Okay, so it's been three months. Maybe there's just been nothing worth writing about.
Work is work. Lance [my new working partner] is awesome, but it's all just conceptual still. There's no business. Michael [the owner of the business] would still rather drink beer at Hooter's than talk to me about developing anything there, and until that changes, it's all just mental and emotional masturbation.
I'm taking a class through church again - "Self Mastery" this time. I'm beginning to think that this, like Landmark Education, like everything is more mental masturbation. It gives one a veneer of control, of self-direction, but it's all just bullshit. I don't know [tonight] if it's worth finishing the course.
Stood up again tonight, ver. 3.01 with this guy. Tonight was a work excuse. I don't care if he's the ONE that God has intended for me from the beginning of time, I'll never speak to him again. What a shithead. I wrote TWO poems about that boy, too.
Let's reproduce them here, shall we?
First, was this one - entitled "Jaecub" - my first indulgence in haiku
Sparks fly - new love meets
The thoughts of perfect forever
Fear and hope collide
Will lovers survive
Baggage - new uncertainties
Risk unbearable
Know what is vital
Love does happen at first sight
Strength brings perfection
Then, there was this one - entitled "the empty wine glass"
My apartment sits
just as quietly lit
as any other evening
In a neat row
in the bar's soft glow
stand four red wine glasses
Bejeweled
Confident
Bewitching
The soft whine of machines
A calm background achieves
Yet my home is far too silent
The one I think of most
is on another coast
and my wine glass must stand empty
The frustrating heights
Seven more nights
Before I fill my glass
And learn what fate has for me
I"ll tell you what fate had in store for me - another dry fuck after a promise of happiness.
I'm walking six miles a day, and have radically cut back on my food intake - can't seem to drop weight.
Is reality a fucking joke or what?
All of this on top of health issues with NO health insurance, and no way that it's coming into my life unless I win the lotto soon.
Yeah, it's a joke. It's a joke in which you are repeatedly given the impression that things are going to work out for you, and then the rug is jerked out from under you at the last second.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
DJHJD
Wednesday, November 05, 2003
Monday, August 04, 2003
Thursday, July 31, 2003
Payday, and supporting bois who should still be living with mommy
Mercifully, I had a little paycheck today. My larger commission check will issue on Tuesday, but that's pretty much already committed. I'm still waiting for my paycheck from UH-CL, which isn't yet overdue, but is past the normal time that I would have gotten it.
Spent my tiny paycheck on gas, car insurance and groceries. And Robert. I didn't give him much money, only about ten bucks, but he did demand fealty. He's off on the bus to apply for a job at Katz' [Katz' never closes!] then, later, I think he's going to Mingalone, a place he's waited tables before, to see about a job and an old paycheck there.
Robert being the boy from Arkansas. Who could give my friend E [from Vancouver] a BIG run for his money drinking vodka. Robert went through 1.75 litres of vodka between Saturday afternoon and Monday afternoon [48 hours.] When he wasn't hoovering up the vodka, he was sleeping it off. Very enrolling.
Eric still drifts in and out; I hardly see him [or my computer.] He's supposed to start paying rent a week from tomorrow, although there is a fair chance he'll move in with Walter, another gay.comicon. Walter doesn't have a bed for him, though, so he may stay here a while longer.
Agreed [in principal] with Michael today to work for him two days a week in Seabrook doing legal work. He pays me $25/hour for that, but I'm going to insist on 8 hour days if I'm going to be traveling down there. He has enough legal work to make it happen; he just needs to let me do [all] of it, and review and then sign things.
I feel rather like Wile E. Coyote - I keep getting banged with the big ACME hammer, but I keep going back for more.
Mercifully, I had a little paycheck today. My larger commission check will issue on Tuesday, but that's pretty much already committed. I'm still waiting for my paycheck from UH-CL, which isn't yet overdue, but is past the normal time that I would have gotten it.
Spent my tiny paycheck on gas, car insurance and groceries. And Robert. I didn't give him much money, only about ten bucks, but he did demand fealty. He's off on the bus to apply for a job at Katz' [Katz' never closes!] then, later, I think he's going to Mingalone, a place he's waited tables before, to see about a job and an old paycheck there.
Robert being the boy from Arkansas. Who could give my friend E [from Vancouver] a BIG run for his money drinking vodka. Robert went through 1.75 litres of vodka between Saturday afternoon and Monday afternoon [48 hours.] When he wasn't hoovering up the vodka, he was sleeping it off. Very enrolling.
Eric still drifts in and out; I hardly see him [or my computer.] He's supposed to start paying rent a week from tomorrow, although there is a fair chance he'll move in with Walter, another gay.comicon. Walter doesn't have a bed for him, though, so he may stay here a while longer.
Agreed [in principal] with Michael today to work for him two days a week in Seabrook doing legal work. He pays me $25/hour for that, but I'm going to insist on 8 hour days if I'm going to be traveling down there. He has enough legal work to make it happen; he just needs to let me do [all] of it, and review and then sign things.
I feel rather like Wile E. Coyote - I keep getting banged with the big ACME hammer, but I keep going back for more.
Friday, July 25, 2003
Buffy, Ver 4.01
Finished watching Buffy season four last night - boy, it was great! I missed all this entertainment for seven years, deciding in advance that it wasn't worthwhile, and not knowing that it was something awesome.
Along the same vein, today, the boy from Arkansas is supposed to be arriving by Amtrak. Of course, the world's most gullible human gave him the train ticket. I could tell where things were going as I recited the reservation code to him - his friend [who was taking him part-way to Little Rock to get the train] showed up, and he got off the phone without establishing that I'd pick him up, that he'd look for me, etc. My feeling was confirmed as the day wound on, when he didn't call me. Today, he's on the train [right now, the bus connector] to Houston, and I'm wondering - should I go to the train station to pick him up? What is his plan? Is this another youngster who's just scamming what they can?
Been working this afternoon on amended tax returns for a client who walked in. Have a woman who mailed me a new loan application, but I'm not sure about whether I can do anything for her.
My [very young] friend Steve is coming to see the show tonight. I think that Lynette [my friend who directed me in this show the first time] may be coming tonight as well.
Finished watching Buffy season four last night - boy, it was great! I missed all this entertainment for seven years, deciding in advance that it wasn't worthwhile, and not knowing that it was something awesome.
Along the same vein, today, the boy from Arkansas is supposed to be arriving by Amtrak. Of course, the world's most gullible human gave him the train ticket. I could tell where things were going as I recited the reservation code to him - his friend [who was taking him part-way to Little Rock to get the train] showed up, and he got off the phone without establishing that I'd pick him up, that he'd look for me, etc. My feeling was confirmed as the day wound on, when he didn't call me. Today, he's on the train [right now, the bus connector] to Houston, and I'm wondering - should I go to the train station to pick him up? What is his plan? Is this another youngster who's just scamming what they can?
Been working this afternoon on amended tax returns for a client who walked in. Have a woman who mailed me a new loan application, but I'm not sure about whether I can do anything for her.
My [very young] friend Steve is coming to see the show tonight. I think that Lynette [my friend who directed me in this show the first time] may be coming tonight as well.
Monday, July 21, 2003
Another Monday
Had dinner with Dr. John last night. Very pleasant evening; lots of great conversation. I skipped the theater's annual awards show (which was late six weeks.) The bitter part of my heart won out; the show/event was a flop (as compared to what I had built it into.)
I was just exhausted yesterday - this show takes a lot out of me.
Chris was very complimentary of me Saturday night, but told me that some people at the theater still think I'm there to cause trouble. Very disheartening.
Found a gorgeous 1971 Impy online today -
Also found [after years of searching] a triple black 1973 4-door Imperial. I just wrote and asked for pictures.
Tonight, I'm going to work at de-dogging my apartment - it's just coated in dog dander and hair.
Talked to Dr. John last night at length about how he transformed his body. It sounds interesting. I may have to do something like that. I've decided to spend this week on an apple fast - try to clear out my system some. It's been weeks since I've had any alcohol at all; now I have to see about doing something like he did for myself.
I just wonder if I'm really cut out for sales/marketing. Hmm. That's what is occupying my thoughts today.
Had dinner with Dr. John last night. Very pleasant evening; lots of great conversation. I skipped the theater's annual awards show (which was late six weeks.) The bitter part of my heart won out; the show/event was a flop (as compared to what I had built it into.)
I was just exhausted yesterday - this show takes a lot out of me.
Chris was very complimentary of me Saturday night, but told me that some people at the theater still think I'm there to cause trouble. Very disheartening.
Found a gorgeous 1971 Impy online today -
Also found [after years of searching] a triple black 1973 4-door Imperial. I just wrote and asked for pictures.
Tonight, I'm going to work at de-dogging my apartment - it's just coated in dog dander and hair.
Talked to Dr. John last night at length about how he transformed his body. It sounds interesting. I may have to do something like that. I've decided to spend this week on an apple fast - try to clear out my system some. It's been weeks since I've had any alcohol at all; now I have to see about doing something like he did for myself.
I just wonder if I'm really cut out for sales/marketing. Hmm. That's what is occupying my thoughts today.
Monday, July 14, 2003
28 days after ..
My friend Kurtis took pity on me today and took me out to dinner and to see a movie [which is identified in the title to this blog.] He's just the nicest man; don't confuse him with Curtis, who's got different issues.
What a movie!
Anyway, it's about time to walk the mutts and think about getting some sleep, so I'll just note that I got the insurance crisis fixed, and am on to the next dilemma - the loan investor who doesn't answer the phone.
Cheers!
My friend Kurtis took pity on me today and took me out to dinner and to see a movie [which is identified in the title to this blog.] He's just the nicest man; don't confuse him with Curtis, who's got different issues.
What a movie!
Anyway, it's about time to walk the mutts and think about getting some sleep, so I'll just note that I got the insurance crisis fixed, and am on to the next dilemma - the loan investor who doesn't answer the phone.
Cheers!
Some days, it just seems that you'd be better off serving coffee at Starbucks
So, today, I've been running around trying to get insurance solved on this file that should be funding [paying me money] today. The title company tells me one thing, the insurance agent another, and the lender something else entirely. And everyone's telling me that they can't do it that way.
Thus, I'm frustrated and have a headache.
I'm starting to work on getting my law license reinstated, and running into nine year old roadblocks there as well. I'll have to go down to the courthouse, probably on Wednesday, to work on that some more.
In betwixt and between phone calls about this insurance issue, I get a phone call from the Upshur Country [TX] jail. Um .. that's where PJ is.
So, I answered.
Guess what! He wants money. (rolls eyes) He's been in jail for three months, but didn't want to tell me what it was for. He's coming back to Houston sometime soon.
Oh, my.
So, today, I've been running around trying to get insurance solved on this file that should be funding [paying me money] today. The title company tells me one thing, the insurance agent another, and the lender something else entirely. And everyone's telling me that they can't do it that way.
Thus, I'm frustrated and have a headache.
I'm starting to work on getting my law license reinstated, and running into nine year old roadblocks there as well. I'll have to go down to the courthouse, probably on Wednesday, to work on that some more.
In betwixt and between phone calls about this insurance issue, I get a phone call from the Upshur Country [TX] jail. Um .. that's where PJ is.
So, I answered.
Guess what! He wants money. (rolls eyes) He's been in jail for three months, but didn't want to tell me what it was for. He's coming back to Houston sometime soon.
Oh, my.
Sunday, July 13, 2003
Okay, so I've been busy with the show and everything ...
The show opened, and it's going very well. I was starting to hear some compliments on my performance; I still feel [to a considerable degree] like a total outsider at the theater that I helped run for five years. No rehearsals this week - so no theater commitment until Friday night for the new performance.
Not starting the new dream job tomorrow morning - if you didn't hear, they [Ameriquest] decided to close the Houston office rather than move into their new suite. Very strange. No word from BofA or Countrywide on their level of interest, if any.
I did buy some new work clothes to go with the dream job, and for interviewing purposes. I feel a whole lot better about myself [and more motivated to work] when I get a little cleaned up and dressed up.
Working on midnight again, and the putative room mate is not yet home. He goes out about four nights a week. I call him "putative" room mate, because he's staying here for free, and I'm having flashbacks of ALL the people I've let hang out in my "extra" bedroom(s) over the years.
Nat came over today, and we hung out watching movies. I need to go grocery shopping in the WORST way.
Two days to payday.
Picked up the cell phone from Curtis, and got him to take nearly all of his clothing a week ago. Waiting to borrow Buffy Season Four from my friend James.
That's about all the news that's news. More in the morning.
The show opened, and it's going very well. I was starting to hear some compliments on my performance; I still feel [to a considerable degree] like a total outsider at the theater that I helped run for five years. No rehearsals this week - so no theater commitment until Friday night for the new performance.
Not starting the new dream job tomorrow morning - if you didn't hear, they [Ameriquest] decided to close the Houston office rather than move into their new suite. Very strange. No word from BofA or Countrywide on their level of interest, if any.
I did buy some new work clothes to go with the dream job, and for interviewing purposes. I feel a whole lot better about myself [and more motivated to work] when I get a little cleaned up and dressed up.
Working on midnight again, and the putative room mate is not yet home. He goes out about four nights a week. I call him "putative" room mate, because he's staying here for free, and I'm having flashbacks of ALL the people I've let hang out in my "extra" bedroom(s) over the years.
Nat came over today, and we hung out watching movies. I need to go grocery shopping in the WORST way.
Two days to payday.
Picked up the cell phone from Curtis, and got him to take nearly all of his clothing a week ago. Waiting to borrow Buffy Season Four from my friend James.
That's about all the news that's news. More in the morning.
Friday, June 27, 2003
Mid-day update ..
Well, my divorce client's loan approval was on the fax this morning when I came in - very nice! I have some legal files to work on, but I'm so DAMNED unmotivated.
