I'm mostly done. Just the big ol glob to finish up, and I have that neatly sorted, and am doing my data entry/synthesis. Free until later tonight, when I have dinner with Lance, whom I haven't been seeing very often, because his job is SO going great.
I just had a LONG conversation with Darlene about change, creating change, reacting to change and the differences therein. We have to write a eulogy about ourselves for our class on Monday night; we have to project into the future and write about what we learned in life, how we affected people, how we are viewed by others after we died, and how we failed. At least, that's how I'm taking on the assignment.
So, I have my mind a-buzz about .. what am I going to do next? I've truly come to the end of this little wagon train. Tax season is over, and something else has to be done. I don't want to go backward (read: mortgage business) I was talking to Darlene about how one becomes a person who creates change rather than someone who reacts to it.
I think that most of the people in the world are just developing their facility with managing change and fear; they're not out there making something happen (except as it applies to mangaging imposed change.) I believe that I've developed about as much facility with managing change and circumstance as one would ever need; now it's time for something new.
How would this look? Burying the past for good. Burying my definition of who I am and how I look. Burying my definition of what I can accomplish. Burying my definition of myself and relationships with men. Burying my definition of my acceptance in the gay community.
E is planning out my visit to YVR in a week. He's going to have a little mini-party so that I can meet his friends. I think I need to have Guy's help in picking out what to wear and bring up there. He's already telling me that my entire way of dressing needs to be revised.
And he certainly has a point.
Anyway, that's where the thought processes are taking me today.
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