From this morning's Houston Chronicle
Judge calls for easing of drug penalty
Citing felony docket loads, he asks Perry to cut sentences for minor possession
By BILL MURPHY
Copyright 2006 Houston Chronicle
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UNDER A GRAM
Two long-serving local officials disagree about jailing people for possession of small amounts of illegal drugs.
The debate
State District Judge Michael McSpadden
•The cases clog court dockets and further crowd jails without addressing the underlying causes of drug abuse. Prosecutors and police use such cases to pad their statistics.
County Commissioner El Franco Lee
•Residents in some neighborhoods complain that they are under siege by street criminals. Zero tolerance, including arrests for drug possession and even jaywalking, helps reduce the perception and the reality of criminal activity.
Common ground
•Lee and McSpadden agree the drug problem is complex and that long-term solutions will include better use of specialized drug courts that can offer drug treatment as an alternative to jail.
But after more than two decades hearing felony cases in Harris County, the former prosecutor is calling on the governor and Legislature to reduce sentences for low-level drug possession.
"These minor offenses are now overwhelming every felony docket, and the courts necessarily spend less time on the more important, violent crimes," he recently wrote to Gov. Rick Perry.
Nearly twice as many defendants in Harris County were sent to state jails last year for possessing less than 1 gram of a drug than in Dallas, Tarrant and Bexar counties combined.
McSpadden recommended making delivering or possessing a small amount of drugs a Class A misdemeanor carrying no more than a year in county jail.
Gov. Rick Perry is aware that bills may be submitted in the upcoming legislative session that call for reducing penalties for possessing small amounts of drugs or drug residue, said Kathy Walt, the governor's spokeswoman.
"He is willing to look at anything that the Legislature presents him, and he wants to hear the debate in the Legislature about the pros and cons of the issue," she said.
The judge said the Houston Police Department and District Attorney's Office are clogging court dockets and causing crowding in the county jail and state jails by bringing so many drug-possession cases against those found with pipe residue or a sugar packet's worth of cocaine.
But District Attorney Chuck Rosenthal said state law makes no distinction between residue and up to a gram of a drug. Under state law, a person caught with either should be charged with possession of less than 1 gram, he said.
"That's what the law says we should do," he said. "We don't get to make the facts. We don't get to change the law."
Police officials and County Commissioner El Franco Lee said McSpadden is oversimplifying a complex problem. HPD goes after low-level dealers and buyers when neighbors complain that they cannot go outside because there is an open-air drug market or a parade of addicts buying drugs from a store or home.
"I guarantee you there are more of my constituents who want their property protected and want more police on the streets than there are people complaining about the nature of the charges brought against those arrested in their neighborhoods," Lee said.
Fears retaliation
In the dozens of apartment complexes that dot the Fondren area in southwest Houston, many law-abiding residents know nothing of the policy debate over whether low-level drug offenders should be charged with drug possession or a lesser crime. But they know fear firsthand.
"There are gunshots going all night. The security guard would sit in his car all night. He was afraid to get out," said a part-owner of an apartment complex on West Airport. She requested anonymity because she fears retaliation.
The owners took steps to make the complex secure, installing lights at the rear of the property and repairing a fence. Drug dealers shot out the lights and made new holes in the fence to make sales, she said.
As for her investment, "I can't sell it because it's 30 percent empty," she said. "The good people are moving out."
Crack-residue cases are a way of addressing a neighborhood's needs, said HPD officer Jason Streety.
"Even little frivolous charges are a good way to get those causing problems off the street," he said. "In a high-crime area, you gotta take what you can get."
HPD Executive Assistant Chief Mike Thaler said narcotics or other special units may target a park or a basketball court if neighbors have complained that drug sales are occurring there. Police will try to arrest dealers and users, who sometimes are charged with drug possession for having a pipe with crack residue.
Incarcerating thousands of drug offenders convicted of possessing less than 1 gram of a drug is expensive. It cost more than $59 million to hold more than 4,800 such prisoners in state jails last year, based on Texas Department of Criminal Justice figures.
Commissioners Court is mulling over building two jails for at least $267 million because current jails are overcrowded.
On some days, as many as 800 people are in county jail awaiting trial or serving time for low-level drug charges, said sheriff's department Chief Deputy Mike Smith.
Last year, 1,869 of 4,418 offenders serving time in state jail for committing offenses in Harris County were convicted of possession of less than 1 gram of a drug.
Not included in these statistics are hundreds of low-level drug offenders who were in Harris County jail awaiting trial or who cut deals, pleaded guilty and served county jail time.
Little deterrence
McSpadden, a Republican not known for being anti-police or anti-prosecution, estimated that more than half the cases for possession of less than a gram of a drug in his court are crack-residue cases. The county and state do not keep records on whether a drug case stems from possession of residue.
Those caught with crack pipes should be charged with possession of drug paraphernalia, a Class A misdemeanor — not drug possession, McSpadden said. People convicted of carrying crack pipes can be fined $500 and put on probation.
Possession of less than 1 gram of a drug is a felony that often lands people in state jail for six months to two years.
McSpadden said prison and jail sentences aren't good deterrents. "Unfortunately, it is obvious that the demand for drugs will not diminish, no matter what the consequences are," he wrote Perry. "I changed my mind a few years ago when it was obvious the 'war on drugs' was a complete failure and should be considered as symbolic at best."
McSpadden asked Perry to work with state lawmakers in reducing the sentences for low-level drug-possession offenses.
Perry spokeswoman Walt said the governor supports creating drug courts, believing that they have a better record of preventing future drug use among addicts. But those who violated drug laws should be prosecuted, she said.
Continued prosecution
McSpadden says the HPD is trying to pad drug-arrest statistics and make itself look good in the eyes of the City Council.
Rosenthal said prosecutors have debated whether residue cases should be handled as paraphernalia cases. At the end of these discussions, Rosenthal decided they would continue to be prosecuted as possession cases.
He said some prosecutors argued that HPD officers working extra hours to tackle drug problems in a neighborhood "pick the lowest hanging fruit" and arrest low-level drug offenders to justify overtime.
Thaler denied his officers had that motivation.
"The real objective is to make people feel safer. There are areas that feel under siege," he said. "People feel uncomfortable, and they can't go to the park because dealers are selling drugs. We are trying to maintain order."
McSpadden said HPD could get addicts off the street by charging them with possession of paraphernalia.
The judge and the district attorney do agree that drug courts appear to be more successful than prison sentences in helping addicts stay off drugs.
Three state district courts in Harris County serve as drug courts. Judges in any of the state district courts can refer addicts to these courts if the addict makes a case he or she wants to beat the habit.
In the drug courts, addicts can plead guilty and get treatment and intensive social services while under supervision.
McSpadden and Rosenthal said more money should go to creating additional drug courts.
bill.murphy@chron.com
How much is a gram?
•A gram of a powdered substance is about the amount that a sugar packet holds, but even smaller amounts, such as residue in a pipe, can result in conviction.
Inmates in state jails in 2005
•Inmates serving time for possession of less than a gram in Harris County: 1,869
•Such defendants in Bexar, Dallas and Tarrant counties combined: 969
•Total such prisoners in Texas: 4,846
•Annual cost of incarceration: More than $12,000 per inmate — $59 million a year
Sources: Texas Department of Criminal Justice; Judge McSpadden; Commissioner Lee
State District Judge Michael McSpadden once believed that long sentences would deter drug sales and drug use.
Musings on personal growth, how people look at things, random observations and points of general interest all with a focus on having things work well.
DJHJD
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Friday, November 17, 2006
Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Coke FRIDAY!
From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Today is Howard Dean's birthday. I can think of no better way to celebrate what he's done for our team than to cede this space to some of his words from March 15, 2003, when he addressed the California State Convention in Sacramento. I believe it belongs in the pantheon of great and influential political speeches. At a time when many leaders in our party were spending more time with their noses in the "Triangulation For Dummies" handbook and less time opposing President Bush's reckless agenda, Dean's plain-spoken words and line-in-the-sand fervor broke the spell of complacency. His opening line shook the room:
"WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS...what in the world so many Democrats are doing supporting the President's unilateral intervention in Iraq!
What I want to know is why the Democrats in Congress aren't standing up for us, joining every other industrialized country on the face of the Earth in providing health insurance for every man, woman and child in America.
What I want to know is why so many folks in Congress are voting for the President's Education Bill---The "No School Board Left Standing Bill"---the largest unfunded mandate in the history of our educational system!
As Paul Wellstone said---as Sheila Kuehl said when she endorsed me---I am Howard Dean, and I'm here to represent the Democratic wing of the Democratic Party! ...
I want a Democratic Party that will balance the budget. Bill Clinton balanced the budget and, starting in 1993, without a single Republican vote, kicked off the greatest 10 years of economic growth in this nation's history. No Republican president has balanced the budget in this country in 34 years. If you want to trust somebody with your taxpayer dollars, you'd better elect a Democrat because the Republicans can't manage money.