I feel like going home and having a nap, then baking some bread. I should stay here on the off chance that someone calls. I sit. I wait.
I wrote a new poem, I'll post it when I get home. I think I'm also going to pull my computer apart and find out why the printer won't work. Oh, yes - and the filing.
My friend Dave just sent me a link to an airliner parody website. Now, I have something to do!
Well, my divorce client's loan approval was on the fax this morning when I came in - very nice! I have some legal files to work on, but I'm so DAMNED unmotivated.
I feel like going home and having a nap, then baking some bread. I should stay here on the off chance that someone calls. I sit. I wait.
I wrote a new poem, I'll post it when I get home. I think I'm also going to pull my computer apart and find out why the printer won't work. Oh, yes - and the filing.
My friend Dave just sent me a link to an airliner parody website. Now, I have something to do!
A month? It's been a month?
Well, I guess ..
A fine Friday morning here; I have a new loan to work on when I get into the office, and I have some other work to crank out today. I have to manage my work flow, or I'll run out. If I run out, I don't even like going over to the office.
I have a totally free weekend - amazing! Rehearsal for tonight was cancelled, the Pride parade is tomorrow evening, but other than that, I have totally got nothing scheduled. I do want to go to this new loft complex over by the ballpark called Alexan lofts, and check out an apartment that I may want to move into around Christmas time. But, I so love my apartment now - it's just the right layout and size for me, and its location is primo.
My new job starts in just three weeks. Well, two weeks from Monday. I'm nervous about telling Michael that I'm leaving, and trying to figure out a way to break it to him that he doesn't go ballistic.
I have one and only one project for the weekend - to catch up on my filing here at home. I have everything in orderly piles next to the filing cabinet, and now, it remains for me to create the file folders, type up the labels, and put everything away.
I had a dream this morning about my "friend" Jenny, with whom I have strife from time to time. In my dream, I called her on the phone and she was still sullen and crappy - and I told her how the cow ate the cabbage. It was kind of a fun dream, actually.
Still wondering how I'm going to pay rent next week, since I haven't had any loan closings since early June. I have some money coming in from different sources, but will it all add up? Talking to this guy about rooming with me for a few months while my income gets ramped up - I emailed him last night, but haven't heard from him just yet.
Other than that, there isn't much to tell. I'm wondering why my car payment hasn't been deducted from my checking account just yet. I think I've lost a few pounds. Hm. That's about it.
I'll have more to say in the morning, I hope - thanks for waiting.
Divo ...
Well, I guess ..
A fine Friday morning here; I have a new loan to work on when I get into the office, and I have some other work to crank out today. I have to manage my work flow, or I'll run out. If I run out, I don't even like going over to the office.
I have a totally free weekend - amazing! Rehearsal for tonight was cancelled, the Pride parade is tomorrow evening, but other than that, I have totally got nothing scheduled. I do want to go to this new loft complex over by the ballpark called Alexan lofts, and check out an apartment that I may want to move into around Christmas time. But, I so love my apartment now - it's just the right layout and size for me, and its location is primo.
My new job starts in just three weeks. Well, two weeks from Monday. I'm nervous about telling Michael that I'm leaving, and trying to figure out a way to break it to him that he doesn't go ballistic.
I have one and only one project for the weekend - to catch up on my filing here at home. I have everything in orderly piles next to the filing cabinet, and now, it remains for me to create the file folders, type up the labels, and put everything away.
I had a dream this morning about my "friend" Jenny, with whom I have strife from time to time. In my dream, I called her on the phone and she was still sullen and crappy - and I told her how the cow ate the cabbage. It was kind of a fun dream, actually.
Still wondering how I'm going to pay rent next week, since I haven't had any loan closings since early June. I have some money coming in from different sources, but will it all add up? Talking to this guy about rooming with me for a few months while my income gets ramped up - I emailed him last night, but haven't heard from him just yet.
Other than that, there isn't much to tell. I'm wondering why my car payment hasn't been deducted from my checking account just yet. I think I've lost a few pounds. Hm. That's about it.
I'll have more to say in the morning, I hope - thanks for waiting.
Divo ...
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
Okay, so I haven't had that much to say lately.
Another successful day at trying to move loans into closing. Things are going a little better than they looked on Friday morning, and hopefully two loans will close this week.
Since this is how I make a living, we think this is a very good thing.
Michael was in today - having the same conversation with yet another person who has no interest in being in the mortgage business. He seems to think that if he finds a bunch of people in real estate, insurance, stocks, etc. that he can talk into being loan officers, they'll magically produce business (that I will have to manage for free) and he will get richer.
I think he's not paying attention.
Anyway, my young friend David stopped by today, and I helped him with his resume. While working with him, I was extolling the virtues of employment search on Starbucks' website, and found two fine positions for my own self. One in San Francisco, and one in Seattle. Then, I read an email from the Mortgage Training Institute, with whom I just took a class, and they are recruiting for instructors. Hello, Mary! I'm there. I filled out my third online application for the day.
Other than that, I didn't get a whole lot accomplished. Got a file stacked and out for delivery. Did some quotes for potential new business. That was about it.
Talked to Jeffrey today about the Golden Girls thing in Austin. Boy, did I make the right call in not going. It was trailer park heaven with old cars. I had fun with Larry and his crew in Dallas.
Rehearsal tonight. Came home to find that Jackie had again busted out of the kitchen and peed in the living room. I haven't had the heart to check the bedroom yet.
She's now leashed to the laundry room door, where she will stay except when she's outside. I just had the carpeting shampooed, and she's now made two big wet spots.
Lovely.
I'm thinking about going dogless, frankly.
Other than that, nothing much is new. I got my car inspected today. I still love "Matrix Reloaded" regardless.
Why does nearly everybody miss the primary point of the whole movie?
And why does Rick think it's appropriate to attack me all the time now? He's such a horse's ass most of the time. I'm thinking about refraining from visiting there anymore.
Like starting this Sunday.
Well, keep your fingers crossed for me and the mortgage institute gig. That would be awesome!
Another successful day at trying to move loans into closing. Things are going a little better than they looked on Friday morning, and hopefully two loans will close this week.
Since this is how I make a living, we think this is a very good thing.
Michael was in today - having the same conversation with yet another person who has no interest in being in the mortgage business. He seems to think that if he finds a bunch of people in real estate, insurance, stocks, etc. that he can talk into being loan officers, they'll magically produce business (that I will have to manage for free) and he will get richer.
I think he's not paying attention.
Anyway, my young friend David stopped by today, and I helped him with his resume. While working with him, I was extolling the virtues of employment search on Starbucks' website, and found two fine positions for my own self. One in San Francisco, and one in Seattle. Then, I read an email from the Mortgage Training Institute, with whom I just took a class, and they are recruiting for instructors. Hello, Mary! I'm there. I filled out my third online application for the day.
Other than that, I didn't get a whole lot accomplished. Got a file stacked and out for delivery. Did some quotes for potential new business. That was about it.
Talked to Jeffrey today about the Golden Girls thing in Austin. Boy, did I make the right call in not going. It was trailer park heaven with old cars. I had fun with Larry and his crew in Dallas.
Rehearsal tonight. Came home to find that Jackie had again busted out of the kitchen and peed in the living room. I haven't had the heart to check the bedroom yet.
She's now leashed to the laundry room door, where she will stay except when she's outside. I just had the carpeting shampooed, and she's now made two big wet spots.
Lovely.
I'm thinking about going dogless, frankly.
Other than that, nothing much is new. I got my car inspected today. I still love "Matrix Reloaded" regardless.
Why does nearly everybody miss the primary point of the whole movie?
And why does Rick think it's appropriate to attack me all the time now? He's such a horse's ass most of the time. I'm thinking about refraining from visiting there anymore.
Like starting this Sunday.
Well, keep your fingers crossed for me and the mortgage institute gig. That would be awesome!
Wednesday, April 16, 2003
Feelin' lazy -
Well, tax season is over, fans, and it's time for me to get back into the groove of doing mortgage lending. I have a voice lesson in a little while, and I haven't felt like working ALL day today. I have gotten a few things done and accomplished, but overall, I've just been seated here, surfing the net today.
Tonight, I'm having dinner with Brian, who's just the sweetest youn-un around. Tomorrow is a busy day, with two closings and a loan application in the evening. Friday is, of course, Good Friday, and the "tax season is over" party put on by my business partner.
It's Easter weekend, and I'm singing in our little "church" on Sunday. Then, I think that a number of us are headed to Galveston for lunch.
More after I have dinner tonight!
Well, tax season is over, fans, and it's time for me to get back into the groove of doing mortgage lending. I have a voice lesson in a little while, and I haven't felt like working ALL day today. I have gotten a few things done and accomplished, but overall, I've just been seated here, surfing the net today.
Tonight, I'm having dinner with Brian, who's just the sweetest youn-un around. Tomorrow is a busy day, with two closings and a loan application in the evening. Friday is, of course, Good Friday, and the "tax season is over" party put on by my business partner.
It's Easter weekend, and I'm singing in our little "church" on Sunday. Then, I think that a number of us are headed to Galveston for lunch.
More after I have dinner tonight!
Friday, April 11, 2003
Time to relax, time to blog
Ah, I almost don't know what to say. All of the tax returns are done save one. I have people who need to come in and sign, and a number of people who have clamored for attention in these last four days of tax season, but I'm all caught up. Both of my loan closings are put off because of title problems. I have two new loans to work on in the most serious way, but I'm just about taxes today. Michael alleges that he will be here by 4:30, and so I'm going to be ready for him.
Tonight, I'm supposed to be going to Kurtis and David's to talk about our little business project.
Ah, I almost don't know what to say. All of the tax returns are done save one. I have people who need to come in and sign, and a number of people who have clamored for attention in these last four days of tax season, but I'm all caught up. Both of my loan closings are put off because of title problems. I have two new loans to work on in the most serious way, but I'm just about taxes today. Michael alleges that he will be here by 4:30, and so I'm going to be ready for him.
Tonight, I'm supposed to be going to Kurtis and David's to talk about our little business project.
Wednesday, April 09, 2003
Busy days and sleepless nights
I've been up to my nipples in tax returns, and my new marketing piece has the phone ringing every few minutes. I think I sold two new loans today, which is excellent. I have a bunch of loan work to get caught up on, and that's a good thing.
I'm just SORE - I've been typing all day, and talking on the phone. How is it that I feel beaten up?
B cancelled on me for our sort of dinner engagement tonight. So, that's fine. I can use a quiet night after I finish all the tax clients today. Matthew (remember him?) called today; I'm taking him to dinner tomorow night, and Curtis is still expected over last night at 8:00.
Yeah, sure.
I get to see Lloyd tomorrow - thank GOD.
So many things to spend money on. Ugh.
More later on, I'm sure. Just thought I'd post a note.
I've been up to my nipples in tax returns, and my new marketing piece has the phone ringing every few minutes. I think I sold two new loans today, which is excellent. I have a bunch of loan work to get caught up on, and that's a good thing.
I'm just SORE - I've been typing all day, and talking on the phone. How is it that I feel beaten up?
B cancelled on me for our sort of dinner engagement tonight. So, that's fine. I can use a quiet night after I finish all the tax clients today. Matthew (remember him?) called today; I'm taking him to dinner tomorow night, and Curtis is still expected over last night at 8:00.
Yeah, sure.
I get to see Lloyd tomorrow - thank GOD.
So many things to spend money on. Ugh.
More later on, I'm sure. Just thought I'd post a note.
Tuesday, April 08, 2003
If there's ice cream, do you really need a man?
(this was from last night, but due to server issues, I couldn't get it posted)
It's a quiet Monday evening here at the casita de Divo, formerly known as the Divo House for Wayward Boys. I've watched an old episode of "Star Trek," mopped the tile floors, pulled the white clothes out of the dryer, washed the throw rugs and vacuumed.
That's enough for one evening. I still have to fold the white clothes, and watch the other episode of "Star Trek."
I'm back to spitting on the floor whenever I speak of men (spits on floor.)
Several developments relating to Curtis:
1.) Thursday last, Curtis dropped in on E and me. Curtis has a hard time understanding that gay men can share the same physical space without getting naked. During his visit, he wanted to get cleaned up so that he could visit some friends down in Sugar Land. While in the shower, E had to pee. Curtis was somewhat frisky while E was in there, and there are two digital photos of Curtis in the shower. On E's website.
2.) After the party, Curtis came back. I went to bed. E and C were up and chatting. Curtis (who, according to E, oozes sex from every pore) gave a sort of back-handed come-on. E went to bed.
3.) Friday night, Curtis said he was coming over. His water pump on his truck was going out; it was nearly 10:00 and auto parts stores were generally closed. He didn't think his truck would make it, so he was going to go to a friend's house. I went to bed.
4.) Saturday morning, Curtis was at my door at 7:15 a.m. I was barely awake. I shuffled about, made coffee, and Curtis got a call from his girlfriend. She and he had a screaming match at 7:45 in the morning that lasted until after 8:15. I'm sure my neighbors now visualize axles under my apartment. Trailer queen.
5.) I took Curtis to Auto Zone. Bought him a new water pump ($20) radiator hose and two gallons of Prestone (another $20) Dropped him off at his truck. Went to class, then to work.
6.) At work, around 5:00 on Saturday, Curtis called from a Suzuki dealer. He wanted to know if I would co-sign for him so he could buy an ATV. This from the guy that couldn't buy a rebuilt water pump for $20 that morning. I prevaricated.
7.) Curtis said he was coming over after 11:00 Saturday night to spend the night. I went to bed, sound in the knowledge that I would be undisturbed.
8.) Curtis called a couple of times Sunday. He kept asking about the ATV. Said he had to take his girlfriend to school Monday morning.
