Where do you make a difference?

How do you intervene in institutionalized child abuse and the adult aftermath? How do you help someone without yourself being taken over by their need? How do you tell someone that they need professional help in such a way that they take no offense and take action?

It's so difficult to love someone who is in so deep. In observing this, it seems to me that many people who come from this background cannot be thought responsible for their own choices - behavior being so automatically programmed - that they need protection and help, not punishment and recrimination.

And yet, where is the line of personal responsibility - both mine and theirs?

The law of attraction is so clear in observation - meaning, when I am the observer. People's fears express themselves most crisply, in the face of their complete blindness.

How does one use this ability to see for good?

Thursday thoughts

Today was a pretty rugged day from the perspective of appearances.

My mortgage lender went out of business this week. So, we're starting over from scratch. I spent several hours wrestling with a collection agency on a 25 year old account that was resolved years ago. I'll have to hire Mike the lawyer AGAIN. Yurg.

Maybe this time it will ultimately not cost me a bunch of money.

I came home early today to work on some book keeping, and I didn't get a lick of it done.

So, just in case you're wondering why this blog is now invitation only, it's because my former employer MJV cannot seem to stop using the posts in my blog against me. After two such incidents in the last two weeks, I just figured .. it's time for the blog to go private.

I'm just tired. Tired and cranky, I guess. I need to make up the bed, fold up the white laundry and figure out what tomorrow is going to be about.

Tuesday that feels like Monday AGAIN

What's up with all of these holidays? We just barely got everyone back to work from Christmas, and .. poof! Another Monday off.

The weather is rolling in, though.

The desk is all whistle-y clean this afternoon. I brought in more stuff this morning, including my undergrad diploma. It's pretty cool in here in my workspace.

There's still more stuff to bring in from home.

Joshy was by this morning; he brought me some tickets to HGO tomorrow night. He's such a great guy.

About time to head for home; Bram wants to take the "family" to dinner tonight; however, the details are murky.

Pride schmide

So, after who knows how long wandering down the streets of Montrose, the Pride Committee in Houston has finally summoned up the balls to evaluate whether some progress may be appropriate.

In announcing that they were thinking of making Pride a weekend event, moving the thing to a cooler time of year, and moving it downtown, they stirred up a hornet's nest. The "community leaders," most of whom couldn't give a rat's ass about anything other than their own prejudices, have beat the jungle drums and threatened to hold a competing festival.

How Martin Luther King Day of us.

They've been screaming the loudest about how there was inadequate "community input." What community? The A&F boy whores hate the old guys, the leather guys, the bisexuals, the lesbians, and the muscle bound gym rats hate anyone with a chest narrower than 56", the meth heads think everyone's wrong that isn't smoking their brand of kool-aid, and the leather daddies hate everyone who isn't at the Ripcord watching the public displays of sex after midnight. Hate, hate, hate. There is no more fragmented and bigoted collection of self-loathing, self-righteous, opinionated shallow bastards around.

Whoops! Am I bitter again?

Anyway, a guy I know is on the executive committee of the Pride organization, and on Saturday I sent him an email after reading all of this self-aggrandizing nonsense in the Chronicle.

Here's my email:

Here are my thoughts as a member of the "community."


