Been spending a lot of time today thinking about elements of my life which feed into my "sentence." If you've been reading, you'll know what that's about. Susan is course supervising the advanced course this weekend, so it's amusing and interesting that I'm in Dallas, where she is, and dwelling on my "sentence," which is one of the primary focuses of the Advanced Course.
Anyway.
I've been going back through different events in my life - back to fourth grade, I think, and looking at where I've just taken what was meted out and haven't ever really stood up for myself. My relationship with Valentine is a very clear example of not even standing up for what's lawful and just, let alone what works for me. It's a new "muscle" for me, but I have a lot of experience in knowing how things work and where to go to get things accomplished to help me through.
I think I found a replacement computer on eBay tonight - knocks off tomorrow. Mikey gave me some specs to find, and this seems to be just the right thing.
Larry and I are fixing to head out and have some hang-out time with his friends again tonight. We have had a relaxing and very fun day today; the same friends came over around noon, and we ate WONDERFUL food, hung out, cut up, told evil stories and watched "Sordid Lives." We laughed until we cried. Then, I did some emailing, tried to nap (and spent the time meditating and planning instead) and then got up, cleaned up and came here.
Guy is unable to join me this weekend, but I think that we'll be back around the 11th for the annual fund raising party in Plano.
I am going to see if I can sneak in a trip to go see Scott next week, and get in on the last day of service from EFD. I think I'll close up and check airfares over there now.
DJHJD
Saturday, August 28, 2004
Greetings from Dallas County, where one must display one's Amex Platinum at all times to garner attention from wait staff.
Flying up here was .. weird. It's been nearly two years since I've flown Continental, and it's the last week that they're operating from my beloved Ellington Field. The last I flew from EFD, it was on an Embraer turbo-prop seating 18; yesterday was on an ERJ145 seating 50. Let's not say it was full. Then, got to Terminal B (where I used to spend a considerable part of my life) and dashed across the new food concourse (!) and made it over to my gate to DAL. As is historically the case, Continental's service from Houston is PACKED going everywhere. Our ERJ to Dallas was pretty full, probably four open seats, and I was in the row occupied by the official screaming child. We sat on the [very hot] ramp for a while, and the child shrieked, screamed and whined the whole time. Then, we pushed back and taxied for a long while. Shriek, scream, cry. Fourth in line for take-off. SSC. Off we go. Had there been a mechanical emergency, the sounds of the sirens from the cockpit and the sounds of the plane breaking apart would have been masked by the piercing cries of this happy child. Well, happy, sad, demanding, begging. I wonder if her name was Sybil? Forty-one minutes in the air. SSC. Approach, land, roll-out, taxi - does this kid not need oxygen? Then, I escaped. Her mother had gate checked something, so I was able to head out the door without the .. well, you get the picture.
Larry rolled right up in his new Aztek, which is really a lovely car, especially all tricked out the way he bought this one. We went to DFW to pick up the man who flew in from SFO to buy his other car, then came back to his place to deliver same. Then, off to dinner and out to the bars. All of Larry's friends were out, which was great, and the first bar we went to was loaded with stippers. Larry's ex-boyfriend was there, and hitting on me (physically) as per the norm. So, I backed him off HARD, his mood fell apart and he left. Everyone I was with was SO taken with the dancers - I kept hollering "they don't mean it - they just want your money" at all of them. Larry went up to the one who was REALLY built, and came back telling me that the boy/man lives in Houston. Sort of. And that he had asked to meet me.
Clearly, he needed something. So, I went over there. He wanted to know if he could contact me, as the man (undoubedly older) that he had been staying with in Houston "was getting weird." Probably wanting some action after all that flirtation to save on hotel rooms. So, I gave him my card. He said he was going to email me on Monday. About six times. Apparently, he's coming to town soon. Like Monday.
Anyway, we went then to the next bar over, and the place was .. empty. But, there were three young men gyrating .. I went to the bathroom, and one would have thought it was 1983 all over again. My heavens! I quickly finished and left, and after a while, I was sitting there at the table having consumed sixty-eleven cocktails, watching my friends shovel out the money and attention at these young men, and wondering how I came to be in this spiritual place (of mine, not the bar.)
I mean, if "it shall be done unto you as you believe" (the best paraphrase that I can offer) and I'm sitting there believing that no one is going to be interested in me, and I'm better off not evidencing interest in ANYONE, then I'm surely getting exactly what I believe. It's complex. Where did I develop this notion? I've had it for years .. but, I didn't used to. Kind of. I don't know.