9.) Curtis called today, twice. Once in the morning, while I was making a bank deposit, and the other later in the afternoon. Said he was coming over straight away after work. ATV again. It's now 9:16 p.m., and I haven't heard from him. In a short while, I'm going to take the dogs outside and go to bed again.
10.) He just showed up; 11:15 at night - said he just got off work. He's whipped.
I've been promising myself that I wouldn't answer the phone when Curtis calls. I think that I should start doing that.
San Jac asked me to lunch today (resked from last week.) The dean of the continuing ed department showed up. The conversation had very little to do with me (nothing, in fact) and everything to do with free legal and business advice about setting up a consulting firm that they could market outside the college's area. So, I answered questions and gave advice -
Until -
The dean left, the instructor went to the bathroom, and I was able to ask the director of corporate education if there were any classes that I could teach coming up. The short answer = no.
I think I need to write to Auntie Rev.
That's enough for tonight, fans. More later.
D -
(this was from last night, but due to server issues, I couldn't get it posted)
It's a quiet Monday evening here at the casita de Divo, formerly known as the Divo House for Wayward Boys. I've watched an old episode of "Star Trek," mopped the tile floors, pulled the white clothes out of the dryer, washed the throw rugs and vacuumed.
That's enough for one evening. I still have to fold the white clothes, and watch the other episode of "Star Trek."
I'm back to spitting on the floor whenever I speak of men (spits on floor.)
Several developments relating to Curtis:
1.) Thursday last, Curtis dropped in on E and me. Curtis has a hard time understanding that gay men can share the same physical space without getting naked. During his visit, he wanted to get cleaned up so that he could visit some friends down in Sugar Land. While in the shower, E had to pee. Curtis was somewhat frisky while E was in there, and there are two digital photos of Curtis in the shower. On E's website.
2.) After the party, Curtis came back. I went to bed. E and C were up and chatting. Curtis (who, according to E, oozes sex from every pore) gave a sort of back-handed come-on. E went to bed.
3.) Friday night, Curtis said he was coming over. His water pump on his truck was going out; it was nearly 10:00 and auto parts stores were generally closed. He didn't think his truck would make it, so he was going to go to a friend's house. I went to bed.
4.) Saturday morning, Curtis was at my door at 7:15 a.m. I was barely awake. I shuffled about, made coffee, and Curtis got a call from his girlfriend. She and he had a screaming match at 7:45 in the morning that lasted until after 8:15. I'm sure my neighbors now visualize axles under my apartment. Trailer queen.
5.) I took Curtis to Auto Zone. Bought him a new water pump ($20) radiator hose and two gallons of Prestone (another $20) Dropped him off at his truck. Went to class, then to work.
6.) At work, around 5:00 on Saturday, Curtis called from a Suzuki dealer. He wanted to know if I would co-sign for him so he could buy an ATV. This from the guy that couldn't buy a rebuilt water pump for $20 that morning. I prevaricated.
7.) Curtis said he was coming over after 11:00 Saturday night to spend the night. I went to bed, sound in the knowledge that I would be undisturbed.
8.) Curtis called a couple of times Sunday. He kept asking about the ATV. Said he had to take his girlfriend to school Monday morning.
9.) Curtis called today, twice. Once in the morning, while I was making a bank deposit, and the other later in the afternoon. Said he was coming over straight away after work. ATV again. It's now 9:16 p.m., and I haven't heard from him. In a short while, I'm going to take the dogs outside and go to bed again.
10.) He just showed up; 11:15 at night - said he just got off work. He's whipped.
I've been promising myself that I wouldn't answer the phone when Curtis calls. I think that I should start doing that.
San Jac asked me to lunch today (resked from last week.) The dean of the continuing ed department showed up. The conversation had very little to do with me (nothing, in fact) and everything to do with free legal and business advice about setting up a consulting firm that they could market outside the college's area. So, I answered questions and gave advice -
Until -
The dean left, the instructor went to the bathroom, and I was able to ask the director of corporate education if there were any classes that I could teach coming up. The short answer = no.
I think I need to write to Auntie Rev.
That's enough for tonight, fans. More later.
D -
Thursday, April 03, 2003
Impluse shopping
I have cleared off my desk to a degree; I have my homework from my Self-Mastery class sitting here, waiting to be worked on (I have class on Saturday, and I think I'm four weeks behind in the reading and such.) E leaves for LA tomorrow around 11:00; then it's all afternoon to work on it, I guess.
Last night, had Brian over, and I asked E if he would look at my Animatronics Marvin the Martin thing - Brian figured out that the volume switch also works as an on/off switch, it started right up .. and a gear broke inside. Now, it looks like I'll have to ship it off to have it repaired.
We went shopping at Fry's yesterday, briefly, and they have a hard disc recorder for the home stereo that is SO cool. It's marked down to $199 (from $599) and has a 10 gig hard drive. I could put all of my cassette music on it! I need it like I need another hole in my head, but ..
While there, I bought the 1975 version of "Rollerball." Talk about impulse buying. It was only ten bucks, but .. yeesh. I started playing it last night, and it moves SO slowly. The production values are very "Sonny and Cher" from the mid-1970s.
Going to see "Allegria" tonight -
This trip has been interesting - we're plotting to rebuild my home computer; new motherboard, new processor, new RAM memory, etc. We'd reuse the hard drive, the sound card, monitor, keyboard, etc. It's all going to cost about $400, I think. Eric and Brian will rebuild the D-machine in late April.
Still having major connectivity issues at home with my cable. It's the network card, or something. REALLY irritating.
Well, I've emptied my mind of the random blog-stuff. More later...
I have cleared off my desk to a degree; I have my homework from my Self-Mastery class sitting here, waiting to be worked on (I have class on Saturday, and I think I'm four weeks behind in the reading and such.) E leaves for LA tomorrow around 11:00; then it's all afternoon to work on it, I guess.
Last night, had Brian over, and I asked E if he would look at my Animatronics Marvin the Martin thing - Brian figured out that the volume switch also works as an on/off switch, it started right up .. and a gear broke inside. Now, it looks like I'll have to ship it off to have it repaired.
We went shopping at Fry's yesterday, briefly, and they have a hard disc recorder for the home stereo that is SO cool. It's marked down to $199 (from $599) and has a 10 gig hard drive. I could put all of my cassette music on it! I need it like I need another hole in my head, but ..
While there, I bought the 1975 version of "Rollerball." Talk about impulse buying. It was only ten bucks, but .. yeesh. I started playing it last night, and it moves SO slowly. The production values are very "Sonny and Cher" from the mid-1970s.
Going to see "Allegria" tonight -
This trip has been interesting - we're plotting to rebuild my home computer; new motherboard, new processor, new RAM memory, etc. We'd reuse the hard drive, the sound card, monitor, keyboard, etc. It's all going to cost about $400, I think. Eric and Brian will rebuild the D-machine in late April.
Still having major connectivity issues at home with my cable. It's the network card, or something. REALLY irritating.
Well, I've emptied my mind of the random blog-stuff. More later...
Tuesday, April 01, 2003
Happy April Fool's Day!
Been working today on taxes, and more taxes. Still can't get one balance sheet to balance, have another one that doesn't have enough deductions, etc., etc.
Not a peep out of San Jacinto college on the check issue. And to think I was teaching "customer service" skills. (shakes head)
Eric is being worked to death. We're going to R&Rs house tonight for dinner, and such. More later - have to print more tax returns!
Been working today on taxes, and more taxes. Still can't get one balance sheet to balance, have another one that doesn't have enough deductions, etc., etc.
Not a peep out of San Jacinto college on the check issue. And to think I was teaching "customer service" skills. (shakes head)
Eric is being worked to death. We're going to R&Rs house tonight for dinner, and such. More later - have to print more tax returns!
Monday, March 31, 2003
My Karma ran over my Dogma
I'm just sure I have some fucked up karma from some past life, because I just have so much trouble getting paid for work effort - no one else I know goes through this crap.
Today, I was to meet the San Jacinto College women to discuss some scheduling and options; that meeting got cancelled. Still interested in picking up my paycheck, I asked and was told to drive over to their campus (21 miles each way) When I got there, I found out that not only was there no check, but that they had not processed my vendor paperwork that they've had for two months.
So, my career with San Jac is very short. VERY short.
I had this bizarre dream last night about teaching in front of a big room of people, teaching FHA loan procedures. I had half regular college students, and half industry regulars, and needed a microphone to speak in front of so many people.
I'm just wiped out. It's nearly 4:00 and I'm about to leave for home. Brian is coming over later; he's very upset about his boyfriend situation. Eric and I are going grocery shopping after work today.
In other news, Michael said he was going to pay me for the profit sharing, but he hasn't finished the book keeping. I don't know just what's going to come of that, but he says he's paying on the Monday after payday (which falls on a weekend.)
Have I mentioned that I'm ready for a nap now?
I'm just sure I have some fucked up karma from some past life, because I just have so much trouble getting paid for work effort - no one else I know goes through this crap.
Today, I was to meet the San Jacinto College women to discuss some scheduling and options; that meeting got cancelled. Still interested in picking up my paycheck, I asked and was told to drive over to their campus (21 miles each way) When I got there, I found out that not only was there no check, but that they had not processed my vendor paperwork that they've had for two months.
So, my career with San Jac is very short. VERY short.
I had this bizarre dream last night about teaching in front of a big room of people, teaching FHA loan procedures. I had half regular college students, and half industry regulars, and needed a microphone to speak in front of so many people.
I'm just wiped out. It's nearly 4:00 and I'm about to leave for home. Brian is coming over later; he's very upset about his boyfriend situation. Eric and I are going grocery shopping after work today.
In other news, Michael said he was going to pay me for the profit sharing, but he hasn't finished the book keeping. I don't know just what's going to come of that, but he says he's paying on the Monday after payday (which falls on a weekend.)
Have I mentioned that I'm ready for a nap now?
Wednesday, March 26, 2003
He should be on his mettle ..
So. The Supremes have had oral argument (in itself a double entendre) over whether same sex activity should be regulated by the State of Texas, or (on the other hand) whether it violates the Equal Protection Clause of the Constitution to only apply such laws to same sex couples and not mixed sex couples.
The arguments, if you haven't reviewed them, were bizarre, if not hypocritical.
The District Attorney for Harris County (where I live) inherited this mess, and found himself arguing against something that, in my mind, he clearly didn't think was any of the state's business.
Gotta love Renquist and Scalia - they'll distort and twist any logic path to reach their ideologic goals.
So, as of today, I'm still a criminal. Well, not TODAY.
Two days until E's arrival from YVR - and he's been silent today.
I figured out just how little I'm making doing these tax returns, and .. she's CRABBY about making a bad business deal.
Only 16 more days of tax stuff, and I can bag it.
I think I found the marketing direction that I want to take for the new line of business - once we get our FHA approval, anyway. I have to work on THAT with everything else that's going on.
Sandra Gunn has some stunning lofts available - three in the Renoir that I would love to live in. Come on, bring in those winning lotto numbers!
I don't think I've spoken much about my friend Tom (Owen) in Poznan, Poland. He's been out of touch lately - he caught his boyfriend cheating on him, went through a terrible depression for about two weeks, and then met some OTHER guy on the net, whom he claims he's marrying come May, and moving to Kobenhaven with.
Uh - hello? Rebound? Issues?
Anyway, I need to get off to bed - so I can get up and do more tax returns. Tomorrow, I have at least four to complete. All of my loans are in waiting for underwriting response or appraisals, and Michael's loans are dead in the water. Unresponsive clients.
No big surprise.
Well, good night all .. I'm still birthing that new poem.
So. The Supremes have had oral argument (in itself a double entendre) over whether same sex activity should be regulated by the State of Texas, or (on the other hand) whether it violates the Equal Protection Clause of the Constitution to only apply such laws to same sex couples and not mixed sex couples.
The arguments, if you haven't reviewed them, were bizarre, if not hypocritical.
The District Attorney for Harris County (where I live) inherited this mess, and found himself arguing against something that, in my mind, he clearly didn't think was any of the state's business.
Gotta love Renquist and Scalia - they'll distort and twist any logic path to reach their ideologic goals.
So, as of today, I'm still a criminal. Well, not TODAY.
Two days until E's arrival from YVR - and he's been silent today.
I figured out just how little I'm making doing these tax returns, and .. she's CRABBY about making a bad business deal.
Only 16 more days of tax stuff, and I can bag it.
I think I found the marketing direction that I want to take for the new line of business - once we get our FHA approval, anyway. I have to work on THAT with everything else that's going on.
Sandra Gunn has some stunning lofts available - three in the Renoir that I would love to live in. Come on, bring in those winning lotto numbers!
I don't think I've spoken much about my friend Tom (Owen) in Poznan, Poland. He's been out of touch lately - he caught his boyfriend cheating on him, went through a terrible depression for about two weeks, and then met some OTHER guy on the net, whom he claims he's marrying come May, and moving to Kobenhaven with.
Uh - hello? Rebound? Issues?
Anyway, I need to get off to bed - so I can get up and do more tax returns. Tomorrow, I have at least four to complete. All of my loans are in waiting for underwriting response or appraisals, and Michael's loans are dead in the water. Unresponsive clients.
No big surprise.
Well, good night all .. I'm still birthing that new poem.
Tuesday, March 25, 2003
When a man's an empty kettle ..
Nearly 16:30 and I have just a half hour left to go. I have a tax return that I'm taking a break from. Suddenly, I'm up to my nipples in tax returns. I have mortgages to work on, and this impedes my ability to work on both. However, I'll get more caught up tomorrow, and we'll just see where things go. Our $15 off campaign seems to be bringing people in out of the woodwork.
Time Warner cable now thinks that there is something wrong with my cable signal, and they're coming out tomorrow afternoon to check it out.
