This is just so delightful

Rubla Rhan
by Hunter
Wed Dec 05, 2007 at 08:51:26 PM PST

In grand New York, under Pale Male's wing
Where the subways hum, and taxis sing
There lived a man who liked his bling
And who would screw most anything.

With his wife he became bored
but yet his bald libido roared
So to the Hamptons he would soar
And charged his sex romps to the poor.

"Why not?" he cried, "I deserve to roam,
And smell the ocean's salty foam.
These funds may help the homeless, true,
But does not my d*ck need shelter too?"

Mere protocol would not deter,
the funds were easily transferred;
his mistress preened, her family purred,
and the city worked as their chauffeurs.


Courageously, he seized that day
(And other things along the way)
And his wife thought him a jerk
(And still the radios did not work.)

Still he was not happy, though:
He sought a quicker place to go,
A private place for a quick perk
Within walking distance from his work.

So a stately Terror Dome he built
On ground where previous blood was spilt
With a private room in which to snog
(And police to walk his girlfriend's dog.)

But one day thunder shook the ground;
The buildings fell, the skies profound
In tragedy, and yet in death unbound
Our Adonis soon would be renowned...


Our hero, grim, undaunted! Look!
See him rise through ash and soot!
As the city lifted voice in prayer
Rubla Rhan was quickly there.

Our hero knew, in smoke and din
That what was needed most was him
Look at him walk! He stood quite firm --
And tried to stay on past his term.

Yes, through tragedy and sordid spree
Our Romeo will always be
The inverse of a Kennedy
Who asks: What can my city do for me?

Still, there is just one more dream,
yet one more path, a greater gleam,
A place beyond the city lights
Where power peaks at lofty heights.

A place past agencies coerced,
Beyond cops and dogs and humps perverse,
And power over the city's purse
And radios, and bombs, and worse.


And so he dreams of his ascent
And thinks to himself alone, when spent,
How many more there are, content,
that I could screw as President!