Today's Life Lesson
Never irritate a woman who
can operate a backhoe.
Thus endeth the lesson.
Women are angels, and when someone breaks their wings they simply continue to fly ... on a broomstick. They’re flexible like that.
DJHJD
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Speaking of Lap and Shoulder Belts
Didja know that I used to have a little column in a Houston regional magazine called "Martini Motoring"?
I was reflecting on that the other day when my very dear Chuckerpoo was trying to get the lap and shoulder belt in my Buick to stop cutting him across the neck - he wrapped it under his armpit and I think I threw a fit. There may have been a little spittle involved.
Back in the late 1990s, I wrote this about that:
Recently, Parade Magazine invited readers to submit their favorite bumper stickers for publication. My favorite one was “Get Out of the Gene Pool.”
It seems that there is a large body of drivers who are intent on getting out of the gene pool; they are those who have started wearing their shoulder belts under their arms and across the ribcage.
Okay, simple physiology boys and girls, the ribcage is weak. The collarbone is very strong. The shoulder belt goes over the shoulder because all of the deceleration force is directed to the collarbone, which will easily absorb it.
If you are one of those who thinks it is more comfortable or trendy to wear your shoulder belt across your ribcage, just remember this: When you are chatting up someone on your mobile phone and fail to see that traffic stopping in front of you, pile into your next-door neighbor at 35 mph or so and are pulled to a halt by the shoulder belt, your ribcage will collapse under the strain, your chest and internal organs will be squashed like goose liver pate, and you will suffer the same fate as Princess Diana without the paparazzi.
I was reflecting on that the other day when my very dear Chuckerpoo was trying to get the lap and shoulder belt in my Buick to stop cutting him across the neck - he wrapped it under his armpit and I think I threw a fit. There may have been a little spittle involved.
Back in the late 1990s, I wrote this about that:
Recently, Parade Magazine invited readers to submit their favorite bumper stickers for publication. My favorite one was “Get Out of the Gene Pool.”
It seems that there is a large body of drivers who are intent on getting out of the gene pool; they are those who have started wearing their shoulder belts under their arms and across the ribcage.
Okay, simple physiology boys and girls, the ribcage is weak. The collarbone is very strong. The shoulder belt goes over the shoulder because all of the deceleration force is directed to the collarbone, which will easily absorb it.
If you are one of those who thinks it is more comfortable or trendy to wear your shoulder belt across your ribcage, just remember this: When you are chatting up someone on your mobile phone and fail to see that traffic stopping in front of you, pile into your next-door neighbor at 35 mph or so and are pulled to a halt by the shoulder belt, your ribcage will collapse under the strain, your chest and internal organs will be squashed like goose liver pate, and you will suffer the same fate as Princess Diana without the paparazzi.
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