Last night, Matthew was perfectly willing to be picked up and fed, but he "just wants to be friends." I think he was angling for a personal reference. Over that, I was playing a computer game on my new 19" monitor about 11:00 last night, when Curtis called. Yes, the same Curtis whom I gave up on yesterday. He was drunk, had just had a fight with his girlfriend, and said he was headed over. He never made it.
Tonight, if he calls, I'm not answering the phone.
We have a big possibility of thunderstorms tonight. Fun!
Only three days to the arrival of E from Vancouver (YVR).
Finally heard from San Jacinto College today; lunch on Monday includes payday and the return of my passport.
I was beginning to wonder.
Tonight, I'm baking more bread, and have to do some more cleaning around the house. Damn, there is just so much that needs doing all the time! I shouldn't have played with Matthew last night.
I feel a poem coming on. It hasn't made it to the fore yet.
More later, if I have my cable connection.
Nearly 16:30 and I have just a half hour left to go. I have a tax return that I'm taking a break from. Suddenly, I'm up to my nipples in tax returns. I have mortgages to work on, and this impedes my ability to work on both. However, I'll get more caught up tomorrow, and we'll just see where things go. Our $15 off campaign seems to be bringing people in out of the woodwork.
Time Warner cable now thinks that there is something wrong with my cable signal, and they're coming out tomorrow afternoon to check it out.
Last night, Matthew was perfectly willing to be picked up and fed, but he "just wants to be friends." I think he was angling for a personal reference. Over that, I was playing a computer game on my new 19" monitor about 11:00 last night, when Curtis called. Yes, the same Curtis whom I gave up on yesterday. He was drunk, had just had a fight with his girlfriend, and said he was headed over. He never made it.
Tonight, if he calls, I'm not answering the phone.
We have a big possibility of thunderstorms tonight. Fun!
Only three days to the arrival of E from Vancouver (YVR).
Finally heard from San Jacinto College today; lunch on Monday includes payday and the return of my passport.
I was beginning to wonder.
Tonight, I'm baking more bread, and have to do some more cleaning around the house. Damn, there is just so much that needs doing all the time! I shouldn't have played with Matthew last night.
I feel a poem coming on. It hasn't made it to the fore yet.
More later, if I have my cable connection.
Monday, March 24, 2003
Day five - in either direction
I need some coffee. It's about 10:30 in the morning, and I'm just sifting through the detritus on my desk, getting ready to start doing actual work. It's day five of the "war," and five days to the arrival of Eric from Vancouver.
Well, five days by the calendar. In number of hours, it's four days and some change.
Dallas was fun. It was nice to get away. I have new tires on Ruby - a Wal-Mart/Sams house brand of Goodyears that look great, seem a little nervous, and ride very quietly and smoothly. In fact, the car now rides like dream whip.
Made it home in 3 1/2 hours on the nose with no stops. Jackie had expressed her displeasure at being left behind with a big dump in my bedroom, which was mercifully dry.
I have a gazillion things to do before E arrives on Friday evening; bought a computer monitor from Larry in Dallas, which I need to install, need to get all of my record-keeping up to date and put away, clean, empty out a few drawers for E and his visit here, and figure out what the heck to do with my bicycle.
Aside from riding it, I mean.
I'm giving up on Curtis. Both on getting my money repaid (like that's ever going to happen - I knew better and had no expectations) and on him ever being more than just an occasional lay when it fits his schedule. And, I'm not going to make myself available for him as I have been doing.
No more favors.
Matthew called today; he was very excited about a job interview in the leasing office where I live. I guess we're going to hang out tonight for a while.
Okay, time for a break from income tax and to go home to empty the mutts! More later.
I need some coffee. It's about 10:30 in the morning, and I'm just sifting through the detritus on my desk, getting ready to start doing actual work. It's day five of the "war," and five days to the arrival of Eric from Vancouver.
Well, five days by the calendar. In number of hours, it's four days and some change.
Dallas was fun. It was nice to get away. I have new tires on Ruby - a Wal-Mart/Sams house brand of Goodyears that look great, seem a little nervous, and ride very quietly and smoothly. In fact, the car now rides like dream whip.
Made it home in 3 1/2 hours on the nose with no stops. Jackie had expressed her displeasure at being left behind with a big dump in my bedroom, which was mercifully dry.
I have a gazillion things to do before E arrives on Friday evening; bought a computer monitor from Larry in Dallas, which I need to install, need to get all of my record-keeping up to date and put away, clean, empty out a few drawers for E and his visit here, and figure out what the heck to do with my bicycle.
Aside from riding it, I mean.
I'm giving up on Curtis. Both on getting my money repaid (like that's ever going to happen - I knew better and had no expectations) and on him ever being more than just an occasional lay when it fits his schedule. And, I'm not going to make myself available for him as I have been doing.
No more favors.
Matthew called today; he was very excited about a job interview in the leasing office where I live. I guess we're going to hang out tonight for a while.
Okay, time for a break from income tax and to go home to empty the mutts! More later.
Monday, March 17, 2003
Another glorious day in Baghdad on the Bayou!
It's just gorgeous; sunny, clear, 70s. I've been working on loans today, which I've let slide while I worked on my friend's tax returns these last couple of weeks. I have three reluctant clients; I don't quite understand WHY they're so reoluctant, but they are.
I'm so looking forward to the trip to Dallas tomorrow.
Put Curtis' clothes in a couple of drawers - just had enough of having them in the laundry basket on the guest room bed. It was time. I think I have a substantial portion of his clothing - how does he get along?
Just chatted [briefly] with a boy from Dallas - he wants $1000 to meet for a night! Uh - I just was saying 'hello?'
It's just gorgeous; sunny, clear, 70s. I've been working on loans today, which I've let slide while I worked on my friend's tax returns these last couple of weeks. I have three reluctant clients; I don't quite understand WHY they're so reoluctant, but they are.
I'm so looking forward to the trip to Dallas tomorrow.
Put Curtis' clothes in a couple of drawers - just had enough of having them in the laundry basket on the guest room bed. It was time. I think I have a substantial portion of his clothing - how does he get along?
Just chatted [briefly] with a boy from Dallas - he wants $1000 to meet for a night! Uh - I just was saying 'hello?'
Normal? Is this normal?
So, after a day of cleaning my apartment, catching up on my contact lists, and doing laundry, I went to R&R's for dinner and to pick up their tax stuff this afternoon around 4:00. The plan for the day was 1.) help get their QuickBooks up and ready for tax preparation, 2.) pick up tax information for all three tax returns, 3.) have pork roast (there's a bunch in the 'fridge for lunch .. yummy!) and 4.) watch the HBO Sunday night line-up.
Normal Sunday for the Divo.
I really wasn't expecting to hear from Curtis for a while - he was off to the rodeo with his girlfriend, et al. Richard (the R in R&R) is my best friend, and very easy to spend time with .. we noshed, drank red wine and generally hung out. Rick (the R in R&R) came home around 8:15, and jumped into the middle of "Six Feet Under" with us.
During the presentation of "Six Feet Under" [note to producers - make it interesting - hurry] the daughter's new "boyfriend," who's really not a boyfriend because he sees other people, and won't commit to the daughter has a brief conversation with Ruth, the mother. I'm thinking Ruthie is about to explore the sapphic side of her personality, but I digress. During this conversation, the boyfriend (who just has the most amazing body, and this goofy, boyish face .. ) is talking about how soon you can call after a date.
Now, Ruth hasn't had a date, she's had an outing with Kathy Bates, but things look frisky.
The answer was "at least a few days. You can't look like you're chasing them." Or something along that line.
So, I'm watching this, and I'm thinking "I'll just let Curtis cool off for a while and let him call me next."
Be careful what you wish for; you may get it.
About halfway through the [very well done] HBO movie "Normal," my cell phone rings. It's Curtis. He's drunk. He's outside the rodeo, and he's waiting for a ride home from his mother; his truck is in Humble, and he rode with some friends who had a fight and now, he needs a way back. He's very chatty, and again makes the assumption that all gay guys are fucking each other. I corrected him on that score, and asked him what he was doing after work tomorrow [Monday,] inasmuch as I wanted to see him before I left for Dallas on Friday afternoon.
Which lead to an examination [on his part] of my going to Dallas, what's in Dallas, why I was going to Dallas, where I was staying, &c. THREE (can you hear me roll my "r?") times he said "Erin won't let me go to Dallas." However, he started to ask her what was IN Dallas to see, and she wandered off.
At least she wasn't screaming at him.
Now, him being the behind-hand communicator that he is, and me having 44.4895 years of experience in dealing with such communication patterns, I'm thinking he's planning on going with me, and I'll find out Thursday night or Friday morning.
Should I warn Larry?
I'm just amazed and amused. Normal? What's normal, anyway?
So, after a day of cleaning my apartment, catching up on my contact lists, and doing laundry, I went to R&R's for dinner and to pick up their tax stuff this afternoon around 4:00. The plan for the day was 1.) help get their QuickBooks up and ready for tax preparation, 2.) pick up tax information for all three tax returns, 3.) have pork roast (there's a bunch in the 'fridge for lunch .. yummy!) and 4.) watch the HBO Sunday night line-up.
Normal Sunday for the Divo.
I really wasn't expecting to hear from Curtis for a while - he was off to the rodeo with his girlfriend, et al. Richard (the R in R&R) is my best friend, and very easy to spend time with .. we noshed, drank red wine and generally hung out. Rick (the R in R&R) came home around 8:15, and jumped into the middle of "Six Feet Under" with us.
During the presentation of "Six Feet Under" [note to producers - make it interesting - hurry] the daughter's new "boyfriend," who's really not a boyfriend because he sees other people, and won't commit to the daughter has a brief conversation with Ruth, the mother. I'm thinking Ruthie is about to explore the sapphic side of her personality, but I digress. During this conversation, the boyfriend (who just has the most amazing body, and this goofy, boyish face .. ) is talking about how soon you can call after a date.
Now, Ruth hasn't had a date, she's had an outing with Kathy Bates, but things look frisky.
The answer was "at least a few days. You can't look like you're chasing them." Or something along that line.
So, I'm watching this, and I'm thinking "I'll just let Curtis cool off for a while and let him call me next."
Be careful what you wish for; you may get it.
About halfway through the [very well done] HBO movie "Normal," my cell phone rings. It's Curtis. He's drunk. He's outside the rodeo, and he's waiting for a ride home from his mother; his truck is in Humble, and he rode with some friends who had a fight and now, he needs a way back. He's very chatty, and again makes the assumption that all gay guys are fucking each other. I corrected him on that score, and asked him what he was doing after work tomorrow [Monday,] inasmuch as I wanted to see him before I left for Dallas on Friday afternoon.
Which lead to an examination [on his part] of my going to Dallas, what's in Dallas, why I was going to Dallas, where I was staying, &c. THREE (can you hear me roll my "r?") times he said "Erin won't let me go to Dallas." However, he started to ask her what was IN Dallas to see, and she wandered off.
At least she wasn't screaming at him.
Now, him being the behind-hand communicator that he is, and me having 44.4895 years of experience in dealing with such communication patterns, I'm thinking he's planning on going with me, and I'll find out Thursday night or Friday morning.
Should I warn Larry?
I'm just amazed and amused. Normal? What's normal, anyway?
Sunday, March 16, 2003
Whirling dirvish ..
Curtis called last night about 8:30. He was in the neighborhood. Not that it wasn't an effort on his part to GET into the neighborhood - he lives nearly 30 miles away. He had worked from 8:30 to nearly 7:30, and was exhausted. His girlfriend was .. yes, you guessed it, screaming at him. He just wanted to be quiet, I guess, which fit into my evening plan just fine. He got here around 9:15, and flopped on the sofa, watching the movie I put in. I made him some scrambled eggs, and when the movie was over, he rolled over and fell asleep. I threw the afghan over him and went to bed.
This morning, he wasn't very talkative - got himself pulled together to go to the rodeo today; took his razor thing, but left all the clothes, as per the norm. I've had a basket of his laundry here for weeks. I am thinking of doing something radical like putting it into drawers.
Today, I had planned to work on my Quicken data entry and filing all of the receipts and documents that have taken over the guest room bed. HAH! I cleaned instead. Spent the whole day listening to "classic disco" on my TWC "Music Choice." I'm nuts if I think that I need XM radio; this is already paid for in my cable bill.
Have just a few more things that I have to get done before going to R&R's for dinner/HBO Sunday tonight. So, I need to jump on it.
And, sorry, Mikey for expecting you to be unhappy with me about leaving your birthday celebration early. =)
Curtis called last night about 8:30. He was in the neighborhood. Not that it wasn't an effort on his part to GET into the neighborhood - he lives nearly 30 miles away. He had worked from 8:30 to nearly 7:30, and was exhausted. His girlfriend was .. yes, you guessed it, screaming at him. He just wanted to be quiet, I guess, which fit into my evening plan just fine. He got here around 9:15, and flopped on the sofa, watching the movie I put in. I made him some scrambled eggs, and when the movie was over, he rolled over and fell asleep. I threw the afghan over him and went to bed.
This morning, he wasn't very talkative - got himself pulled together to go to the rodeo today; took his razor thing, but left all the clothes, as per the norm. I've had a basket of his laundry here for weeks. I am thinking of doing something radical like putting it into drawers.
Today, I had planned to work on my Quicken data entry and filing all of the receipts and documents that have taken over the guest room bed. HAH! I cleaned instead. Spent the whole day listening to "classic disco" on my TWC "Music Choice." I'm nuts if I think that I need XM radio; this is already paid for in my cable bill.
Have just a few more things that I have to get done before going to R&R's for dinner/HBO Sunday tonight. So, I need to jump on it.
And, sorry, Mikey for expecting you to be unhappy with me about leaving your birthday celebration early. =)
Friday, March 14, 2003
Just one day earlier, and it could have been Friday the 13th!
Today is my friend Mikey's birthday (observed.) So, he wants me to go out with him tonight, even though I have to get up and be out of the house by 8:00 in the morning to teach. So, he's going to be unhappy with me when I leave at around 10:00 to go home.
