Opus 2, Vol 12, Movement 29
Enteracte -
(Joey enters, stands quietly up right)
Day nine of my self-enforced "no Y Chromosome" campaign. Things have gone relatively well. Today, Sunday, I did not log onto gay.coma at all. My realtor called me at about 7:00 to ask where the heck I'd been all day - he stays logged in ALL day. Yesterday, I was on around 9:00 at night for 10 minutes, then logged off in disgust. Friday, I wasn't on at all.
Friday night, I intended to just watch DVDs and be quiet. Saturday, Stevan (the dog groomer) came over early, and we cleaned, cleaned, cleaned. Pulled everything away from the walls, cleaned behind, under and around, put away the Christmas stuff, threw out four boxes (he's an efficient packing machine) and I bagged up three big bags of clothes for the next garage sale. I also started through my picture/image collection, and re-framed a bunch of stuff. Today, I hung up most of my Continental Airlines stuff, and got the rest of my Lockheed Constellation stuff ready to take to the office. I still have about three Continental things that I need to frame, and then there are the two 20th Century posters, and the eight 20th Century magazine ads that need to be framed.
Been talking to Eric from LA (who really lives in Vancouver) about colors for the apartment, and he's got some great suggestions. I want to bring him down here to help me finish up my website work, and to .. heck .. I don't know .. hang out and drink.
So, yesterday and today were productive, even though the guest bed still looks like someone urped all over it.
Urped is a technical term for "vomited." It comes from the midwest.
Back to Joey. Isn't it nice that he's been sitting patiently in the background?
So, Joey was sent to me by Scott (aka Scotticia, aka Scooter butt) for some home improvement stuff. Now, I knew that Scott had been all a-twitter (another technical term) for Joey for months after having met him on AOL. However, I was not prepared for his demon sexiness when he arrived Friday night to "check out what I needed done."
Now, let me be clear - Joey is NOT flirtatious. But, it seems he's done a stint as a male dancer, and so he knows how to work the crowd. He wanted to jump right into the home improvement work, so Friday night, he wired up some halogen lights over my sofa table (bought them six months ago, never installed) and re-wired my home theater (running the wires behind the walls and so on; something I had wanted to have done for nearly five years.) The home theater now ROCKS it sounds so awesome.
Now, while doing this, he peeled out of his shirt, wearing only his white shiney Addidas warm-up pants, which revealed quite clearly that he was commando.
He asked for 1/4 down (which I gladly coughed up) and said he'd be back in about a week.
Now, he's calling several times a day, wanting to get started RIGHT NOW.
I need to schedule him to work when I'm at work, so that I don't have him naked in front of me. It would detract from the anti-Y campaign, totally. I'd start getting ideas, and then I'd develop expectations.
Which lead to cramps.
I have decided that this next year will be the year of the website. I'm going to re-do drdivo, my personal site, and I'm going to have my airline site launched (it will be nearly functional, but won't offer tickets or travel .. 'cause that would be bad. However, I do intend to create and market marked goods - like leather travel folios, luggage tags, etc.) So, I wrote to E tonight and asked him to come down. Then, I need to meet with David (the married - talk about distracting) and visit with him about the airline site.
So - time to try to watch "Enigma" again. It's billed as a "thriller" and it's really [so far] about as exciting as watching white paint dry. On a wall that was already white. In a place you don't own. Or care about.
Ciao!
DJHJD
Sunday, December 29, 2002
Wednesday, December 25, 2002
Memories, Christmas memories -
I'm listening to an old LP of Christmas music - instrumentals - that my mother used to play all the time when we were little. The sound is so rich, and the popping and static reminds me of those holidays in the 1960s and 1970s when the snow was heavy, and thick, the colored christmas lights shone out from their nests of white, and it was toasty warm inside.
My mother and her sisters always put their all into the holidays - decorating, baking, selecting presents and wrapping them - now that I'm that age, I wonder how they did it all. They created a magical, special environment that gave meaning to the idea of Santa Claus and the human interaction that this time is supposed to bring us.
I have to fight to keep the house clean, and if it weren't for the internet, no one would get a present of any kind.
Sometimes, I think that we just lose the ability to experience that magic again, because of our age, and the pressing responsibilities that we have as adults.
But, four years ago, my sister and her girlfriend were able to re-create that magic when I spent Christmas at their home in Albany - so I know that it's possible.
This was one of the first holiday seasons where I didn't have huge emotional upheaval related to my family. For eleven years; from 1988 to 1991, I was PNG with most of my family. Before my mother went into a home, she and my sister were planning family events for Thanksgiving where I was excluded. My father would beg me to attend Christmas, and a few hours later his wife would call and say that they had no place to put me, they didn't have enough places at the table, they were going to one of his sister's homes and I knew that I wasn't going to be able to go there.
So, every holiday was a struggle from about October until today. I didn't spend Christmas with my family for years. Today, and earlier in the season, I was noticing that there was this huge absence of emotional stress around the holidays. It's just a big irritation in the middle of the work effort around the end of the year.
Tomorrow morning, most of the rest of the world and I go back to work.
My sister gave me a book that looks to be a HOOT - a novel about the life of the wicked witch of the west! She also gave me a switchplate cover that's pink with stars on it and says "Princess" - which will go on the wall next to the bedroom closet door tonight later. A new Star Trek key chain .. all amusing stuff.
I'm now listening to the Messiah. The sound of LPs is so rich, compared to CDs and other digitized forms.
Another Christmas past.
Back to reality.
I'm listening to an old LP of Christmas music - instrumentals - that my mother used to play all the time when we were little. The sound is so rich, and the popping and static reminds me of those holidays in the 1960s and 1970s when the snow was heavy, and thick, the colored christmas lights shone out from their nests of white, and it was toasty warm inside.
My mother and her sisters always put their all into the holidays - decorating, baking, selecting presents and wrapping them - now that I'm that age, I wonder how they did it all. They created a magical, special environment that gave meaning to the idea of Santa Claus and the human interaction that this time is supposed to bring us.
I have to fight to keep the house clean, and if it weren't for the internet, no one would get a present of any kind.
Sometimes, I think that we just lose the ability to experience that magic again, because of our age, and the pressing responsibilities that we have as adults.
But, four years ago, my sister and her girlfriend were able to re-create that magic when I spent Christmas at their home in Albany - so I know that it's possible.
This was one of the first holiday seasons where I didn't have huge emotional upheaval related to my family. For eleven years; from 1988 to 1991, I was PNG with most of my family. Before my mother went into a home, she and my sister were planning family events for Thanksgiving where I was excluded. My father would beg me to attend Christmas, and a few hours later his wife would call and say that they had no place to put me, they didn't have enough places at the table, they were going to one of his sister's homes and I knew that I wasn't going to be able to go there.
So, every holiday was a struggle from about October until today. I didn't spend Christmas with my family for years. Today, and earlier in the season, I was noticing that there was this huge absence of emotional stress around the holidays. It's just a big irritation in the middle of the work effort around the end of the year.
Tomorrow morning, most of the rest of the world and I go back to work.
My sister gave me a book that looks to be a HOOT - a novel about the life of the wicked witch of the west! She also gave me a switchplate cover that's pink with stars on it and says "Princess" - which will go on the wall next to the bedroom closet door tonight later. A new Star Trek key chain .. all amusing stuff.
I'm now listening to the Messiah. The sound of LPs is so rich, compared to CDs and other digitized forms.
Another Christmas past.
Back to reality.
The Ghosts of Christmas past ...
Merry Christmas from the Central Time Zone. It's been here about 20 minutes so far.
I just finished watching "All Over the Guy." Yes, again. I don't know why I so love that movie. I'll probably watch it again tomorrow at Kurtis and David's house.
Just before I left the office today, I stumbled across a picture on one of my favorite websites - airliner's net - I'll show it to you in a second. The first day I found airliners.net, I was up until 3:30 in the morning surfing through the thousands upon thousands of aircraft pictures.
Yes, I'm an airline geek. No, they haven't invented a 12 step group for that yet.
Anyway, this picture is of my favorite airplane (777) owned by my favorite airline (Continental) coming in to land in Houston/IAH on a gloomy fall day. This is about as Christmas-y as it gets here in the sub-tropics, but this shot captures everything I love about this town, that airline and airplanes in general in one dramatic, gorgeous shot.
http://www.airliners.net/open.file?id=289493
Have I ever mentioned that my sister is just amazing? I emailed her on Thursday to tell her that I wasn't coming to Florida for Christmas, and she STILL got all of my presents to me yesterday even though she left Friday morning for Tampa. How did she do it?
Anyhow, I have some ghosts to purge about Christmas with my family, but it's late and I'm going to bed. The problem with taking part of a day off is that you have a chance to take a big nap, and then when it's past bedtime, you're not tired!
I'll conjure up some verbiage, and write more when I get up.
Merry Christmas from the Central Time Zone. It's been here about 20 minutes so far.
I just finished watching "All Over the Guy." Yes, again. I don't know why I so love that movie. I'll probably watch it again tomorrow at Kurtis and David's house.
Just before I left the office today, I stumbled across a picture on one of my favorite websites - airliner's net - I'll show it to you in a second. The first day I found airliners.net, I was up until 3:30 in the morning surfing through the thousands upon thousands of aircraft pictures.
Yes, I'm an airline geek. No, they haven't invented a 12 step group for that yet.
Anyway, this picture is of my favorite airplane (777) owned by my favorite airline (Continental) coming in to land in Houston/IAH on a gloomy fall day. This is about as Christmas-y as it gets here in the sub-tropics, but this shot captures everything I love about this town, that airline and airplanes in general in one dramatic, gorgeous shot.
http://www.airliners.net/open.file?id=289493
Have I ever mentioned that my sister is just amazing? I emailed her on Thursday to tell her that I wasn't coming to Florida for Christmas, and she STILL got all of my presents to me yesterday even though she left Friday morning for Tampa. How did she do it?
Anyhow, I have some ghosts to purge about Christmas with my family, but it's late and I'm going to bed. The problem with taking part of a day off is that you have a chance to take a big nap, and then when it's past bedtime, you're not tired!
