Packapalooza and moving

A successful day at packing. About 90% packed up. Only those things in the kitchen, bathrooms and the ever important home theater that remain to be boxed or stacked up. Plus, clothing, which can go into the back seat of the car for a quick trip.

Barney has nearly completely fallen apart physically. He's barely able to walk, he's started drooling, and he's in obvious discomfort, as opposed to his previous interest, curiousity and openess. John has agreed to take him to the SPCA on Monday to be put down.

Had Babs over today to help pack - she hadn't been here in about six months. I was very glad to have her help.

Tomorrow, after church, it's clean-up packing. The last few things to be ready to put everything on the truck. Which truck I haven't yet arranged for....

So many things to be done yet. Call all the utility companies, all the mail forwarding and address changes. Oof.

I think I'll be spending substantially all of this week doing this. Wow. Amazing how much time this is going to take. Amazing that I've been in this house for almost 11 months. Today, as Babs was here, I was reflecting on how much I've done, spent and generated in getting this house to a position that it's just as liveable as it is now.

As we sat here in the living room today eating lunch, we could hear the squirrels in the ceiling over my bathroom. Craziness.

Rescue Rangers

I'm writing this as I listen to more of Bryan's head banging music at work. Lovely.

This morning, another piece hit me in the head - standing out in front of my house (at the age of five) with no options, no facilities, no resources - my father pulled up, like a white knight (in a red Plymouth) and I was carried off.

Since then, I think I keep looking outside myself to find rescue. And, I seem to have believed that rescuing someone was a great way to show them my affection and be accepted.

I've had some rescue ranger experiences, and I've had some that were, but didn't feel or look so much like it. Jackie, for instance, was a rescue - literally from the streets. Barney was a rescue from a certain death as a litter runt. Blah, blah.

So, in trying to buy this house, I've been waiting for someone to whisk up in a red Plymouth and handle it. And, at the same time, I've been expected to handle all of it by myself. Today, I resolved to handle what there was in my power to handle and to cast aside the rest.

This has led to some very interesting conversations and realizations.

I must say that I'm not sure exactly how this is going to be resolved. However, I've declared an end to being the Rescue Ranger. People can ask me where to go to get rescued, but they won't be able to count on me to do it for them, outside of the stuff that's normal - flat tires, missed airplanes and that sort of thing.

No more "I'm out in the car - and I want you to look up such and such on the computer." No more "my life sucks - how do I fix it" and then the exact behavior over and over.

Nope. I've started getting very direct with people this week, telling them what doesn't work about their behavior. I'm going totally Lisa with it. For those of you who don't know Lisa, that would go like this .. "Oh, thanks for the offer. However, you never keep your word, so I'm going to make other arrangements." Or, "why would you tell me something like that when we both know that you're just saying it to feel good right now, and when it comes down to the doing of it, you won't come through?" Or "The reason I don't want to spend time with you or talk to you on the phone is because you only require someone to occupy space; you only require some mannequin to be there to talk AT, and it's not about me at all. Just you."

This is pretty difficult. I would like for some people in my life to step up and act in a manner consistent with what they say they want, but at the same time, I can't plan for that happening. And, I am unwilling to just absorb the falsehood of "Oh, I'll come do that with you."

Now, the world is getting back "uh, no .. you won't."

Heuristic? Yes. My choice? Yes. A big change? Definately.

Heurism defined - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heuristics

Monday, Monday .. rainy day version

Fun! Gave away about 1/3 of the sheet/book music to Rosita today. Rainy, nasty and wet were the operative words for the afternoon. Seems that the sheet music that I have left isn't really worth much. After calling the eBay consignment shop, their minimum price requirement has gone up to $50, which rather negates a bunch of the stuff I have to sell, I guess. I don't know.

Still a lot more packing to do. Kitchen, bedrooms, garage.

I'm finding so many things that I kept and moved into this house that I just don't think about, read, look at, whatever. It's just amazing how much CRAP I keep because it "feels" better than having nothing, or thinking that I have nothing.

Well, enough of that. I may be moving this stuff into the new place, but it's not staying.

I've fully decorated the new place in my mind. Well, as far as where the furniture and wall hangings are going to go. Paint colors have yet to be determined. I will need some drapes for the front two windows, and a blind and drapery rod for my bedroom (I'm not giving up on the red silk just yet, I don't think.)

I have decided that the front formal living room is going to have the small curio case - maybe another one curio case eventually. Glass front antique book case. Two black leather arm chairs. Big curio case. The two big Continental airlines posters. It's going to be the airline memorabilia room. In the great room, the piano, the stereo/home theater, and all the movie posters. The kitchen is going to have clear counters, I've decided. Only the coffee maker and the knife rack are going to be "out."

I had lunch today with John (Big John, not John too) at Baba Yega, and we sat right outside the patio. I was looking out the windows at the lavish riot of plants and thought "that's how I want my patio to look."

It's going to require some work, but I want to be able to look out through that patio window and see plants, leaves, flowers, flowing water ... yup.

The stairwell is two stories tall, and has three great walls for hanging "stuff." So, I've decided to finally have all of my 1938 20th Century Limited stuff framed, and hang the "trains," as my Dutch Auntie called them in the stairwell, and hang the other curio (the one with the 1938 20th Century stuff in it) at the top of the stairwell hallway. I'll get Matticia to put in some recessed cans that will highlight each of the framed, hanging prints and the curio.

Still waiting on the final word for loan approval. I am withholding shaking the money tree until I know what's what.

Thinking of going to bed, even though it's only 9:30. I have a headache, and am feeling like being horizontal.