Still with the Nick horsehockey. Nick's called several times today, and then sent a text that "he sees how it is now. Thanks."
So, after detecting that he'd get no further support from me and ceasing our communication, why is he now trying to manage how I feel about him? What's the upside for him?
Anyway - The further I get away from having bois around, the more I want to be away from it.
DJHJD
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Monday, January 16, 2006
The proof is in the pudding
“As the world's leading voting solutions
provider, Diebold provides the financial
stability, substantial manufacturing capacity,
world-wide service network and proven
election expertise needed for your long term
election system solution.”
-- http://diebold.com/solutions
“Some 33,000 Diebold voting stations are
being used simultaneously in locations
across the United States to assist voters in
exercising their most fundamental
constitutional right: The right to vote.”
-- http://diebold.com/dieboldes
Deceptive sales and marketing
Fw: Battery Status & Charging---and too much bull!!
To:
Subject: Fw: Battery Status & Charging---and too much bull!!
From: "Mike"
Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2001 10:57:40 -0500
It does not matter whether we get anything certified or not, if we can't even get the foundation of Global stable.
This company is a mess! We should stop development on all new, and old products and concentrate on making them stable instead of showing vaporware. Selling a new account will only load more crap on an already over burdened entity.
Everyone is waiting for Diebold to come and save us. What do you think Diebold will say when they see what a mess everything is, or more to the point what Global has not shown them, or maybe it will not matter at that time, hmmm...
Every time I look at the support list there is another sales person or manager screaming we can't go forward without having to fix this or to fix that. You are taxing the development team beyond what they can handle. This is not there problem, it is yours.
Elections are not rocket science. Why is it so hard to get things right! I have never been at any other company that has been so miss managed. I see blame being put on anything that moves.
Communication does not exist! All I here from upper management is "That’s fine, he or she will be removed".
Upper management seems to think they know what is going on. They are to caught up in to much politics, and to much self importance, to even realize that there are employees watching them, waiting for some direction... We have allot of bright people in Global, why is it so hard to get things right....
I just received a call from Ingrid, she says she is tired of getting calls from clients asking for help. No one at Global is giving them the time of day. Ingrid is the only name I will use in this conversation. I have had calls from other ex-employees stating the same thing.
We have a management team that is so redundant, it is pathetic, and yet we don't have enough employees to get the work done. Wake up! We keep loosing good people, and yet management does not see this, or more to the point, "just keep everything going, Diebold is coming and everything will be fine". Bull!!
My views are my views only. If you wish to fire me for speaking the truth, bring it on... or fix this crap. The employees of this company are watching, waiting to see if you are the leaders that will keep them going, or the pathetic fools that will drive this company into the ground. I believe Global has great products, great ideas, great
people, just get things right and we will be the best.
Take care all.
Mike Brown.
To: Global Election Systems
From: Brian Clubb
RE: Resignation
5 October 2001
For the past three years I have worked for Spectrum then Global. Over that time I have become increasingly concerned about the apparent lack of concern over the practice of writing contracts to provide products and services which do not exist and then attempting to build these items on an unreasonable timetable with no written plan, little to no time for testing, and minimal resources. It also seems to be an
accepted practice to exaggerate our progress and functionality to our customers and ourselves then make excuses at delivery time when these products and services do not meet expectations. The pressure to meet these deadlines and deal with repeated calls from sales staff and customers trying to ascertain actual progress versus exaggerated reports has become intolerable. The resulting stress has had a very negative effect
on me both mentally and physically.
As internal politics and mismanagement continue to divert attention and resources away from these issues, the problems become further and further entrenched. Since the acquisition of Spectrum by Global, none of the personal or workplace benefits which the employees of Spectrum were promised have yet been realized.
This, in addition to the above issues, leads me to conclude that management is not concerned for the employees.
Either they do not value the contributions of the employees, or are incapable of fulfilling these promises. Thus, seeing no end to this troubling situation, I find no other option but to end my employment with the company effective immediately.
