colored (would poisoned be a better word? Probably) EVERYTHING I’ve attempted. Only when I can rise about this feeling do I have fully satisfying results. Jayne tells me that I need to reach back and focus on one of those feelings and bring that forward. Uh, hm. Tough gig. Working on it though.
Seeing Tom tonight after class. We have a ton of talking to do about the websites (six gazillion of ‘em) that I have tossed into his lap. Yesterday, we signed up with my registrar for monthly hosting for up to five URLs. Well, hell, that’s going to be soaked up by June, if I have any say over it. I’m going to see what it’s going to take to light a fire under his (very round) butt to get these websites deployed ASAP.
Pappa wants a new car, after all. And he doesn’t want to have to reach down and pay for it.
Nothing produces verbiage like a bunch of time with nothing else to do but think, create words and plunk down the keys.
Not a peep today from either of the gentlemen who had their hats handed to them yesterday; the guy from the Buick dealer, nor Secret Agent man.
Mikey’s coming over on Saturday morning to work on getting ready for the big party on Memorial Day. He’s prepared to start making jell-o shots ALREADY, which will require that we a.) make space in the freezer, which is full, b.) buy some really cheap vodka, and c.) buy shot cups. He’s a nut, but he’s popped up ready to ROLL with this party, and I’m very grateful. He single handedly made WoB #3’s Memorial Day weenie roast last year. All Curt did was hand over some cabbage and pick up some (crappy) chips and queso. Note to file: Mikey, I have a fabulous fondue pot that Sondra gave me. We can keep the queso HOT all afternoon.
Found a massage guy online who claims that he’s studied and can fix TMJ. As in the TMJ that causes me great discomfort EVERY day, wakes me up at night, and which I studiously ignore. He was emailing back and forth with me today about it – asking questions “if you hold your nose and blow, is either ear blocked?” etc., etc. He says he thinks I have a pinched nerve in my neck which is causing the jaw/neck/shoulder tension. I think he’s coming over Sunday for a few hours to fix it. FIX it. He was describing how these pinched nerves NEVER go back to normal, the body just adapts. Well, hell – when I was nineteen, I was in a pretty severe car wreck – and my neck hasn’t been right since. Now that he mentions it, it just gets worse every. Single. Year.
So, what will it be like to NOT have my shoulders up hanging off my earlobes? To not have all this pain? Wow. I don’t know. It’s like what you can do with all the negative thoughts that you finally rid yourself of.
Okay, people are moving around, so I’m going to close down, and hook up my printer.
Now that’s done. Jayne’s done too. To be worried or not? Kyle’s done, and he’s printing his paper. Once he’s done that, I’ll print mine out.
Debby gave me a copy of 365 SOM! How fabulous! I just love her.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
I think that
the universe was NOT wanting me to post what I had posted earlier, because after typing a bunch of text into this box - it all vanished when I tried to open up a movie file that someone sent me.
This day was rewarding in some regards, and utterly unrewarding in others. Perhaps I should focus on the rewarding parts. HAH.
This evening, I did get the tool kit and other detritus organized into the laundry room closet, which was a big step forward. That was a good feeling.
Which is something I'm digging for. A good feeling that isn't overlaying a bad feeling.
This day was rewarding in some regards, and utterly unrewarding in others. Perhaps I should focus on the rewarding parts. HAH.
This evening, I did get the tool kit and other detritus organized into the laundry room closet, which was a big step forward. That was a good feeling.
Which is something I'm digging for. A good feeling that isn't overlaying a bad feeling.
Monday, May 15, 2006
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