Have brekkie with CP in just 90 minutes; getting my several things together to meet with him about. I can't find TWO of the documents that I intended to bring to him; urk.
Okay, that's handled. About to hop into the shower and work on getting over to meet CP, then I have to come back here and do a WHOLE mess of loan processing. Teaching tonight at San Jac, which is actually FUN, as compared to what it was over the summer.
DJHJD
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Monday, September 19, 2005
Monday, Monday, ver 642.01
I need another cocktail. I'm talking to the hooker on instant messenger. He's telling me the story. He says he's willing to give up hooking and partying and get a day job if I'll take him in.
Have I ever been lied to or played by a man before? Hm.
Had dinner with BuhZilly tonight. I love him.
Have I ever been lied to or played by a man before? Hm.
Had dinner with BuhZilly tonight. I love him.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
What ever happened to Walt Disney?
I finally watched the PBS documentary on Islam. That DVD came in the day after Philip moved back home. I'm having New Vision watch it on Friday night, then it can go back to Netflix. Also watched part of a movie that the Minx recommended. It was so TOTALLY not my thing; I shut it off. Now, it's time to do a little blogging, take the mutts out one last time and see how much sleep occurs tonight.
Not a word out of the hooker. I'm going to put his travel bag in a closet tomorrow, assuming that he's still MIA. Maybe he's in jail; my gut tells me that he's riding the wagon train of whoever he picked up last night, and that party favors are involved.
T claims to have broken up with Aliver. Again. Frankly, I don't care to hear about it. At least he didn't ask me if he could move in with me again.
Day one of having no online presence in the gay world. Well, except for GFN.com.
Called L this morning; that was an unsatisfactory conversation. I guess I'll let it go another month or two before calling again.
Cleaned Ruby up this morning, and was surprised at how crappy her paint is looking. Door dings, scrapes, all kinds of imperfections. I'm wondering when the new XM unit for Ruby will arrive.
Ah, look - the hooker is on gay.com. Not saying anything to me, though.
I'm more and more convinced that I must take a complete break from male interaction until I have my shit handled.
Not a word out of the hooker. I'm going to put his travel bag in a closet tomorrow, assuming that he's still MIA. Maybe he's in jail; my gut tells me that he's riding the wagon train of whoever he picked up last night, and that party favors are involved.
T claims to have broken up with Aliver. Again. Frankly, I don't care to hear about it. At least he didn't ask me if he could move in with me again.
Day one of having no online presence in the gay world. Well, except for GFN.com.
Called L this morning; that was an unsatisfactory conversation. I guess I'll let it go another month or two before calling again.
Cleaned Ruby up this morning, and was surprised at how crappy her paint is looking. Door dings, scrapes, all kinds of imperfections. I'm wondering when the new XM unit for Ruby will arrive.
Ah, look - the hooker is on gay.com. Not saying anything to me, though.
I'm more and more convinced that I must take a complete break from male interaction until I have my shit handled.
Sunday - have I been thinking, or just re-visiting?
So, another mostly sleepless night. Everything started off pretty well, with taking the Hookah over to Mikey's new apartment. Came back home, and he wanted to go check out EJ's. EJ's was .. empty. So, he wanted to come back here. About sixty seconds after coming in the door, he asked if he could use the computer - he fired up the webcam, and started chatting his head off. I read for a while, then went to bed.
About 12:30, he comes in and wakes me up, telling me some guy from Baytown is going to drive in to pick him up and have sex with him for money. At around 1:00, he comes in to tell me he's not leaving. Then, at 1:30, he comes in to ask what the address is so this OTHER guy can come pick him up. He wants a key. I lied and said there were no extras. He wants to move in; I haven't discussed it. I did ask him if he was planning on operating his little show while he's visiting here (until Tuesday,) he says "no," which I don't believe at all.
He's still not home. I'm going to finish this cup of coffee, go outside and clean up the car, then it's shower time and off to church by way of Wal-Mart and Office Depot. I can't get to church TOO early, as Joe Di never returned my key. However, if he's not here in the next 90 minutes, he's going to have to deal with it.
He wants me to take him to dinner, and to LA next weekend. Why would I do such a thing? I'm thinking of telling him he needs to go back to Pasadena today after church. I don't need any support for feeling bad about myself in dating environments.
This morning, after I arose at 05:18, I deleted all of my profiles from any online dating sites of any nature. Whoops - I just realized that I forgot one. I have to get away from putting my hopes out there to further validate my negative beliefs about my desireability. Right now, I'm thinking that it could be better for me, emotionally, to not step into that arena again. WAY better, in fact. To have no one because I'm not participating is a different feeling than to be constantly rejected and derided.
Quoted from a gay.com profile I just saw:
Speaking of vodka, I need to buy a bunch of it.
Had a terrific meeting with Ryan yesterday; he's going to source my Fabulair photo shoot for me in New York while he's there this week. So, in a few days' time, he's rescued my Fabulair project from the crapper.
I guess it's time to work on cleaning up the car, then to shower and head out.
About 12:30, he comes in and wakes me up, telling me some guy from Baytown is going to drive in to pick him up and have sex with him for money. At around 1:00, he comes in to tell me he's not leaving. Then, at 1:30, he comes in to ask what the address is so this OTHER guy can come pick him up. He wants a key. I lied and said there were no extras. He wants to move in; I haven't discussed it. I did ask him if he was planning on operating his little show while he's visiting here (until Tuesday,) he says "no," which I don't believe at all.
He's still not home. I'm going to finish this cup of coffee, go outside and clean up the car, then it's shower time and off to church by way of Wal-Mart and Office Depot. I can't get to church TOO early, as Joe Di never returned my key. However, if he's not here in the next 90 minutes, he's going to have to deal with it.
He wants me to take him to dinner, and to LA next weekend. Why would I do such a thing? I'm thinking of telling him he needs to go back to Pasadena today after church. I don't need any support for feeling bad about myself in dating environments.
This morning, after I arose at 05:18, I deleted all of my profiles from any online dating sites of any nature. Whoops - I just realized that I forgot one. I have to get away from putting my hopes out there to further validate my negative beliefs about my desireability. Right now, I'm thinking that it could be better for me, emotionally, to not step into that arena again. WAY better, in fact. To have no one because I'm not participating is a different feeling than to be constantly rejected and derided.
Quoted from a gay.com profile I just saw:
If you are single and life keeps giving you lemons, make lemonade. The key is to find someone whose life keeps giving them Vodka.
Speaking of vodka, I need to buy a bunch of it.
Had a terrific meeting with Ryan yesterday; he's going to source my Fabulair photo shoot for me in New York while he's there this week. So, in a few days' time, he's rescued my Fabulair project from the crapper.
I guess it's time to work on cleaning up the car, then to shower and head out.
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