I'll conjure up some verbiage, and write more when I get up.
Sunday, December 22, 2002
My entire blog - gone. Because of me trying to look at a webpage, which nuked me.
So, time to recreate.
Today, I was a productive boy. I pulled out about 1/4 of the hardcover books and re-arranged them, threw out a whole bag of old paper and crap, then, pulled the paperbacks out (which resided in a cabinet, all helter-skelter and impossible to sort through) and moved them. THEN, I pulled all the VHS out - I have TWICE as many as I thought, and I sorted them. Now, I have three stashes, each alphabetized - I need to have it down to TWO, but I need better storage for that to happen. Once done with that, I went through ALL the casette tapes, and tossed about 40, pulled out about 20 to sell on eBay (yes, more eBaying - I'm close to having a rating of 200.) All that remains now is to move more pictures around, have some things framed and hang THEM up, decide on paint colors in the living room and dining room .. figure out if I can put down wood floors .. re-hang a bunch of stuff in the laundry room .. go through the boxes in the bedroom closet, heave out another big batch of stuff and organize the stuff that remains into well-labeled boxes.
THEN ..
I won't have much left to do around here.
Except keep it all clean.
Tomorrow night, my buddy Curtis is coming over to have me look at some lease to own paperwork he just took out on a house in Magnolia (go to the end of the earth, turn left - watch for the drop off) - he started talking about home improvements, and all of the stuff that he planned on doing - and I [of course] asked whether he did that sort of work on the side.
And he does.
So, although he doesn't know it yet - he'll be looking at the damaged walls, where the speaker wire needs to be run, etc., etc.
I'm listening to a CD remix of dance songs from 1998 - that's when my friend Jeffrey and I used to be disco queens - I have SUCH a kick-ass stereo - it's not even breathing hard (my stereo is kicking out the tunes, and is pretty much filing its nails at the moment) - I have two speakers that I want hung in the den here so that I can play DJ while I play on the computer. I will have him do that too.
I hadn't talked to my sweet Owen ALL weekend until just about a half hour ago. He just got home from work (4 a.m. for him) and he's been talking to me. He's a hoot. And, he makes me feel good.
Nothing profound today - just been a busy boy. Have a WHOLE lot of work to get done this week at the office - so - have to get some sleep tonight!
So, time to recreate.
Today, I was a productive boy. I pulled out about 1/4 of the hardcover books and re-arranged them, threw out a whole bag of old paper and crap, then, pulled the paperbacks out (which resided in a cabinet, all helter-skelter and impossible to sort through) and moved them. THEN, I pulled all the VHS out - I have TWICE as many as I thought, and I sorted them. Now, I have three stashes, each alphabetized - I need to have it down to TWO, but I need better storage for that to happen. Once done with that, I went through ALL the casette tapes, and tossed about 40, pulled out about 20 to sell on eBay (yes, more eBaying - I'm close to having a rating of 200.) All that remains now is to move more pictures around, have some things framed and hang THEM up, decide on paint colors in the living room and dining room .. figure out if I can put down wood floors .. re-hang a bunch of stuff in the laundry room .. go through the boxes in the bedroom closet, heave out another big batch of stuff and organize the stuff that remains into well-labeled boxes.
THEN ..
I won't have much left to do around here.
Except keep it all clean.
Tomorrow night, my buddy Curtis is coming over to have me look at some lease to own paperwork he just took out on a house in Magnolia (go to the end of the earth, turn left - watch for the drop off) - he started talking about home improvements, and all of the stuff that he planned on doing - and I [of course] asked whether he did that sort of work on the side.
And he does.
So, although he doesn't know it yet - he'll be looking at the damaged walls, where the speaker wire needs to be run, etc., etc.
I'm listening to a CD remix of dance songs from 1998 - that's when my friend Jeffrey and I used to be disco queens - I have SUCH a kick-ass stereo - it's not even breathing hard (my stereo is kicking out the tunes, and is pretty much filing its nails at the moment) - I have two speakers that I want hung in the den here so that I can play DJ while I play on the computer. I will have him do that too.
I hadn't talked to my sweet Owen ALL weekend until just about a half hour ago. He just got home from work (4 a.m. for him) and he's been talking to me. He's a hoot. And, he makes me feel good.
Nothing profound today - just been a busy boy. Have a WHOLE lot of work to get done this week at the office - so - have to get some sleep tonight!
Friday, December 20, 2002
Friday at 1500
Boy you can tell things are winding down. It was very, very busy this morning, but this afternoon has gotten very slow.
Looks to be a very quiet Friday night. No plans, except to have my head rotated after work. Have to put in some hours tomorrow doing legal work for Michael, as I haven't really had the time or attention to do any of that recently.
I think tonight I'll finish watching "Maltese Falcon" and "The Eyes of Tammy Faye." And do laundry, since it's overflowing the hamper.
I am officially no longer chasing, interviewing, looking for or communicating with "Y" chromosomes. It's a worthless pursuit, fraught with peril. It's expensive, not only in coin of the realm, but in emotional coin as well. I've wasted years of my life chasing boys, men, bois, married guys, straight guys .. it's a WASTE.
So - just like Jeffrey - I'm going sober.
Boy you can tell things are winding down. It was very, very busy this morning, but this afternoon has gotten very slow.
Looks to be a very quiet Friday night. No plans, except to have my head rotated after work. Have to put in some hours tomorrow doing legal work for Michael, as I haven't really had the time or attention to do any of that recently.
I think tonight I'll finish watching "Maltese Falcon" and "The Eyes of Tammy Faye." And do laundry, since it's overflowing the hamper.
I am officially no longer chasing, interviewing, looking for or communicating with "Y" chromosomes. It's a worthless pursuit, fraught with peril. It's expensive, not only in coin of the realm, but in emotional coin as well. I've wasted years of my life chasing boys, men, bois, married guys, straight guys .. it's a WASTE.
So - just like Jeffrey - I'm going sober.
Wednesday, December 18, 2002
Happy Holi-daze
The last Wednesday before Christmas - the last business Wednesday of the year, in fact.
I have a closing set for tomorrow, and the lender has been like a ghost ship. A client who has to close in a week who won't provide me with any documents. Another client who swears that she has given me the financial records I requested, and that I just lost them.
My friend Mikey just was whining that he's not featured heavily enough in my blog. So, everyone - please wave "hi" to Mikey - my friend who's online persona is "Cajuntxn." Mikey is one of my computer geek friends, who recently came over and rescued my home computer from a certain death. He is always after me to pimp him out with any young men that I can find, and loves to watch movies with me. He's a nifty guy, and has a heart as big as a Louisiana swamp, which constitutes most of the southern half of that state.
Owen was sick with the flu today, which required me to focus on work related tasks. Eric from Vancouver (E - is his official moniker) thinks that I'm "avoiding" something by finding Owen so appealing. I think everyone just needs to have a drink and sit down for a while.
My realtor "friend" today told me that he didn't think I actually worked. That is the general perception of realtors - that no one else in the transaction actually works. The people at title companies are working nights and weekends, the appraisers are overwhelmed, the insurance agents can't keep up, I wake up every night around 4:30 - worrying about deadlines and whether everything is handled - I just canceled my trip to be with family for Christmas -
But no, we none of us have anything to do with a file showing up at the closing table ready to close.
Just four more minutes, and I'm leaving - it's dark already.
Tonight, it looks like I get to have an evening of peace and quiet. Last night, spending a little time with Brian was very nice - he's such a wonderful man, and just getting really settled into a new world for himself. He adpated so quickly; I guess everyone does when faced with extreme change.
5:30 is upon me, so - until later!
The last Wednesday before Christmas - the last business Wednesday of the year, in fact.
I have a closing set for tomorrow, and the lender has been like a ghost ship. A client who has to close in a week who won't provide me with any documents. Another client who swears that she has given me the financial records I requested, and that I just lost them.
My friend Mikey just was whining that he's not featured heavily enough in my blog. So, everyone - please wave "hi" to Mikey - my friend who's online persona is "Cajuntxn." Mikey is one of my computer geek friends, who recently came over and rescued my home computer from a certain death. He is always after me to pimp him out with any young men that I can find, and loves to watch movies with me. He's a nifty guy, and has a heart as big as a Louisiana swamp, which constitutes most of the southern half of that state.
Owen was sick with the flu today, which required me to focus on work related tasks. Eric from Vancouver (E - is his official moniker) thinks that I'm "avoiding" something by finding Owen so appealing. I think everyone just needs to have a drink and sit down for a while.
My realtor "friend" today told me that he didn't think I actually worked. That is the general perception of realtors - that no one else in the transaction actually works. The people at title companies are working nights and weekends, the appraisers are overwhelmed, the insurance agents can't keep up, I wake up every night around 4:30 - worrying about deadlines and whether everything is handled - I just canceled my trip to be with family for Christmas -
But no, we none of us have anything to do with a file showing up at the closing table ready to close.
Just four more minutes, and I'm leaving - it's dark already.
Tonight, it looks like I get to have an evening of peace and quiet. Last night, spending a little time with Brian was very nice - he's such a wonderful man, and just getting really settled into a new world for himself. He adpated so quickly; I guess everyone does when faced with extreme change.
5:30 is upon me, so - until later!
Tuesday, December 17, 2002
A quick note -
Today was a HOOT. My sweet friend Owen from Poznan had me in stitches half the day; I'll have to write more about that when I have a little time.
Also talked to my friend in Frankfurt - the one who wants me to visit with him in January - he was saying that I didn't write about him quite enough, thank you very much. So, let me tell you more about Timmy. He's very sweet, he's a purser for a European airline, which means I get to chase him around looking for dirt about the airline biz, he's handsome, funny, flirtatious and he looks great naked, which is more than most guys in their late 30s can say.
He and his partner are traveling to the US in May, I think it is, and I've persuaded them (I think) to spend a number of days here at the Casita de Divo so that I can show them the local hospertality. This involves trips to the Galleria, to NASA, to Galveston (where visitors are uniformly horrified by the mud brown water and the general state of disrepair) and lots and lots of TexMex food.
