Today's most poingnant and relevant discussion -

I spent a good couple of hours today reading about the Koch family, about the Birchers, the Tea Party, the astonishing spread of hate and intentional ignorance -

I was beginning to form the thought "why bother?"

Then, the conversation with Teddy:

Ted: So whats new in politics today?
drdivo: Oh, it's all the same.  It's the same shit been going on since Andrew Jackson
Ted: I figured
Ted: the decline of intelligent thought in this country is making me sad
drdivo: It's making it challenging for me to be around people who are talking
drdivo: I just want to injure them
Ted: I stay away from them
Ted: There isn't anything in common, so there is no possible dialogue
drdivo: so true
Ted: They believe that once you are born, you're on your own.  I believe we have a collective responsibility to society.  We are arguing from two separate and irreconcilable bases of thought
drdivo: quite so
drdivo: and they resent ANY helping hand given anyone other than themselves
Ted: indeed.  Although they might tread carefully.  Worrying too much about the 2nd amendment may not be in their favor when the middle class is gone and there is a huge, armed underclass who comes to realize that they've been well and truly screwed by the very wealthy whom they supported for so long

(my comment at the end there)

Holiday depression, or just ... ?

I'm going to talk about depression for a bit.

The goal of this discussion, is to give those who don't deal with depression some understanding about what depression is, and to give those who are depressed and aren't getting treated some access to seeing that there is hope.

Even for someone who is themselves depressed, it is nearly impossible to see a depressed person as anything other than selfish and self-pitying. Even in mass media articles about depression, the tone is that it's all in the head of the depressed.

 Being depressed is an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness, of pointlessness.  There is only a certainty that nothing will get better, ever.

It's not something one just "snaps out of".  It's not selfish, although the matter tends to be self-focused.  It's not something that one can smile one's way out of.

It is a closed, self-fulfilling, self-validating circle that blocks out everything else.

You can't talk someone out of it.  Helpful suggestions are not helpful.

My sister recently complimented my Zoloft for my improved mood and behavior.  Uh, thanks.  Zoloft did cut through the fog long enough that I could start productive talk therapy.

Medical research is now beginning to show that the vast pool of anti-depressants don't .. um .. do anything.

Productive talk therapy, with a patient who is intent on changing their life and their patterns does work.  So does exercise.  Sometimes.

Everyone is quite different in small ways; what works for one person won't necessarily work for someone else.

Bottom line, don't think you know what's wrong with a depressed person because you watched "Oprah" one afternoon, or because you've heard that SSRIs do wonders.  You're just justifying your own judgment.

Try walking ten miles in the blinding fog of a depressed person and see how judgmental you're feeling thereafter.

Full as a tick on a Junebug...

As we say here in Texas, anyway.

I'm as full as a tick on a Junebug - it refers to that a tick will suck the blood of its victim literally until it bursts.  So, I could suggest that I'm full to the point of bursting.

Of what, you ask?

• racism
• people who resent government, want lower taxes because government is inefficient, and then bitch about government inefficiency
• US military spending
• people who steadfastly remain ignorant to the effects of their behaviors and choices
• gay Republicans
• gay conservative Christians
• married men who live "normal" lives but seek anonymous sex with men
• people who bitch about taxes in the US
• people who bitch about how unions ruined everything
• people who think that there are herds of unemployed, lazy, shiftless people on welfare who are ruining our economy
• people who blame illegal immigrants for illegal immigration

Thoughts on organized religion, ecclesiastical leadership and abuse

The further I move away from organized religion and ecclesiastical leadership, the more I am seeing that a consistent theme among such leaders is an urgent desire to "fix" what they perceive to be wrong with themselves.

Just as with the constant drone of conservative, anti-gay leaders coming out of the closet and braying for forgiveness, these committed self-healers find themselves in positions of authority and without the tools to actually teach what they preach.  Conceptual knowledge and a good schtick is still a horrible disservice to those who look to these frauds as leaders.

Just as with the ardent anti-homo homos, these "healers" tend to lash out and further injure those who are in the most injury prone state.

What can be done about it?  Nothing.  People should just keep their eyes more open than they tend to do, I guess.

Vacating...

Vacation.  One vacates? 

Vacates what, though?  What if one's life now is such a change from what one's life was that going back to vacation with people who are from that "was" just inadvertently take you away from who you are now and return you back to where you've worked so hard to move away from?

Is there a successful vacation when you are assured of being thought of, interacted with and only seen as who you've always been known to be?

Or, does a successful vacation require going somewhere with only one's new self?