Another busy weekend; I have to get caught up on my financial record-keeping, and I have to start taking my bike out and riding it.
My friend Marty Wright is back in wholesale lending; and she is my account rep with Matrix - so, I talked to her today for a while - I just love her - and she is helping me get set up to do FHA lending and VA lending. WHOO HOO!
The whole plan is moving forward.
Not a word from San Jacinto - we were supposed to be getting together to discuss my further participation with them .. and nada.
Tonight may be a Curtis evening, but there are no reliable indicators of what will happen.
I haven't been a productive doo-bee today; I have moved a few things forward, but for the most part, it was spent getting concepts moved forward as distinct from actual work. I guess that's all the same thing - it all has to be done to get things moving. I just have to work on these tax returns, and I'm kind of .. over it? For the moment.
I'm so looking forward to going to see Larry in Dallas next weekend. I didn't get to see him in Dallas ALL of last year. So, this is going to be terrific. I get to write off the whole trip, since I'm going to go amend his tax returns, do his will and work on financing an investment property for him. It's a business trip!
I'm thinking that it's time for me to go on the Sugar Busters diet - I need to get the book and make it part of my living.
Finally had lunch with Karl the realtor - he's a neat guy; I like him. I hope he and I can start doing more business together.
More as the weekend develops!
Today is my friend Mikey's birthday (observed.) So, he wants me to go out with him tonight, even though I have to get up and be out of the house by 8:00 in the morning to teach. So, he's going to be unhappy with me when I leave at around 10:00 to go home.
Another busy weekend; I have to get caught up on my financial record-keeping, and I have to start taking my bike out and riding it.
My friend Marty Wright is back in wholesale lending; and she is my account rep with Matrix - so, I talked to her today for a while - I just love her - and she is helping me get set up to do FHA lending and VA lending. WHOO HOO!
The whole plan is moving forward.
Not a word from San Jacinto - we were supposed to be getting together to discuss my further participation with them .. and nada.
Tonight may be a Curtis evening, but there are no reliable indicators of what will happen.
I haven't been a productive doo-bee today; I have moved a few things forward, but for the most part, it was spent getting concepts moved forward as distinct from actual work. I guess that's all the same thing - it all has to be done to get things moving. I just have to work on these tax returns, and I'm kind of .. over it? For the moment.
I'm so looking forward to going to see Larry in Dallas next weekend. I didn't get to see him in Dallas ALL of last year. So, this is going to be terrific. I get to write off the whole trip, since I'm going to go amend his tax returns, do his will and work on financing an investment property for him. It's a business trip!
I'm thinking that it's time for me to go on the Sugar Busters diet - I need to get the book and make it part of my living.
Finally had lunch with Karl the realtor - he's a neat guy; I like him. I hope he and I can start doing more business together.
More as the weekend develops!
Tuesday, March 11, 2003
What's wrong with this picture?
So, last night - was the closest to a "date" that Curtis and I have had. We went to the rodeo, had margaritas. When he came over, he got dressed out of the laundry basket that contains all of his clean clothes at my apartment. As per the norm, his girlfriend was demanding his attention over the phone - twice before we made it to the shuttle bus. I could hear her screaming at him as he told her that he had simply forgotten to take his phone with him. She accused him of intentionally leaving the phone behind so that he could avoid her and try to pick up women at the rodeo.
The new stadium is awesome - the tickets that my friend Kimberly gave me were terrific. Still, I sat there wondering WHAT I was doing there with Curtis, who couldn't leave well enough alone, and kept calling his girlfriend for more abuse. He's fun to be with, different from my norm, so it's all interesting. He looked like a working cowboy last night (as distinct from a city cowboy.)
That, and the rodeo is the rodeo - it's just NOT ever anything really different. Jerry Jeff Walker gave an inspired and lively performance, and Clint Black was terrific. Country music, however, just isn't my thing.
Also, I have to say that the loud beating of the drums of war put a damper on my mood. Clint Black performed a jingoistic song about attacking Iraq (free for download from his website! http://www.clintblack.com ) and Curtis was telling me on the way over that he thought the USA needed to attack Iraq to show the world we wouldn't take it [the 9/11/01 attacks on the USA] lying down.
Oh, and there was a three minute multi-media presentation at the beginning of the rodeo "show" hosted by Reliant Energy. It started off innocuously enough - images of the space shuttle with the entirely predictable "Proud to be an American" playing in the background. However, this morphed into images of USA weaponry flying and driving by, and fully half of the presentation was in the glorification of American military power.
Why do I feel so like it's the waning days of peace before the US attacked Spain in 1898? Or, worse, that this was what Germany was like in August, 1939 - right before they invaded Poland?
Anyway, after watching the whole show (we were among the fewer than 1000 people left watching the end of Black's performance) we walked outside to check out the midway (which was HUGE) and so on. Curtis wanted to ride the mechanical bull, but I wanted to go home.
He asked me several times why I wasn't more enthusiastic ...
Uh, it's because I'm at the rodeo with a young man that has no upside potential, and partly on this "date" with his girlfriend by phone, and bombarded with jingoistic sentiment?
However the evening did make me want to get Texans season tickets.
Tonight, Jeffrey and Steven have invited me over to dinner. Very nice. I'm going to try to see if I can help them with some financial advice.
Oh, and after Curtis having her scream at him the entire bus ride home from the rodeo .. he spent the night with me again.
So, last night - was the closest to a "date" that Curtis and I have had. We went to the rodeo, had margaritas. When he came over, he got dressed out of the laundry basket that contains all of his clean clothes at my apartment. As per the norm, his girlfriend was demanding his attention over the phone - twice before we made it to the shuttle bus. I could hear her screaming at him as he told her that he had simply forgotten to take his phone with him. She accused him of intentionally leaving the phone behind so that he could avoid her and try to pick up women at the rodeo.
The new stadium is awesome - the tickets that my friend Kimberly gave me were terrific. Still, I sat there wondering WHAT I was doing there with Curtis, who couldn't leave well enough alone, and kept calling his girlfriend for more abuse. He's fun to be with, different from my norm, so it's all interesting. He looked like a working cowboy last night (as distinct from a city cowboy.)
That, and the rodeo is the rodeo - it's just NOT ever anything really different. Jerry Jeff Walker gave an inspired and lively performance, and Clint Black was terrific. Country music, however, just isn't my thing.
Also, I have to say that the loud beating of the drums of war put a damper on my mood. Clint Black performed a jingoistic song about attacking Iraq (free for download from his website! http://www.clintblack.com ) and Curtis was telling me on the way over that he thought the USA needed to attack Iraq to show the world we wouldn't take it [the 9/11/01 attacks on the USA] lying down.
Oh, and there was a three minute multi-media presentation at the beginning of the rodeo "show" hosted by Reliant Energy. It started off innocuously enough - images of the space shuttle with the entirely predictable "Proud to be an American" playing in the background. However, this morphed into images of USA weaponry flying and driving by, and fully half of the presentation was in the glorification of American military power.
Why do I feel so like it's the waning days of peace before the US attacked Spain in 1898? Or, worse, that this was what Germany was like in August, 1939 - right before they invaded Poland?
Anyway, after watching the whole show (we were among the fewer than 1000 people left watching the end of Black's performance) we walked outside to check out the midway (which was HUGE) and so on. Curtis wanted to ride the mechanical bull, but I wanted to go home.
He asked me several times why I wasn't more enthusiastic ...
Uh, it's because I'm at the rodeo with a young man that has no upside potential, and partly on this "date" with his girlfriend by phone, and bombarded with jingoistic sentiment?
However the evening did make me want to get Texans season tickets.
Tonight, Jeffrey and Steven have invited me over to dinner. Very nice. I'm going to try to see if I can help them with some financial advice.
Oh, and after Curtis having her scream at him the entire bus ride home from the rodeo .. he spent the night with me again.
Monday, March 10, 2003
Truth is stranger than fiction -
What a weekend.
Friday night, was quiet, and got ready to teach on Saturday morning. Saturday was a pillar to post kind of a day; up and out to teach at 8:45, then home, then immediately to lunch with Nicole, then to Richard's to help him with QuickBooks, then home to empty mutts and out to have dinner with Dr. John. Then, Curtis called and asked if I wanted to go bowling with him. In Conroe.
For those who don't know, I live downtown in Houston, and Conroe is .. 40 miles north of me.
So, I trekked to Humble (not on the way to Conroe except that it's north of me) to pick up Curtis, his girlfriend, and her brother - then cut over on 1960 to I-45 north and drove to the bowling alley in Conroe.
At 11:00 at night.
Of course, no one [but me] had any money, so I ended up paying for all four of us.
Curtis' girlfriend threw a fit because she wasn't bowling very well, and the rest of us bowled until about 1:45. As we were packing up, I asked Curtis if he was spending the night at his girlfriend's house.
Turns out, he had in mind to come spend the night with me, leaving his truck at his girlfriend's house, then me driving him back on Sunday.
In the car Saturday night, he was talking about how he and she would be married now if not for somethingorother, and blah, blah, blah. When she put our names into the bowling computer, I noticed that she was already starting to use his last name.
Then, yesterday, he asked me to introduce him to some nice downtown women - I said "I thought you were getting married!"
"No, he says, just because she's pregnant doesn't mean I have to make the mistake bigger by marrying her."
Good lord.
Okay, back to preparing tax returns. More later. Curtis is going to the rodeo with me tonight.
What a weekend.
Friday night, was quiet, and got ready to teach on Saturday morning. Saturday was a pillar to post kind of a day; up and out to teach at 8:45, then home, then immediately to lunch with Nicole, then to Richard's to help him with QuickBooks, then home to empty mutts and out to have dinner with Dr. John. Then, Curtis called and asked if I wanted to go bowling with him. In Conroe.
For those who don't know, I live downtown in Houston, and Conroe is .. 40 miles north of me.
So, I trekked to Humble (not on the way to Conroe except that it's north of me) to pick up Curtis, his girlfriend, and her brother - then cut over on 1960 to I-45 north and drove to the bowling alley in Conroe.
At 11:00 at night.
Of course, no one [but me] had any money, so I ended up paying for all four of us.
Curtis' girlfriend threw a fit because she wasn't bowling very well, and the rest of us bowled until about 1:45. As we were packing up, I asked Curtis if he was spending the night at his girlfriend's house.
Turns out, he had in mind to come spend the night with me, leaving his truck at his girlfriend's house, then me driving him back on Sunday.
In the car Saturday night, he was talking about how he and she would be married now if not for somethingorother, and blah, blah, blah. When she put our names into the bowling computer, I noticed that she was already starting to use his last name.
Then, yesterday, he asked me to introduce him to some nice downtown women - I said "I thought you were getting married!"
"No, he says, just because she's pregnant doesn't mean I have to make the mistake bigger by marrying her."
Good lord.
Okay, back to preparing tax returns. More later. Curtis is going to the rodeo with me tonight.
Wednesday, March 05, 2003
perhaps the third time's the charm
Okay, so this will be the third time I try to post this.
It's another rainy afternoon in Baghdad on the Bayou. My friend Larry calls Houston by that name, and I don't know if it's for the politics or the climate, but I like it.
So, it stays.
Saw Curtis last night. He came over about midnight, which woke me up, and spent the night. Seems he's gotten his 19 year old girlfriend pregnant, and he's very happy about it.
I think it's akin to putting a shotgun to your head and pulling the trigger. But that's just me.
My poem "Bumper Cars" has been selected for publication in a book by poetry.com "because of its unique perspective and vision." Plus, they want to sell me a book for fifty bucks.
Yep. Fifty bucks. Oh, if I want a personal profile about myself, I have to pay $25.00 for that.
Sounds like a scam. However, I can now add "published poet" to my list of accomplishments.
Curtis needed to borrow some money - he's been spending his time either sick or driving his girlfriend around for a family health emergency and hasn't been working. He paid me back once; I guess I'm pushing the envelope.
Speaking of bois and their needs, I heard from PJ last week. He sent a nice email; but after only an exchange of ONE set of messages, the truth came out - he wants something. This time - for me to create a fake tax document for him so that he can pretend he had a job and income and can get an apartment.
Yeah, right.
About to crack open some files and get more work done, then tonight, R&R are bribing me with dinner to continue helping them with their QuickBooks. Tomorrow night, Brian is coming over for divo-ghetti, which will be fun.
Did another tax return for a "displaced person" today. In other words, someone who had a job, lost the job, couldn't find other work and is now living at friends' homes or under a bridge. There but for the grace of God ..
Eric from Vancouver is coming down in the next few weeks to work on some websites for me and to generally raise the energy level. He operates at a pre-school/nuclear power plant level, and should make things quite lively. I'm looking forward to him coming down. He's just "right between the eyes" direct. Calls a spade a spade.
Other than that, things are same-ol', same-ol'. I complete five full years of living in my apartment at the end of this month - I think that this is the longest that I've lived anywhere since I moved from my mom's house.
Now, if I could just put down a nice, taupe ceramic or stone tile on the floor ...
And that's the way it is .. for hump day, March 5.
Safe travels...
Okay, so this will be the third time I try to post this.
It's another rainy afternoon in Baghdad on the Bayou. My friend Larry calls Houston by that name, and I don't know if it's for the politics or the climate, but I like it.
So, it stays.
Saw Curtis last night. He came over about midnight, which woke me up, and spent the night. Seems he's gotten his 19 year old girlfriend pregnant, and he's very happy about it.
I think it's akin to putting a shotgun to your head and pulling the trigger. But that's just me.
My poem "Bumper Cars" has been selected for publication in a book by poetry.com "because of its unique perspective and vision." Plus, they want to sell me a book for fifty bucks.
Yep. Fifty bucks. Oh, if I want a personal profile about myself, I have to pay $25.00 for that.