I proposed to Owen today. He said yes, but I think he was mostly kidding.
Okay, I'm re-reading "Headwind" by John J. Nance, and I'm at a good part, so I'm going to publish, and go to bed earlier than last night.
Until the morrow ..
Today was a HOOT. My sweet friend Owen from Poznan had me in stitches half the day; I'll have to write more about that when I have a little time.
Also talked to my friend in Frankfurt - the one who wants me to visit with him in January - he was saying that I didn't write about him quite enough, thank you very much. So, let me tell you more about Timmy. He's very sweet, he's a purser for a European airline, which means I get to chase him around looking for dirt about the airline biz, he's handsome, funny, flirtatious and he looks great naked, which is more than most guys in their late 30s can say.
He and his partner are traveling to the US in May, I think it is, and I've persuaded them (I think) to spend a number of days here at the Casita de Divo so that I can show them the local hospertality. This involves trips to the Galleria, to NASA, to Galveston (where visitors are uniformly horrified by the mud brown water and the general state of disrepair) and lots and lots of TexMex food.
I proposed to Owen today. He said yes, but I think he was mostly kidding.
Okay, I'm re-reading "Headwind" by John J. Nance, and I'm at a good part, so I'm going to publish, and go to bed earlier than last night.
Until the morrow ..
Monday, December 16, 2002
More thoughts on unrealistic expectations
Heard from PJ today again .. he was whining about the phone card that I had set up for him so he could call (not that he ever called ME with it, but he burned through thirty dollars worth) He wanted me to set it up for him again.
Uh, no. He offered to send me money to do it. I think I was acerbic.
Anyway, I was fiddling around, and realized that I had talked about Owen from Poznan several times, but didn't give you a look at him. He's really something.
face-pic.com profile for owen_21
Heard from PJ today again .. he was whining about the phone card that I had set up for him so he could call (not that he ever called ME with it, but he burned through thirty dollars worth) He wanted me to set it up for him again.
Uh, no. He offered to send me money to do it. I think I was acerbic.
Anyway, I was fiddling around, and realized that I had talked about Owen from Poznan several times, but didn't give you a look at him. He's really something.
face-pic.com profile for owen_21
It's another day in paradise
Spent the whole day doing Christmas cards and chasing loan elements. Finally got one in the hopper; closing Thursday. However, everything else that was promised to me for today has NOT showed up.
But - the Christmas cards are all done, and the business Christmas letters are out the door.
I had to find a translator for one big deal this afternoon late - fortunately, my temp John knew someone and he was right on top of it. Hopefully, this will break the communications logjam.
Talked ongoingly today with that sweet boi in Poznan, Poland. He's just great! He's freezing his butt off, but he's fun to talk to. We were joking ongoingly about the number of men in different parts of the world who send .. well, old fat white gay guys like me .. a picture or two over the internet and suddenly are asking for money and visa sponsorships. I had shared a few of my war stories on this issue with him .. and he wasn't believing it .. quite .. and right in the middle of our ongoing conversation - I get an IM from this lad in Morocco with whom I've spoken THREE times in four months.
Just so that Owen (that's the boy in Poznan) can belive this, here's a quick transcript:
elazri: i have a problem
drdivo: what is it
elazri: my sister it is very sick, and it need for bought the medicamo
drdivo: hm
elazri: yes
drdivo: So you're telling me you need money
elazri: yes, but why this question ?
drdivo: That's waht you were telling me
drdivo: what is she sick with
elazri: she is sick in here estomac and need a operation
drdivo: ah
drdivo: how old is she, your sister?
elazri: 38 years
elazri: I want to ask for a little money of you, but perhaps you do not want because you do not know me well...... ....
drdivo: on second
elazri: ok
drdivo: I had to write a letter for a customer
elazri: ok
elazri: allo
elazri: do you wa
elazri: do you want to hilp my sister?
drdivo: Well - I really have only talked to you three times -
drdivo: it's not something I can do just yet
elazri: ok not problem
elazri: i am sorry
drdivo: it's okay -
<<>>>
I think he just couldn't believe it. Owen, that is.
So far, I've been asked for a visa, housing and moving expenses for a boy from Zimbabwe who's here on a student visa, for a visa and money for a computer from a guy in Pakistan, moving money and housing from a guy in Albany, New York, a visa from a guy in Malaysia .. and this is all just since about Thanksgiving.
Owen says that his sister needs cosmetics - so, could I please send HIM money.
He's a hoot.
My desk still looks like someone blew it up.
Tonight, Stevan wants to come over and groom Barney.
I don't know if I'm up for that just now. I should, though. It's going to involve a trip to the store for Fabreeze, as Jackie's been peeing again.
Yesterday, talked to a guy I know who is one of those fags that can do color and texture. I can do furniture arranging, but not color. I've been thinking of painting, and wanted to have an idea of what I can do. He's suggesting medium red with white or taupe trim, and light taupe wood floor. My friend Eric thinks that it would be too dark, but suggests something "wild" for the kitchen. Wild - colorwise.
I guess that's about all the news that's fit to print for the moment. It's 6:00 - I need to get out of here!
Spent the whole day doing Christmas cards and chasing loan elements. Finally got one in the hopper; closing Thursday. However, everything else that was promised to me for today has NOT showed up.
But - the Christmas cards are all done, and the business Christmas letters are out the door.
I had to find a translator for one big deal this afternoon late - fortunately, my temp John knew someone and he was right on top of it. Hopefully, this will break the communications logjam.
Talked ongoingly today with that sweet boi in Poznan, Poland. He's just great! He's freezing his butt off, but he's fun to talk to. We were joking ongoingly about the number of men in different parts of the world who send .. well, old fat white gay guys like me .. a picture or two over the internet and suddenly are asking for money and visa sponsorships. I had shared a few of my war stories on this issue with him .. and he wasn't believing it .. quite .. and right in the middle of our ongoing conversation - I get an IM from this lad in Morocco with whom I've spoken THREE times in four months.
Just so that Owen (that's the boy in Poznan) can belive this, here's a quick transcript:
elazri: i have a problem
drdivo: what is it
elazri: my sister it is very sick, and it need for bought the medicamo
drdivo: hm
elazri: yes
drdivo: So you're telling me you need money
elazri: yes, but why this question ?
drdivo: That's waht you were telling me
drdivo: what is she sick with
elazri: she is sick in here estomac and need a operation
drdivo: ah
drdivo: how old is she, your sister?
elazri: 38 years
elazri: I want to ask for a little money of you, but perhaps you do not want because you do not know me well...... ....
drdivo: on second
elazri: ok
drdivo: I had to write a letter for a customer
elazri: ok
elazri: allo
elazri: do you wa
elazri: do you want to hilp my sister?
drdivo: Well - I really have only talked to you three times -
drdivo: it's not something I can do just yet
elazri: ok not problem
elazri: i am sorry
drdivo: it's okay -
<<
I think he just couldn't believe it. Owen, that is.
So far, I've been asked for a visa, housing and moving expenses for a boy from Zimbabwe who's here on a student visa, for a visa and money for a computer from a guy in Pakistan, moving money and housing from a guy in Albany, New York, a visa from a guy in Malaysia .. and this is all just since about Thanksgiving.
Owen says that his sister needs cosmetics - so, could I please send HIM money.
He's a hoot.
My desk still looks like someone blew it up.
Tonight, Stevan wants to come over and groom Barney.
I don't know if I'm up for that just now. I should, though. It's going to involve a trip to the store for Fabreeze, as Jackie's been peeing again.
Yesterday, talked to a guy I know who is one of those fags that can do color and texture. I can do furniture arranging, but not color. I've been thinking of painting, and wanted to have an idea of what I can do. He's suggesting medium red with white or taupe trim, and light taupe wood floor. My friend Eric thinks that it would be too dark, but suggests something "wild" for the kitchen. Wild - colorwise.
I guess that's about all the news that's fit to print for the moment. It's 6:00 - I need to get out of here!
Sunday, December 15, 2002
White elephants
Sometimes, I dearly envy my friend James. He swears that his memory doesn't allow him to remember things. I, however, have the curse of perfect recall, even if I was drunk off my ass.
Tonight, I went to the Classic Chassis Car Club White Elephant Christmas party. I so do NOT feel a part of that group. I was one of the founding members, and left around the time of the Great Summer Camp escapade.
I brought a 3 CD thing I bought on a KLM flight three years ago (big mistake - that thing was elevator music) to give to the White Elephant thing. There were about 60 guys there - I was in the younger 20% of the crowd. Since this included the four boy toys present, that's quite a statement.
That was quite a thing to see - men in their late 40s to early 60s squiring around thin, young, men under 22. It just looked so - wrong? Disconnected? Weird?
What do they talk about?
The party broke up around 9, and I left. Came back here, and talked to some friends on the computer.
I was supposed to be in Dallas for a big Christmas party there - I haven't been to Dallas all year (part of the air travel lament - see an earlier comment) and they were very happy I was coming up.
Last week, my friend Larry revealed that Al Aparicio and his boyfriend AND Pablo the male dancer would all be at the party. That was just too much to contemplate.
January, 2000 - I had been sort of seeing Al from time to time - he lived in Austin at the time - and we talked regularly. He was totally in the closet; engaged to a woman, etc., etc. I invited him to a party in Dallas at Larry's house - suggested the weekend could be a good thing for him - he could spend some time in the gay world without fear of being discovered, or whatever.
So, he came up. Met me there on Friday night. No, we weren't in a relationship, we didn't have any agreements, but we were there on a weekend DATE.
Bottom line - the dick dancer at the party - Pablo (from Ecuador) got WAY drunk. Started hitting on Al. Al said "no." We all went to bed about 2:30. Al and I had sex.
Ungratifying, one-sided sex, but nonetheless.
At about 4:00 a.m., Pablo came into the bedroom where Al and I were sleeping. Crawls in bed on top of Al. They start making out.
Have you ever been in a situation like this? In the same room - or worse - in the same BED with two people who are having sex? It's just the most pathetic thing you can feel.