I want a government which will give us a foreign policy so when we walk down the streets of the capitals of our friends we don't have to worry about watching our backs wherever we go as Americans. ...
In our state, everybody under the age of 18 has health insurance. We have made Medicaid into a middle-class entitlement. If you make $52,000 a year or less in Vermont, everybody under 18 in your family is entitled to Medicaid. We charge if you are at the upper-end of that: We charge $50 a month, that insures everybody in your family under the age of 18. Now, if we can do that in a small rural state which is 26th in income in the entire country, surely the most wealthy and powerful society on the face of the earth can grant all of its citizens health care. I am a Governor, and I am a doctor, and I have done it. ...
We are not going to beat George Bush by voting with the President 85 percent of the time. The only way that we're going to beat George Bush is to say what we mean, to stand up for who we are, [and] to lift up a Democratic agenda against the Republican agenda. Because if you do that, the Democratic agenda wins every time.
You can read the whole thing here. And don't forget to sign the DKos Guest Book.
Happy Birthday, Governor...and many blessings on your camels.
Today is Howard Dean's birthday. I can think of no better way to celebrate what he's done for our team than to cede this space to some of his words from March 15, 2003, when he addressed the California State Convention in Sacramento. I believe it belongs in the pantheon of great and influential political speeches. At a time when many leaders in our party were spending more time with their noses in the "Triangulation For Dummies" handbook and less time opposing President Bush's reckless agenda, Dean's plain-spoken words and line-in-the-sand fervor broke the spell of complacency. His opening line shook the room:
"WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS...what in the world so many Democrats are doing supporting the President's unilateral intervention in Iraq!
What I want to know is why the Democrats in Congress aren't standing up for us, joining every other industrialized country on the face of the Earth in providing health insurance for every man, woman and child in America.
What I want to know is why so many folks in Congress are voting for the President's Education Bill---The "No School Board Left Standing Bill"---the largest unfunded mandate in the history of our educational system!
As Paul Wellstone said---as Sheila Kuehl said when she endorsed me---I am Howard Dean, and I'm here to represent the Democratic wing of the Democratic Party! ...
I want a Democratic Party that will balance the budget. Bill Clinton balanced the budget and, starting in 1993, without a single Republican vote, kicked off the greatest 10 years of economic growth in this nation's history. No Republican president has balanced the budget in this country in 34 years. If you want to trust somebody with your taxpayer dollars, you'd better elect a Democrat because the Republicans can't manage money.
I want a government which will give us a foreign policy so when we walk down the streets of the capitals of our friends we don't have to worry about watching our backs wherever we go as Americans. ...
In our state, everybody under the age of 18 has health insurance. We have made Medicaid into a middle-class entitlement. If you make $52,000 a year or less in Vermont, everybody under 18 in your family is entitled to Medicaid. We charge if you are at the upper-end of that: We charge $50 a month, that insures everybody in your family under the age of 18. Now, if we can do that in a small rural state which is 26th in income in the entire country, surely the most wealthy and powerful society on the face of the earth can grant all of its citizens health care. I am a Governor, and I am a doctor, and I have done it. ...
We are not going to beat George Bush by voting with the President 85 percent of the time. The only way that we're going to beat George Bush is to say what we mean, to stand up for who we are, [and] to lift up a Democratic agenda against the Republican agenda. Because if you do that, the Democratic agenda wins every time.
You can read the whole thing here. And don't forget to sign the DKos Guest Book.
Happy Birthday, Governor...and many blessings on your camels.
Late Night Snark...with real marshmallow bits!
New Rule: There's just something about a crew cut that says, "You can trust me." This is Montana's new senator, John Tester. I don't know much about him. And I don't need to. His hair says it all. "I'm friendly, I'm dependable, I'm literally level-headed." If hair could smile, it would look like this. And most importantly, it's hair that says, "You will never ever, ever, ever find me snorting meth with a gay hooker."
---Bill Maher
-
"Donald Rumsfeld has resigned and the new Secretary of Defense is a guy named Robert Gates. He's a close friend of the Bush family...yeah, that always works out pretty well. Rumsfeld took it pretty well. He said he's eager now to move on to try and legalize torture in the private sector."
---David Letterman
-
"It has not been a good week for the Republicans. Actually, this election was like a divorce: they got rejected, insulted and lost the House."
---Jay Leno
-
"On Tuesday night, in an ironic turnaround, Iraq brought regime change to the U.S."
---Amy Poehler
-
"Today is Veteran's Day, so that won't affect anyone in the White House."
---Seth Meyers
-
"As a result of this week's election, the new Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, is now the most powerful woman in the country. After hearing this, Oprah Winfrey said, 'Yeah, right'."
---Conan O'Brien
-
---Bill Maher
-
"Donald Rumsfeld has resigned and the new Secretary of Defense is a guy named Robert Gates. He's a close friend of the Bush family...yeah, that always works out pretty well. Rumsfeld took it pretty well. He said he's eager now to move on to try and legalize torture in the private sector."
---David Letterman
-
"It has not been a good week for the Republicans. Actually, this election was like a divorce: they got rejected, insulted and lost the House."
---Jay Leno
-
"On Tuesday night, in an ironic turnaround, Iraq brought regime change to the U.S."
---Amy Poehler
-
"Today is Veteran's Day, so that won't affect anyone in the White House."
---Seth Meyers
-
"As a result of this week's election, the new Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, is now the most powerful woman in the country. After hearing this, Oprah Winfrey said, 'Yeah, right'."
---Conan O'Brien
-
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Tuesday blogarific
Another fragmented day.
I have been working on finding a new car (I said six years ago that I would drive the wheels off of Ruby, and I have done so) and working on getting my house purchase contract in place. Got the latest foreclosure postings in the mail yesterday, so the clock is ticking on “buy or pack.”
Going home early today to make a blizzard of copies that I have to deliver tomorrow, and to help clear more out of the den. And maybe have a nap.
So, yesterday I was at the doctor’s office. I was down eight pounds in three weeks. Yesterday morning, my BG was 147 (yay!!) this morning, after eating (mostly) appropriately all day, and having nothing but some lean red meat after 3:00 in the afternoon, my BG was 246. There’s just no rhyme nor reason to it.
I have to re-cast client’s financial data into something that makes sense, as it’s all jumbled and when I asked them to re-work it, they replied “here’s the original data again.”
Gotta love that.
I have been working on finding a new car (I said six years ago that I would drive the wheels off of Ruby, and I have done so) and working on getting my house purchase contract in place. Got the latest foreclosure postings in the mail yesterday, so the clock is ticking on “buy or pack.”
Going home early today to make a blizzard of copies that I have to deliver tomorrow, and to help clear more out of the den. And maybe have a nap.
So, yesterday I was at the doctor’s office. I was down eight pounds in three weeks. Yesterday morning, my BG was 147 (yay!!) this morning, after eating (mostly) appropriately all day, and having nothing but some lean red meat after 3:00 in the afternoon, my BG was 246. There’s just no rhyme nor reason to it.
I have to re-cast client’s financial data into something that makes sense, as it’s all jumbled and when I asked them to re-work it, they replied “here’s the original data again.”
Gotta love that.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Living life is better than living a lie
From today's Houston Chronicle.
Today's topic: flaunting homosexuality. Exhibit A: Doogie.
Meaning Neil Patrick Harris who, in another life, was the title character in Doogie Howser, M.D., the tale of a boy genius who becomes a doctor. Recently, Harris was outed on a gossip Web site. His response in a statement to people.com said in part:
"I am happy to dispel any rumors or misconceptions and am quite proud to say that I am a very content gay man living my life to the fullest."
That was it. The world continued spinning and the seas did not boil.
Still, one suspects the news was greeted less than warmly in those bastions of social conservatism where, as one gentleman indicates in the new movie Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, they hope to make it legal to string homosexuals up by the soft parts. Indeed, one suspects the most — pardon my language — liberal response in those parts would be something along the lines of, "Fine, he's gay. Why couldn't he keep that to himself? Why do they have to flaunt it? I don't go around announcing that I'm straight!"
Put aside that Harris was forced into his announcement by an individual who called him out online. Put aside, too, the fact that one "flaunts" one's heterosexuality whenever one publicly canoodles with a sweetie of the opposite gender.
Concentrate, instead, on this notion many social conservatives have that homosexuality is best dealt with by being ignored, denied, kept from public view. Why, they ask, in letters to editors and Web sites done up in red, white and blue, must homo-sexuals "flaunt" their "deviant behavior"? "Flaunt," meaning to acknowledge in any way their sexual orientation.
