So, I had my meeting today. It went quite well; they offered me a job. It's straight commission - which I've been on since 1937.
Also, contract, no benefits. Ditto. Smokers. The whole office.

On the other hand, they have a TON of work. Right away, they have about 150 files for me to go through, trying to find those that can be salvaged. Then, I have to sell the clients on fee-paid services, and then a loan. They do a ton of advertising. And, they have a home builder account that they want to turn over to me.

IF it all works out; IF the files pan out the way that they suggest, IF .. I could do fairly well. Still, no future, no equity, no promotion, no ..

No start-up fee to get the contract rolling. I kill it, I get 40%.

I did NOT want to go back to lending. I definately did not want to go back to a straight commission, no future environment.

However, all of my other "feelers" seem to be heading in the same ultimate direction. Spec work, no present fees for work produced, no guarantees of EVER making any money. If money does come together, it's in late 2005.

Um .. hello? I have to eat? Keep a roof over the dogs' heads?

What I want to do is make MY deal work. If I'm going to be eating what I kill, I'd rather have a larger percentage of it and control.

However. I have obligations and I have to generate money to get my deal rolling.

So, dear reader, I am stuck like glue. Yeah, they'll pay me at this mortgage company. While they ride me like the nickel pony ride on advice on all their legal screw ups and misperceptions about how the world REALLY works. I can see that coming as sure as Christmas.

Or, I can go on trying to do spec business development work with NO business flow, and everyone wanting my work product if they can pay me IF/WHEN the money comes in.

And I've made no decision. I just can't. I'm tired, but not resigned.