Al tried to encourage me to join in, but Pablo shoved me off the bed.
That would be on the floor, folks.
Al said nothing. Did nothing. Just .. kept on doing his thing.
So, I grabbed my bathrobe and went into the living room.
A few minutes later (note - not right away) Al came out into the living room. He wanted to know what was wrong.
Amazing. Do I haul out the chalkboard and draw a picture? No, I just told him to go back and finish what he was doing. He said he was there in Dallas to be with me, and that he couldn't just leave me out in the living room upset and go back to having sex with Pablo.
Oh, no? You were doing a great job of it before.. what changed?
He told me that I should know he had so few opportunities to explore his sexuality, and that I was being selfish in not allowing him this chance with Pablo.
So, what was I supposed to do? Sit there in bed and knit while they did it?
Pablo shuffles out about this time, and whines that "he's sorry."
Does anyone else experience this kind of insanity?
Finally, Al said that he was there to be with me, and asked me to come back to bed. We went back to the bedroom, he pushed Pablo's clothes out into the hall, and closed and locked the door.
Not that I slept.
I heard Larry getting up around 7:30 or so, and I joined him in the kitchen for coffee. He asked if he had heard some drama in the night, so I told him what had occured. He was, of course, shocked.
About this time, Al comes out of the bedroom, fully dressed and packed to leave. Okay, 'bye.
Moments later, Pablo comes out - and will NOT look at me. He leaves through the front door.
At the time, I just shrugged it off. But, a few months later, when Al contacted me (for the first time) to tell me he had started DATING someone (else) he had met at the party (I knew this already from my friends in Dallas) it really hit me just how horribly hurtful that all had been. And, when Larry revealed to me that the entire dramticus personae would be attending the fest in Grand Prairie .. I just decided not to go.
Which I hate doing, because I just hate going back on my word.
The funny thing about the disease that I have - people just don't understand it at all. They think you're just "moody" and difficult. Even my sister, who is VERY compassionate, can't understand that I have little control over my social interactions.
And the medication makes me a zombie. And it costs a blazing fortune.
At least I've now learned when I'm close to the edge, and I have the ability to try to prevent me from going OVER the edge by avoiding drinking and other co-factors. There are a few others I need to get better at avoiding.
Still, I just feel like an alien visiting this planet half the time.
These last two days have been REAL rough.
A note to any blog fans who don't know what I'm talking about: There are a couple of people who DO know - My sister, Richard, Larry, my dad (and, by extension, my entire family, since he can't help but tell everyone everything within minutes of learning about it) and Brian. Brian who I haven't yet mentioned here, but who reads this about every day. I told Brian about this when he had nine martinis in his system, and so I am betting that he'll never remember a thing about it.
Don't feel left out. People can't handle it. Yes, it's serious, no, you won't understand it - you'll think I am a space alien, and no, it's not HIV. Yes, it's going to kill me sooner or later. Unless some miracle occurs, and my business partner decides to cough up some health insurance, and I can get on regular medication. The meds cost some $350 a month - plus the bi-weekly doctors visits.
Even then, I don't know that it's something that can be managed, as opposed to just slowed down.
Don't feel bad. And, no - I'm not going to tell you OR drop hints. Just forget it.
Sometimes, I dearly envy my friend James. He swears that his memory doesn't allow him to remember things. I, however, have the curse of perfect recall, even if I was drunk off my ass.
Tonight, I went to the Classic Chassis Car Club White Elephant Christmas party. I so do NOT feel a part of that group. I was one of the founding members, and left around the time of the Great Summer Camp escapade.
I brought a 3 CD thing I bought on a KLM flight three years ago (big mistake - that thing was elevator music) to give to the White Elephant thing. There were about 60 guys there - I was in the younger 20% of the crowd. Since this included the four boy toys present, that's quite a statement.
That was quite a thing to see - men in their late 40s to early 60s squiring around thin, young, men under 22. It just looked so - wrong? Disconnected? Weird?
What do they talk about?
The party broke up around 9, and I left. Came back here, and talked to some friends on the computer.
I was supposed to be in Dallas for a big Christmas party there - I haven't been to Dallas all year (part of the air travel lament - see an earlier comment) and they were very happy I was coming up.
Last week, my friend Larry revealed that Al Aparicio and his boyfriend AND Pablo the male dancer would all be at the party. That was just too much to contemplate.
January, 2000 - I had been sort of seeing Al from time to time - he lived in Austin at the time - and we talked regularly. He was totally in the closet; engaged to a woman, etc., etc. I invited him to a party in Dallas at Larry's house - suggested the weekend could be a good thing for him - he could spend some time in the gay world without fear of being discovered, or whatever.
So, he came up. Met me there on Friday night. No, we weren't in a relationship, we didn't have any agreements, but we were there on a weekend DATE.
Bottom line - the dick dancer at the party - Pablo (from Ecuador) got WAY drunk. Started hitting on Al. Al said "no." We all went to bed about 2:30. Al and I had sex.
Ungratifying, one-sided sex, but nonetheless.
At about 4:00 a.m., Pablo came into the bedroom where Al and I were sleeping. Crawls in bed on top of Al. They start making out.
Have you ever been in a situation like this? In the same room - or worse - in the same BED with two people who are having sex? It's just the most pathetic thing you can feel.
Al tried to encourage me to join in, but Pablo shoved me off the bed.
That would be on the floor, folks.
Al said nothing. Did nothing. Just .. kept on doing his thing.
So, I grabbed my bathrobe and went into the living room.
A few minutes later (note - not right away) Al came out into the living room. He wanted to know what was wrong.
Amazing. Do I haul out the chalkboard and draw a picture? No, I just told him to go back and finish what he was doing. He said he was there in Dallas to be with me, and that he couldn't just leave me out in the living room upset and go back to having sex with Pablo.
Oh, no? You were doing a great job of it before.. what changed?
He told me that I should know he had so few opportunities to explore his sexuality, and that I was being selfish in not allowing him this chance with Pablo.
So, what was I supposed to do? Sit there in bed and knit while they did it?
Pablo shuffles out about this time, and whines that "he's sorry."
Does anyone else experience this kind of insanity?
Finally, Al said that he was there to be with me, and asked me to come back to bed. We went back to the bedroom, he pushed Pablo's clothes out into the hall, and closed and locked the door.
Not that I slept.
I heard Larry getting up around 7:30 or so, and I joined him in the kitchen for coffee. He asked if he had heard some drama in the night, so I told him what had occured. He was, of course, shocked.
About this time, Al comes out of the bedroom, fully dressed and packed to leave. Okay, 'bye.
Moments later, Pablo comes out - and will NOT look at me. He leaves through the front door.
At the time, I just shrugged it off. But, a few months later, when Al contacted me (for the first time) to tell me he had started DATING someone (else) he had met at the party (I knew this already from my friends in Dallas) it really hit me just how horribly hurtful that all had been. And, when Larry revealed to me that the entire dramticus personae would be attending the fest in Grand Prairie .. I just decided not to go.
Which I hate doing, because I just hate going back on my word.
The funny thing about the disease that I have - people just don't understand it at all. They think you're just "moody" and difficult. Even my sister, who is VERY compassionate, can't understand that I have little control over my social interactions.
And the medication makes me a zombie. And it costs a blazing fortune.
At least I've now learned when I'm close to the edge, and I have the ability to try to prevent me from going OVER the edge by avoiding drinking and other co-factors. There are a few others I need to get better at avoiding.
Still, I just feel like an alien visiting this planet half the time.
These last two days have been REAL rough.
A note to any blog fans who don't know what I'm talking about: There are a couple of people who DO know - My sister, Richard, Larry, my dad (and, by extension, my entire family, since he can't help but tell everyone everything within minutes of learning about it) and Brian. Brian who I haven't yet mentioned here, but who reads this about every day. I told Brian about this when he had nine martinis in his system, and so I am betting that he'll never remember a thing about it.
Don't feel left out. People can't handle it. Yes, it's serious, no, you won't understand it - you'll think I am a space alien, and no, it's not HIV. Yes, it's going to kill me sooner or later. Unless some miracle occurs, and my business partner decides to cough up some health insurance, and I can get on regular medication. The meds cost some $350 a month - plus the bi-weekly doctors visits.
Even then, I don't know that it's something that can be managed, as opposed to just slowed down.
Don't feel bad. And, no - I'm not going to tell you OR drop hints. Just forget it.
Friday, December 13, 2002
My friend James wants to go drink margs at Cafe Noche. I hope they come in plastic buckets.
Had a call from PJ's employer this afternoon - he never picked up his bus ticket. Can I move my home and my office by tomorrow morning? Will it matter? 'Cause I ain't opening the door, and I ain't answering the phone.
Talked today (electronically) with a nice boy in the Gaza Strip. That was certainly interesting. He's interesting. Totally closeted, of course. Lives with a family of 10 plus his mom and dad.
The new state security force is probably tracking that I'm conversing with a gay art student in the Gaza Strip, and they're watching my movements.
Had a wonderful dinner with my friend James. Gave him a Visor for Christmas - he's loving playing with it. I think I monopolized the conversation talking about the theater - I'm still so identified with that theater that my name comes up on a google search associated with it.
Okay, time for some sleep. Wish me luck. Until tomorrow .. and "Star Trek - Nemesis!"
Had a call from PJ's employer this afternoon - he never picked up his bus ticket. Can I move my home and my office by tomorrow morning? Will it matter? 'Cause I ain't opening the door, and I ain't answering the phone.
Talked today (electronically) with a nice boy in the Gaza Strip. That was certainly interesting. He's interesting. Totally closeted, of course. Lives with a family of 10 plus his mom and dad.
The new state security force is probably tracking that I'm conversing with a gay art student in the Gaza Strip, and they're watching my movements.
Had a wonderful dinner with my friend James. Gave him a Visor for Christmas - he's loving playing with it. I think I monopolized the conversation talking about the theater - I'm still so identified with that theater that my name comes up on a google search associated with it.