Signed,
Brian Clubb
(Signed and submitted via fax to HR 10/5/2001)
Uncertified versions of software have been used in elections
· To: "Support"
· Subject: Florida Certified Versions
· From: "Greg Forsythe"
· Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2000 11:12:02 -0500
· Organization: Global Election Systems, Inc
Just received a call from Beverly Hill, Alachua County. She has a survey form from the state regarding versions and things. She is at the SA screen and the version is 1.92-15.
Saturday, Feb. 12 she created a screen test database. This copy has 1.92-14. 1.92-14
is certified, 1.92-15 is not. SOLUTION REQUIRED! Greg Forsythe
To:
Subject: Re: Florida Certified Versions
From: "Greg Forsythe"
Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2000 12:55:09 -0500
Organization: Global Election Systems, Inc
References: <007301bf7961$cda9d030$cdbb2fd1@greg
Hernando's original database installed with Gunzip shows 1.92-09. Their copy has
1.92-14. It appears that when the database is gunzipped from the original diskette it
carries the version from the source. When a copy is made on the customer's computer
the version relates to the version the customer's computer programmed for. Solution
might be to make the copy the official database showing the correct version.
Comments .....
· To:
· Subject: Re: Florida Certified Versions
· From: "Nel Finberg"
· Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2000 10:09:56 -0800
You are correct. However, Hernando's database should technically have been compiled
using patch 14, not patch 9. We do want to make sure that ballots have been successfully tested and memory cards uploaded, particulary given the initial version conflict. It would be a good idea to get rid of the original diskette in order to remove the perception of version conflicts.
Nel
· To: "SUPPORT (E-mail)"
· Subject: 1-17-7-5 testing
· From: "Tari Runyan"
· Date: Mon, 23 Oct 2000 08:21:16 -0600
I have tested this version to the extent I am able - twice even and unless anyone
else has discovered anything - i think it can be released to the Ca Counties - Let
me know if anyone else has any concerns as I would like to get this out this morning.
Thank you
Election results are stored without
password protection, and this is by
design because some counties have
directly edited election results
To:
Subject: RE: alteration of Audit Log in Access
From: "Ken Clark"
Date: Thu, 18 Oct 2001 09:55:02 -0700
Importance: Normal
In-reply-to:
Its a tough question, and it has a lot to do with perception. Of course everyone knows perception is reality.
Right now you can open GEMS' .mdb file with MS-Access, and alter its contents. That
includes the audit log. This isn't anything new. In VTS, you can open the database with progress and do the same. The same would go for anyone else's system using whatever database they are using. Hard drives are read-write entities. You can change their contents.
Now, where the perception comes in is that its right now very *easy* to change the
contents. Double click the .mdb file. Even technical wizards at Metamor (or Ciber, or
whatever) can figure that one out.
It is possible to put a secret password on the .mdb file to prevent Metamor from
opening it with Access. I've threatened to put a password on the .mdb before
when dealers/customers/support have done stupid things with the GEMS
database structure using Access. Being able to end-run the database has
admittedly got people out of a bind though. Jane (I think it was Jane) did some
fancy footwork on the .mdb file in Gaston recently. I know our dealers do it.
King County is famous for it. That's why we've never put a password on the file
before.
Note however that even if we put a password on the file, it doesn't really prove much.
Someone has to know the password, else how would GEMS open it. So this technically
brings us back to square one: the audit log is modifiable by that person at least (read, me). Back to perception though, if you don't bring this up you might skate through Metamor.
There might be some clever crypto techniques to make it even harder to change the log
(for me, they guy with the password that is). We're talking big changes here though, and at the moment largely theoretical ones. I'd doubt that any of our competitors are that clever.
By the way, all of this is why Texas gets its sh*t in a knot over the log printer. Log printers are not read-write, so you don't have the problem. Of course if I were Texas I would be more worried about modifications to our electronic ballots than to our electron logs, but that is another story I guess.
