The PSoRC houses Ruby for the fourth night in a row

The PSoGJ has been occupado for days now. T called as I was driving home from UHCL, and told me that they had cooked up some appointments this afternoon, and that Ruby's wiring harness would have to wait. Not that it was a surprise; I was rather expecting same.

Anyhoo, at lunch, I learned that Isaac, my favorite waiter replacement for Ben (who can never be replaced, and who's been irritatingly silent since moving back to Austin to finish his master's) is leaving in two weeks for another part of the country, and that T&A have been hitting the streets again, sexually speaking. This presages another relationship melt-down, in which I will be again asked to mediate.

And this time, I'm going to tell them that they've made their bed, and can lie in it. No pun intended.

I myself failed to "spend" the $9MM in the game I set up last week for the study group. I only "spent" 10%. I simply can't see myself in some huge house, or owning a bunch of houses hither and yon. I'd like to have a few old Imperials. I'd love to spend some money fixing Ruby up. I'd like to have the townhouse that I "bought." I'd love to have some very nice clothes. And then, I'd like to travel, travel, travel. And, I'd like to keep working with business concepts that I cook up. And make a difference in gay people being accepted in this world. Other than that, I really don't think I could use that much.

More dreams

I was just thinking - last night, I had a dream about trying to meet up with Donna and Lisa, my two lady friends who are helping with Fabulair, and I was in some part of Houston that I didn't recognize at all. It was industrial, and right on the water. I had parked my car, and was walking to meet them, and there were all these weird, quasi-art deco buildings with Indian style domes and such .. and there were Indian people who were selling things out of these .. factories. I wandered into one of them, and a very handsome, tall Indian man offered to show me around. They had an eclectic assortment of bright clothing, men's suits (that were very .. ethnic? the coats were the style that are knee length, but they were kind of cool) and wooden roll top desks. It was very sunny outside, and there were rusted, small submarines tied up to the rotted docks out back. The Indian man told me that they transported their imported goods in the submarines.

After I looked through everything with him standing there, radiating welcome and friendship, I thanked him, and the other people who were in the shop/factory, and walked back out into the sunshine to go meet Lisa and Donna. That's when the dream ended (with the gentle sounds of "Living on Earth," the Saturday morning program on NPR.

Witches brewing

Strange what burps up when you're working on your inner psyche.

After teaching this morning, and after meeting Guy at Barnaby's to hear about my gay babies' latest sexual adventures (is it 1983 again?) I took a nap. Whilst snoozing, I started having these bizarre dreams about being in my grandmother's house, and that I had some witch (or witchlike woman) who had done something to me .. during this dream, I kept feeling like someone was clawing the back of my neck .. it was WEIRD. It almost felt like someone had two big lego, and was pinching the back of my neck.

Then, there were three guys whom I recognized, all of whom were in some dancing chorus. They kept telling me about the witch. Then, she was circling above the dance hall (which was my grandmother's house) and I somehow snagged her with a line of pure light. She was orbiting around, trapped like a fly on a string, and started reeling her in through the glass ceiling, while the dancing boys watched. She was talking trash in some insensible manner, and kept trying to get away while I pulled her in.

Right as I got her to the top of the glass ceiling, the lights in my bedroom started coming on, and I woke up.

I had a discussion with PJ's kid today; his attitude about affection and sex is just so .. wide open. He just wants to be happy, and is willing to be with whomever makes him happy.

What would the world be like if everyone felt that way? Not that everyone was sexually flexible, but if they just didn't think about how other people received their affection and affirmation? How much time is spent worrying, thinking, manipulating, pondering, talking about and trying to control how other people express themselves in love and in sex?

I think he may come to visit over Easter; I hope so. Maybe we'll meet in Dallas and hang out with my friends up there. I would love to spend more time with him; he's so pulled together in so many ways.

Okay, off to watch the rest of "Sunset Boulevard," and "Dark City."

Amazing ..

That just couldn't have gone any better if it had been scripted out and rehearsed. WOW.