Okay, time for some sleep. Wish me luck. Until tomorrow .. and "Star Trek - Nemesis!"
Ten shopping days -
Today has been irritating in the extreme - my MFC keeps printing incoming faxes over the top of jobs I'm trying to print; it's favorite is to print an incoming fax over the top of a page of postage labels that I've loaded, which then causes the MFC to print Express Mail postage on a black piece of paper.
Relocking loans, resubmitting loans, and trying to prioritize things by the number of days left in the month (ten - see above) before their anticipated closing dates. Watching my loan officer sulk because I'm not dropping everything to work on HIS file (note - file. Singular. One) which doesn't close until after January 12. Hello - it can wait.
Seeing David for lunch. He's my married buddy, who's so cool, but can't hang out after work because .. he's married.
Argh. Just so frustrated today. Not sure why.
Today has been irritating in the extreme - my MFC keeps printing incoming faxes over the top of jobs I'm trying to print; it's favorite is to print an incoming fax over the top of a page of postage labels that I've loaded, which then causes the MFC to print Express Mail postage on a black piece of paper.
Relocking loans, resubmitting loans, and trying to prioritize things by the number of days left in the month (ten - see above) before their anticipated closing dates. Watching my loan officer sulk because I'm not dropping everything to work on HIS file (note - file. Singular. One) which doesn't close until after January 12. Hello - it can wait.
Seeing David for lunch. He's my married buddy, who's so cool, but can't hang out after work because .. he's married.
Argh. Just so frustrated today. Not sure why.
Definitive word that says nothing -
Much like Trent Lott's apologies for his racist affirmations, the Medical Examiner's pronouncements on the cause of Johnny's death tell us little if anything:
"Acute Hepatic Failure with Cirrhosis due to Hepatitis B Virus Infection and Chronic Alcoholism, Associated with Myocarditis"
So, he died of a heart attack brought on by acute liver failure. Okay, like we didn't know that already.
The only news here is that he had Hep B. The part about alcoholism is assumed, and the phrasing should make that clear.
Time to vacuum and then go to work.
Much like Trent Lott's apologies for his racist affirmations, the Medical Examiner's pronouncements on the cause of Johnny's death tell us little if anything:
"Acute Hepatic Failure with Cirrhosis due to Hepatitis B Virus Infection and Chronic Alcoholism, Associated with Myocarditis"
So, he died of a heart attack brought on by acute liver failure. Okay, like we didn't know that already.
The only news here is that he had Hep B. The part about alcoholism is assumed, and the phrasing should make that clear.
Time to vacuum and then go to work.
Thursday, December 12, 2002
Hola chicas.
Today, today, today, today. Rain. More loan applications. Took a loan application from some very good friends; I've refinanced their house before. I just wonder what this is going to accomplish for them.
They're so set on doing this, and at the same time I have a couple who I can take from a 30 to a 15 year loan, keeping their payment the same, and they're resisting. Cutting 11 years off their mortgage? And keeping everything status quo ante? Sounds like a deal to me!
It's just all bass-ackwards.
Plus, I got a contract in today that needs to close by Christmas? The title work and the appraisal won't be done by the closing date set in the contract. What are people thinking?
It's just all something.
Spent part of my first PJ-free day chatting online with this really sweet guy from Poznan, Poland. He's just fun to talk to. He and a girlfriend are planning on traveling to the US for six months to study. He said it was -10 there in Poznan; about 0 degrees to those of us from the land of arrogance. He's freezing, and thinks that living in the sub-tropics sounds great.
I'm resolving to make this apartment mine for at least a good long while yet - I'm here through December, 2003, and so I'm thinking it's time to make some things more workable. I'm going to have more shelves put in the laundry room, have the speaker wires run behind the walls, have the sheet rock repaired, and the living room, dining room and kitchen repainted. Found a guy today who came by; offered to do the work for $300. Uh - scary?
I'll figure out some way to have it done, anyway. I'd REALLY love to rip up the carpeting, and put down some sort of dog-proof floor covering. Which, if I'm going to stay here, I may consider. Carpeting is so conventional, but these two dogs track in dirt like they're farm tractors. Not to mention the inevitable random puking, etc., etc., etc.
Kurtis and David - the penultimate gay couple - have their house in beautiful shades of taupe and beige with gorgeous tile floors. I don't think their dogs evacuate. Their house is always clean like .. I don't know .. the maid is scared to death of Leona Helmsley. But THEY HAVE NO MAID! They do it all themselves.
How does this happen? They both work. They have a yard, two dogs .. but .. it's always Better Fags & Gardens over there.
Plus, they both work out and have a social life.
Makes me wonder if they're space aliens or something. Or if I'm just lazy (which, if you were to follow my dad's line of reasoning, I probably am) My sister thinks I'm addicted to the internet. Which probably has some validity, too.
BUT I HAVE SOMEONE WHO I PAY TO CLEAN MY HOUSE. Every week. He grooms the dogs, too.
And still it looks like wreckage to me in here. Of course, today was house cleaning day, and he had to cancel.
Headed to Richard's for dinner tonight - Rick (the partner) wants to ask me some questions about my brief stint at The Alexander Group - how they researched, how they presented, etc.
Haven't heard from James today - before Thanksgiving - we talked EVERY day. After Thanksgiving - nearly zippo. I'll have to hunt him down.
Plus, he's my exercise buddy - and I need to get back on the track with him.
Well, it's time to get some sleep.
Today, today, today, today. Rain. More loan applications. Took a loan application from some very good friends; I've refinanced their house before. I just wonder what this is going to accomplish for them.
They're so set on doing this, and at the same time I have a couple who I can take from a 30 to a 15 year loan, keeping their payment the same, and they're resisting. Cutting 11 years off their mortgage? And keeping everything status quo ante? Sounds like a deal to me!
It's just all bass-ackwards.
Plus, I got a contract in today that needs to close by Christmas? The title work and the appraisal won't be done by the closing date set in the contract. What are people thinking?
It's just all something.
Spent part of my first PJ-free day chatting online with this really sweet guy from Poznan, Poland. He's just fun to talk to. He and a girlfriend are planning on traveling to the US for six months to study. He said it was -10 there in Poznan; about 0 degrees to those of us from the land of arrogance. He's freezing, and thinks that living in the sub-tropics sounds great.
I'm resolving to make this apartment mine for at least a good long while yet - I'm here through December, 2003, and so I'm thinking it's time to make some things more workable. I'm going to have more shelves put in the laundry room, have the speaker wires run behind the walls, have the sheet rock repaired, and the living room, dining room and kitchen repainted. Found a guy today who came by; offered to do the work for $300. Uh - scary?
I'll figure out some way to have it done, anyway. I'd REALLY love to rip up the carpeting, and put down some sort of dog-proof floor covering. Which, if I'm going to stay here, I may consider. Carpeting is so conventional, but these two dogs track in dirt like they're farm tractors. Not to mention the inevitable random puking, etc., etc., etc.
Kurtis and David - the penultimate gay couple - have their house in beautiful shades of taupe and beige with gorgeous tile floors. I don't think their dogs evacuate. Their house is always clean like .. I don't know .. the maid is scared to death of Leona Helmsley. But THEY HAVE NO MAID! They do it all themselves.
How does this happen? They both work. They have a yard, two dogs .. but .. it's always Better Fags & Gardens over there.
Plus, they both work out and have a social life.
Makes me wonder if they're space aliens or something. Or if I'm just lazy (which, if you were to follow my dad's line of reasoning, I probably am) My sister thinks I'm addicted to the internet. Which probably has some validity, too.
BUT I HAVE SOMEONE WHO I PAY TO CLEAN MY HOUSE. Every week. He grooms the dogs, too.
And still it looks like wreckage to me in here. Of course, today was house cleaning day, and he had to cancel.
Headed to Richard's for dinner tonight - Rick (the partner) wants to ask me some questions about my brief stint at The Alexander Group - how they researched, how they presented, etc.
Haven't heard from James today - before Thanksgiving - we talked EVERY day. After Thanksgiving - nearly zippo. I'll have to hunt him down.
Plus, he's my exercise buddy - and I need to get back on the track with him.
Well, it's time to get some sleep.
Wednesday, December 11, 2002
Ding, Dong .. you know the rest
All night, I've felt like popping in "The Wizard of Oz." I felt like one of the Munchkins.
I got home from my appointment at 9:00, and PJ was packed (using two of my kitchen trash bags. How high class is THAT) and I popped him in the Riv for the 25 mile ride to his mother's house. I was gracious - I didn't tell him that his new job was basically a scam, and that he was going to hate it. I also slowed down enough that he could get out of the car without tripping or dropping anything.) The whole ride home, I was grinning.
What was I thinking?
So, since Thursday, I have ejected PJ, Matthew, Jason (remember? The one "stuck" in Kansas City) and .. who else? The boi count is SERIOUSLY down here at the Casita de Divo for Wayward and Homeless bois.
Yes, it's a whacky, worthless clearance sale on bois!
Well - staying in for the weekend, which means that I get to watch "Nemesis" with my friend Mikey - the guy who fixed my computer last weekend. I also get to avoid seeing Al Aparicio, and Pablo the male dancer - more on that soon.
All night, I've felt like popping in "The Wizard of Oz." I felt like one of the Munchkins.
I got home from my appointment at 9:00, and PJ was packed (using two of my kitchen trash bags. How high class is THAT) and I popped him in the Riv for the 25 mile ride to his mother's house. I was gracious - I didn't tell him that his new job was basically a scam, and that he was going to hate it. I also slowed down enough that he could get out of the car without tripping or dropping anything.) The whole ride home, I was grinning.
What was I thinking?
So, since Thursday, I have ejected PJ, Matthew, Jason (remember? The one "stuck" in Kansas City) and .. who else? The boi count is SERIOUSLY down here at the Casita de Divo for Wayward and Homeless bois.
Yes, it's a whacky, worthless clearance sale on bois!
Well - staying in for the weekend, which means that I get to watch "Nemesis" with my friend Mikey - the guy who fixed my computer last weekend. I also get to avoid seeing Al Aparicio, and Pablo the male dancer - more on that soon.