Which brings us to Ted Haggard. Until earlier this month, he was senior pastor of New Life Church in Colorado Springs and president of the National Association of Evangelicals, an influential preacher who had George Bush's ear. Neither the church nor the NAE has been known for its friendliness toward gay people. So there was quite an uproar when Mike Jones, a gay prostitute, dropped the bombshell allegation that he'd had a three-year sexual relationship with the preacher. Haggard initially denied even knowing Jones but then recanted, admitting that, on at least one occasion, he sought a massage and bought meth from the gay hooker.
On Nov. 2, Haggard stepped down from the NAE presi-dency. Two days later, his church fired him. He has confessed to "sexual immor-ality" and will spend the next three to five years in "restor-ation," a process that report-edly involves confrontation, counsel and rebuke from "godly men."
This all raises two questions. One: between this guy, the late gay-bashing former Spokane mayor, James West, Pat Robertson biographer Mel White and Michael Bussee and Gary Cooper, leaders in the "curing homosexuality" move-ment until they fell in love with one another, can't we now safely assume any conservative who rants about the homosex-ual agenda is a lying hypocrite gayer than a Castro Street bar?
And, two: Wouldn't you much rather be Neil Patrick Harris than Ted Haggard just now? In other words, wouldn't you rather be a content gay man living life to the fullest, than a closeted gay hypocrite living lies to the fullest? Especially since lies are so frequently found out.
That's the fallacy social conservatives miss. In a culture that allows gay people room to be gay people, there is no need of lies. In a culture that does not — i.e., theirs — lies are rampant. And that's unfortunate, not simply for the person in question, but for all the people in his or her life.
And here, I'm thinking of Gayle Alcorn. She and Haggard have five children. They've been married 28 years. That's a long time to sleep next to a lie.
Today's topic: flaunting homosexuality. Exhibit A: Doogie.
Meaning Neil Patrick Harris who, in another life, was the title character in Doogie Howser, M.D., the tale of a boy genius who becomes a doctor. Recently, Harris was outed on a gossip Web site. His response in a statement to people.com said in part:
"I am happy to dispel any rumors or misconceptions and am quite proud to say that I am a very content gay man living my life to the fullest."
That was it. The world continued spinning and the seas did not boil.
Still, one suspects the news was greeted less than warmly in those bastions of social conservatism where, as one gentleman indicates in the new movie Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, they hope to make it legal to string homosexuals up by the soft parts. Indeed, one suspects the most — pardon my language — liberal response in those parts would be something along the lines of, "Fine, he's gay. Why couldn't he keep that to himself? Why do they have to flaunt it? I don't go around announcing that I'm straight!"
Put aside that Harris was forced into his announcement by an individual who called him out online. Put aside, too, the fact that one "flaunts" one's heterosexuality whenever one publicly canoodles with a sweetie of the opposite gender.
Concentrate, instead, on this notion many social conservatives have that homosexuality is best dealt with by being ignored, denied, kept from public view. Why, they ask, in letters to editors and Web sites done up in red, white and blue, must homo-sexuals "flaunt" their "deviant behavior"? "Flaunt," meaning to acknowledge in any way their sexual orientation.
Which brings us to Ted Haggard. Until earlier this month, he was senior pastor of New Life Church in Colorado Springs and president of the National Association of Evangelicals, an influential preacher who had George Bush's ear. Neither the church nor the NAE has been known for its friendliness toward gay people. So there was quite an uproar when Mike Jones, a gay prostitute, dropped the bombshell allegation that he'd had a three-year sexual relationship with the preacher. Haggard initially denied even knowing Jones but then recanted, admitting that, on at least one occasion, he sought a massage and bought meth from the gay hooker.
On Nov. 2, Haggard stepped down from the NAE presi-dency. Two days later, his church fired him. He has confessed to "sexual immor-ality" and will spend the next three to five years in "restor-ation," a process that report-edly involves confrontation, counsel and rebuke from "godly men."
This all raises two questions. One: between this guy, the late gay-bashing former Spokane mayor, James West, Pat Robertson biographer Mel White and Michael Bussee and Gary Cooper, leaders in the "curing homosexuality" move-ment until they fell in love with one another, can't we now safely assume any conservative who rants about the homosex-ual agenda is a lying hypocrite gayer than a Castro Street bar?
And, two: Wouldn't you much rather be Neil Patrick Harris than Ted Haggard just now? In other words, wouldn't you rather be a content gay man living life to the fullest, than a closeted gay hypocrite living lies to the fullest? Especially since lies are so frequently found out.
That's the fallacy social conservatives miss. In a culture that allows gay people room to be gay people, there is no need of lies. In a culture that does not — i.e., theirs — lies are rampant. And that's unfortunate, not simply for the person in question, but for all the people in his or her life.
And here, I'm thinking of Gayle Alcorn. She and Haggard have five children. They've been married 28 years. That's a long time to sleep next to a lie.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Mellowed out from meditation class
No reflections of the sun. As it turns out, the Phaeton isn’t Papillon Silver Heliochrome – it’s just plain silver. It’s still an awesome car, and it’s just the one I would want – low miles, loaded to the hilt, cheap .. but, it’s not Papillon Silver Heliochrome.
(sigh)
Teaching class today on prayer and meditation. It’s a good class. We’re also settling into our new space (with POWER!) I’m working on arranging the stereo equipment and such on breaks.
It just occurred to me that, when I silence my mind (we just did that exercise,) I fall asleep. Quiet the noise in head = immediate snoozing.
Maybe that suggests that I’m over doing things.
We’re about to do the forgiveness meditation. It’s cool stuff.
I spent some quality time with the Frontgate catalog yesterday – there are SUCH COOL Christmas-y things in there. I should run through a Garden Ridge to see if some of those things can be found there instead of paying through the FG Design nose. There is a hanging swag wreath thing that would be perfect on the front under the porch light.
Today, I have to find myself a new mailbox to replace the one that was nuked over the weekend following Hallowe’en. I want a Rubbermaid mailbox that’s indestructible. Do you think I can find one that also has a self-closing door? Our mail lady can’t seem to get that door closed.
Last night, I was so excited to find that I had finally received my VHS copy of “The Boys in the Band.” I was ready to sit down and watch it and .. it’s a bootleg copy of Eddie Murphy’s stand up routine (the one where he’s wearing a red leather outfit and talks endlessly about how he’s not gay?) Bastards. So, I protested the PayPal payment, and blah, blah. Back to Amazon, I guess to get a real one.
That’s what I get for trying to find a bargain.
So, again I take up the question “Is Barney too old?” John II (new, from work) thinks that Barney’s extremely uncomfortable from arthritis and so on. He’s willing to tote Barney to the SPCA for me, but I need to at least spend some time with him (Barney) before we do this. Which I can’t possibly do until Sunday evening, at the earliest.
I got home from teaching class, closed the garage door, pulled out all the stuff in the Buick, came into the patio and .. there’s Barney – stuck in the hot tub. He’d clearly been there a while, since the hot tub was all murky and dirty from his fur (he likes to get into the flower beds and roll around.) I pulled him out, and he was shivering from the cold (the water’s only about 78 degrees now.) He looked pathetic but now, he just smells like a landfill. You’d have thought that all that bleach water would have helped, but it was just the opposite.
I had a phone call today from an unfamiliar, Orange County telephone number – I was trying to bring things in from the car to the church, and when I answered, a woman’s voice began speaking to me “Do you know who this is?”
My last girlfriend – from 1980. Yikes!
(sigh)
Teaching class today on prayer and meditation. It’s a good class. We’re also settling into our new space (with POWER!) I’m working on arranging the stereo equipment and such on breaks.
It just occurred to me that, when I silence my mind (we just did that exercise,) I fall asleep. Quiet the noise in head = immediate snoozing.
Maybe that suggests that I’m over doing things.
We’re about to do the forgiveness meditation. It’s cool stuff.
I spent some quality time with the Frontgate catalog yesterday – there are SUCH COOL Christmas-y things in there. I should run through a Garden Ridge to see if some of those things can be found there instead of paying through the FG Design nose. There is a hanging swag wreath thing that would be perfect on the front under the porch light.
Today, I have to find myself a new mailbox to replace the one that was nuked over the weekend following Hallowe’en. I want a Rubbermaid mailbox that’s indestructible. Do you think I can find one that also has a self-closing door? Our mail lady can’t seem to get that door closed.
Last night, I was so excited to find that I had finally received my VHS copy of “The Boys in the Band.” I was ready to sit down and watch it and .. it’s a bootleg copy of Eddie Murphy’s stand up routine (the one where he’s wearing a red leather outfit and talks endlessly about how he’s not gay?) Bastards. So, I protested the PayPal payment, and blah, blah. Back to Amazon, I guess to get a real one.
That’s what I get for trying to find a bargain.
So, again I take up the question “Is Barney too old?” John II (new, from work) thinks that Barney’s extremely uncomfortable from arthritis and so on. He’s willing to tote Barney to the SPCA for me, but I need to at least spend some time with him (Barney) before we do this. Which I can’t possibly do until Sunday evening, at the earliest.
