Apres moi, le deluge
Well, it's another day.
Just as I was starting to think that things couldn't turn around, they did. Anticipatorily, anyway.
But since human beings exist on hope, not reality, it's more important to have things LOOK like they're turning out than actually turning out.
Actually, I think I need to cook up a poem about what really drives people. That's something else on my list for tomorrow.
Curtis (as distinct from Kurtis) was supposed to come over tonight. He said that he was going to be partying at his house - I hope I talked him out of it.
DJHJD
Friday, January 17, 2003
Thursday, January 16, 2003
When is enough ENOUGH?
Today's imponderable question is: When is it enough? How long do you beat your head against the wall before throwing in the towel and starting again somewhere else? Is a year enough? When do you become sure enough that you have tried it long enough that you don't question that you moved?
15 months ago, I was unemployed in the wake of psycho Judy and the business model that spent money but developed no sales. My law school friend Michael wanted me to work with him setting up a tax preparation and [maybe] mortgage office near my apartment. He would front the money to set it up, I'd provide all the labor. I would only be paid for what I produced - a percentage of the tax prep profits, and a percentage of income from mortgages. So, we've lurched along now, with a hand written agreement that is totally non-specific as to WHEN profits would be analyzed and paid, and I've worked my tail off, even though I've harbored a grudge since before I said yes over his comment "I want to harness your brain and make money off of it."
I said yes to his proposal not because I wanted to, or because I thought it was the best opportunity, but because, frankly gentle reader, there was NOTHING ELSE TO CHOOSE FROM.
And here I am.
The mortgage business is, as Michael calls it, a commodity. All things devolve eventually into a commodity. And in a commodity market, there is nothing to distinguish the product; the only way to make income is to enhance volume. Thus, in my business, there is nothing to distinguish a user from one to the next - their choice is frequently made on the basis of a personal feeling, or arbitrary matters.
In other words, in the mortgage business, I am not unique.
There are other issues - but, the bottom line is that I struggle to make a living every month, and I just feel that I'm too damned old to have to fight to survive every month.
However, what else can I do that will support me while I try to re-create myself into an emerging marketplace, rather than being a competitor in a commodity market?
The program into which I intend to place myself is one which is truly emerging. The doctoral degree programs have only existed a few years, and I would be one of a very small number of people who would be out consulting with such credentials. It will take me three years or so to finish, and so my life needs to support me and the tuition and expenses during that period.
Since my entry into adulthood, I've never really looked at myself, until today, as being on the wrong end of the market curve. When I went to law school, I was cresting a wave or law school enrollments that broke onto the shores of humanity in the United States, swamping everyone with a glut of lawyers, all looking for some way to scratch out a living.
I started bankruptcy law just at a time that it was becoming automated; just as I was getting known and very good at it, Windows versions of the software became readily available, and anyone with a couple hundred bucks and a law license could be a "bankrtupcy lawyer."
I went into the mortgage business at the tail end of a mortgage broker's being able to well and truly accomplish something for a client; now, anyone with perfect credit can get a loan over the internet with very little effort. Mortgage brokers will fairly soon go the way of the buggy whip -
Do I want to ride that wave down to its predictable end?
Clearly, not.
Today's imponderable question is: When is it enough? How long do you beat your head against the wall before throwing in the towel and starting again somewhere else? Is a year enough? When do you become sure enough that you have tried it long enough that you don't question that you moved?
15 months ago, I was unemployed in the wake of psycho Judy and the business model that spent money but developed no sales. My law school friend Michael wanted me to work with him setting up a tax preparation and [maybe] mortgage office near my apartment. He would front the money to set it up, I'd provide all the labor. I would only be paid for what I produced - a percentage of the tax prep profits, and a percentage of income from mortgages. So, we've lurched along now, with a hand written agreement that is totally non-specific as to WHEN profits would be analyzed and paid, and I've worked my tail off, even though I've harbored a grudge since before I said yes over his comment "I want to harness your brain and make money off of it."
I said yes to his proposal not because I wanted to, or because I thought it was the best opportunity, but because, frankly gentle reader, there was NOTHING ELSE TO CHOOSE FROM.
And here I am.
The mortgage business is, as Michael calls it, a commodity. All things devolve eventually into a commodity. And in a commodity market, there is nothing to distinguish the product; the only way to make income is to enhance volume. Thus, in my business, there is nothing to distinguish a user from one to the next - their choice is frequently made on the basis of a personal feeling, or arbitrary matters.
In other words, in the mortgage business, I am not unique.
There are other issues - but, the bottom line is that I struggle to make a living every month, and I just feel that I'm too damned old to have to fight to survive every month.
However, what else can I do that will support me while I try to re-create myself into an emerging marketplace, rather than being a competitor in a commodity market?
The program into which I intend to place myself is one which is truly emerging. The doctoral degree programs have only existed a few years, and I would be one of a very small number of people who would be out consulting with such credentials. It will take me three years or so to finish, and so my life needs to support me and the tuition and expenses during that period.
Since my entry into adulthood, I've never really looked at myself, until today, as being on the wrong end of the market curve. When I went to law school, I was cresting a wave or law school enrollments that broke onto the shores of humanity in the United States, swamping everyone with a glut of lawyers, all looking for some way to scratch out a living.
I started bankruptcy law just at a time that it was becoming automated; just as I was getting known and very good at it, Windows versions of the software became readily available, and anyone with a couple hundred bucks and a law license could be a "bankrtupcy lawyer."
I went into the mortgage business at the tail end of a mortgage broker's being able to well and truly accomplish something for a client; now, anyone with perfect credit can get a loan over the internet with very little effort. Mortgage brokers will fairly soon go the way of the buggy whip -
Do I want to ride that wave down to its predictable end?