Bottom line on Metamor is to find out what it is going to take to make them happy. You can try the old standard of the NT password gains access to the operating system, and that after that point all bets are off. You have to trust the person with the NT password at least. This is all about Florida, and we have had VTS certified in Florida under the status quo for nearly ten years.
I sense a loosing battle here though. The changes to put a password on the .mdb file are not trivial and probably not even backward compatible, but we'll do it if that is what it is going to take.
Ken
Anyone with a blank memory card can
modify results on a voting machine
Spyrus creating unauthorized Manager Cards
* To: "Bug Track"
* Subject: Spyrus creating unauthorized Manager Cards
* From: "Steve Ricke"
* Date: Thu, 17 Jan 2002 11:49:10 -0600
* Importance: Normal
4K Smart cards which had never been previously programmed are being recognized by the Card Manager as manager cards.
When a virgin card from CardLogix is inserted into a Spyrus (have tried CM-0-2-9 and CM-1-1-1) the prompt "Upgrade Mgr Card?" is displayed. Pressing the ENTER key creates a valid manager card.
This happens in Admin mode and Election mode.
The only way which I have found to avoid this situation is to initiate the
card by creating it as a voter card with an AVTS unit (any version). Once a
card has been programmed once it will work correctly for any election.
Will overnight a batch of virgin cards to Vancouver. Please let me know
the amount you may need.
Stephen Ricke
Global Election Systems
Phone: 972-542-6000
Fax: 972-542-6044
Email: Steve@GESN.com
Audit logs judged undesireable
-----Original Message-----
From: Jeff Hintz [mailto:jhglobal@earthlink.net]
Sent: Sunday, December 09, 2001 11:03 AM
To: Support Team (E-mail)
Subject: Status of Audit Lor RCR for Johnson County, KS
What is the status of this RCR??? I was doing training in Johnson County, KS last
Thursday & Friday, and they wanted to know.
Thanks,
Jeff
Jurisidiction: Johnson County, KS & All Accounts
Date Requested: November 16, 2001
Date Required: Before their Primary Election in March 2002
Johnson County, KS will be doing Central Count for their mail in ballots. They will also be processing these ballots in advance of the closing of polls on election day. They would like to log into the Audit Log an entry for Previewing any Election Total Reports. They need this, to prove to the media, as well as, any candidates & lawyers, that they did not view or print any Election Results before the Polls closed.
However, if there is a way that we can disable the reporting functionality, that
would be even better.
provider, Diebold provides the financial
stability, substantial manufacturing capacity,
world-wide service network and proven
election expertise needed for your long term
election system solution.”
-- http://diebold.com/solutions
“Some 33,000 Diebold voting stations are
being used simultaneously in locations
across the United States to assist voters in
exercising their most fundamental
constitutional right: The right to vote.”
-- http://diebold.com/dieboldes
Deceptive sales and marketing
Fw: Battery Status & Charging---and too much bull!!
To:
Subject: Fw: Battery Status & Charging---and too much bull!!
From: "Mike"
Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2001 10:57:40 -0500
It does not matter whether we get anything certified or not, if we can't even get the foundation of Global stable.
This company is a mess! We should stop development on all new, and old products and concentrate on making them stable instead of showing vaporware. Selling a new account will only load more crap on an already over burdened entity.
Everyone is waiting for Diebold to come and save us. What do you think Diebold will say when they see what a mess everything is, or more to the point what Global has not shown them, or maybe it will not matter at that time, hmmm...
Every time I look at the support list there is another sales person or manager screaming we can't go forward without having to fix this or to fix that. You are taxing the development team beyond what they can handle. This is not there problem, it is yours.
Elections are not rocket science. Why is it so hard to get things right! I have never been at any other company that has been so miss managed. I see blame being put on anything that moves.
Communication does not exist! All I here from upper management is "That’s fine, he or she will be removed".
Upper management seems to think they know what is going on. They are to caught up in to much politics, and to much self importance, to even realize that there are employees watching them, waiting for some direction... We have allot of bright people in Global, why is it so hard to get things right....