Water washes away everything

I've actually been productive so far today - I've written about 70% of the Fabulair documentation that I need to have done, I've put away the last of the things that were taken off the walls when the guys re-carpeted, I've put away and organized all the music CDs into their cases which are neatly mounted on the guest room closet wall (above the VHS, the vinyl LPs and the sheet music) and organized my ten year collection of Airliners magazines and Trains magazines. WHOOP!

Now, I'm going to finish organizing my bedroom closet, clean the bathroom, vacuum, and dust .. and THEN, Trev is coming over, and needs me to cash a check for him, and I have to zip by Randall's to pick up stuff for my DATE TONIGHT!

He (the date) said the NICEST thing to me; "I'm just beaming red. I've always thought
you you as being fascinating, intelligent, all the qualities I enjoy."

Okay, I am now returning to the land of productivity!

A couple of steps forward, a step back

In this morning's news, I had a delightful dinner last night with my friend Billy, who is a redcoat for Continental, and whose father has worked for Southwest airlines for nearly thirty years. It was my first opportunity to brief him on Fabulair, and after I explained how it worked for him, he said "I want in. What can I do?"

Unfortunately, he doesn't have $250,000 lying around, but his efforts and input will be welcome.

And, my muse has returned.

The Marvin the Martian sweatshirt that I had wanted on eBay sold for $4.00 more than my maximum bid, more's the pity, and I have a date tonight with Jayce, who is a lad that I have thought highly desirable for YEARS. I ran into him on a hook-up website on Monday, and didn't know who he was (the headless horseman thing) Turns out that all my requests that we go out years ago didn't strike him as an expression of interest. So, the direct approach brought the reply "I never thought you were interested in me." "Who are you?" "Jayce" "You're KIDDING, right? I've always thought you were one of the most beautiful men on the planet!"

We have a date tonight.

I have finally brought in what to say about the seed money campaign for Fabulair. Have to work on that here today, and then work on the INCREDIBLE business that I'm starting with my favorite client after our meeting last night.

Where is Joey when I need to have the CDs alphabetized, and the magazines sorted and put in racks? Bleh.

Spring cleaning

Well, I started off doing quite well today. I got a number of things done, and then, I jammed my shredder, right in the middle of a jumbo tax return. I need to wait for T to come over and fix it for me, so now I've been uploading most of my picture files to Yahoo, and burning music off to CD-ROM so that I can free up some disc space.

Which is now nearly complete. I have laundered the sheets, and am about to exchange the bedcovers for the ones I bought on eBay oh, a year ago. I haven't jumped up to go do that yet.

I have about an hour and a half before my meeting with my favorite client at 5:00. I suppose I should make the best of it.

A puny excuse

Darlene, my prayer partner, tonight told us a story about her life that was .. jaw dropping. What she grew up with, and from where she came. Oh, my GOD. She is indistinguishable in her countenance and carriage from any other middle class person. She has re-defined herself and created a new reality that is a much greater step than for me to take myself from where I am to an international figure of importance with great wealth. Seriously.

I have to seriously look at my "story" about my limitations, and get a grip. So, tonight, after I fold laundry, send a fax to the TWC lady after re-creating my schedule for the first half of the year and take the dogs outside, I'm going to do more "dot connecting."

I've finished up in my mind what I'm creating with this whole Fabulair thing .. it's going to grow into an organization much like AARP, but for gay people. Marketing, branding, lobbying .. an organization that carries some weight behind it.

If we had something like AARP; something with a minimal membership cost, something where we could start to demonstrate our marketing horsepower, where we could offer group insurance for people with HIV, retirement plans, retirement villages, marketing consulting, death benefits, travel benefits .. and so on.

Brian and me (as the red fairy) Halloween, 2002. Moments later, I set my tutu on fire with the candle that is just out of the picture to the right. 

Naps and dreams - rainy Monday edition

I had a big old nap today; Monday is rather my Sunday, since Sunday is more like a Wednesday.

