Okay, so "Bitter, Party of One"

I wrote last night's blog, and then felt really ugly about it. So, I went to bed. That didn't help. Then, I had dreams about my mother (not good ones, either) and some more insight into this whole thing with men, I think. At least some clues, if not insight.

So, then I woke up feeling .. not good about the thing, and embarassed that I had written to ALL of my friends (well, not all, only the ones who might remotely think about sending Jarred a message) last night that displayed such childishness and bitterness.

BLEH

I spent the hours after being stood up (again, not just by Jarred, but .. the fifth time in two weeks?) being all rational and intellectual about it - as in "I wouldn't want to be around someone who would treat someone that way anyway, etc."

As is common for me with emotionally stressful situations, I process first, then indulge the emotion, then process the emotion.

Now, most people will not read this entire thing until this morning, or later .. say Monday. A few have read it .. and whoo-EEE, am I embarassed.

Let me begin to cover my tracks by saying that this morning's early blood glucose reading was 96. Coolness.

I think I need to (1) call Susan today, (2) focus on Fabulair, my contracts and my friends, and (3) refrain from contact with men until I get something straightened out in my head. Well, not STRAIGHT ...