Review, revised

I spent some time last night re-reading my posts from late 2002 and early 2003. I'm sort of processing through all of that; it seems to me that I haven't had any material change in my circumstanes, only the anxiety has abated sharply.

Oh, and I used to write better. It was more engaging, but more dramatic.

So, is that acceptable? I think not. The level of change, not the writing quality.

I'm busily installing software on my new hard drive.. we're doing a total re-format re-install of everything to get it cleaned up. It's amazing how much software there IS to install. I have discs of stuff that I just don't need anymore (outdated, whatever) and so another thing we're going to do is to nuke all the CD-ROMs that are no longer needed.

I noticed how much (nearly everything) of my "wish" list I had completed over the two years in the review period. Most of that has been done THIS year. Now, there is yet more stuff to be sorted, cleaned, tossed out, whatever. Amazing. However, things are in relatively decent shape as far as home maintenance goes.

By tomorrow evening, I'll have everything done save for the Fabulair business plan and the mortgage business plan (which I haven't started writing yet.) That will occupy next week, I guess.

I have to write a eulogy for myself - set in the future - by Monday night. I really have it rattling around in my head. This issue of change - directing it or just responding to it - is going to be central in what I do write for the project.

Still installing software. CP has convinced me to work with him in the mortgage business, on the side, and recruiting realtors as loan officers. Sounds very interesting.

The final day of tax season (liberated)

I'm mostly done. Just the big ol glob to finish up, and I have that neatly sorted, and am doing my data entry/synthesis. Free until later tonight, when I have dinner with Lance, whom I haven't been seeing very often, because his job is SO going great.

I just had a LONG conversation with Darlene about change, creating change, reacting to change and the differences therein. We have to write a eulogy about ourselves for our class on Monday night; we have to project into the future and write about what we learned in life, how we affected people, how we are viewed by others after we died, and how we failed. At least, that's how I'm taking on the assignment.

So, I have my mind a-buzz about .. what am I going to do next? I've truly come to the end of this little wagon train. Tax season is over, and something else has to be done. I don't want to go backward (read: mortgage business) I was talking to Darlene about how one becomes a person who creates change rather than someone who reacts to it.

I think that most of the people in the world are just developing their facility with managing change and fear; they're not out there making something happen (except as it applies to mangaging imposed change.) I believe that I've developed about as much facility with managing change and circumstance as one would ever need; now it's time for something new.

How would this look? Burying the past for good. Burying my definition of who I am and how I look. Burying my definition of what I can accomplish. Burying my definition of myself and relationships with men. Burying my definition of my acceptance in the gay community.

E is planning out my visit to YVR in a week. He's going to have a little mini-party so that I can meet his friends. I think I need to have Guy's help in picking out what to wear and bring up there. He's already telling me that my entire way of dressing needs to be revised.

And he certainly has a point.

Anyway, that's where the thought processes are taking me today.

Hours left, and then tax time is over

well, except for the procrastinators.

So far this year, I've done 42 tax returns, which compares very favorably to the 72 I did last year while working for v-man. I've done more business returns this year, and have fewer extensions to follow up on. If I'm still in this business next year, it will prove to be a good thing. Work less, make more.

Mikey's on his way over, as are three different tax clients to pick things up. I have to do some more work today, and tonight is all about staying in and being quiet.

It seems that my Angel muppet doll was shipped today. Interesting.

just before bedtime

Got to finally watch 'Six Degrees of Separation,' which I had never seen before. Great movie! What a great job Stockard Channing did!

After tomorrow, all of this crap here in the den/office will be put AWAY! Whoop!

Happy Hump Day

I don't remember my allergies being this bad. Or, maybe I do and I don't think about it. Hard to recall.

Time to get to fishing or cutting bait on tax returns for the day. Off I go!

Three days left -

Yep, just three days.

Tomorrow, I have a jump start on clearing through the rest of the tax work that's sitting here - one client just found a whole BUNCH of financial records that are .. God help us .. ORGANIZED! Whoo!

Watched a really cool movie tonight - "The Trip."

This allergy thing is really getting on my nerves. Hopefully, tomorrow will bring some relief in that area.

Sunday -

Interesting day - not enough sleep last night, didn't want to go to church this morning, hung out with Nicole for a few hours, which was great, and then a quick dinner with Guy and home to watch a truly yuckie DVD from Netflix. Why must all movies about gay people focus on AIDS? Is there no other element of our lives?

Tomorrow has been hijacked by PJ. She purports to be willing to help me with some things, which is well and good, but .. I need to get some things done that are already assigned.

Last night was fun and amusing. We sat with Jarred for the first time in more than a month, and he was showering me with affection and flirtation. I have a lunch date with him on Friday, and a commitment to let me take him out for his birthday on the 12th.

The oak pollen is just kicking my ass lately. I need to go to bed here pretty soon, and see if I can sleep through its effects.