I got home from teaching class, closed the garage door, pulled out all the stuff in the Buick, came into the patio and .. there’s Barney – stuck in the hot tub. He’d clearly been there a while, since the hot tub was all murky and dirty from his fur (he likes to get into the flower beds and roll around.) I pulled him out, and he was shivering from the cold (the water’s only about 78 degrees now.) He looked pathetic but now, he just smells like a landfill. You’d have thought that all that bleach water would have helped, but it was just the opposite.
I had a phone call today from an unfamiliar, Orange County telephone number – I was trying to bring things in from the car to the church, and when I answered, a woman’s voice began speaking to me “Do you know who this is?”
My last girlfriend – from 1980. Yikes!
Tell me this wasn't a broad rejection of the conservatives
Dead woman wins election in US
WASHINGTON (AFP) - Marie Steichen died two months ago but she won a battle to become a county commissioner for a small South Dakota town in the US elections, an official said.
Jerauld county auditor Cindy Peterson said that the election list closed on August 1, and while Steichen died from cancer in September her name was kept on the list for Tuesday's election.
Steichen beat a Republican rival by 100 votes to 64 and Peterson said she believed that voters knew the woman was dead but wanted to make their political point.
WASHINGTON (AFP) - Marie Steichen died two months ago but she won a battle to become a county commissioner for a small South Dakota town in the US elections, an official said.
Jerauld county auditor Cindy Peterson said that the election list closed on August 1, and while Steichen died from cancer in September her name was kept on the list for Tuesday's election.
Steichen beat a Republican rival by 100 votes to 64 and Peterson said she believed that voters knew the woman was dead but wanted to make their political point.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Dallas turns blue
Dallas turning Indigo Blue
By kos
on 2006
It may take a while to turn Texas Blue, but at least Dallas is headed in the right direction.
The home of glitzy restaurants, million-dollar condos and six-figure Neiman Marcus holiday baubles has a new distinction that has nothing to do with its oversupply of Hummers and BMWs.
Dallas County still calls its historic courthouse Old Red, but on Tuesday it went "blue."
A national wave of Democratic voting and changing demographics swept Republicans out of power in the county as the GOP surrendered 42 judgeships, the district's attorney office and the county judge's seat.
Twenty-six years after a Ronald Reagan landslide put Republicans in control, Democrats retook the courthouse in a similar, surprising sweep.
"We didn't expect it, but it's fun," Democratic Party Chair Darlene Ewing said Wednesday. As late as 10 p.m. Election Night, she had been predicting Democrats would win, at best, 10 or 15 judicial contests.
"This is what happened in 1980, except this time they did it to us," said Michael Walz, executive director of the Dallas County Republican Party.
The county elected its first black district attorney, defense attorney Craig Watkins, who was outspent by more than 15-to-one by Republican Toby Shook, a 22-year veteran prosecutor who held a management post under District Attorney Bill Hill, who is retiring.
Let me stress what happened -- there were 42 contested judge races (12 Republicans ran unopposed). Republicans won just one of them, and in that race, she was holding on to a 6-vote lead out of 375,000 votes cast with votes still left to be counted. That is epic.
Elsewhere in Texas, Dems did pretty well. They abandoned gubernatorial candidate Chris Bell early, focusing instead on state legislative seats and the judgeships. And if you wonder why judgeships are important, note that (as documented in Crashing the Gate), Karl Rove helped build the rise of the Texas GOP by winning judgeships. You see, the party that holds the judgeships controls the flow of corporate contributions. (Probably the best argument against partisan elected judges).
In the state legislature, Democrats picked up four House seats (and maybe a 5th) while losing none. This outgoing session is 87 R 63 D. A down note for the evening, Republicans picked up an open Senate seat, making that body 20-11 in the GOP's favor.
By kos
on 2006
It may take a while to turn Texas Blue, but at least Dallas is headed in the right direction.
The home of glitzy restaurants, million-dollar condos and six-figure Neiman Marcus holiday baubles has a new distinction that has nothing to do with its oversupply of Hummers and BMWs.
Dallas County still calls its historic courthouse Old Red, but on Tuesday it went "blue."
A national wave of Democratic voting and changing demographics swept Republicans out of power in the county as the GOP surrendered 42 judgeships, the district's attorney office and the county judge's seat.
Twenty-six years after a Ronald Reagan landslide put Republicans in control, Democrats retook the courthouse in a similar, surprising sweep.
"We didn't expect it, but it's fun," Democratic Party Chair Darlene Ewing said Wednesday. As late as 10 p.m. Election Night, she had been predicting Democrats would win, at best, 10 or 15 judicial contests.
"This is what happened in 1980, except this time they did it to us," said Michael Walz, executive director of the Dallas County Republican Party.
The county elected its first black district attorney, defense attorney Craig Watkins, who was outspent by more than 15-to-one by Republican Toby Shook, a 22-year veteran prosecutor who held a management post under District Attorney Bill Hill, who is retiring.
Let me stress what happened -- there were 42 contested judge races (12 Republicans ran unopposed). Republicans won just one of them, and in that race, she was holding on to a 6-vote lead out of 375,000 votes cast with votes still left to be counted. That is epic.
Elsewhere in Texas, Dems did pretty well. They abandoned gubernatorial candidate Chris Bell early, focusing instead on state legislative seats and the judgeships. And if you wonder why judgeships are important, note that (as documented in Crashing the Gate), Karl Rove helped build the rise of the Texas GOP by winning judgeships. You see, the party that holds the judgeships controls the flow of corporate contributions. (Probably the best argument against partisan elected judges).
In the state legislature, Democrats picked up four House seats (and maybe a 5th) while losing none. This outgoing session is 87 R 63 D. A down note for the evening, Republicans picked up an open Senate seat, making that body 20-11 in the GOP's favor.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Heliochrome
How much time can one dweeb spend researching a Phaeton?
Main Entry: He·li·os
Pronunciation: 'hE-lE-&s, -(")Os
Function: noun
Etymology: Greek HElios
: the god of the sun in Greek mythology -- compare SOL
Main Entry: chrome
Pronunciation: 'krOm
Function: noun
Etymology: French, from Greek chrOma
1 a : CHROMIUM b : a chromium pigment
2 : something plated with an alloy of chromium
Main Entry: chro·mi·um
Pronunciation: 'krO-mE-&m
Function: noun
Etymology: New Latin, from French chrome
: a blue-white metallic element found naturally only in combination and used especially in alloys and in electroplating --
Heliochrome - blue white pigment of the sun.
Sounds shiny.
Katherine Harris lost badly in the US Senate race in Florida. One of my aunts voted for her.
Rick Santorum is losing his Senate seat in Pennsylvania 83% to 17%. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.
Right now, TPM is calling four Senate seats for the Demos. Polls in the west aren't yet closed. Only two house seats for the Demos so far.
It's smelling to me like a rout.
I'm feeling like tonight will be a late one for me, just as the election in 2004 was.
Talked to Mark about the Phaeton again today. He's a nice man. Talked about the build sticker. He's faxing it to me tomorrow, he said. Since it's an late 2003 build of the 2004 model, it's possible that some standard equipment isn't installed. Mark insisted that it has options not otherwise installed on the car. He also said that they're replacing the batteries (there are TWO) today under warranty.
Spent a considerable time today working on the church development. Bringing in more pracs, starting a children's program, trying to get the electricity turned on, ordering supplies, have to hook up the electronics, ordering a podium ... oof.
Also had good progress today on commercial deals - lots more work to do there, but it's attractive.
Main Entry: He·li·os
Pronunciation: 'hE-lE-&s, -(")Os
Function: noun
Etymology: Greek HElios
: the god of the sun in Greek mythology -- compare SOL
Main Entry: chrome
Pronunciation: 'krOm
Function: noun
Etymology: French, from Greek chrOma
1 a : CHROMIUM b : a chromium pigment
2 : something plated with an alloy of chromium
Main Entry: chro·mi·um
Pronunciation: 'krO-mE-&m
Function: noun
Etymology: New Latin, from French chrome
: a blue-white metallic element found naturally only in combination and used especially in alloys and in electroplating --
Heliochrome - blue white pigment of the sun.
Sounds shiny.
Katherine Harris lost badly in the US Senate race in Florida. One of my aunts voted for her.
Rick Santorum is losing his Senate seat in Pennsylvania 83% to 17%. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.
Right now, TPM is calling four Senate seats for the Demos. Polls in the west aren't yet closed. Only two house seats for the Demos so far.
It's smelling to me like a rout.
I'm feeling like tonight will be a late one for me, just as the election in 2004 was.