Sometimes, it's just SUCH a small world....

Subject:  Hot waiter with whom I've flirted

Locale:  BB's Cafe on Montrose

Event:  Andrew, the very cute, very blond, very daffy waiter was there today.  I greeted him effusively.  I complimented him on his haircut.  He's just not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.

Shortly after, Robert showed up and to cap off our lunch experience, Robert put on his "anti-UofH" floor show for Andrew.

It's quite the show.  Only his "And then, I flew off of the top step and body checked the bitch while she was trying to bite my partner's arm" comes close to its drama and intensity.

Andrew, who has today started at UH, was somewhat overwhelmed.

Yes, UH has its problems, but Robert paints them out to be so vast and monstrous that there appears to be no valid reason that UofH is still operating.

Robert was called away to another engagement, and I mentioned to Andrew that I'm an adjunct at UH and Robert paints the picture out to be much worse than it really is.

"Oh, really?  Maybe you know my dad - he's an adjunct at UH.  Ken Jones".

(insert massive pause in space time continuum here)

"Ken Jones - as in married to Carla?" (Carla being she who during the cast party following opening night of "Best Little Whorehouse in Texas back around 1998 I complimented by telling her that she was so hot I had heterosexual thoughts about her)

"Yeah, he's my dad"

(insert flood of conflicted thoughts here, i.e.

• Your dad is one of the smartest guys on the planet - what happened to you?
• That explains why you've got such a great ass, 'cause your dad's ass ROCKS the house at age 54.
• I wonder if you're as MSM curious as is your dad...
• Well, crap, now I can't try to get into your pants!
• etc.)

my email to Darrin at Beck and Masten Buick GMC today

So, you're all aware that I'm a car whore.  Currently, I'm captivated both emotionally and intellectually with the 2011 Buick Regal.  I saw it at the Houston (pathetic) car show in January, and I got to drive one a couple of Saturdays ago.  I've consumed every fragment and data bit of information that I can hunt down about the car, and I'm s-o-l-d.

Last week, after retuning from vacay with my fam, I found myself sans companions - as is my usual, but was newly unfamiliar to me - and I did my usual - which is to look at cars online.  I was delighted to see that Edmunds.com had uploaded the Regal CXL turbo information, which was brand new to the net - pricing, equipment, etc.  Edmunds provides a convenient "get a quote" link.  Being a.) bored, b.) lonely and c.) insane, I completed the online form and was nearly immediately rewarded with a barrage of automated emails from the five (5) Houston area Buick dealers that I chose.  Somehow, DeMontrond didn't make the cut (probably because they're not paying Edmunds off).

I had a single satisfactory conversation with one (1) Buick salesman following this web inquiry.  His automated responder just tonight emailed me with a follow up, and I replied to him thusly:

Hello Darrin -

Enjoyed speaking to you last week.

Edmunds sent out five requests for quote for the '11 Regal GXL turbo.

You replied cogently, spoke in a reasonable way, and suggested you'd call me when one came in that I could drive.  If one wasn't available as I would want (CXL turbo, 6AT pkg 5, espresso brown, cashmere), you'd help me order one.

I'm quite good with that answer, and you've got my business.  When one comes in, I hope to hear from you and I'll dash right up there to check it out with you.  I understand that they'll start shipping shortly.

You'll be quite entertained to hear of the other four responses:

• David Taylor - replied that the Turbo won't be out until next year 2nd qtr (they must be thinking of the GS, which I didn't inquire about)
• West Point - replied by phone and by email and blackberry at 10:30pm, then by phone and email and blackberry the next morning.  After I spoke to you, I spoke to him, and he suggested that I could come in right then and buy one - he'd find me one.  Uh, no.
• Beck & Masten South - replied by email that the Turbo won't be out until the Spring - see David Taylor, above.
• Casa - replied twice; internet "manager" (not the internet manager reflected on their website) replied that the turbo wasn't out, and they didn't know when that would be.  I tried to reply to his email, and his reply address failed.  Then, the internet manager (as listed on the website) contacted me by email to suggest that I'd really like the non-turbo, and I should come try one.  After I had made it clear to them that I'd already driven the CXL base, and wanted the CXL turbo.

So, man, you're the only Buick guy in town who's actually processing what the customer is asking for.  Kudos.  Call me when they're coming off the truck and I'm looking forward to meeting you then.

Doug Hord

Notes:

1. If you're interested in a new Buick, go see Darin at Beck and Masten North.
2. I love being again validated by my prior opinions of the idiots at David Taylor.