I just received a call from Ingrid, she says she is tired of getting calls from clients asking for help. No one at Global is giving them the time of day. Ingrid is the only name I will use in this conversation. I have had calls from other ex-employees stating the same thing.
We have a management team that is so redundant, it is pathetic, and yet we don't have enough employees to get the work done. Wake up! We keep loosing good people, and yet management does not see this, or more to the point, "just keep everything going, Diebold is coming and everything will be fine". Bull!!
My views are my views only. If you wish to fire me for speaking the truth, bring it on... or fix this crap. The employees of this company are watching, waiting to see if you are the leaders that will keep them going, or the pathetic fools that will drive this company into the ground. I believe Global has great products, great ideas, great
people, just get things right and we will be the best.
Take care all.
Mike Brown.
To: Global Election Systems
From: Brian Clubb
RE: Resignation
5 October 2001
For the past three years I have worked for Spectrum then Global. Over that time I have become increasingly concerned about the apparent lack of concern over the practice of writing contracts to provide products and services which do not exist and then attempting to build these items on an unreasonable timetable with no written plan, little to no time for testing, and minimal resources. It also seems to be an
accepted practice to exaggerate our progress and functionality to our customers and ourselves then make excuses at delivery time when these products and services do not meet expectations. The pressure to meet these deadlines and deal with repeated calls from sales staff and customers trying to ascertain actual progress versus exaggerated reports has become intolerable. The resulting stress has had a very negative effect
on me both mentally and physically.
As internal politics and mismanagement continue to divert attention and resources away from these issues, the problems become further and further entrenched. Since the acquisition of Spectrum by Global, none of the personal or workplace benefits which the employees of Spectrum were promised have yet been realized.
This, in addition to the above issues, leads me to conclude that management is not concerned for the employees.
Either they do not value the contributions of the employees, or are incapable of fulfilling these promises. Thus, seeing no end to this troubling situation, I find no other option but to end my employment with the company effective immediately.
Signed,
Brian Clubb
(Signed and submitted via fax to HR 10/5/2001)
Uncertified versions of software have been used in elections
· To: "Support"
· Subject: Florida Certified Versions
· From: "Greg Forsythe"
· Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2000 11:12:02 -0500
· Organization: Global Election Systems, Inc
Just received a call from Beverly Hill, Alachua County. She has a survey form from the state regarding versions and things. She is at the SA screen and the version is 1.92-15.
Saturday, Feb. 12 she created a screen test database. This copy has 1.92-14. 1.92-14
is certified, 1.92-15 is not. SOLUTION REQUIRED! Greg Forsythe
To:
Subject: Re: Florida Certified Versions
From: "Greg Forsythe"
Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2000 12:55:09 -0500
Organization: Global Election Systems, Inc
References: <007301bf7961$cda9d030$cdbb2fd1@greg
Hernando's original database installed with Gunzip shows 1.92-09. Their copy has
1.92-14. It appears that when the database is gunzipped from the original diskette it
carries the version from the source. When a copy is made on the customer's computer
the version relates to the version the customer's computer programmed for. Solution
might be to make the copy the official database showing the correct version.
Comments .....
· To:
· Subject: Re: Florida Certified Versions
· From: "Nel Finberg"
· Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2000 10:09:56 -0800
You are correct. However, Hernando's database should technically have been compiled
using patch 14, not patch 9. We do want to make sure that ballots have been successfully tested and memory cards uploaded, particulary given the initial version conflict. It would be a good idea to get rid of the original diskette in order to remove the perception of version conflicts.
Nel
· To: "SUPPORT (E-mail)"
· Subject: 1-17-7-5 testing
· From: "Tari Runyan"
· Date: Mon, 23 Oct 2000 08:21:16 -0600
I have tested this version to the extent I am able - twice even and unless anyone
else has discovered anything - i think it can be released to the Ca Counties - Let
me know if anyone else has any concerns as I would like to get this out this morning.