Talked to Mark about the Phaeton again today. He's a nice man. Talked about the build sticker. He's faxing it to me tomorrow, he said. Since it's an late 2003 build of the 2004 model, it's possible that some standard equipment isn't installed. Mark insisted that it has options not otherwise installed on the car. He also said that they're replacing the batteries (there are TWO) today under warranty.
Spent a considerable time today working on the church development. Bringing in more pracs, starting a children's program, trying to get the electricity turned on, ordering supplies, have to hook up the electronics, ordering a podium ... oof.
Also had good progress today on commercial deals - lots more work to do there, but it's attractive.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Monday, Monday ..
Been trying to get my digital document signature program to work for me tonight; I have to re-upload all the pdf forms. Couldn't connect to the server at work to get the files I needed. But, tomorrow morning, I can.
Tomorrow - the END of the election nonsense. Thank GOD.
Have some very good things going on; the church is being upgraded to a higher status, have some good loans working, starting to be well accepted at work, making an offer on the house, getting some more stuff organized and cleared up here at home.
I have to start setting aside time to just sit and be quiet. Tonight is very pleasant, just sitting here on the sofa fooling around on the computer and watching HBO. I'm tired in advance thinking about the schedule after tomorrow.
We had some BIG rain tonight. It was slamming into the windows.
I'm thinking of going to bed early tonight.
Tomorrow - the END of the election nonsense. Thank GOD.
Have some very good things going on; the church is being upgraded to a higher status, have some good loans working, starting to be well accepted at work, making an offer on the house, getting some more stuff organized and cleared up here at home.
I have to start setting aside time to just sit and be quiet. Tonight is very pleasant, just sitting here on the sofa fooling around on the computer and watching HBO. I'm tired in advance thinking about the schedule after tomorrow.
We had some BIG rain tonight. It was slamming into the windows.
I'm thinking of going to bed early tonight.
The lyrics to Freedom 90
Freedom 90
------George Michael
I won't let you down
I will not give you up
Gotta have some faith in the sound
It's the one good thing that I've got
I won't let you down
So please don't give me up
cause I would really, really love to stick around, oh yeah
Heaven knows I was just a young boy
Didn't know what I wanted to be
I was every little hungry schoolgirl's pride and joy
And I guess it was enough for me
To win the race? A prettier face!
Brand new clothes and a big fat place
On your rock and roll TV
But today the way I play the game is not the same
No way
Think I'm gonna get myself happy
I think there's something you should know
I think it's time I told you so
There's something deep inside of me
There's someone else I've got to be
Take back your picture in a frame
Take back your singing in the rain
I just hope you understand
Sometimes the clothes do not make the man
All we have to do now
Is take these lies and make them true somehow
All we have to see
Is that I don't belong to you
And you don't belong to me yea yea
Freedom,
Freedom,
Freedom
You've gotta give for what you take
Freedom,
Freedom,
Freedom
You've gotta give for what you take
Heaven knows we sure had some fun boy
What a kick just a buddy and me
We had every big shot good-time band on the run boy
We were living in a fantasy
We won the race
Got out of the place
I went back home got a brand new face
For the boys on MTV
But today the way I play the game has got to change
Oh yeah
Now I'm gonna get myself happy
I think there's something you should know
I think it's time I stopped the show
There's something deep inside of me
There's someone I forgot to be
Take back your picture in a frame
Don't think that I'll be back again
I just hope you understand
Sometimes the clothes do not make the man
All we have to do now
Is take these lies and make them true somehow
All we have to see
Is that I don't belong to you
And you don't belong to me, yea yea
Freedom,
Freedom,
Freedom
You've gotta give for what you take
Freedom,
Freedom,
Freedom
You've gotta give for what you take
Well it looks like the road to heaven
But it feels like the road to hell
When I knew which side my bread was buttered
I took the knife as well
Posing for another picture
Everybody's got to sell
But when you shake your ass
They notice fast
And some mistakes were built to last
That's what you get,
That's what you get,
That's what you get,
I say that's what you get
That's what you get for changing your mind
That's what you get for changing your mind
That's what you get,
That's what you get,
And after all this time
I just hope you understand
Sometimes the clothes
Do not make the man
All we have to do now is take these lies
And make them true somehow
All we have to see is that i don't belong to you
And you don't belong to me yea yea
Freedom,
Freedom,
Freedom
You've got to give for what you take
Freedom,
Freedom,
Freedom
You've got to give for what you take
Yea you've got to give for what you, give for what you give
May not be what you want from me
Just the way it's got to be
Lose the face now
I've got to live I've got to live
------George Michael
I won't let you down
I will not give you up
Gotta have some faith in the sound
It's the one good thing that I've got
I won't let you down
So please don't give me up
cause I would really, really love to stick around, oh yeah
Heaven knows I was just a young boy
Didn't know what I wanted to be
I was every little hungry schoolgirl's pride and joy
And I guess it was enough for me
To win the race? A prettier face!
Brand new clothes and a big fat place
On your rock and roll TV
But today the way I play the game is not the same
No way
Think I'm gonna get myself happy
I think there's something you should know
I think it's time I told you so
There's something deep inside of me
There's someone else I've got to be
Take back your picture in a frame
Take back your singing in the rain
I just hope you understand
Sometimes the clothes do not make the man
All we have to do now
Is take these lies and make them true somehow
All we have to see
Is that I don't belong to you
And you don't belong to me yea yea
Freedom,
Freedom,
Freedom
You've gotta give for what you take
Freedom,
Freedom,
Freedom
You've gotta give for what you take
Heaven knows we sure had some fun boy
What a kick just a buddy and me
We had every big shot good-time band on the run boy
We were living in a fantasy
We won the race
Got out of the place
I went back home got a brand new face
For the boys on MTV
But today the way I play the game has got to change
Oh yeah
Now I'm gonna get myself happy
I think there's something you should know
I think it's time I stopped the show
There's something deep inside of me
There's someone I forgot to be
Take back your picture in a frame
Don't think that I'll be back again
I just hope you understand
Sometimes the clothes do not make the man
All we have to do now
Is take these lies and make them true somehow
All we have to see
Is that I don't belong to you
And you don't belong to me, yea yea
Freedom,
Freedom,
Freedom
You've gotta give for what you take
Freedom,
Freedom,
Freedom
You've gotta give for what you take
Well it looks like the road to heaven
But it feels like the road to hell
When I knew which side my bread was buttered
I took the knife as well
Posing for another picture
Everybody's got to sell
But when you shake your ass
They notice fast
And some mistakes were built to last
That's what you get,
That's what you get,
That's what you get,
I say that's what you get
That's what you get for changing your mind
That's what you get for changing your mind
That's what you get,
That's what you get,
And after all this time
I just hope you understand
Sometimes the clothes
Do not make the man
All we have to do now is take these lies
And make them true somehow
All we have to see is that i don't belong to you
And you don't belong to me yea yea
Freedom,
Freedom,
Freedom
You've got to give for what you take
Freedom,
Freedom,
Freedom
You've got to give for what you take
Yea you've got to give for what you, give for what you give
May not be what you want from me
Just the way it's got to be
Lose the face now
I've got to live I've got to live
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Draft of my first SOM article...
So, I've been intending to write some articles and submit them to the SOM magazine- this one is my first (actually third draft of the first one.) Here we go!
What you need to know about me is that I’m fat. In my head, I’m fat. Circus lady fat.
I’ve always been fat.
In my family, growing up, fat was the worst thing you could be named. It conveyed laziness, stupidity, incompetence, and gluttony. When I was just an infant, I remember being appended with the fat label when I was in a bassinet.
As a child, looking at pictures of myself now, I can see that I was never fat. To be sure, I wasn’t some skinny kid – but, I was never FAT. Maybe a little plump every now and again. But never fat. I wasn’t, however, athletic or active. I was more like my mother; a reader, a reflector, a thinker. I did engage in family chores; mowing the lawn, washing cars, cleaning the house – but you could never find me outside playing ball, running after other kids, or climbing trees.
For that, I was repeatedly named “fat.” And, I accepted and owned that name. I owned it like The Donald owns “Trump.”
As I grew into myself in high school, I became active in dance and drama; I was a cheerleader and a stage performer. I was a multiple disco dance contest winner. I had a 32” waist line, and wore the skin tight polyester dress slacks of the era. I felt like I looked good.
Except in my head. I was still fat. And, I had the external voice of my father’s family telling me “you’re getting a little chunky, aren’t you?” “Those pants look awfully tight.” “Gaining a little weight lately?”
And I owned it. Every word of it. I had a mental image of being fat, and when they told me I was packing on the pounds, I felt every ounce of the additional weight that I saw myself as having. I felt ashamed and uncomfortable.
I went to graduate school, and was still quite active doing things I loved to do – singing and performing, going out and dancing. I spent several years vacillating between feeling like I was fat and unattractive and feeling bulletproof and handsome.