Tuesday, December 10, 2002
And out of the closet they run -
About a year ago, I ran into this great guy online - Mike - GREAT guy. Funny. Smart. I don't even remember how I came to be talking to him. But, we spent WEEKS talking. He made me laugh over and over again. One of the things he told me from the start that was he WASN'T gay, and wasn't interested, he was always being confused for being gay. Of course, he "didn't have problems with gay people."
"My sister had a cousin went to school with someone who's gay." Kiss Me Guido, 1998.
After a while of talking to him, he told me that he had been wondering about gay sex. A few days later, he said that he felt really comfortable with me, and would I please "introduce" him to the thing.
Well, this guy is damned handsome .. what can I say?
After a few times together, he told me that he had found a girlfriend, was no longer going to be able to talk to me, as it was too distracting, and that he found the whole idea of a male relationship repulsive.
Okay, well .. Godspeed then, right?
Over the last 18 months, I've heard from him from time to time. A few months ago, he got laid off (along with most of the IT people in Southeast Texas) and shortly thereafter, his girlfriend .. had a meltdown? Showed her true personality? Dumped him.
This, the woman that he said he was going to marry.
Over these last few months, I would wake up in the morning and find a very early morning, overnight "I wish you were up and online" message from him.
These messages were more lascivious than my portrayal, but I'm trying to be discrete.
The last of these messages was just a few weeks ago.
So, today, I'm working away (sort of) and he sends me a message. Yes, he's horny, BUT - now he needs a place to live.
Can you see me shaking my head?
About a year ago, I ran into this great guy online - Mike - GREAT guy. Funny. Smart. I don't even remember how I came to be talking to him. But, we spent WEEKS talking. He made me laugh over and over again. One of the things he told me from the start that was he WASN'T gay, and wasn't interested, he was always being confused for being gay. Of course, he "didn't have problems with gay people."
"My sister had a cousin went to school with someone who's gay." Kiss Me Guido, 1998.
After a while of talking to him, he told me that he had been wondering about gay sex. A few days later, he said that he felt really comfortable with me, and would I please "introduce" him to the thing.
Well, this guy is damned handsome .. what can I say?
After a few times together, he told me that he had found a girlfriend, was no longer going to be able to talk to me, as it was too distracting, and that he found the whole idea of a male relationship repulsive.
Okay, well .. Godspeed then, right?
Over the last 18 months, I've heard from him from time to time. A few months ago, he got laid off (along with most of the IT people in Southeast Texas) and shortly thereafter, his girlfriend .. had a meltdown? Showed her true personality? Dumped him.
This, the woman that he said he was going to marry.
Over these last few months, I would wake up in the morning and find a very early morning, overnight "I wish you were up and online" message from him.
These messages were more lascivious than my portrayal, but I'm trying to be discrete.
The last of these messages was just a few weeks ago.
So, today, I'm working away (sort of) and he sends me a message. Yes, he's horny, BUT - now he needs a place to live.
Can you see me shaking my head?
Talking to PJ - he's the "temporary house guest" at the Casita de Divo.
He just asked me why I wasn't buying him cigarettes and beer.
Here's our conversation -
east75644: whats a guy gotta do to get some brew and smokes
DrDivo: you mean
DrDivo: out of me?
east75644: besides get a job
east75644: because im already tryin to get a job
east75644: ?
DrDivo: So, you're saying, room, board, pick-up service, laundry facilites, smoke AND booze?
east75644: oh god the debt is piling up
DrDivo: how did I get to be so priviliged
east75644: ok room and board is anulled because im fun to be around, pick up service is anulled because you want to be around me laundry facilities are anulled because you dont want me to stink up your place and the smokes keep me from going crazy and the booze makes it all worth while
east75644: whew
DrDivo: uh-huh
DrDivo: I think that needs to be bogged
east75644: bogged?
DrDivo: yeah
east75644: whats 'at meen
DrDivo: for me to know and you to figure out
He just asked me why I wasn't buying him cigarettes and beer.
Here's our conversation -
east75644: whats a guy gotta do to get some brew and smokes
DrDivo: you mean
DrDivo: out of me?
east75644: besides get a job
east75644: because im already tryin to get a job
east75644: ?
DrDivo: So, you're saying, room, board, pick-up service, laundry facilites, smoke AND booze?
east75644: oh god the debt is piling up
DrDivo: how did I get to be so priviliged
east75644: ok room and board is anulled because im fun to be around, pick up service is anulled because you want to be around me laundry facilities are anulled because you dont want me to stink up your place and the smokes keep me from going crazy and the booze makes it all worth while
east75644: whew
DrDivo: uh-huh
DrDivo: I think that needs to be bogged
east75644: bogged?
DrDivo: yeah
east75644: whats 'at meen
DrDivo: for me to know and you to figure out
Eddie.
Today, I brought my little black book (of poetry) and put in the poem about Eddie. That's the one that starts off "Delta - Houston Hobby Airport"
Eddie and I had quite the email relationship back in 1998. When it came time for me to bring him down here, I choked. Well, for one thing, it would have cost me more money than I was comfortable with - and I just didn't trust.
Ah, well. Trust.
I haven't had Eddie's picture around for a long time. A few months ago, after Johnny died, I pulled out the diskette that had all of Eddie's emails on it, and re-read them.
Eddie - who then was about 23 - said he worked for the Toronto Raptors (that's the basketball team, right?) as a trainer. And then, there was that picture. Oh, my.
This lad - who has the same picture - claims to be 23. Has space and time abated? He also claims to be "straight." I guess one should make some allowances.
And maybe my trust wasn't so misplaced after all.
face-pic.com profile for visually_addictive
Today, I brought my little black book (of poetry) and put in the poem about Eddie. That's the one that starts off "Delta - Houston Hobby Airport"
Eddie and I had quite the email relationship back in 1998. When it came time for me to bring him down here, I choked. Well, for one thing, it would have cost me more money than I was comfortable with - and I just didn't trust.
Ah, well. Trust.
I haven't had Eddie's picture around for a long time. A few months ago, after Johnny died, I pulled out the diskette that had all of Eddie's emails on it, and re-read them.
Eddie - who then was about 23 - said he worked for the Toronto Raptors (that's the basketball team, right?) as a trainer. And then, there was that picture. Oh, my.
This lad - who has the same picture - claims to be 23. Has space and time abated? He also claims to be "straight." I guess one should make some allowances.
And maybe my trust wasn't so misplaced after all.
face-pic.com profile for visually_addictive
I have often questioned falling in love
I have derided it
I have intellectualized it
I have rejected it
I have rationalized it
For every time I have given my heart
to a beautiful young man
with a dazzling smile
and a sparkling personality
With whom I have shared moments
So Intimate
So loving
So delicious
Each time I have lost my heart -
He wasn't ready
He was unsure I was the one
He was not on the other side of my love
And I have ached
with longing
and with disappointment
I have been sure it would
have worked
If only I had been enough.
More.
If have often questioned falling in love.
Yet
I always do
For God has an endless supply
of beautiful young men.
August 18, 1998
I have derided it
I have intellectualized it
I have rejected it
I have rationalized it
For every time I have given my heart
to a beautiful young man
with a dazzling smile
and a sparkling personality
With whom I have shared moments
So Intimate
So loving
So delicious
Each time I have lost my heart -
He wasn't ready
He was unsure I was the one
He was not on the other side of my love
And I have ached
with longing
and with disappointment
I have been sure it would
have worked
If only I had been enough.
More.
If have often questioned falling in love.
Yet
I always do
For God has an endless supply
of beautiful young men.
August 18, 1998
Expectations
Expectations are a way of living
In a future reality
When one ceases to live in the
Present
One is always open to
Disappointment
Discouragement
Disassociation
After spending time in
Expectations
One ceases to try to succeed
in Reality
Because the state of disappointment
becomes Reality
Expectations
Are a double edged sword
Expectations embody both
the best of what we dream
and the worst of what we fear
All at the same time
September 23, 1998
Expectations are a way of living
In a future reality
When one ceases to live in the
Present
One is always open to
Disappointment
Discouragement
Disassociation
After spending time in
Expectations
One ceases to try to succeed
in Reality
Because the state of disappointment
becomes Reality
Expectations
Are a double edged sword
Expectations embody both
the best of what we dream
and the worst of what we fear
All at the same time
September 23, 1998
Lineman -
I am a lineman.
My life is defined by lines. Limited by lines. Operated inside of lines.
I was trained that one could not ride this ride if one was not taller than the line.
If you don't measure up to the line, you cannot even board the ride.
Some of my lines are imposed upon me. Some I have painted myself.
Some lines are comfortable. Some lines are infuriating. Some lines are unfair.
Some lines have no explanation. Some lines belong to other people, but affect me anyway.
My line collection includes:
The college educated line
The over 40 line
The out of shape line
The lawyer line.
Many of my lines are my own private lines. My lines are set by me, measured by me and operated by me without input from other people.
Over the last months, I have moved back and forth across some lines. Some lines have been moved without me being told. Some lines that I thought I had painted over are still there. Line movement is unfair, as it requires you to be remeasured; especially when you have finally been able to ride the ride.
God has no lines.
Sometimes, I feel that I can move around without the lines.
I do know that I need better paint to paint out the lines that I no longer want to stand behind.
November, 2002
I am a lineman.
My life is defined by lines. Limited by lines. Operated inside of lines.
I was trained that one could not ride this ride if one was not taller than the line.
If you don't measure up to the line, you cannot even board the ride.
Some of my lines are imposed upon me. Some I have painted myself.
Some lines are comfortable. Some lines are infuriating. Some lines are unfair.
Some lines have no explanation. Some lines belong to other people, but affect me anyway.
My line collection includes:
The college educated line
The over 40 line
The out of shape line
The lawyer line.
Many of my lines are my own private lines. My lines are set by me, measured by me and operated by me without input from other people.
Over the last months, I have moved back and forth across some lines. Some lines have been moved without me being told. Some lines that I thought I had painted over are still there. Line movement is unfair, as it requires you to be remeasured; especially when you have finally been able to ride the ride.