Thank you
Election results are stored without
password protection, and this is by
design because some counties have
directly edited election results
To:
Subject: RE: alteration of Audit Log in Access
From: "Ken Clark"
Date: Thu, 18 Oct 2001 09:55:02 -0700
Importance: Normal
In-reply-to:
Its a tough question, and it has a lot to do with perception. Of course everyone knows perception is reality.
Right now you can open GEMS' .mdb file with MS-Access, and alter its contents. That
includes the audit log. This isn't anything new. In VTS, you can open the database with progress and do the same. The same would go for anyone else's system using whatever database they are using. Hard drives are read-write entities. You can change their contents.
Now, where the perception comes in is that its right now very *easy* to change the
contents. Double click the .mdb file. Even technical wizards at Metamor (or Ciber, or
whatever) can figure that one out.
It is possible to put a secret password on the .mdb file to prevent Metamor from
opening it with Access. I've threatened to put a password on the .mdb before
when dealers/customers/support have done stupid things with the GEMS
database structure using Access. Being able to end-run the database has
admittedly got people out of a bind though. Jane (I think it was Jane) did some
fancy footwork on the .mdb file in Gaston recently. I know our dealers do it.
King County is famous for it. That's why we've never put a password on the file
before.
Note however that even if we put a password on the file, it doesn't really prove much.
Someone has to know the password, else how would GEMS open it. So this technically
brings us back to square one: the audit log is modifiable by that person at least (read, me). Back to perception though, if you don't bring this up you might skate through Metamor.
There might be some clever crypto techniques to make it even harder to change the log
(for me, they guy with the password that is). We're talking big changes here though, and at the moment largely theoretical ones. I'd doubt that any of our competitors are that clever.
By the way, all of this is why Texas gets its sh*t in a knot over the log printer. Log printers are not read-write, so you don't have the problem. Of course if I were Texas I would be more worried about modifications to our electronic ballots than to our electron logs, but that is another story I guess.
Bottom line on Metamor is to find out what it is going to take to make them happy. You can try the old standard of the NT password gains access to the operating system, and that after that point all bets are off. You have to trust the person with the NT password at least. This is all about Florida, and we have had VTS certified in Florida under the status quo for nearly ten years.
I sense a loosing battle here though. The changes to put a password on the .mdb file are not trivial and probably not even backward compatible, but we'll do it if that is what it is going to take.
Ken
Anyone with a blank memory card can
modify results on a voting machine
Spyrus creating unauthorized Manager Cards
* To: "Bug Track"
* Subject: Spyrus creating unauthorized Manager Cards
* From: "Steve Ricke"
* Date: Thu, 17 Jan 2002 11:49:10 -0600
* Importance: Normal
4K Smart cards which had never been previously programmed are being recognized by the Card Manager as manager cards.
When a virgin card from CardLogix is inserted into a Spyrus (have tried CM-0-2-9 and CM-1-1-1) the prompt "Upgrade Mgr Card?" is displayed. Pressing the ENTER key creates a valid manager card.
This happens in Admin mode and Election mode.
The only way which I have found to avoid this situation is to initiate the
card by creating it as a voter card with an AVTS unit (any version). Once a
card has been programmed once it will work correctly for any election.
Will overnight a batch of virgin cards to Vancouver. Please let me know
the amount you may need.
Stephen Ricke
Global Election Systems
Phone: 972-542-6000
Fax: 972-542-6044
Email: Steve@GESN.com
Audit logs judged undesireable
-----Original Message-----
From: Jeff Hintz [mailto:jhglobal@earthlink.net]
Sent: Sunday, December 09, 2001 11:03 AM
To: Support Team (E-mail)
Subject: Status of Audit Lor RCR for Johnson County, KS
What is the status of this RCR??? I was doing training in Johnson County, KS last
Thursday & Friday, and they wanted to know.
