By Bill in Portland Maine
on Cheers and Jeers
From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Late Night Snark...with 100% Humidity
"President Bush is now in Japan for the big G-8 summit, which is going on right now. The G-8 Summit is where the world's top economies get together. The bad news: we are no longer one of them. I wouldn't say the U.S. economy is doing bad, but you know how Bush got to Japan? Southwest."
---Jay Leno
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"On Fox News, Jesse Jackson was caught saying he wants to cut Barack Obama’s nuts off. This marks the nicest thing ever said about Barack Obama on Fox News."
---Conan O'Brien
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"In a 5-4 vote, the Supreme Court overturned Washington, DC's ban on handguns! Finally, the residents of Washington, DC have the right to defend themselves---from each other, one assumes. Writing for the majority, Justice Antonin Scalia said, 'It is not the role of this court to pronounce the Second Amendment extinct.' He is right. Killing the Constitution is the president's job. The court's job is to overturn elections."
---Stephen Colbert
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"Well, you know, Barack Obama, he's started a fashion craze in Italy. Italian designers have taken his look, and they're turning it into fashion. It's an amazing thing. But don't sell John McCain short. He's also influencing fashion. He has popularized the 'something on your chin' look."
---David Letterman
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And the headline of the week: Bush addresses the Italian prime minister in Spanish: "Amigo! Amigo!"
Hey, America! When you're thinking about which candidate to vote for in November, remember: Republicans invented the punch clock, Democrats invented the weekend. Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
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