In 1985, I finished grad school, and stopped doing nearly all of the things that I loved doing in life. I stopped being active. I gained ten pounds. I bought new, bigger clothes and started really owning my nature. I gained ten more pounds.
Over the next ten years, I gained ten pounds each year. With each additional stone, I didn’t feel fatter, I felt just the same. I was outwardly manifesting my mental picture of myself.
I refused to look at myself in the mirror. I stopped buying attractive clothing. I started dressing in duller colors and frumpier shapes. My body size got uncomfortable. Airline seats became more challenging. Ease of movement was a memory. I grew depressed. I now wouldn’t allow myself to be photographed.
I was MISERABLE. I felt like a whale. All of my friends, and there were many, kept telling me I was handsome, albeit heavy. It meant nothing, because – in my head – I was HUGE. I felt repugnant, and unable to date or participate in social events.
Even though I was working with a practitioner, and had started attending SOM classes, I always carried the burden of my size around in my head. I went straight through four years of SOM classes. Now that I look back at the homework from those classes, I do not see any suggestion that I felt that I could make a difference in my planetary dimensions. I never constructed a treatment to correct either my size or the pain, embarrassment or resentment that I felt. The fat was permanent.
However, my ongoing training as a SOM practitioner began to come into play. Explaining to classes and to my study group about creation of powerful mental and emotional equivalents caused me to closely review my own thinking and my long held belief in my body consciousness.
First, I was able to recognize that my long held body beliefs were not what I wanted. Next, I was able to see that my manifestation was only the outward expression of how I always FELT inside. Then, I was making choices that reinforced the emotional state that supported the mental belief that I was fat – guilt at eating, guilt at not exercising, guilt at my food choices, frumpy clothing choices, withdrawing from attending parties and social events, sheltering myself at home to hide from presenting my fat self to the world.
In August, I attended a family reunion. They’re obsessed with body size, food intake and the fit of their clothing. Having done my mental work in advance, I was clearly able to see the origins of my own self identity and found the humor in the family plague.
I shared my experience with my study group, and used it as an example of how we have subtle, but powerful, mental equivalents going out into Law, and how it is inevitable that we get what we believe. Brother, that was proven beyond a doubt by my experience. I saw, and explained that we had to examine each of our automatic actions and ask “do I want to feel the same way, or do I want to do something different?” Do I pick up the ice cream, and feel guilt and fatter before I even dish it up, or do I make a different choice to support a different belief? We have to work in Universal mind, in our individual mind, and in the Body, which I like to call the tactile world to roll back these beliefs that we have owned so deeply.
So, my size hasn’t changed. I’m the same that I have been for the last five or so years. But, I’ve been set free. I don’t hear that internal voice screaming at me “you’re FAT.” When I put on my clothes, I’m still not pleased, but the internal torture isn’t there.
And, dare I say it? My trousers seem to be looser lately.
Copyright 2006
What you need to know about me is that I’m fat. In my head, I’m fat. Circus lady fat.
I’ve always been fat.
In my family, growing up, fat was the worst thing you could be named. It conveyed laziness, stupidity, incompetence, and gluttony. When I was just an infant, I remember being appended with the fat label when I was in a bassinet.
As a child, looking at pictures of myself now, I can see that I was never fat. To be sure, I wasn’t some skinny kid – but, I was never FAT. Maybe a little plump every now and again. But never fat. I wasn’t, however, athletic or active. I was more like my mother; a reader, a reflector, a thinker. I did engage in family chores; mowing the lawn, washing cars, cleaning the house – but you could never find me outside playing ball, running after other kids, or climbing trees.
For that, I was repeatedly named “fat.” And, I accepted and owned that name. I owned it like The Donald owns “Trump.”
As I grew into myself in high school, I became active in dance and drama; I was a cheerleader and a stage performer. I was a multiple disco dance contest winner. I had a 32” waist line, and wore the skin tight polyester dress slacks of the era. I felt like I looked good.
Except in my head. I was still fat. And, I had the external voice of my father’s family telling me “you’re getting a little chunky, aren’t you?” “Those pants look awfully tight.” “Gaining a little weight lately?”
And I owned it. Every word of it. I had a mental image of being fat, and when they told me I was packing on the pounds, I felt every ounce of the additional weight that I saw myself as having. I felt ashamed and uncomfortable.
I went to graduate school, and was still quite active doing things I loved to do – singing and performing, going out and dancing. I spent several years vacillating between feeling like I was fat and unattractive and feeling bulletproof and handsome.
In 1985, I finished grad school, and stopped doing nearly all of the things that I loved doing in life. I stopped being active. I gained ten pounds. I bought new, bigger clothes and started really owning my nature. I gained ten more pounds.
Over the next ten years, I gained ten pounds each year. With each additional stone, I didn’t feel fatter, I felt just the same. I was outwardly manifesting my mental picture of myself.
I refused to look at myself in the mirror. I stopped buying attractive clothing. I started dressing in duller colors and frumpier shapes. My body size got uncomfortable. Airline seats became more challenging. Ease of movement was a memory. I grew depressed. I now wouldn’t allow myself to be photographed.
I was MISERABLE. I felt like a whale. All of my friends, and there were many, kept telling me I was handsome, albeit heavy. It meant nothing, because – in my head – I was HUGE. I felt repugnant, and unable to date or participate in social events.
Even though I was working with a practitioner, and had started attending SOM classes, I always carried the burden of my size around in my head. I went straight through four years of SOM classes. Now that I look back at the homework from those classes, I do not see any suggestion that I felt that I could make a difference in my planetary dimensions. I never constructed a treatment to correct either my size or the pain, embarrassment or resentment that I felt. The fat was permanent.
However, my ongoing training as a SOM practitioner began to come into play. Explaining to classes and to my study group about creation of powerful mental and emotional equivalents caused me to closely review my own thinking and my long held belief in my body consciousness.
First, I was able to recognize that my long held body beliefs were not what I wanted. Next, I was able to see that my manifestation was only the outward expression of how I always FELT inside. Then, I was making choices that reinforced the emotional state that supported the mental belief that I was fat – guilt at eating, guilt at not exercising, guilt at my food choices, frumpy clothing choices, withdrawing from attending parties and social events, sheltering myself at home to hide from presenting my fat self to the world.
In August, I attended a family reunion. They’re obsessed with body size, food intake and the fit of their clothing. Having done my mental work in advance, I was clearly able to see the origins of my own self identity and found the humor in the family plague.
I shared my experience with my study group, and used it as an example of how we have subtle, but powerful, mental equivalents going out into Law, and how it is inevitable that we get what we believe. Brother, that was proven beyond a doubt by my experience. I saw, and explained that we had to examine each of our automatic actions and ask “do I want to feel the same way, or do I want to do something different?” Do I pick up the ice cream, and feel guilt and fatter before I even dish it up, or do I make a different choice to support a different belief? We have to work in Universal mind, in our individual mind, and in the Body, which I like to call the tactile world to roll back these beliefs that we have owned so deeply.
So, my size hasn’t changed. I’m the same that I have been for the last five or so years. But, I’ve been set free. I don’t hear that internal voice screaming at me “you’re FAT.” When I put on my clothes, I’m still not pleased, but the internal torture isn’t there.
And, dare I say it? My trousers seem to be looser lately.
Copyright 2006
Hump day
I'm sitting in my living room, listening to NPR's "All Things Considered," and watching the contrails in the sky float past a full moon. It's very quiet and peaceful, and I have the house to myself for at least a few hours.
Cleaning is the order of the evening. I would really like to have the time to re-plant a bunch of plants on the patio, but it's not to be tonight.
The moon is so beautiful through these windows.
I'm cleaning up around here - vacuuming has occured (I so need a new vacuum, sheesh) and now the trash is magically going out to the bin. I guess it must seem like magic to other people, but regularly on Mondays and Thursdays, the little centro american crew shows up and hauls off the trash from the bin. So, it stands to reason that putting said trash IN said bin is a smart idea.
I called Mark about the MinniePhateon today. Led a lunchtime training that went over very well. Moving to a new (!) and bigger (!!) cube on Monday, as the current occupant is leaving for warmer climes (meaning, another shop.) I'll have a window, and about double the space.
I also talked to Rich about the QM2 cruise in May that I am intent on going on. I got the price (and didn't flinch) and have asked some questions.
This last weekend, I came to see just how bad my clothing is. I need to overhaul the entire lot of it. (sigh) Can I go to the mall in the MinniePhaeton?
Cleaning is the order of the evening. I would really like to have the time to re-plant a bunch of plants on the patio, but it's not to be tonight.
The moon is so beautiful through these windows.
I'm cleaning up around here - vacuuming has occured (I so need a new vacuum, sheesh) and now the trash is magically going out to the bin. I guess it must seem like magic to other people, but regularly on Mondays and Thursdays, the little centro american crew shows up and hauls off the trash from the bin. So, it stands to reason that putting said trash IN said bin is a smart idea.