Thanks,
Jeff
Jurisidiction: Johnson County, KS & All Accounts
Date Requested: November 16, 2001
Date Required: Before their Primary Election in March 2002
Johnson County, KS will be doing Central Count for their mail in ballots. They will also be processing these ballots in advance of the closing of polls on election day. They would like to log into the Audit Log an entry for Previewing any Election Total Reports. They need this, to prove to the media, as well as, any candidates & lawyers, that they did not view or print any Election Results before the Polls closed.
However, if there is a way that we can disable the reporting functionality, that
would be even better.
Monday, Monday ver. 661.01
Ah, a rainy, peaceful, very quiet Martin Luther King Jr. day ..
One more mass of paperwork to sort through today; I’ve gotten most of what’s on my list for today done already.
I have planned to FINALLY complete my vision poster for 2006 tonight. I have everything over behind me, waiting to go up on the board. Glue stick at the ready. Sheesh. Can’t believe it’s taking me this long. Then, I have to figure out WHERE I’m going to put it. Blah.
Had an amusing exchange with Nick today, by accident. I was talking to Carlos, who intended to share with me an email he had sent to Nick for my amusement. I read it, and replied – I thought – to Carlos, and it went, of course, to Nick. Which I find hilarious.
Today, for the first time in a long time, Nick called, IM’d and emailed. He wants to know who my comments are directed toward. Hello? Person most in need of a clue?
Here’s what I said:
I'm just going to sit here and say nothing.
Okay, f%*k it - you deserve better. WAAY better. Like someone with an education, a career, moral standards, nasty, fulfilling sex and who adores you 24/7, not just when it's Manipulation Monday.
Of course, I was saying this to Carlos.
So, Nick – I don’t need to have my beads read by a 28 year old, chronically unemployed, uneducated manipulator. I don’t need to hear you tell me over the phone that you’re upset, or you’re angry, or you’re hurt – because I don’t think you have feelings, except as a tool to manipulate the persons around you to get what you want. A person who actually had feelings wouldn’t behave in the way I’ve observed you behave – without jumping off a bridge from self-loathing.
Carlos, whom you long portayed as a psychotic stalker, seems to be an erudite, thoughtful, considerate man who can carry on conversations about things that don’t involve you. He remembers what a person is thinking about, working on, concerned about – and then he asks questions to learn how things are going with the other person. He gives thought to the experience of the people he interacts with. This is something I’ve never witnessed in you since we met in person.
So – go on about your merry way, and Godspeed. I have no further use for discussion with you, as it will add nothing to my life.
End of open letter to Nick.
One more mass of paperwork to sort through today; I’ve gotten most of what’s on my list for today done already.
I have planned to FINALLY complete my vision poster for 2006 tonight. I have everything over behind me, waiting to go up on the board. Glue stick at the ready. Sheesh. Can’t believe it’s taking me this long. Then, I have to figure out WHERE I’m going to put it. Blah.
Had an amusing exchange with Nick today, by accident. I was talking to Carlos, who intended to share with me an email he had sent to Nick for my amusement. I read it, and replied – I thought – to Carlos, and it went, of course, to Nick. Which I find hilarious.
Today, for the first time in a long time, Nick called, IM’d and emailed. He wants to know who my comments are directed toward. Hello? Person most in need of a clue?
Here’s what I said:
I'm just going to sit here and say nothing.
Okay, f%*k it - you deserve better. WAAY better. Like someone with an education, a career, moral standards, nasty, fulfilling sex and who adores you 24/7, not just when it's Manipulation Monday.
Of course, I was saying this to Carlos.
So, Nick – I don’t need to have my beads read by a 28 year old, chronically unemployed, uneducated manipulator. I don’t need to hear you tell me over the phone that you’re upset, or you’re angry, or you’re hurt – because I don’t think you have feelings, except as a tool to manipulate the persons around you to get what you want. A person who actually had feelings wouldn’t behave in the way I’ve observed you behave – without jumping off a bridge from self-loathing.
