Sunday evening hooker drama

Plus, Angel Season Two.

The hooker - what a hoot! He's been messaging me like CRAZY, wanting me to drive out there and .. well, pay him for sex. Which is why he's a hooker.

Talking to Nick. Oh, what an idiot I am. Again. Version 931006.01. I think I should probably run in the other direction when I find someone attractive.

Enough on that. I told him straight out that I don't think he's going to do anything to help me with Fabulair, with anything that I've asked him to help me with. I didn't use the words "I think that the money I paid you is going to go for naught." However, I did say that in an email that he apparently hasn't read yet.

I also told him that until he stops feeling like he deserves to be treated the way Carlos has treated him, he'll only be attracted to men such as he, and that someone like me, who wants to treat him like a prince, won't stand a chance, because he can't see himself as being worth that.

I got myself all empowered about Fabulair, and now I've talked myself back out of it. I've started thinking about all the people who promised that they'd help with specific tasks, and then done nothing. Some of those fine people later criticized me for not having more accomplished. I thought about how long it's taken to accomplish simple things, like the calendar plug-in, and how I've tried to find people to help me research out the calendar data, only to be presented with three or four entries, and ..

What is it in me that fails to inspire people to participate in this idea?

What is it in me that has people only wanting to criticize without suggestion?

What is it in me that has people want to stop communicating with me entirely?

What is it in me that I keep attracting people who don't keep their word?

I don't know.

So, perhaps the thing to do is to abandon Ken Doll, and the other people who have previously volunteered a willingness only through their speaking, and not through their action, start over with a team of people who are getting paid (once I find some money for the thing,) and just not worry about who's unwilling to participate. Find a new team. Attract some new energy and some new people.

And, I think also I should go to bed. I have a lot to accomplish tomorrow, not the least of which is scrounge up a bunch of cash.