I called Mark about the MinniePhateon today. Led a lunchtime training that went over very well. Moving to a new (!) and bigger (!!) cube on Monday, as the current occupant is leaving for warmer climes (meaning, another shop.) I'll have a window, and about double the space.
I also talked to Rich about the QM2 cruise in May that I am intent on going on. I got the price (and didn't flinch) and have asked some questions.
This last weekend, I came to see just how bad my clothing is. I need to overhaul the entire lot of it. (sigh) Can I go to the mall in the MinniePhaeton?
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
One week left
And then, it will either be nonsense continued, or nonsense abated. Ish.
I've been working away since 6:15 this morning - cleaned up, put away, did laundry, folded clothes, fixed the halloween display, put out the mail, etc., etc. Got to the office at 9:15 and have been working on tomorrow's presentation. Later, I'm working on some other stuff, and going home around 4 to meet Kurtis, whom I haven't seen in ages. We'll have fun airline gossip stuff.
My sister flew through IAH yesterday, which she NEVER does, since she's not a Continental girl. She had a three hour layover, and invited me to come visit with her, so I messaged Buhz, who was indeed working at the airport. Went up there, met with him, hung out with my sister for two and a half hours, hung out with him another hour, came home.
Three trips to IAH in 14 hours. Yurg. I filled up with gas Sunday afternoon around 5 and I'm already down a half tank. Probably more, actually, since my fuel gauge is optimistic.
Bram tells me that he's leaving Friday for a week. And two days. It will be like living alone again, except for having his car in the garage.
Four trips to Clear Lake this week. Another tank of gas and forty bucks in tolls.
This weekend is going to be spent working on the house. More cleaning/organizing/sorting. Heck, if I have to move in a few weeks, I may as well be ready to just shove things into boxes. Actually, things are in very good shape, except that I need to clean up the office, including the last of someone else's files, and get rid of the extraneous office equipment.
Went to KFC for lunch - two piece meal with smashed potatos and a biscuit for $2.15 with tax included. Note to file - lunch on Tuesdays at KFC.
Okay, so Kurtis forgot that I had moved. That means I got home early and have allllll this stuff I could be working on. I think I'll work on an outline of the web-based mortgage support business that I've conceived of that I now have the human assets to make happen.
Finally got BG test strips today; I think it's been nearly a month without them. They have gone up in price SO much lately; I finally found some on the internet that were much cheaper (like 60% of the price at Walgreen's.) I bought a bunch..
I've been working away since 6:15 this morning - cleaned up, put away, did laundry, folded clothes, fixed the halloween display, put out the mail, etc., etc. Got to the office at 9:15 and have been working on tomorrow's presentation. Later, I'm working on some other stuff, and going home around 4 to meet Kurtis, whom I haven't seen in ages. We'll have fun airline gossip stuff.
My sister flew through IAH yesterday, which she NEVER does, since she's not a Continental girl. She had a three hour layover, and invited me to come visit with her, so I messaged Buhz, who was indeed working at the airport. Went up there, met with him, hung out with my sister for two and a half hours, hung out with him another hour, came home.
Three trips to IAH in 14 hours. Yurg. I filled up with gas Sunday afternoon around 5 and I'm already down a half tank. Probably more, actually, since my fuel gauge is optimistic.
Bram tells me that he's leaving Friday for a week. And two days. It will be like living alone again, except for having his car in the garage.
Four trips to Clear Lake this week. Another tank of gas and forty bucks in tolls.
This weekend is going to be spent working on the house. More cleaning/organizing/sorting. Heck, if I have to move in a few weeks, I may as well be ready to just shove things into boxes. Actually, things are in very good shape, except that I need to clean up the office, including the last of someone else's files, and get rid of the extraneous office equipment.
Went to KFC for lunch - two piece meal with smashed potatos and a biscuit for $2.15 with tax included. Note to file - lunch on Tuesdays at KFC.
Okay, so Kurtis forgot that I had moved. That means I got home early and have allllll this stuff I could be working on. I think I'll work on an outline of the web-based mortgage support business that I've conceived of that I now have the human assets to make happen.
Finally got BG test strips today; I think it's been nearly a month without them. They have gone up in price SO much lately; I finally found some on the internet that were much cheaper (like 60% of the price at Walgreen's.) I bought a bunch..
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Finally, an entry
I don't feel badly about taking a week to enter into my blog, as most everyone whose blog I read (or would read, if they'd just write something) writes about once ever never.
Besides, I already voted, and so the shrill clangor of the political blogs have less insistence for me. So, not as much that I need to cross post. Besides, it's not like anyone was paying attention.
We got the church all moved in; it's fabulous. That's about all I've accomplished this weekend, save for going to two halloween parties. Oh, and we decorated the front of the house. It's FUN.
Bram's been in Fort Myers all weekend. He's been delayed, re-routed, his bag lost, injured his eye, broken his phone, and been unable to communicate except by occasional email.
He should have flown Continental.
Three tanks of gas in the last week. Again. 1200 miles. Four more trips to Clear Lake this week, no less.
Have a bunch of stuff that needs to be filed, mailed, cleaned up .. won't get that done tonight, either. Bleh.
Bret's been visitng this weekend - he hates the house and the Buick. We went yesterday and looked at the Acura RL again. I liked it a lot, but it just doesn't make me as excited as does the Phaeton.
The work thing has been going well enough - I am developing seminars, presentations, marketing plans, etc., and coaching the willing. I'm working on some commercial deals for myself, and anticipating some problem solving overrides. I have a ton of things to do this week, and have a board meeting, a class to teach this week and something else going on.
Bret made dinner tonight, and he's now making a cake. German Chocolate.
Besides, I already voted, and so the shrill clangor of the political blogs have less insistence for me. So, not as much that I need to cross post. Besides, it's not like anyone was paying attention.
We got the church all moved in; it's fabulous. That's about all I've accomplished this weekend, save for going to two halloween parties. Oh, and we decorated the front of the house. It's FUN.
Bram's been in Fort Myers all weekend. He's been delayed, re-routed, his bag lost, injured his eye, broken his phone, and been unable to communicate except by occasional email.
He should have flown Continental.
Three tanks of gas in the last week. Again. 1200 miles. Four more trips to Clear Lake this week, no less.
Have a bunch of stuff that needs to be filed, mailed, cleaned up .. won't get that done tonight, either. Bleh.
Bret's been visitng this weekend - he hates the house and the Buick. We went yesterday and looked at the Acura RL again. I liked it a lot, but it just doesn't make me as excited as does the Phaeton.
The work thing has been going well enough - I am developing seminars, presentations, marketing plans, etc., and coaching the willing. I'm working on some commercial deals for myself, and anticipating some problem solving overrides. I have a ton of things to do this week, and have a board meeting, a class to teach this week and something else going on.
Bret made dinner tonight, and he's now making a cake. German Chocolate.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Tuesday grumblings
A very interesting day, contemplatively.
This working full time thing needs to both kick into higher gear for me, and needs to work for me that I can finish up the consulting work I had agreed to do before it came to pass.
I like my space, the people who work there are all angry, unhappy people (except my marketing partner, who's fabulous,) and the owner is fabulous (big F and lots of exclamation points.) I'm not concerned about the energy of the unhappy minions. I'm just wondering what the heck's wrong with me. Still and again, I know.
This working full time thing needs to both kick into higher gear for me, and needs to work for me that I can finish up the consulting work I had agreed to do before it came to pass.
I like my space, the people who work there are all angry, unhappy people (except my marketing partner, who's fabulous,) and the owner is fabulous (big F and lots of exclamation points.) I'm not concerned about the energy of the unhappy minions. I'm just wondering what the heck's wrong with me. Still and again, I know.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Saturday, October 21, 2006
FEMA Detention Camps : Are YOU an "Enemy Combatant"?
Cross posted from Daily Kos
by Rogue Scoop
Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 10:59:30 PM PDT
This is not a new story. In several comments I've read here over the last few weeks some folks have revealed their knowledge of the FEMA DENTENTION CAMPS. Up to now I have not written about this subject, but the combination of being hit with the striking down of habeas corpus in The Military Commissions Act of 2006 and just having read the diary by Major Danby about legislation to give Bush control of the National Guard, I decided I had to write about this issue.
Some of you may already be familiar with the issue, but my suspicion is that many Americans, even those who are somewhat informed on political issues still do not know. So here it is:
* Rogue Scoop's diary :: ::
*
Yesterday was a dark day in American history.
The signing by Bush of The Military Commissions Act of 2006 is just another brick in the wall, another step towards the establishment of the fascist police state that he, Cheney and Rumsfeld have beem working for. In this act Bush has essentially struck a serious blow to our Constitution.