God has no lines.
Sometimes, I feel that I can move around without the lines.
I do know that I need better paint to paint out the lines that I no longer want to stand behind.
November, 2002
Bumper Cars - May, 2001
Having a new boyfriend
is a lot like bumper cars
Both are shiny and fun looking
You spend a lot of time
struggling for position
Both are so attracted that they
nuzzle up and keep coming back
to each other
Every so often, they bump too hard
And run away from each other
To win the game, they have to learn
each other's movements
They have to learn to keep their sides together at all times
They have to coordinate their motions and work together
To bump all the other players away
Most players at bumper cars
Give up after only one try.
Having a new boyfriend
is a lot like bumper cars
Both are shiny and fun looking
You spend a lot of time
struggling for position
Both are so attracted that they
nuzzle up and keep coming back
to each other
Every so often, they bump too hard
And run away from each other
To win the game, they have to learn
each other's movements
They have to learn to keep their sides together at all times
They have to coordinate their motions and work together
To bump all the other players away
Most players at bumper cars
Give up after only one try.
My friend James was this morning writing me that he had a chance to take a free class on poetry writing; he was confronted by it .. I realized that I had never shown him any of the poetry that I have written. So, I thought I'd just post/paste some of it here.
I have two on my hard drive; the others I'll have to transcribe later today.
I have two on my hard drive; the others I'll have to transcribe later today.
Ah, another morning - rich, dark, steamy coffee and reading the news (what they tell us of it anyway) while thinking about the day ahead.
Today, it's all about credit reports. I have clients for whom I have promised improvement in their credit, and today I hav to pull out the magic wand and wave it over their respective credit histories. It's not hard work, it's just close detail work - looking for clear inaccuracies and inconsistencies, and getting things phrased in such a way that a credit bureau clerk will find them compelling.
Mixed reviews on my opening blog salvos - my friend James (who's an inveterate on-line journalist) LOVED it, and wants to be my blog fan. Whoo hoo! My first regular reader. My very dear friend Larry was a bit overwhelmed by it all. I think he was still rattled by the nudie pictures of crowds at a German clothing store that I sent to him yesterday -
Off to work I go (after a suitable make-ready period) to accomplish more financial miracles.
Today, it's all about credit reports. I have clients for whom I have promised improvement in their credit, and today I hav to pull out the magic wand and wave it over their respective credit histories. It's not hard work, it's just close detail work - looking for clear inaccuracies and inconsistencies, and getting things phrased in such a way that a credit bureau clerk will find them compelling.
Mixed reviews on my opening blog salvos - my friend James (who's an inveterate on-line journalist) LOVED it, and wants to be my blog fan. Whoo hoo! My first regular reader. My very dear friend Larry was a bit overwhelmed by it all. I think he was still rattled by the nudie pictures of crowds at a German clothing store that I sent to him yesterday -
Off to work I go (after a suitable make-ready period) to accomplish more financial miracles.
Monday, December 09, 2002
Why is it that we're all that and a plate of cheese to someone who holds no interest for us, and yet, we can never find someone to be interested in who feels like the heavens have wept, the clouds have parted and the angels sung that we are interested in them?
Today, I had two emails - one from a very nice and successful man in Italy who told me I was his dream man. Uh - the LAST time someone told me that, he turned out to be a crackhead who loved old, fat men who were married and had enough money to keep him in baggies and cocktails without his actually having to work. And that was shortly after Clinton's re-election.
Another from a fine gentleman in the UK - who was just wanting to send a friendly note.
Mind you, neither of these boys would have garnered my interest except as a conversational partner over a few cocktails while remaining fully dressed and at arms' length.
Why is it that my heart beats pitta-pat for a married guy who's totally non-potential? Or does it? Actually, after my boyfriend up and died on me back on August 11 (Hmm .. I need to write his mother, I haven't heard from her in weeks) I was questioning whether I had felt anything for him at all. He didn't make my heart race, but he sure was wonderful to be with. I miss him. I was missing him earlier today. He was a companion; someone who had found the person he could safely be with, who he could be open with, and with whom he could start making some plans for a new life.
And then - ka-whammo. He's gone, replaced by the detritus of eleven EMT technicians, two doctors and a fire department captain in my living room, as they rolled him out with the bedsheet from my bed.
I still haven't replaced that (note to self.)
Yes, he was handsome, and he was flirtatious, and funny, and wonderful to be with. I slept so soundly when he was here - just like the dead. I never heard him when he got up in the middle of the night, unable to sleep, chatting on the internet until near dawn. He was an amazing chef, and could be so fussy, and so particular about everything from bruschetta to reduced wine sauce for ice cream.
I gained twenty pounds while I was with him.
It's almost gone. All that's left of him is his cowboy hat, this little tschotke that he gave me the week before he died, and a picture of him in a frame. And eight more pounds.
I put out the Christmas ornaments over the weekend. I hadn't decorated for Christmas in years; always writing it off to a lack of space, or a lack of time, or a lack of anyone to care. It was probably a matter of having the family drama come to a complete and final end about the time that I moved into this apartment in 1998. This was to be the first Christmas that I (we) was going to go all out; buy a tree, put up lights outside, play Christmas music .. the works. Johnny (that's the boyfriend) loved Christmas, he said, and he was talking about what all we were going to do to make our first Christmas together special.
I didnt even get a first Labor Day weekend, let alone a Christmas.
But, I digress.
Is this why I'm fascinated with bois who want money, boys who have girlfriends and wives, and perfect men who live in another time zone, in another climate, in another country?
The political climate here (in the US) is getting very scary. The replublican leadership is talking openly and wistfully of segregation, and the mainstream press (and the Democrats, who deserve to die a political death for being inept, incompetant and unable to focus on anything but bringing in enough money to be re-elected) says NOTHING. N-O-T-H-I-N-G. Here in Texas, the state sodomy law (which applies only to same sex match-ups; opposite sex wrestling matches being apparently sanctioned by the church and the lege) is clearly going to be overturned by the Supremes sitting on high in DC. The Governor has said publicly and on the record that the sodomy prohibitions criminalizing same-sex behavior was "appropriate."
To quote the Texas Tourism Bureau, "Texas - It's like a whole 'nother country."
Try "Nigeria" We have oil, we spend little or no money on public infrastructure, and the churches and political leaders build piles of stones with which to smite anyone who colors outside the lines.
Okay, now I have myself worked down into a state where I should just go to bed. I'm sure they can't arrest me for that. Yet.
Has anyone else noticed a disturbing similarity between events in the US over the last two years and the events in Germany between 1933 and 1935? The establishment of a new, unified internal security structure? The establishment of a new "military" legal system in which even US citizens who are declared to be "combatants" (so far) can be prosecuted without having counsel, a jury, or open proceedings? The establishment of holding camps for undesireables who are not charged with any specific offense?
Today, I had two emails - one from a very nice and successful man in Italy who told me I was his dream man. Uh - the LAST time someone told me that, he turned out to be a crackhead who loved old, fat men who were married and had enough money to keep him in baggies and cocktails without his actually having to work. And that was shortly after Clinton's re-election.
Another from a fine gentleman in the UK - who was just wanting to send a friendly note.
Mind you, neither of these boys would have garnered my interest except as a conversational partner over a few cocktails while remaining fully dressed and at arms' length.
Why is it that my heart beats pitta-pat for a married guy who's totally non-potential? Or does it? Actually, after my boyfriend up and died on me back on August 11 (Hmm .. I need to write his mother, I haven't heard from her in weeks) I was questioning whether I had felt anything for him at all. He didn't make my heart race, but he sure was wonderful to be with. I miss him. I was missing him earlier today. He was a companion; someone who had found the person he could safely be with, who he could be open with, and with whom he could start making some plans for a new life.
And then - ka-whammo. He's gone, replaced by the detritus of eleven EMT technicians, two doctors and a fire department captain in my living room, as they rolled him out with the bedsheet from my bed.
I still haven't replaced that (note to self.)
Yes, he was handsome, and he was flirtatious, and funny, and wonderful to be with. I slept so soundly when he was here - just like the dead. I never heard him when he got up in the middle of the night, unable to sleep, chatting on the internet until near dawn. He was an amazing chef, and could be so fussy, and so particular about everything from bruschetta to reduced wine sauce for ice cream.
I gained twenty pounds while I was with him.
It's almost gone. All that's left of him is his cowboy hat, this little tschotke that he gave me the week before he died, and a picture of him in a frame. And eight more pounds.
I put out the Christmas ornaments over the weekend. I hadn't decorated for Christmas in years; always writing it off to a lack of space, or a lack of time, or a lack of anyone to care. It was probably a matter of having the family drama come to a complete and final end about the time that I moved into this apartment in 1998. This was to be the first Christmas that I (we) was going to go all out; buy a tree, put up lights outside, play Christmas music .. the works. Johnny (that's the boyfriend) loved Christmas, he said, and he was talking about what all we were going to do to make our first Christmas together special.
I didnt even get a first Labor Day weekend, let alone a Christmas.
But, I digress.
Is this why I'm fascinated with bois who want money, boys who have girlfriends and wives, and perfect men who live in another time zone, in another climate, in another country?
The political climate here (in the US) is getting very scary. The replublican leadership is talking openly and wistfully of segregation, and the mainstream press (and the Democrats, who deserve to die a political death for being inept, incompetant and unable to focus on anything but bringing in enough money to be re-elected) says NOTHING. N-O-T-H-I-N-G. Here in Texas, the state sodomy law (which applies only to same sex match-ups; opposite sex wrestling matches being apparently sanctioned by the church and the lege) is clearly going to be overturned by the Supremes sitting on high in DC. The Governor has said publicly and on the record that the sodomy prohibitions criminalizing same-sex behavior was "appropriate."
To quote the Texas Tourism Bureau, "Texas - It's like a whole 'nother country."
Try "Nigeria" We have oil, we spend little or no money on public infrastructure, and the churches and political leaders build piles of stones with which to smite anyone who colors outside the lines.