Sounds like a scam. However, I can now add "published poet" to my list of accomplishments.
Curtis needed to borrow some money - he's been spending his time either sick or driving his girlfriend around for a family health emergency and hasn't been working. He paid me back once; I guess I'm pushing the envelope.
Speaking of bois and their needs, I heard from PJ last week. He sent a nice email; but after only an exchange of ONE set of messages, the truth came out - he wants something. This time - for me to create a fake tax document for him so that he can pretend he had a job and income and can get an apartment.
Yeah, right.
About to crack open some files and get more work done, then tonight, R&R are bribing me with dinner to continue helping them with their QuickBooks. Tomorrow night, Brian is coming over for divo-ghetti, which will be fun.
Did another tax return for a "displaced person" today. In other words, someone who had a job, lost the job, couldn't find other work and is now living at friends' homes or under a bridge. There but for the grace of God ..
Eric from Vancouver is coming down in the next few weeks to work on some websites for me and to generally raise the energy level. He operates at a pre-school/nuclear power plant level, and should make things quite lively. I'm looking forward to him coming down. He's just "right between the eyes" direct. Calls a spade a spade.
Other than that, things are same-ol', same-ol'. I complete five full years of living in my apartment at the end of this month - I think that this is the longest that I've lived anywhere since I moved from my mom's house.
Now, if I could just put down a nice, taupe ceramic or stone tile on the floor ...
And that's the way it is .. for hump day, March 5.
Safe travels...
Sunday, February 16, 2003
Apres Valentine's Day
Mikey came over today, and worked on my PC. It's MUCH improved; things that haven't worked right since we updated the Windows are now working, although the printer/scanner thing is still not functional. We also went and had pictures developed, shopped for birthday cards, gay stuff, used DVDs and groceries. It was a nice afternoon; he left around 5:00 and then I goofed around, did more laundry and watched HBO Sunday.
Back to San Jacinto tomorrow for another meeting to help secure my future employment. I have to go to Memorial Park tomorrow after work, and start trading evening lay about time for evening walk six miles time.
Also got caught up on sending emails tonight, and some other communication issues. Still haven't balanced my checkbook, or paid bills. Something about needing to have income first.
Realized that I did create a marketing plan more than a year ago; Michael just never read or commented on it. John (Michael's brother-in-law) seems to like what I've written.
Have a bunch of little things to do tomorrow morning at work; I may even get some work done.
Nothing profound to write tonight - just realized that playing with bisexual guys is a waste of time; they are just not after the same thing, ultimately. Curtis is a nice lad, but it's time for him to move along. Him and the rest of his ilk.
Best wishes for the new week to you, gentle reader.
D -
Mikey came over today, and worked on my PC. It's MUCH improved; things that haven't worked right since we updated the Windows are now working, although the printer/scanner thing is still not functional. We also went and had pictures developed, shopped for birthday cards, gay stuff, used DVDs and groceries. It was a nice afternoon; he left around 5:00 and then I goofed around, did more laundry and watched HBO Sunday.
Back to San Jacinto tomorrow for another meeting to help secure my future employment. I have to go to Memorial Park tomorrow after work, and start trading evening lay about time for evening walk six miles time.
Also got caught up on sending emails tonight, and some other communication issues. Still haven't balanced my checkbook, or paid bills. Something about needing to have income first.
Realized that I did create a marketing plan more than a year ago; Michael just never read or commented on it. John (Michael's brother-in-law) seems to like what I've written.
Have a bunch of little things to do tomorrow morning at work; I may even get some work done.
Nothing profound to write tonight - just realized that playing with bisexual guys is a waste of time; they are just not after the same thing, ultimately. Curtis is a nice lad, but it's time for him to move along. Him and the rest of his ilk.
Best wishes for the new week to you, gentle reader.
D -
Wednesday, February 12, 2003
To XM or not to XM
Over the last few weeks, I've been thinking about subscribing to XM radio; I love the "toy" aspect of the service. However, the question remained - am I someone who would pay $10 a month for radio service?
Last night, I went to Richard & Rick's for dinner, and was trying to listen to the new 80's station in the car. They advertise that they have the FEWEST commercials.
The entire 14 minute trip over there - commercials.
So, yes, I am someone who would pay for satellite radio.
Things are slow as molasses in February here at the office. No, or few tax returns each day, loan referrals have nearly stopped, and I believe I ran off the only realtor who was giving me business, because I wouldn't put up with his abusive nonsense anymore.
We haven't been doing marketing, and things just seem to have stopped.
This was rather what I was afraid of when things started to go well with San Jacinto college - that the business that was supporting me and my life would fall apart as soon as the new thing manifested.
Scary.
This business just so sucks - the grocery store hasn't closed and funded; it's been put off another two days, which puts the funding into next week, which means .. I'm still anxious and feeling broke.
Curtis is actually paying me back, which is a world first - I gave a boi some money, and he's driving over tonight, the night he promised originally, to pay me back.
I don't know if I will know how to act.
Did I mention [here] that UH-CL has reniged on expanding my teaching schedule? I think I have.
I guess it's time to start thinking about what's next for me ..
More later.
Over the last few weeks, I've been thinking about subscribing to XM radio; I love the "toy" aspect of the service. However, the question remained - am I someone who would pay $10 a month for radio service?
Last night, I went to Richard & Rick's for dinner, and was trying to listen to the new 80's station in the car. They advertise that they have the FEWEST commercials.
The entire 14 minute trip over there - commercials.
So, yes, I am someone who would pay for satellite radio.
Things are slow as molasses in February here at the office. No, or few tax returns each day, loan referrals have nearly stopped, and I believe I ran off the only realtor who was giving me business, because I wouldn't put up with his abusive nonsense anymore.
We haven't been doing marketing, and things just seem to have stopped.
This was rather what I was afraid of when things started to go well with San Jacinto college - that the business that was supporting me and my life would fall apart as soon as the new thing manifested.
Scary.
This business just so sucks - the grocery store hasn't closed and funded; it's been put off another two days, which puts the funding into next week, which means .. I'm still anxious and feeling broke.
Curtis is actually paying me back, which is a world first - I gave a boi some money, and he's driving over tonight, the night he promised originally, to pay me back.
I don't know if I will know how to act.
Did I mention [here] that UH-CL has reniged on expanding my teaching schedule? I think I have.
I guess it's time to start thinking about what's next for me ..
More later.
Friday, February 07, 2003
the importance of chicken soup
Also, the importance of not overloading your computer with too many active windows ...
Yesterday, I was sick. The kind of sick that makes where you are TOO out of it to hope that death takes you before the next wave of stomach distress comes over you. I slept 22 hours yesterday, was in bed so long that my body hurt from just being reclined.
Have you ever been so sore that you couldn't find a comfortable position? I can't imagine what it must be like to be incapacitated in bed for weeks or months.
After getting up to call in sick, I slept until 4:50 yesterday afternoon. I called my friend James and left him a voice mail asking him to please pick me up some chicken soup, since I needed to eat SOMETHING.
An hour later, he was at my door, Progresso soup and comfort in hand.
James is just the kind of friend that everyone must have to have a successful life. He's what they were talking about when they said "Chicken Soup for the Soul."
Just was on the Airliners.net website looking at their aviation forums - they had one series that was a hoot - best airliner nicknames. My favorite was for the Tupelov Tu-154 (a Russian copy of the Boeing 727) - called "727 diesel."
I have to make cinnamon rolls tonight for class tomorrow (in church.)
Working this weekend, working on personal financial record keeping, working here at work, working (on Sunday) on Richard and Rick's financial record keeping (why are they setting up QuickBooks? Rick won't use it.)
Oh boy. Another weekend with no prospect for down time.
Curtis is going to see WWF tonight with his girlfriend. I'm sure I'll see him sometime this weekend, since he needs to pick up his laundry.
Bill has packed up his fish tank, and has moved on/up. I need to have my own conversation with Michael about commission structures and the like here.
Also, the importance of not overloading your computer with too many active windows ...
Yesterday, I was sick. The kind of sick that makes where you are TOO out of it to hope that death takes you before the next wave of stomach distress comes over you. I slept 22 hours yesterday, was in bed so long that my body hurt from just being reclined.
Have you ever been so sore that you couldn't find a comfortable position? I can't imagine what it must be like to be incapacitated in bed for weeks or months.
After getting up to call in sick, I slept until 4:50 yesterday afternoon. I called my friend James and left him a voice mail asking him to please pick me up some chicken soup, since I needed to eat SOMETHING.
An hour later, he was at my door, Progresso soup and comfort in hand.
James is just the kind of friend that everyone must have to have a successful life. He's what they were talking about when they said "Chicken Soup for the Soul."
Just was on the Airliners.net website looking at their aviation forums - they had one series that was a hoot - best airliner nicknames. My favorite was for the Tupelov Tu-154 (a Russian copy of the Boeing 727) - called "727 diesel."
I have to make cinnamon rolls tonight for class tomorrow (in church.)
Working this weekend, working on personal financial record keeping, working here at work, working (on Sunday) on Richard and Rick's financial record keeping (why are they setting up QuickBooks? Rick won't use it.)
Oh boy. Another weekend with no prospect for down time.
Curtis is going to see WWF tonight with his girlfriend. I'm sure I'll see him sometime this weekend, since he needs to pick up his laundry.
Bill has packed up his fish tank, and has moved on/up. I need to have my own conversation with Michael about commission structures and the like here.
Wednesday, February 05, 2003
Well, I asked for a sign
Be careful what you wish for.
Bill, from all appearances, is about to pack up his shovel and pail and head for another sandbox. I like him, but it's probably for the best all around.
According to the IRS, Michael's making his employees pay the employer portion of FUTA and Medicare tax is illegal, and so I'm thinking of spending part of my weekend calculating how much he's shorted me over the last year, and telling him about it.
That, and a raise.
Tonight, I promised Jeffrey yet again that I would go to the car club monthly meeting, and lo - Dr. John called and was having an emotional crisis of sorts, and he kept me until 8:15 talking about it. So, I missed it yet again.
I love Jeffrey and Steven to DEATH, but that car club paradigm is like trying to socialize with the two newest debutantes - their dance card is PACKED, and I just stand around looking at the same old cars and the same old queens while they try to keep up, socially.
Tomorrow night, I'm going to be working until about 9:00 - retail hours to accomodate two girls who need their taxes done and can't get there before 8:00. The check cashing store down the street is sending, on average, three new tax customers a day down to me, and that's awesome.
Heard from a recruiter today - a woman I haven't heard from in two years. Suddenly, this morning, she calls. Amazing. I'll see what they have to offer.
Another night that I just can't sleep to save my life.
Curtis came over last night around midnight; which of course, woke me up. I guess I got back to bed around 1:00 or so. I don't know when he came to bed; but he clearly tried to watch some television before he did.
No one (who doesn't resemble me and live here) can figure out how to just watch the cable TV at my place. They always try to tune with the TV, and not with the cable box. That, and they can't figure out that everything is routed through the stereo receiver.
It's always amusing.
I've been thinking about putting new wheels on Ruby - she needs tires, but wheels are excelsior. Then, as I was walking the mutts for the fourth time today, I got to thinking that I could probably get a decent 32 - 36" TV for the price of four wheels ($650) and do that instead of the new wheels.
So, I'm thinking.
Wrote to Chris Ayres tonight for the first time in a while. Only three and a half months until auditions for "Forum," and I have GOT to be the best that auditions.
Well, that's all I can think of for tonight. No profundity. Later!
Be careful what you wish for.
Bill, from all appearances, is about to pack up his shovel and pail and head for another sandbox. I like him, but it's probably for the best all around.
According to the IRS, Michael's making his employees pay the employer portion of FUTA and Medicare tax is illegal, and so I'm thinking of spending part of my weekend calculating how much he's shorted me over the last year, and telling him about it.
That, and a raise.
Tonight, I promised Jeffrey yet again that I would go to the car club monthly meeting, and lo - Dr. John called and was having an emotional crisis of sorts, and he kept me until 8:15 talking about it. So, I missed it yet again.
I love Jeffrey and Steven to DEATH, but that car club paradigm is like trying to socialize with the two newest debutantes - their dance card is PACKED, and I just stand around looking at the same old cars and the same old queens while they try to keep up, socially.
Tomorrow night, I'm going to be working until about 9:00 - retail hours to accomodate two girls who need their taxes done and can't get there before 8:00. The check cashing store down the street is sending, on average, three new tax customers a day down to me, and that's awesome.
Heard from a recruiter today - a woman I haven't heard from in two years. Suddenly, this morning, she calls. Amazing. I'll see what they have to offer.
Another night that I just can't sleep to save my life.
Curtis came over last night around midnight; which of course, woke me up. I guess I got back to bed around 1:00 or so. I don't know when he came to bed; but he clearly tried to watch some television before he did.
No one (who doesn't resemble me and live here) can figure out how to just watch the cable TV at my place. They always try to tune with the TV, and not with the cable box. That, and they can't figure out that everything is routed through the stereo receiver.
It's always amusing.
I've been thinking about putting new wheels on Ruby - she needs tires, but wheels are excelsior. Then, as I was walking the mutts for the fourth time today, I got to thinking that I could probably get a decent 32 - 36" TV for the price of four wheels ($650) and do that instead of the new wheels.
So, I'm thinking.
Wrote to Chris Ayres tonight for the first time in a while. Only three and a half months until auditions for "Forum," and I have GOT to be the best that auditions.
Well, that's all I can think of for tonight. No profundity. Later!
Tuesday, February 04, 2003
So, sometimes I have good taste
Of late, I've been focusing on trying to maintain my sanity and trying to help Curtis through some rough times.
Tonight, Scott asked me to come work with him (which I'm seriously thinking about) and Curtis dropped in at the restaurant where we were having a glass of wine. Curtis dropped in to pick up a few dollars that I was loaning him to cover his picking up his dog and cat from the animal shelter (long story) until he gets his paycheck.