Carlos, whom you long portayed as a psychotic stalker, seems to be an erudite, thoughtful, considerate man who can carry on conversations about things that don’t involve you. He remembers what a person is thinking about, working on, concerned about – and then he asks questions to learn how things are going with the other person. He gives thought to the experience of the people he interacts with. This is something I’ve never witnessed in you since we met in person.
So – go on about your merry way, and Godspeed. I have no further use for discussion with you, as it will add nothing to my life.
End of open letter to Nick.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Sunday - the day before MLK day
Church today was something else. I drove down there rather scattered. I had my morning started with the intention of working on some paperwork AND getting ready for church, and I was sticking my head in the sand with respect to what and how I was going to say .. whatever. The topic and material was quite well established - it was a matter of how I was going to approach it.
I had already pulled together video cable, the candle plate I bought at Pier One, the Play-Doh, my books .. and so I drove Ruby down there with the stuff. Got there in record time, and started cabling, candling, and getting ready. In pops a brand-new guy, who wanted to ask questions - and I'm trying to mark my reference materials for my discussion. Urk. Eighteen people drift in; some old, two new .. as things wrapped up, a guy walked in and told us that he went to the Unitarian church nearby, but wasn't happy. He told me what it was he wanted and it was clear he had come to the right place. So, we talked about SOM for a while, and the things he didn't like about the Unis, and he says he has SIX friends that he thinks will come along with him if he likes it at NV.
So, after the crowd nattered for another half hour, we talked about where we were going to put everyone - 18 chairs of 24 is pretty full! So, we moved some things around, and now have thirty-nine chairs in the church.
I worked with Lisa after we cleaned everything up, and checked my voice mail for the first time - and found Chuck had wanted to go with me! That would have been 19!
I worked with Lisa a long while today; I was very clear that we'd be working on my weight issue. That dredged up a whole TON of old feelings, beliefs, and so on - it just went on and on - wave after wave of memories, and clarity in how I formed such powerful, negative self-beliefs. I was drained. But, I can feel a difference somewhat already.
Lisa says this will take lots and lots more work. Urk.
Came home, made a huge salad, took a nap, worked on the paperwork I wanted to finish in the morning, and have been screwing around on the net since. I'm trying to decide if tonight will be a movie night or not. I think it just could be.
I've had Travis on the mind a lot lately. A lot a lot. I'm resisting.
I had already pulled together video cable, the candle plate I bought at Pier One, the Play-Doh, my books .. and so I drove Ruby down there with the stuff. Got there in record time, and started cabling, candling, and getting ready. In pops a brand-new guy, who wanted to ask questions - and I'm trying to mark my reference materials for my discussion. Urk. Eighteen people drift in; some old, two new .. as things wrapped up, a guy walked in and told us that he went to the Unitarian church nearby, but wasn't happy. He told me what it was he wanted and it was clear he had come to the right place. So, we talked about SOM for a while, and the things he didn't like about the Unis, and he says he has SIX friends that he thinks will come along with him if he likes it at NV.
So, after the crowd nattered for another half hour, we talked about where we were going to put everyone - 18 chairs of 24 is pretty full! So, we moved some things around, and now have thirty-nine chairs in the church.
I worked with Lisa after we cleaned everything up, and checked my voice mail for the first time - and found Chuck had wanted to go with me! That would have been 19!
I worked with Lisa a long while today; I was very clear that we'd be working on my weight issue. That dredged up a whole TON of old feelings, beliefs, and so on - it just went on and on - wave after wave of memories, and clarity in how I formed such powerful, negative self-beliefs. I was drained. But, I can feel a difference somewhat already.
Lisa says this will take lots and lots more work. Urk.
Came home, made a huge salad, took a nap, worked on the paperwork I wanted to finish in the morning, and have been screwing around on the net since. I'm trying to decide if tonight will be a movie night or not. I think it just could be.
I've had Travis on the mind a lot lately. A lot a lot. I'm resisting.
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