Fortunately, it was midnight, and Larry was ready to go. So, off we went to his place, and I went to bed pretty quickly. I slept HARD all night, and had more bizarre dreams. I had the one about being in the Brad Pitt/Jennifer Anniston movie where they're racing around on a motorcycle and traveling through time to Medievel lands, and Brad Pitt is fighting armored knights. On his motorcycle. While Jennifer's hair blows in the rush of air past the speeding motorcycle.
I told you that they were weird. I also dreamed of the new peeler. Briefly.
It's raining today, and who knows if everyone's coming over at noon as they said they were. I've been fiddling around on the computer a while, so it's time to go join Larry in the living room and be social. Adios!
Flying up here was .. weird. It's been nearly two years since I've flown Continental, and it's the last week that they're operating from my beloved Ellington Field. The last I flew from EFD, it was on an Embraer turbo-prop seating 18; yesterday was on an ERJ145 seating 50. Let's not say it was full. Then, got to Terminal B (where I used to spend a considerable part of my life) and dashed across the new food concourse (!) and made it over to my gate to DAL. As is historically the case, Continental's service from Houston is PACKED going everywhere. Our ERJ to Dallas was pretty full, probably four open seats, and I was in the row occupied by the official screaming child. We sat on the [very hot] ramp for a while, and the child shrieked, screamed and whined the whole time. Then, we pushed back and taxied for a long while. Shriek, scream, cry. Fourth in line for take-off. SSC. Off we go. Had there been a mechanical emergency, the sounds of the sirens from the cockpit and the sounds of the plane breaking apart would have been masked by the piercing cries of this happy child. Well, happy, sad, demanding, begging. I wonder if her name was Sybil? Forty-one minutes in the air. SSC. Approach, land, roll-out, taxi - does this kid not need oxygen? Then, I escaped. Her mother had gate checked something, so I was able to head out the door without the .. well, you get the picture.
Larry rolled right up in his new Aztek, which is really a lovely car, especially all tricked out the way he bought this one. We went to DFW to pick up the man who flew in from SFO to buy his other car, then came back to his place to deliver same. Then, off to dinner and out to the bars. All of Larry's friends were out, which was great, and the first bar we went to was loaded with stippers. Larry's ex-boyfriend was there, and hitting on me (physically) as per the norm. So, I backed him off HARD, his mood fell apart and he left. Everyone I was with was SO taken with the dancers - I kept hollering "they don't mean it - they just want your money" at all of them. Larry went up to the one who was REALLY built, and came back telling me that the boy/man lives in Houston. Sort of. And that he had asked to meet me.
Clearly, he needed something. So, I went over there. He wanted to know if he could contact me, as the man (undoubedly older) that he had been staying with in Houston "was getting weird." Probably wanting some action after all that flirtation to save on hotel rooms. So, I gave him my card. He said he was going to email me on Monday. About six times. Apparently, he's coming to town soon. Like Monday.
Anyway, we went then to the next bar over, and the place was .. empty. But, there were three young men gyrating .. I went to the bathroom, and one would have thought it was 1983 all over again. My heavens! I quickly finished and left, and after a while, I was sitting there at the table having consumed sixty-eleven cocktails, watching my friends shovel out the money and attention at these young men, and wondering how I came to be in this spiritual place (of mine, not the bar.)
I mean, if "it shall be done unto you as you believe" (the best paraphrase that I can offer) and I'm sitting there believing that no one is going to be interested in me, and I'm better off not evidencing interest in ANYONE, then I'm surely getting exactly what I believe. It's complex. Where did I develop this notion? I've had it for years .. but, I didn't used to. Kind of. I don't know.
Fortunately, it was midnight, and Larry was ready to go. So, off we went to his place, and I went to bed pretty quickly. I slept HARD all night, and had more bizarre dreams. I had the one about being in the Brad Pitt/Jennifer Anniston movie where they're racing around on a motorcycle and traveling through time to Medievel lands, and Brad Pitt is fighting armored knights. On his motorcycle. While Jennifer's hair blows in the rush of air past the speeding motorcycle.
I told you that they were weird. I also dreamed of the new peeler. Briefly.
It's raining today, and who knows if everyone's coming over at noon as they said they were. I've been fiddling around on the computer a while, so it's time to go join Larry in the living room and be social. Adios!
Thursday, August 26, 2004
A morning without computage. I'm spending my day being productive; cleaning EVERYTHING in the apartment. I'm on a mission to attack anything that smells funky in my apartment. MJV's wife is picking up his equipment today; it's all stacked at the door ready to go. I was thinking about waxing the car today, but .. it's just going to get rained on all weekend so ..