Anyway, during nap #2 (there was a telephone call that broke the omni-nap into two segments) I had a dream about Brian. I haven't thought about Brian in a great long time. In this dream (and, probably in real life) I was head over heels with Brian, and he was with me. Brian is one of the most stunning creatures I've ever met, and I met him right after Johnny's death in 2002. He has since orbited out, still lives in Houston so far as I can tell, as I occasionally run into him (see archives.) Anyway, it was very powerful (in the dream) how much I loved him.

I had the most unusual experience today; I was surfing around on an online dating/hook-up site, and saw this handsome looking man I had not seen before. I shot him a message, and, after some to-ing and fro-ing, it turns out that I know him. He never thought I was interested in him. I had asked him out several times back three or four years ago, and I thought he wasn't interested in me. So, what we were studying yesterday in class about perceptions and all - proven today in life.

The 1980 Seville was the first to produce the bustle trunk, but the Imperial's was actually designed earlier, and was better looking. 

The first all electronic dashboard 

talk about lavish American style luxury (1981 definitions) 

how disco is this? 

Rainy Mondays

Okay, so I finally blogged on the Fabulair site. I need to ask Chuck to re-insert the link to that site on the Fabulair site, and to include the link to our "store" for merchandise. I thought (when I signed up) that one could incorporate the online store into one's own website, but .. I seem to be missing something.

Having lunch with Kurtis at 12:30 - somewhere.

I had in mind to bake bread today, too .. I should get on that, huh?

I have been thinking about the conservative "straight" community, and I have some ideas:

a.) If marriage is a sacred and sacrosanct institution that requires protection from "attack," then, let's jump on board. We protect marriage's position in society by making adultery criminally illegal, and make divorce impossible under ANY circumstances. One man, one woman, one chance.

b.) If gay people aren't allowed to adopt or foster children, why should we be expected to pay for public education?

c.) If the world can discriminate against gay people in hiring, housing, promotions and such, why can't we likewise discriminate in kind in reverse?

subject change

I've pretty much decided that I want to buy this 1981 Imperial that I found on the net. It's unique, it's loaded, it's like new, and it's very fun. I am going to upload a picture or two of it here as soon as I can get "Hello" to cooperate.

The murky mirror

Well, today's marathon church session went well; my "lesson" that I gave went very well. Got home around 4:30, finally. A LONG day. Not that my mood really improved any - what we worked on in the class didn't help, it just sort of focused my irritation.

I have no earthly idea what the foundation of this mood is; I know what the external symptoms are, but I haven't been able to connect them up with other behaviors and patterns that would clue me in as to what this is linked to. I'll literally have to spend this week focusing on this.

I also have to focus on everything else. I have Fabulair work to get done this week, want to work with Ryan on the new mortgage product that he and I cooked up, have tax returns to do, have to clean up the wreckage that is my apartment. Lilly Roddy said in my March horoscope that I should focus on bringing order into my environment. Since I've been getting things organized that have never been done in the seven years I've lived here, that's something to consider.

Oh, and I haven't even looked at my homework for tomorrow night yet. Yeah, that needs doing also. And, I need to bake more bread tomorrow. And do laundry.

Joey came by to retrieve some money for the little handyman tasks he's done for me; while I am grateful for the accomplishments, it has taken too much conversation and too much time for the three hours worth of work. He and T keep promising that they're going to work on Ruby's wiring harness, but not only do they days keep getting put off, the time promises never seem to materialize. So, I think it's time to find a reputable shop to re-wire the stereo and put in the OnStar before they stop supporting analog OnStar systems.

Part of what I'm stuck on, and part of why it's got Fabulair dead stuck too, is that I have a hard time seeing myself this accepted by the gay community. By gay men, specifically. That's a tie-in with the whole being stood up/rejected thing that I have encountered since about 1984. When I try to look into this, I get no inner monologue, and just want to go unconscious. What gives?

Anyway, I have a headache, have two days' worth of work to get done tomorrow, and need some sleep. I'm going to cogitate on this some more and see what comes in the morrow.