Clearly, not.
Monday, January 13, 2003
Once more, with feeling
Matthew cancelled today - I guess that was fine - it was much cheaper than actually driving over to pick him up, taking him somewhere for dinner, then getting involved in any way only THEN to be snaggled by the "maybe" monster.
The maybe monster is a device used by younger people to avoid making a commitment or a negative reply. "Will you go to the party with me?" "Probably."
"Probably" falls into the great Divo rule of "any answer other than yes is no." "Probably" is "no" with a knife.
"Probably" means "not yes, but I'll have you think yes while I see if something better than you and your idea comes along."
Matthew is a heavy user of "probably."
Today, I asked a friend of mine if he'd like to come to my cocktail party, and he answered "Probably - I'll write it down, and see if I can make it."
Turns out he's been sick. I probably shouldn't have accused him of spending too much time chasing youngsters.
He does, though.
Matthew cancelled today - I guess that was fine - it was much cheaper than actually driving over to pick him up, taking him somewhere for dinner, then getting involved in any way only THEN to be snaggled by the "maybe" monster.
The maybe monster is a device used by younger people to avoid making a commitment or a negative reply. "Will you go to the party with me?" "Probably."
"Probably" falls into the great Divo rule of "any answer other than yes is no." "Probably" is "no" with a knife.
"Probably" means "not yes, but I'll have you think yes while I see if something better than you and your idea comes along."
Matthew is a heavy user of "probably."
Today, I asked a friend of mine if he'd like to come to my cocktail party, and he answered "Probably - I'll write it down, and see if I can make it."
Turns out he's been sick. I probably shouldn't have accused him of spending too much time chasing youngsters.
He does, though.
Finally following advice -
Sometimes, it only takes a while.
Before 09/11/01, I finally got certified to lead Zenger Miller courses through Camber Corporation. Three weeks later, "they" blew up the World Trade Center, and .. well ..
That job really ended because Psycho Judy had blown through four years of development budget in just under two years - and brought in ONE contract for a single day's training of $800.
Did I mention that they paid out more than $800 to go down and deliver the training?
Anyway, I like the 09/11/01 excuse better - it sounds so .. community oriented.
After I got nuked over at Camber, I approached UH-CL, for whom I've been teaching since 1995, and I asked them if they would be interested in doing the Zenger Miller thing. After six months, and two meetings, they decided not to pursue it, and my boss over there told me to approach San Jacinto Junior College about it.
So, I put it off. For six months. Or better.
Today, after having one loan blow up and and a "friend" blow me off on an appraisal comment, I called.
They nearly hired me over the phone. So, I go tomorrow at 2:00 to meet with them.
She seemed to sound like they had a LOT of classes to teach. So, who gives a flip about whether the interest rates go up or down?
I should be starting this by the end of February.
Sometimes, it only takes a while.
Before 09/11/01, I finally got certified to lead Zenger Miller courses through Camber Corporation. Three weeks later, "they" blew up the World Trade Center, and .. well ..
That job really ended because Psycho Judy had blown through four years of development budget in just under two years - and brought in ONE contract for a single day's training of $800.
Did I mention that they paid out more than $800 to go down and deliver the training?
Anyway, I like the 09/11/01 excuse better - it sounds so .. community oriented.
After I got nuked over at Camber, I approached UH-CL, for whom I've been teaching since 1995, and I asked them if they would be interested in doing the Zenger Miller thing. After six months, and two meetings, they decided not to pursue it, and my boss over there told me to approach San Jacinto Junior College about it.
So, I put it off. For six months. Or better.
Today, after having one loan blow up and and a "friend" blow me off on an appraisal comment, I called.
They nearly hired me over the phone. So, I go tomorrow at 2:00 to meet with them.
She seemed to sound like they had a LOT of classes to teach. So, who gives a flip about whether the interest rates go up or down?
I should be starting this by the end of February.
Sunday, January 12, 2003
Matthew, Chapter Two, Verse One
A lovely evening at Richard's again - it's cold here tonight!! 37F/2C! Brrrr!
Today was somewhat productive, and will be an early evening to bed. I got caught up on records filing, and am waffling on whether to put a light in my curio over the porcelain goddess, which will hold my airline glass.
Talked to Matthew today for a while. Last we exchanged messages, he said he thought it would be better if we were just friends.
Today, we seem to have had an about-face. He mentioned that he had been bored and lonely, and that I had "always shown him a good time."
So, the bottom line is that we're going to dinner tomorrow night, my anti-Y pledge notwithstanding.
I'll report in later.
Tonight's pearl of wisdom, from "Sex and the City." It goes - "There are three things that people in the city are always looking for: A job, an apartment and a man. Why is it that, when I have two of three that are fabulous, I define myself by my lack of the third?"
Amen, sister.
A lovely evening at Richard's again - it's cold here tonight!! 37F/2C! Brrrr!
Today was somewhat productive, and will be an early evening to bed. I got caught up on records filing, and am waffling on whether to put a light in my curio over the porcelain goddess, which will hold my airline glass.
Talked to Matthew today for a while. Last we exchanged messages, he said he thought it would be better if we were just friends.
Today, we seem to have had an about-face. He mentioned that he had been bored and lonely, and that I had "always shown him a good time."
So, the bottom line is that we're going to dinner tomorrow night, my anti-Y pledge notwithstanding.
I'll report in later.
Tonight's pearl of wisdom, from "Sex and the City." It goes - "There are three things that people in the city are always looking for: A job, an apartment and a man. Why is it that, when I have two of three that are fabulous, I define myself by my lack of the third?"
Amen, sister.
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