I just found all of my email. I tried to check it last night using my sprint phone, and it kept telling me that I had the wrong password in Yahoo mail - which I did - but, it was pulling down ALL of my email out of my mail server and hiding it in Yahoo mail.
Very amusing.
Scooter is helping me get a replacement computer today.
I just hope that when I get home this weekend, my apartment is as clean and fresh-smelling as I'll be leaving it tomorrow.
I still haven't decided whether to go back to UHCL tomorrow or not. Bleh.
Okay, I'm almost done processing email for the morning - back to cleaning the apartment!
I just found all of my email. I tried to check it last night using my sprint phone, and it kept telling me that I had the wrong password in Yahoo mail - which I did - but, it was pulling down ALL of my email out of my mail server and hiding it in Yahoo mail.
Very amusing.
Scooter is helping me get a replacement computer today.
I just hope that when I get home this weekend, my apartment is as clean and fresh-smelling as I'll be leaving it tomorrow.
I still haven't decided whether to go back to UHCL tomorrow or not. Bleh.
Okay, I'm almost done processing email for the morning - back to cleaning the apartment!
Monday, August 23, 2004
The end of the last class before my practitioner training was tonight .. awesome class. I wish I could take others, but .. one must be sensible about the 72 mile round trip and the evening class schedule.
As I was driving home (and trying to manipulate my PCS phone, which kept dropping calls as I was trying to maintain a speed down the dark country road leading away from Creative Life, not driving into oncoming traffic nor into the ditch) I was talking to Guy about .. well, this, that, the other thing and nothing that changed the direction of the planets. You know, just a few short months ago, he was nothing more than a recognized, recurrent set of characters on a computer screen. In this short period of time, he's become an indispensible part of my daily life. Just as with Lance, and Eric, they have come in non-traditionally (Guy and Eric from internet conversations, and Lance from being introduced as a new co-worker,) and we have glommed onto each other with no introductory period of "getting to know you."
It's just amazing how fast life changes, and how the right people for right where you are move into your circle when you need them.
I have to get to bed, since I have a date with Lisa to walk first thing in the morning.
As I was driving home (and trying to manipulate my PCS phone, which kept dropping calls as I was trying to maintain a speed down the dark country road leading away from Creative Life, not driving into oncoming traffic nor into the ditch) I was talking to Guy about .. well, this, that, the other thing and nothing that changed the direction of the planets. You know, just a few short months ago, he was nothing more than a recognized, recurrent set of characters on a computer screen. In this short period of time, he's become an indispensible part of my daily life. Just as with Lance, and Eric, they have come in non-traditionally (Guy and Eric from internet conversations, and Lance from being introduced as a new co-worker,) and we have glommed onto each other with no introductory period of "getting to know you."
It's just amazing how fast life changes, and how the right people for right where you are move into your circle when you need them.
I have to get to bed, since I have a date with Lisa to walk first thing in the morning.
If it weren't for the lawn guys buzzing around outside my window, today would be a nice, quiet day.
I still have a few things to get done for my class tonight.
Got up this morning, and walked with Lisa, whom I hadn't seen since about March, when her pregnancy got to a point that she couldn't walk anymore. We walked three miles, with the dog and the baby in a stroller .. it was fun!
Okay, I need to gather some more information to make these files happen .. back to the salt mines!
I still have a few things to get done for my class tonight.
Got up this morning, and walked with Lisa, whom I hadn't seen since about March, when her pregnancy got to a point that she couldn't walk anymore. We walked three miles, with the dog and the baby in a stroller .. it was fun!
Okay, I need to gather some more information to make these files happen .. back to the salt mines!
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Dinner with Lance & Steve - their food is better than what one gets in a good restaurant.
Lance pointed out something that I had not previously considered; that Jarred is glomming onto me because I'm non-threatening. Once he deals wit hhis issues, I'll be his "mommy," and he'll spin off into his world to do what he does.
Ewww. I've done that SO MUCH in my life .. why would I want to do it AGAIN?
Lance pointed out something that I had not previously considered; that Jarred is glomming onto me because I'm non-threatening. Once he deals wit hhis issues, I'll be his "mommy," and he'll spin off into his world to do what he does.
Ewww. I've done that SO MUCH in my life .. why would I want to do it AGAIN?
Two messages from Jarred - "Sounds like you have your hands full. Very hectic schedule. I am doing okay, thanks for asking though. Happy? Well, to a certain extent. Just taking each day at a time. Work is consistent which is good. Would still like to chat with you when you feel I am reliable enough."
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