Scott about popped out an ovum or two upon seeing Curtis. He about fainted after Curtis got up and left - he had the vapours.
So - to work with Scott or not? Is the grass greener?
University of Houston - Clear Lake, in a totally predictable move, reniged on their promise of increasing my teaching schedule by 100% and so I'm back to the old eight Saturdays a year.
You are as flexible as you can possibly be, helpful, prompt, a rave with the students -
And they still fuck you.
San Jac called today - hopefully, that will go better.
God, please tell me which way to jump. And none of that "it's your choice" shit.
Of late, I've been focusing on trying to maintain my sanity and trying to help Curtis through some rough times.
Tonight, Scott asked me to come work with him (which I'm seriously thinking about) and Curtis dropped in at the restaurant where we were having a glass of wine. Curtis dropped in to pick up a few dollars that I was loaning him to cover his picking up his dog and cat from the animal shelter (long story) until he gets his paycheck.
Scott about popped out an ovum or two upon seeing Curtis. He about fainted after Curtis got up and left - he had the vapours.
So - to work with Scott or not? Is the grass greener?
University of Houston - Clear Lake, in a totally predictable move, reniged on their promise of increasing my teaching schedule by 100% and so I'm back to the old eight Saturdays a year.
You are as flexible as you can possibly be, helpful, prompt, a rave with the students -
And they still fuck you.
San Jac called today - hopefully, that will go better.
God, please tell me which way to jump. And none of that "it's your choice" shit.
Thursday, January 30, 2003
It's been a while since I've posted -
I've had Stevan (the dog groomer) AND Curtis staying with me this week. So, this means WAY sleep deprived. Curtis comes over around 11:00 or so and wants to play on the computer until 2:00; Stevan comes home around midnight or so and the dogs go absolutely haywire with both of them coming in. So, sleep doesn't occur until later, and, of course, when Curtis crawls into bed, that wakes me up as well.
All this and I'm not getting laid.
Tomorrow to San Antonio to help Richard's father sort out his trust and probate matters before he re-marries.
Beantown. At least this time we're staying in a hotel. Back on Saturday, so that weekend won't be a total loss.
Have to find out of Curtis is staying with me over the weekend or not. His new place isn't ready yet, so I offered to let him stay with me.
I'll think of something profound to write soon. Until then ..
Love, D -
I've had Stevan (the dog groomer) AND Curtis staying with me this week. So, this means WAY sleep deprived. Curtis comes over around 11:00 or so and wants to play on the computer until 2:00; Stevan comes home around midnight or so and the dogs go absolutely haywire with both of them coming in. So, sleep doesn't occur until later, and, of course, when Curtis crawls into bed, that wakes me up as well.
All this and I'm not getting laid.
Tomorrow to San Antonio to help Richard's father sort out his trust and probate matters before he re-marries.
Beantown. At least this time we're staying in a hotel. Back on Saturday, so that weekend won't be a total loss.
Have to find out of Curtis is staying with me over the weekend or not. His new place isn't ready yet, so I offered to let him stay with me.
I'll think of something profound to write soon. Until then ..
Love, D -
Thursday, January 23, 2003
Sunny Thursdays
Something's wrong with Ruby; while I know that she needs new tires, but driving her causes the whole front end to wobble, which seems odd. She has always had this little rumble and jolt thing in the left front brake, and I wonder if it has cut loose somehow.
Anyway.
I just likened the business that I'm in to trying to harrow a field using some teeth strung on a necklace.
Something's wrong with Ruby; while I know that she needs new tires, but driving her causes the whole front end to wobble, which seems odd. She has always had this little rumble and jolt thing in the left front brake, and I wonder if it has cut loose somehow.
Anyway.
I just likened the business that I'm in to trying to harrow a field using some teeth strung on a necklace.
Wednesday, January 22, 2003
Brrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!
Another rude north wind has stepped into town today. Today was hectic, with lots of loan inquiries, things to be worked on, and a two hour meeting with Michael about the trend of things.
I'm so looking forward to the mental background improvement of having everything organized at home, that I can hardly wait for the end of the day!
Earlier today, I peeked into gay.com, and saw this guy -
Gay.com Personals
This is someone who could get me forgetting about Curtis.
Another rude north wind has stepped into town today. Today was hectic, with lots of loan inquiries, things to be worked on, and a two hour meeting with Michael about the trend of things.
I'm so looking forward to the mental background improvement of having everything organized at home, that I can hardly wait for the end of the day!
Earlier today, I peeked into gay.com, and saw this guy -
Gay.com Personals
This is someone who could get me forgetting about Curtis.
Tuesday, January 21, 2003
The refreshment of garbage, the comfort of vinyl
Greg contacted me tonight. Ah, Greg. There was torture in the past, but what wonderful inspiration for a performance in a musical two years ago.
I spent part of tonight going through my two big, plastic file boxes and tossing old paperwork. Just for good measure, I went through my filing cabinet (now, just admit it, you immediately thought of a big, grey thing with four drawers and steel handles, rusting on the bottom, and jammed with old papers. Fie! A pox on you for imagining such a thing in MY casita!) and pulled out more old and useless paperwork. Now, I'm only one casual evening away from having all lof my papers filed in neat order. TWO big kitchen garbage bags of stuff to the trash tonight. I feel lighter already!
I may have the bed cleared off before Friday. In the guest room. My bed is cleared every night.
Sigh.
I've been listening to vinyl tonight. First were two lovely jazz albums, Cleo Lane, and then a montage of jazz singers - second was the 1977 smash album "Main Course" by the BeeGees, and now I'm listening to the sound track to "Electric Dreams," that crappy, sappy 1980s movie about a computer that takes over a guy's life. The title cut is AWESOME.
The rest of the album is crappy, though - just like the movie that spawned it.
It's so comforting to listen to vinyl. It's just so .. warm.
Yes, I know everyone and their dog has used that term to compare vinyl to CDs or other digital music, but .. it fits.
Get over it.
I'm going to be SO happy to have all this crap gone through and organized.
When Johnny died, I had quite an awakening about all this 'crap' that is so important in life. I realized that all that "stuff" he was so obsessed about was suddenly meaningless to anyone. It was just waste paper.
So, I've been going through all this stuff tonight, and tossing anything that I'm truly not going to use again, or won't be amused or happy to have saved a few years from now.
And enjoying the freedom of knowing that all this crap I've tossed out will NEVER again plague the back of my mind.
Once I'm done here, I'll be able to quickly and easily locate anything that I have kept in this apartment. Possibly for the first time since I started keeping records around 1981.
Now, I have more stuff to decide on before Friday - the big package of UPS shipper stuff, for instance. Am I really going to make a go of an eBay part time career? No, probably not. Should I keep all this stuff? No, probably not.
I have another big eBay garage sale coming up, though, so maybe I should hang on to it for a short while. My goal is to have all these dresser drawers emptied out - by the end of February.
And everything framed and up on the walls that's going.
I wish now that I had the speakers in this bedroom wired up. It would make listening to the stereo so much better in here.
Okay, time to empty the dogs and contemplate going to bed. Prayers to people in Mexico City and the surrounding areas -
And love to you, gentle readers..
Divo
Greg contacted me tonight. Ah, Greg. There was torture in the past, but what wonderful inspiration for a performance in a musical two years ago.
I spent part of tonight going through my two big, plastic file boxes and tossing old paperwork. Just for good measure, I went through my filing cabinet (now, just admit it, you immediately thought of a big, grey thing with four drawers and steel handles, rusting on the bottom, and jammed with old papers. Fie! A pox on you for imagining such a thing in MY casita!) and pulled out more old and useless paperwork. Now, I'm only one casual evening away from having all lof my papers filed in neat order. TWO big kitchen garbage bags of stuff to the trash tonight. I feel lighter already!
I may have the bed cleared off before Friday. In the guest room. My bed is cleared every night.
Sigh.
I've been listening to vinyl tonight. First were two lovely jazz albums, Cleo Lane, and then a montage of jazz singers - second was the 1977 smash album "Main Course" by the BeeGees, and now I'm listening to the sound track to "Electric Dreams," that crappy, sappy 1980s movie about a computer that takes over a guy's life. The title cut is AWESOME.
The rest of the album is crappy, though - just like the movie that spawned it.
It's so comforting to listen to vinyl. It's just so .. warm.
Yes, I know everyone and their dog has used that term to compare vinyl to CDs or other digital music, but .. it fits.
Get over it.
I'm going to be SO happy to have all this crap gone through and organized.
When Johnny died, I had quite an awakening about all this 'crap' that is so important in life. I realized that all that "stuff" he was so obsessed about was suddenly meaningless to anyone. It was just waste paper.
So, I've been going through all this stuff tonight, and tossing anything that I'm truly not going to use again, or won't be amused or happy to have saved a few years from now.
And enjoying the freedom of knowing that all this crap I've tossed out will NEVER again plague the back of my mind.
Once I'm done here, I'll be able to quickly and easily locate anything that I have kept in this apartment. Possibly for the first time since I started keeping records around 1981.
Now, I have more stuff to decide on before Friday - the big package of UPS shipper stuff, for instance. Am I really going to make a go of an eBay part time career? No, probably not. Should I keep all this stuff? No, probably not.
I have another big eBay garage sale coming up, though, so maybe I should hang on to it for a short while. My goal is to have all these dresser drawers emptied out - by the end of February.
And everything framed and up on the walls that's going.
I wish now that I had the speakers in this bedroom wired up. It would make listening to the stereo so much better in here.
Okay, time to empty the dogs and contemplate going to bed. Prayers to people in Mexico City and the surrounding areas -
And love to you, gentle readers..
Divo
Last night, I got up from bed (buzzing of the brain) and came in to write (what I thought was) a brilliant blog. Dashing, it was. I clicked "post and publish," and ..
the universe came to an end. My blog was lost. So, now I must try to re-create it. Can one ever re-create such a thing?
There were meanderings about my ongoing airport dream, about flying to Kuala Lumpur, about ....
Paradise lost.
Took some pictures of the apartment last night. I have eight more pictures on this roll to take, then I'll have the film developed.
Heard from Matthew yesterday; he's been fired, and has all the other concommitant 22 year old drama going on in his life. He still was open to having me take him someplace nice for dinner, and get him drunk on expensive booze.
Uh, no.
Trying to track down old friends today - and work on credit reports...
Hope you have a great day!
Oh, and James - thanks for bringing Vietnamese for lunch yesterday. Life has rather sucked lately, and that was a bright spot.
Friday, January 17, 2003
Apres moi, le deluge
Well, it's another day.
Just as I was starting to think that things couldn't turn around, they did. Anticipatorily, anyway.
But since human beings exist on hope, not reality, it's more important to have things LOOK like they're turning out than actually turning out.
Actually, I think I need to cook up a poem about what really drives people. That's something else on my list for tomorrow.
Curtis (as distinct from Kurtis) was supposed to come over tonight. He said that he was going to be partying at his house - I hope I talked him out of it.
Well, it's another day.
Just as I was starting to think that things couldn't turn around, they did. Anticipatorily, anyway.
But since human beings exist on hope, not reality, it's more important to have things LOOK like they're turning out than actually turning out.
Actually, I think I need to cook up a poem about what really drives people. That's something else on my list for tomorrow.
Curtis (as distinct from Kurtis) was supposed to come over tonight. He said that he was going to be partying at his house - I hope I talked him out of it.
Thursday, January 16, 2003
When is enough ENOUGH?
Today's imponderable question is: When is it enough? How long do you beat your head against the wall before throwing in the towel and starting again somewhere else? Is a year enough? When do you become sure enough that you have tried it long enough that you don't question that you moved?
15 months ago, I was unemployed in the wake of psycho Judy and the business model that spent money but developed no sales. My law school friend Michael wanted me to work with him setting up a tax preparation and [maybe] mortgage office near my apartment. He would front the money to set it up, I'd provide all the labor. I would only be paid for what I produced - a percentage of the tax prep profits, and a percentage of income from mortgages. So, we've lurched along now, with a hand written agreement that is totally non-specific as to WHEN profits would be analyzed and paid, and I've worked my tail off, even though I've harbored a grudge since before I said yes over his comment "I want to harness your brain and make money off of it."
I said yes to his proposal not because I wanted to, or because I thought it was the best opportunity, but because, frankly gentle reader, there was NOTHING ELSE TO CHOOSE FROM.
And here I am.
The mortgage business is, as Michael calls it, a commodity. All things devolve eventually into a commodity. And in a commodity market, there is nothing to distinguish the product; the only way to make income is to enhance volume. Thus, in my business, there is nothing to distinguish a user from one to the next - their choice is frequently made on the basis of a personal feeling, or arbitrary matters.
In other words, in the mortgage business, I am not unique.
There are other issues - but, the bottom line is that I struggle to make a living every month, and I just feel that I'm too damned old to have to fight to survive every month.
However, what else can I do that will support me while I try to re-create myself into an emerging marketplace, rather than being a competitor in a commodity market?
The program into which I intend to place myself is one which is truly emerging. The doctoral degree programs have only existed a few years, and I would be one of a very small number of people who would be out consulting with such credentials. It will take me three years or so to finish, and so my life needs to support me and the tuition and expenses during that period.
Since my entry into adulthood, I've never really looked at myself, until today, as being on the wrong end of the market curve. When I went to law school, I was cresting a wave or law school enrollments that broke onto the shores of humanity in the United States, swamping everyone with a glut of lawyers, all looking for some way to scratch out a living.
I started bankruptcy law just at a time that it was becoming automated; just as I was getting known and very good at it, Windows versions of the software became readily available, and anyone with a couple hundred bucks and a law license could be a "bankrtupcy lawyer."