Okay, now I have myself worked down into a state where I should just go to bed. I'm sure they can't arrest me for that. Yet.
Has anyone else noticed a disturbing similarity between events in the US over the last two years and the events in Germany between 1933 and 1935? The establishment of a new, unified internal security structure? The establishment of a new "military" legal system in which even US citizens who are declared to be "combatants" (so far) can be prosecuted without having counsel, a jury, or open proceedings? The establishment of holding camps for undesireables who are not charged with any specific offense?
Ah, blog beginnings.
Men, chocolate and coffee. These things are best when rich.
It's cold tonight in Houston, Harris County, By God, Texas. (a plug for the local tourism bureau - "you're gonna love this city") I'm not used to near freezing temperatures, even if I still have some winter garments that keep me warm. Made spaghetti tonight (it's easy and you can look like a miracle worker) and about to walk the mutts.
This is the time of year when NO ONE WORKS. In my business, nearly everyone is on straight comission, which means, of course, if you don't produce, you don't eat. However, every year, the elements necessarily to obtain a closing get slower and slower from mid-November onward until about December 10 - everything comes to a dead stop. By January 15, everyone will be whining that things are so slow and that income is cut back, but if they'd just work December like it was any other month, we wouldn't all suffer through this.
But, I digress.
Boi news for today, December 9, 2002 - my sweet friend in Frankfurt is going to be in the Caribbean in mid-January, and asked me to meet him there. What a lovely idea! However, I can't decide which is worse - the fact that the best airfare there is over $700, or the fact that I can't earn OnePass miles doing it.
I step aside from news of bois for a moment to do some serious whining. Last year (2001) I attained Platinum Elite OnePass - which is sort of like the booby prize for flying a whole lot. It doesn't get you much; just near guaranteed first class upgrades, and early boarding. I've been Elite OnePass since 1998; but last year - Platinum - the Holy Grail of traveling. This year (2002) I haven't been on a Continental flight all damned year - so, come midnight December 31st, I convert to a sheep. A cow. A regular passenger with no priviliges and no fancy card to wave or to swipe through the automated check-in machine.
Again with the nested forks.
So, to go meet my wonderful, handsome, charming friend in the Caribbean? Or do I do something more reasonable, like pay off my credit cards, or work on paying off my car?
Boi #2 for the day is my ongoing rehabilitation project PJ. Just before Thanksgiving, he was living with his grandmother up in East Texas, and I helped him out with some money, a bus ticket home, and so on. I had thought that his recent experiences has humbled his party attitude enough that he could be trustworthy. However, the Sunday beforeThanksgiving, I was trolling for a dog sitter ( he had promised to stay at my place and watch the dogs ) at 8:00 at night, as he hadn't called, hadn't contacted me, nothing.
So, two weeks have gone by with me hurling epithets his way whenever he contacted me (which happened as I was sitting on an airplane at the St. Louis airport) Yesterday, he called over and over and over - seems his mother's boyfriend had thrown him out of the house, and he was standing at a pay phone at a Kroger store. After an hour of yelling, recriminations and blistering commentary (all on my part) I relented and picked him up.
So, he's been here since yesterday. He's been very subdued. I'm not sure how long this will last, but it is here for the time being.
Boi #3 today is Jason, who's a traveling "bisexual" "masseur" I've been talking to him on the phone about a week now, and he's just disarmingly charming. Yesterday, he was driving his girlfriend to Nebraska, to deposit her with her mother, and head back here to Bagdad on the Bayou to make some cash. I have offered to (after meeting him and determining whether he was on the up and up or not) to let him stay at the casita de divo for wayward boys a day or so, and today was the highly predictable cash call from Kansas City. He only wanted $80 of so, and promised to pay me back as soon as he returned to Houston.
Of course, there was the highly predictable hint of car trouble, which could delay his return. Why do I even take these phone calls?
Started talking over the weekend to Bart in Portland, who's a smart, pleasant, handsome man - and Calvin in British Columbia, who's a self-described lesbian. Damn, I can understand why he calls himself that - he's so witty, such a good conversationalist, so damned handsome that I have nearly checked out the pricing on a U-haul to north of Vancouver without yet having met him. He's flirtatious as he could be, which just SENDS me. It's not fair.
Only ten more hours before I can brew up some incredible coffee and sit here before the computer thinking about my day. Almost reason enough to go to bed.
Talked to my favorite married guy today - David - he's so sweet, so fun and so handsome - why the heck is he married? It's just not fair. At least we have this great business day friendship that keeps me on my mettle from 9 to 5:30. And, I called the guy I met last Sunday a week - Curtis - he is so butch and manly - plays so hard to get, but tonight he asked me if I could set him up with a number of guys who would meet he and I over at my place to do him.
What is this with these bisexual and "straight" men that they want to be the center of attention for a bunch of stiff meat? It's like they go from first experience to wanting to be tied to the bed in six days - in the first instance, there is NO prize category for my level of achievement (my level is now "Family Value threat") and is it unreasonable to expect a guy like me to be able to make a successful home business of satisfying these "straight" guys' sexual fantasies? Hell, I just watched a program last night on HBO that showed these blond bimbos making $500 to $1000 an hour for doing less! All I need is a steady stream of topmen who are certified clean and sober. Maybe it's something to look into for the new year.
I already am set up to take Visa and MasterCard.
Men, chocolate and coffee. These things are best when rich.
It's cold tonight in Houston, Harris County, By God, Texas. (a plug for the local tourism bureau - "you're gonna love this city") I'm not used to near freezing temperatures, even if I still have some winter garments that keep me warm. Made spaghetti tonight (it's easy and you can look like a miracle worker) and about to walk the mutts.
This is the time of year when NO ONE WORKS. In my business, nearly everyone is on straight comission, which means, of course, if you don't produce, you don't eat. However, every year, the elements necessarily to obtain a closing get slower and slower from mid-November onward until about December 10 - everything comes to a dead stop. By January 15, everyone will be whining that things are so slow and that income is cut back, but if they'd just work December like it was any other month, we wouldn't all suffer through this.
But, I digress.
Boi news for today, December 9, 2002 - my sweet friend in Frankfurt is going to be in the Caribbean in mid-January, and asked me to meet him there. What a lovely idea! However, I can't decide which is worse - the fact that the best airfare there is over $700, or the fact that I can't earn OnePass miles doing it.
I step aside from news of bois for a moment to do some serious whining. Last year (2001) I attained Platinum Elite OnePass - which is sort of like the booby prize for flying a whole lot. It doesn't get you much; just near guaranteed first class upgrades, and early boarding. I've been Elite OnePass since 1998; but last year - Platinum - the Holy Grail of traveling. This year (2002) I haven't been on a Continental flight all damned year - so, come midnight December 31st, I convert to a sheep. A cow. A regular passenger with no priviliges and no fancy card to wave or to swipe through the automated check-in machine.
Again with the nested forks.
So, to go meet my wonderful, handsome, charming friend in the Caribbean? Or do I do something more reasonable, like pay off my credit cards, or work on paying off my car?
Boi #2 for the day is my ongoing rehabilitation project PJ. Just before Thanksgiving, he was living with his grandmother up in East Texas, and I helped him out with some money, a bus ticket home, and so on. I had thought that his recent experiences has humbled his party attitude enough that he could be trustworthy. However, the Sunday beforeThanksgiving, I was trolling for a dog sitter ( he had promised to stay at my place and watch the dogs ) at 8:00 at night, as he hadn't called, hadn't contacted me, nothing.
So, two weeks have gone by with me hurling epithets his way whenever he contacted me (which happened as I was sitting on an airplane at the St. Louis airport) Yesterday, he called over and over and over - seems his mother's boyfriend had thrown him out of the house, and he was standing at a pay phone at a Kroger store. After an hour of yelling, recriminations and blistering commentary (all on my part) I relented and picked him up.
So, he's been here since yesterday. He's been very subdued. I'm not sure how long this will last, but it is here for the time being.
Boi #3 today is Jason, who's a traveling "bisexual" "masseur" I've been talking to him on the phone about a week now, and he's just disarmingly charming. Yesterday, he was driving his girlfriend to Nebraska, to deposit her with her mother, and head back here to Bagdad on the Bayou to make some cash. I have offered to (after meeting him and determining whether he was on the up and up or not) to let him stay at the casita de divo for wayward boys a day or so, and today was the highly predictable cash call from Kansas City. He only wanted $80 of so, and promised to pay me back as soon as he returned to Houston.
Of course, there was the highly predictable hint of car trouble, which could delay his return. Why do I even take these phone calls?
Started talking over the weekend to Bart in Portland, who's a smart, pleasant, handsome man - and Calvin in British Columbia, who's a self-described lesbian. Damn, I can understand why he calls himself that - he's so witty, such a good conversationalist, so damned handsome that I have nearly checked out the pricing on a U-haul to north of Vancouver without yet having met him. He's flirtatious as he could be, which just SENDS me. It's not fair.
Only ten more hours before I can brew up some incredible coffee and sit here before the computer thinking about my day. Almost reason enough to go to bed.
Talked to my favorite married guy today - David - he's so sweet, so fun and so handsome - why the heck is he married? It's just not fair. At least we have this great business day friendship that keeps me on my mettle from 9 to 5:30. And, I called the guy I met last Sunday a week - Curtis - he is so butch and manly - plays so hard to get, but tonight he asked me if I could set him up with a number of guys who would meet he and I over at my place to do him.
What is this with these bisexual and "straight" men that they want to be the center of attention for a bunch of stiff meat? It's like they go from first experience to wanting to be tied to the bed in six days - in the first instance, there is NO prize category for my level of achievement (my level is now "Family Value threat") and is it unreasonable to expect a guy like me to be able to make a successful home business of satisfying these "straight" guys' sexual fantasies? Hell, I just watched a program last night on HBO that showed these blond bimbos making $500 to $1000 an hour for doing less! All I need is a steady stream of topmen who are certified clean and sober. Maybe it's something to look into for the new year.
I already am set up to take Visa and MasterCard.
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