On yesterday's Countdown Keith Olbermann interviewed Jonathan Turley, Professor of Constitutional Law at George Washington University. Among other things Turley said this:
"People have no idea how significant this is... What, really a time of shame this is for the American system...What congress did and what the President signed today essentially revokes over 200 years of American principles and values."
Later Turley added that "the Cogress just gave the President despotic powers."
Although most of the language in the Military Commissions Act is directed towards non-citizens, Turley made it clear that even innocent American citizens could be detained if they are labelled as "unlawful enemy combatants." An article in today's L.A. Times explains that the new law "defines the term broadly, and includes not just terrorists and fighters, but also people who have "materially supported hostilities against the United States."
In our current climate of Orange and Red Alerts, paranoia, "You're either with Us or with the terrorists" rhetoric, and the indictments of journalists and lawyers for so-called treasonous behavior, it is not too far a stretch to imagine
that American citizens who dare to speak out against the Bush regime could be labelled as "enemy combatants." If habeas corpus can be tossed aside, can free speech be far behind? These are questions we need to start asking ourselves.
The same Jonathan Turley whom Olbermann interviewed yesterday had a piece ("Camps for Citizens:Ashcrofts's Hellish Vision")originally in the L.A. Times that is available online through truthout : http://www.truthout.org/...
In this article Turley reports that former Attn. General Ashcroft desired camps for U.S. citizens whom he deemed as "enemy combatants." Interesting that this term was used back then. One wonders if all this stuff has been brewing for some time.
In the piece it is stated that Ashcroft's plan for camps "would allow him to order the indefinte incarceration of U.S. citizens and summarily strip them of their constitutional rights and access to the courts by declaring them enemy combatants."
What may have seemed fantasy four years ago now looks to be a distinct possibility. In fact, in 2006 KBR, a subsidiary of Halliburton, was awarded a $385 million contract to build these detention camps. There are now reportedly over 800 of these facilities across the United States. Some have apparently been converted from being conventinal military bases. This link lists many of the sites across the country: http://www.apfn.org/...
The frighteninig mosaic of the Bush administration's unilateral internatinal aggression and systematic destruction of our constitutional at home could lead some to believe that we have not seen the worst yet. It is crucial that people be made aware of the existence of these camps.
A government that has shown such a blatant disregard for the rule of law and a wanton wasting of human life would surely not hesitate to label you or I as an "enemy combatant."
I believe America is beginning to wake up. This can't be allowed to continue. If we don't stand up together against this criminal and murderous regime the horrors could be just beginning.
by Rogue Scoop
Wed Oct 18, 2006 at 10:59:30 PM PDT
This is not a new story. In several comments I've read here over the last few weeks some folks have revealed their knowledge of the FEMA DENTENTION CAMPS. Up to now I have not written about this subject, but the combination of being hit with the striking down of habeas corpus in The Military Commissions Act of 2006 and just having read the diary by Major Danby about legislation to give Bush control of the National Guard, I decided I had to write about this issue.
Some of you may already be familiar with the issue, but my suspicion is that many Americans, even those who are somewhat informed on political issues still do not know. So here it is:
* Rogue Scoop's diary :: ::
*
Yesterday was a dark day in American history.
The signing by Bush of The Military Commissions Act of 2006 is just another brick in the wall, another step towards the establishment of the fascist police state that he, Cheney and Rumsfeld have beem working for. In this act Bush has essentially struck a serious blow to our Constitution.
On yesterday's Countdown Keith Olbermann interviewed Jonathan Turley, Professor of Constitutional Law at George Washington University. Among other things Turley said this:
"People have no idea how significant this is... What, really a time of shame this is for the American system...What congress did and what the President signed today essentially revokes over 200 years of American principles and values."
Later Turley added that "the Cogress just gave the President despotic powers."
Although most of the language in the Military Commissions Act is directed towards non-citizens, Turley made it clear that even innocent American citizens could be detained if they are labelled as "unlawful enemy combatants." An article in today's L.A. Times explains that the new law "defines the term broadly, and includes not just terrorists and fighters, but also people who have "materially supported hostilities against the United States."
In our current climate of Orange and Red Alerts, paranoia, "You're either with Us or with the terrorists" rhetoric, and the indictments of journalists and lawyers for so-called treasonous behavior, it is not too far a stretch to imagine
that American citizens who dare to speak out against the Bush regime could be labelled as "enemy combatants." If habeas corpus can be tossed aside, can free speech be far behind? These are questions we need to start asking ourselves.
The same Jonathan Turley whom Olbermann interviewed yesterday had a piece ("Camps for Citizens:Ashcrofts's Hellish Vision")originally in the L.A. Times that is available online through truthout : http://www.truthout.org/...
In this article Turley reports that former Attn. General Ashcroft desired camps for U.S. citizens whom he deemed as "enemy combatants." Interesting that this term was used back then. One wonders if all this stuff has been brewing for some time.
In the piece it is stated that Ashcroft's plan for camps "would allow him to order the indefinte incarceration of U.S. citizens and summarily strip them of their constitutional rights and access to the courts by declaring them enemy combatants."
What may have seemed fantasy four years ago now looks to be a distinct possibility. In fact, in 2006 KBR, a subsidiary of Halliburton, was awarded a $385 million contract to build these detention camps. There are now reportedly over 800 of these facilities across the United States. Some have apparently been converted from being conventinal military bases. This link lists many of the sites across the country: http://www.apfn.org/...
The frighteninig mosaic of the Bush administration's unilateral internatinal aggression and systematic destruction of our constitutional at home could lead some to believe that we have not seen the worst yet. It is crucial that people be made aware of the existence of these camps.
A government that has shown such a blatant disregard for the rule of law and a wanton wasting of human life would surely not hesitate to label you or I as an "enemy combatant."
I believe America is beginning to wake up. This can't be allowed to continue. If we don't stand up together against this criminal and murderous regime the horrors could be just beginning.
Saturday relaxation
Spelled "c-l-e-a-n t-h-e h-o-u-s-e." I moved the dining table out and .. there's a DINING ROOM again for the first time in seven months. I brought the black quarter round book case into my bedroom to hold pictures; now I have a bunch of books that I need to find a home for.
Laundering towels now - they're in the dryer for the second go-round. I guess that it's the .. cheapest electric dryer one can buy? It is now taking two cycles of drying to get anything cotton dry. Stupid. I was checking out the LG front load sets yesterday at homo depot; they're pretty darned cool.
In a moment, I have to pull out the vacuum cleaned and see if it's feeling like picking anything up off the floor today. It just needs help (spelled replacement.) I still need a breakfast set, and have to figure out what to do with the bedroom that's been organized as an office all of this time. I'm not really working out of there anymore, although this weekend I have a ton of things that need to be done. I think I'm going to just get it sorted out, everything put away, and then use it as a storage room, etc.
A friend has asked if he could move in; if that comes to pass, I'll put him there. If not, then I'll have room for Bram's furniture if he decides to move it from Atlanta. He hates Houston, and wants to move back to Atlanta, so moving his furniture feels to him like a concession. So, I don't know what's going to happen with that room just yet.
I've been watching the light in the sky as it's changed from dark to bright, from cloudy to overcast today. I've been enjoying just sitting here in the living room; this is my only break for another week.
Barney is just getting SO feeble. Mikey's going to tell me I should take him to the SPCA and leave him there permanently, but .. he's not ready for that just yet.
After vacuuming, I think my next trick is going to be mopping the floors.
I'm sitting here really enjoying knowing that my air conditioner isn't running. That means that I'm not spending $20 today on electricity.
Laundering towels now - they're in the dryer for the second go-round. I guess that it's the .. cheapest electric dryer one can buy? It is now taking two cycles of drying to get anything cotton dry. Stupid. I was checking out the LG front load sets yesterday at homo depot; they're pretty darned cool.
In a moment, I have to pull out the vacuum cleaned and see if it's feeling like picking anything up off the floor today. It just needs help (spelled replacement.) I still need a breakfast set, and have to figure out what to do with the bedroom that's been organized as an office all of this time. I'm not really working out of there anymore, although this weekend I have a ton of things that need to be done. I think I'm going to just get it sorted out, everything put away, and then use it as a storage room, etc.
A friend has asked if he could move in; if that comes to pass, I'll put him there. If not, then I'll have room for Bram's furniture if he decides to move it from Atlanta. He hates Houston, and wants to move back to Atlanta, so moving his furniture feels to him like a concession. So, I don't know what's going to happen with that room just yet.
I've been watching the light in the sky as it's changed from dark to bright, from cloudy to overcast today. I've been enjoying just sitting here in the living room; this is my only break for another week.
Barney is just getting SO feeble. Mikey's going to tell me I should take him to the SPCA and leave him there permanently, but .. he's not ready for that just yet.
After vacuuming, I think my next trick is going to be mopping the floors.
I'm sitting here really enjoying knowing that my air conditioner isn't running. That means that I'm not spending $20 today on electricity.
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