* Just which Montrose area businesses would suffer? The only Montrose area businesses that still support the parade are bars (Armstrong Omniverse, Ripcord, Rich's and BRB) Hollywood (whose business wouldn't be impeded in the slightest and that's about it. Our "gay area" has NEVER had the cohesive retail or commercial environment that has Chicago, San Francisco, Seattle, DC or Dallas.
* The bulk of gay "community" members no longer live in the Montrose. They live in the Heights, in Midtown, in Westbury, all over the place.
* The largest "supporters" of the parade in the last five years have been churches (which will hunt us down no matter where we hold it,) and multi-national corporations (Countrywide, Chase, etc.) They'll follow us wherever.
* The proposal of the pride board would provide us with an even playing field for the other major festivals in town - a downtown parade, and a "fair"
* In large part, attendance at the parade in the last five years has NOT been "community" members, it has included members of the metropolitan population
* Improving the quality of the parade and festival would enhance its appeal
* Creating a fair in the manner of other metropolitan community events would create new sources of revenue for the Pride Committee
* My most important point - it has long been the "goal" of the unfocused gay "community" to be accepted and integrated into the metropolitan population. The proposal set forth by the Pride Committee, in my opinion, would put us on a footing with the other significant metropolitan celebrations. We'd be just another celebration, fully integrated and accepted by the whole. Stroller traffic would increase.
* By setting ourselves on an equal footing with other celebrations, the entire focus of the celebration would be on the content and the presentation to create its distinguishing nature. I think that is a very good thing.
* Security would be dramatically enhanced by the Committee's proposal.
* Parking would be greatly improved by the Committee's proposal.
* Attendance would increase, and out of town attendance would increase. Frankly, how the farck are we supposed to compete with Chicago, San Francisco and New York for pride on the same weekend? Dallas does VERY well with their fall Pride celebration.
* Change is ALWAYS resisted. However, the only universal non-changing constant is that everything WILL change.

I am very pleased with the committee's proposal, and I hope it is implemented without fear or concern.

My friend just wrote me that he was so thankful for my opinion. They're all wondering who dropped the poppers in the punch bowl, as it was NO SECRET AT ALL WHAT THEY WERE THINKING. Hell, I knew about it, and I'm about as disconnected with fagdom as you can get.

I'm the only Houston homo who hadn't tipped John II in his speedo, after all.

Here's the sum of the opposition's complaint:

Dear Members of the Board of Pride Houston :

I regret that a long-planned trip keeps me from being with you in person today, but I am writing to express my opposition to any proposal to move the location and date of the Houston Pride Parade. The parade was born in Montrose, has grown with Montrose, and every year explodes with pride in Montrose. Please do not risk the irreparable damage that could come from moving our parade from the one place all GLBT Houstonians can call home.

Two days ago, a group of people from our community came together at the GLBT Community Center and formed People Opposed to Moving Our Parade Out of Montrose (POMPOM). Today, you will receive a list of our points opposing the moving of our parade. Among the attendees were 8 former Pride Marshals and many leaders and representatives of local organizations and businesses. I wish you all would have been there. I cannot imagine anyone being a part of the outpouring of emotion in that packed room who would still favor moving our parade.

Montrose is where our community’s soul resides. These are the streets that nurtured us and taught us to be strong and proud even as we endured demoralizing raids and arrests and saw our loved ones perish from heinous acts of hatred or our own government’s horrid neglect. These are the streets where we first overcame the fear of performing the most mundane of acts like dining with our partners or holding their hands in public. These are the streets where our heroes, like Ray Hill, Pokey Anderson, Gary Van Ooteghem, Phyllis Randolph Frye, Jack Valinski, and so many others planned, fought, and won the battles that give us countless reasons to be proud and carry on their legacy. Despite decades of efforts to rebuild, redefine, redevelop, or redistrict the Montrose we know into oblivion, the colors of the rainbow continue to shine proudly in this resilient, remarkable neighborhood and never more so than at our parade. Pride Houston should lead the effort to embrace and reconfirm Montrose as our home, educate the world on our amazing history, and leave our parade where it belongs.

I am thankful for the job Pride Houston has done in making our parade such a success, and I know you want to fulfill your obligation to do what is best. You will do so if you vote against this ill-advised proposal to move our parade.

WMF, or for those of you who don't know the gay lingo - "Whatever, Mary Francis."

Linkage time - a fabulous discussion of why the email making the conservative rounds about what one should expect from the Democrats' possession of the House of Great Mischief and Theft (fka the United States Congress) will bring. Yes, it's long. But you can come back to it if you get that stupid email.