I went into the mortgage business at the tail end of a mortgage broker's being able to well and truly accomplish something for a client; now, anyone with perfect credit can get a loan over the internet with very little effort. Mortgage brokers will fairly soon go the way of the buggy whip -
Do I want to ride that wave down to its predictable end?
Clearly, not.
Today's imponderable question is: When is it enough? How long do you beat your head against the wall before throwing in the towel and starting again somewhere else? Is a year enough? When do you become sure enough that you have tried it long enough that you don't question that you moved?
15 months ago, I was unemployed in the wake of psycho Judy and the business model that spent money but developed no sales. My law school friend Michael wanted me to work with him setting up a tax preparation and [maybe] mortgage office near my apartment. He would front the money to set it up, I'd provide all the labor. I would only be paid for what I produced - a percentage of the tax prep profits, and a percentage of income from mortgages. So, we've lurched along now, with a hand written agreement that is totally non-specific as to WHEN profits would be analyzed and paid, and I've worked my tail off, even though I've harbored a grudge since before I said yes over his comment "I want to harness your brain and make money off of it."
I said yes to his proposal not because I wanted to, or because I thought it was the best opportunity, but because, frankly gentle reader, there was NOTHING ELSE TO CHOOSE FROM.
And here I am.
The mortgage business is, as Michael calls it, a commodity. All things devolve eventually into a commodity. And in a commodity market, there is nothing to distinguish the product; the only way to make income is to enhance volume. Thus, in my business, there is nothing to distinguish a user from one to the next - their choice is frequently made on the basis of a personal feeling, or arbitrary matters.
In other words, in the mortgage business, I am not unique.
There are other issues - but, the bottom line is that I struggle to make a living every month, and I just feel that I'm too damned old to have to fight to survive every month.
However, what else can I do that will support me while I try to re-create myself into an emerging marketplace, rather than being a competitor in a commodity market?
The program into which I intend to place myself is one which is truly emerging. The doctoral degree programs have only existed a few years, and I would be one of a very small number of people who would be out consulting with such credentials. It will take me three years or so to finish, and so my life needs to support me and the tuition and expenses during that period.
Since my entry into adulthood, I've never really looked at myself, until today, as being on the wrong end of the market curve. When I went to law school, I was cresting a wave or law school enrollments that broke onto the shores of humanity in the United States, swamping everyone with a glut of lawyers, all looking for some way to scratch out a living.
I started bankruptcy law just at a time that it was becoming automated; just as I was getting known and very good at it, Windows versions of the software became readily available, and anyone with a couple hundred bucks and a law license could be a "bankrtupcy lawyer."
I went into the mortgage business at the tail end of a mortgage broker's being able to well and truly accomplish something for a client; now, anyone with perfect credit can get a loan over the internet with very little effort. Mortgage brokers will fairly soon go the way of the buggy whip -
Do I want to ride that wave down to its predictable end?
Clearly, not.
Monday, January 13, 2003
Once more, with feeling
Matthew cancelled today - I guess that was fine - it was much cheaper than actually driving over to pick him up, taking him somewhere for dinner, then getting involved in any way only THEN to be snaggled by the "maybe" monster.
The maybe monster is a device used by younger people to avoid making a commitment or a negative reply. "Will you go to the party with me?" "Probably."
"Probably" falls into the great Divo rule of "any answer other than yes is no." "Probably" is "no" with a knife.
"Probably" means "not yes, but I'll have you think yes while I see if something better than you and your idea comes along."
Matthew is a heavy user of "probably."
Today, I asked a friend of mine if he'd like to come to my cocktail party, and he answered "Probably - I'll write it down, and see if I can make it."
Turns out he's been sick. I probably shouldn't have accused him of spending too much time chasing youngsters.
He does, though.
Matthew cancelled today - I guess that was fine - it was much cheaper than actually driving over to pick him up, taking him somewhere for dinner, then getting involved in any way only THEN to be snaggled by the "maybe" monster.
The maybe monster is a device used by younger people to avoid making a commitment or a negative reply. "Will you go to the party with me?" "Probably."
"Probably" falls into the great Divo rule of "any answer other than yes is no." "Probably" is "no" with a knife.
"Probably" means "not yes, but I'll have you think yes while I see if something better than you and your idea comes along."
Matthew is a heavy user of "probably."
Today, I asked a friend of mine if he'd like to come to my cocktail party, and he answered "Probably - I'll write it down, and see if I can make it."
Turns out he's been sick. I probably shouldn't have accused him of spending too much time chasing youngsters.
He does, though.
Finally following advice -
Sometimes, it only takes a while.
Before 09/11/01, I finally got certified to lead Zenger Miller courses through Camber Corporation. Three weeks later, "they" blew up the World Trade Center, and .. well ..
That job really ended because Psycho Judy had blown through four years of development budget in just under two years - and brought in ONE contract for a single day's training of $800.
Did I mention that they paid out more than $800 to go down and deliver the training?
Anyway, I like the 09/11/01 excuse better - it sounds so .. community oriented.
After I got nuked over at Camber, I approached UH-CL, for whom I've been teaching since 1995, and I asked them if they would be interested in doing the Zenger Miller thing. After six months, and two meetings, they decided not to pursue it, and my boss over there told me to approach San Jacinto Junior College about it.
So, I put it off. For six months. Or better.
Today, after having one loan blow up and and a "friend" blow me off on an appraisal comment, I called.
They nearly hired me over the phone. So, I go tomorrow at 2:00 to meet with them.
She seemed to sound like they had a LOT of classes to teach. So, who gives a flip about whether the interest rates go up or down?
I should be starting this by the end of February.
Sometimes, it only takes a while.
Before 09/11/01, I finally got certified to lead Zenger Miller courses through Camber Corporation. Three weeks later, "they" blew up the World Trade Center, and .. well ..
That job really ended because Psycho Judy had blown through four years of development budget in just under two years - and brought in ONE contract for a single day's training of $800.
Did I mention that they paid out more than $800 to go down and deliver the training?
Anyway, I like the 09/11/01 excuse better - it sounds so .. community oriented.
After I got nuked over at Camber, I approached UH-CL, for whom I've been teaching since 1995, and I asked them if they would be interested in doing the Zenger Miller thing. After six months, and two meetings, they decided not to pursue it, and my boss over there told me to approach San Jacinto Junior College about it.
So, I put it off. For six months. Or better.
Today, after having one loan blow up and and a "friend" blow me off on an appraisal comment, I called.
They nearly hired me over the phone. So, I go tomorrow at 2:00 to meet with them.
She seemed to sound like they had a LOT of classes to teach. So, who gives a flip about whether the interest rates go up or down?
I should be starting this by the end of February.
Sunday, January 12, 2003
Matthew, Chapter Two, Verse One
A lovely evening at Richard's again - it's cold here tonight!! 37F/2C! Brrrr!
Today was somewhat productive, and will be an early evening to bed. I got caught up on records filing, and am waffling on whether to put a light in my curio over the porcelain goddess, which will hold my airline glass.
Talked to Matthew today for a while. Last we exchanged messages, he said he thought it would be better if we were just friends.
Today, we seem to have had an about-face. He mentioned that he had been bored and lonely, and that I had "always shown him a good time."
So, the bottom line is that we're going to dinner tomorrow night, my anti-Y pledge notwithstanding.
I'll report in later.
Tonight's pearl of wisdom, from "Sex and the City." It goes - "There are three things that people in the city are always looking for: A job, an apartment and a man. Why is it that, when I have two of three that are fabulous, I define myself by my lack of the third?"
Amen, sister.
A lovely evening at Richard's again - it's cold here tonight!! 37F/2C! Brrrr!
Today was somewhat productive, and will be an early evening to bed. I got caught up on records filing, and am waffling on whether to put a light in my curio over the porcelain goddess, which will hold my airline glass.
Talked to Matthew today for a while. Last we exchanged messages, he said he thought it would be better if we were just friends.
Today, we seem to have had an about-face. He mentioned that he had been bored and lonely, and that I had "always shown him a good time."
So, the bottom line is that we're going to dinner tomorrow night, my anti-Y pledge notwithstanding.
I'll report in later.
Tonight's pearl of wisdom, from "Sex and the City." It goes - "There are three things that people in the city are always looking for: A job, an apartment and a man. Why is it that, when I have two of three that are fabulous, I define myself by my lack of the third?"
Amen, sister.
Monday, January 06, 2003
Joey the Satanic Flirt and the Purple Bedroom
It's nearly 4:30 today, and time to go home and see where things are. The guest room/den/room-E is finished in Polo blue and Polo minty green (colors that my extra-sized office at Big Nellie Mortgage was painted - they now have THREE people in there - imagine?) and we'll see how it looks like when I've shoved the furniture back in it.
I have to find someone unsuspecting to help me move furniture back IN to the room tonight, and help me move furniture from my bedroom OUT. This means that by tomorrow evening, the painting will be done, the house will be mine again and EVERYTHING will have been dusted, polished, cleaned under and behind, and so on.
Perhaps Curtis is available tonight.
Okay, it's time to stop pretending I'm a mortgage broker, and go home to walk the dogs. My friend Z tells me I'm ALWAYS walking the dogs.
I'm sure they don't think so.
Put a bunch of VHS tapes and books on Amazon last night, and they're flying off the shelves! I sold six tapes today and a book. Very exciting.
Hopefully, I can figure some other way to unload the detritus of overcollecting.
It's nearly 4:30 today, and time to go home and see where things are. The guest room/den/room-E is finished in Polo blue and Polo minty green (colors that my extra-sized office at Big Nellie Mortgage was painted - they now have THREE people in there - imagine?) and we'll see how it looks like when I've shoved the furniture back in it.
I have to find someone unsuspecting to help me move furniture back IN to the room tonight, and help me move furniture from my bedroom OUT. This means that by tomorrow evening, the painting will be done, the house will be mine again and EVERYTHING will have been dusted, polished, cleaned under and behind, and so on.
Perhaps Curtis is available tonight.
Okay, it's time to stop pretending I'm a mortgage broker, and go home to walk the dogs. My friend Z tells me I'm ALWAYS walking the dogs.
I'm sure they don't think so.
Put a bunch of VHS tapes and books on Amazon last night, and they're flying off the shelves! I sold six tapes today and a book. Very exciting.
Hopefully, I can figure some other way to unload the detritus of overcollecting.
Saturday, January 04, 2003
How many gasoline cans constitutes anal retentivity?
(the update to how many angels can dance on the head of a pin)
Yesterday was initially an exercise in frustration. Since New Year's, I have been running into roadblocks outside my control that have pushed closing dates back. In my reality, closing dates = income. About 1:30 in the afternoon, my friend James started calling me - he sounded tense. Seems that he had rented a U-Haul to move some furniture, and had run out of diesel.
Funny, but I had just that morning moved one of my red, plastic gasoline containers from the pantry (don't ask) to the bathroom cabinet (I said - don't ask.) I was delighted with James' need, because a.) it was a valid reason to leave the office, and b.) it gave me a reason to poison one of my gasoline containers with diesel, and thereby get rid of it, leaving me with one.
So, I dashed out of the office, ran home, grabbed one gasoline container from the bathroom (now, quit it. I can see you over there thinking about asking, and we covered that.) Popped into the car and drove over to the stranded James and his BF Bassem. As I was driving, I thought .. "Don't I have a gasoline can in the trunk of the car?"
Yes, I did. So, I had THREE gasoline containers -
Does that constitute anal retentivity, or just good planning?
My home is still all caterwampus (another technical term) as Joey the satanistic flirt paints. Gradually.
Today, he promises to be done with the living room, and that means I can put all of the furniture back in place. Once that's done, all of the furniture in the den/guest room gets moved so that they can paint THAT room.
Then, I have to buy paint for my bedroom and contemplate new bed linens.
I'd ask my boy Brian to help me pick out bed linens, but his tastes run to Nieman's and Frette.
Spent part of my last night looking at pictures of first class compartments on major international airlines. Woof! British Airways looks to be the most luxurious around. How can I find a job where all I have to do is fly around the world to places I haven't seen or love a lot in first class?
Time to make something happen in the laundry room. More as it happens.
(the update to how many angels can dance on the head of a pin)
Yesterday was initially an exercise in frustration. Since New Year's, I have been running into roadblocks outside my control that have pushed closing dates back. In my reality, closing dates = income. About 1:30 in the afternoon, my friend James started calling me - he sounded tense. Seems that he had rented a U-Haul to move some furniture, and had run out of diesel.
Funny, but I had just that morning moved one of my red, plastic gasoline containers from the pantry (don't ask) to the bathroom cabinet (I said - don't ask.) I was delighted with James' need, because a.) it was a valid reason to leave the office, and b.) it gave me a reason to poison one of my gasoline containers with diesel, and thereby get rid of it, leaving me with one.
So, I dashed out of the office, ran home, grabbed one gasoline container from the bathroom (now, quit it. I can see you over there thinking about asking, and we covered that.) Popped into the car and drove over to the stranded James and his BF Bassem. As I was driving, I thought .. "Don't I have a gasoline can in the trunk of the car?"
Yes, I did. So, I had THREE gasoline containers -
Does that constitute anal retentivity, or just good planning?
My home is still all caterwampus (another technical term) as Joey the satanistic flirt paints. Gradually.
Today, he promises to be done with the living room, and that means I can put all of the furniture back in place. Once that's done, all of the furniture in the den/guest room gets moved so that they can paint THAT room.
Then, I have to buy paint for my bedroom and contemplate new bed linens.
I'd ask my boy Brian to help me pick out bed linens, but his tastes run to Nieman's and Frette.
Spent part of my last night looking at pictures of first class compartments on major international airlines. Woof! British Airways looks to be the most luxurious around. How can I find a job where all I have to do is fly around the world to places I haven't seen or love a lot in first class?
Time to make something happen in the laundry room. More as it happens.
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