So funny to be the one with the inside joke, and not able to say anything at all about it. The innuendo and synchroncity is sometimes exquisitely painful.

I've just found a bunch more Marvin the Martian stuff on eBay. Really fun stuff.

I'm sorry in a lot of ways to be leaving this house. I'm also not sorry; it's in need of so much attention, and there is so much about it that I don't yet know. It's expensive to keep up, and it's expensive to keep warm or cool. I'm excited about the new house in some ways, but mostly because of the stability that it will represent. I have some ideas to upgrade and improve it, but those aren't anything that must be done. I'm going to clip out a bunch of these climbing ivy plants and have them growing up the brick walls in the patio. I'm thinking that the patio can be neatly made into a lush green garden spot. I had thought about a hot tub, but I'm thinking instead of a fountain. Obviously, the coy pond won't be going in there, as I'd have to build up a pile of dirt to sink it into, and it would occupy a lot of space. The hot tub would occupy even more.

So, it's going to be a tranquil, green garden space, with seating, and green climbing the walls, hanging in baskets, and peppered with the color of flowers. I think that the hibiscus and the rubber trees will do great out there, as will all of the hanging baskets.

This buildup to breakthrough is frustrating. I feel like I should be able to process through this much more easily than I'm doing. I'm clear about the behavior patterns that are the outward manifestations of the beliefs. I'm clear about the ways that those patterns hold me back. I'm clear that this way is not how I want to continue on. I just can't get clear on it.

Perhaps the Psych-K seminar will solve some of these issues. If I like it, I'm going to get trained as a Psych-K instructor.

My next thing is to create my budget goals, and then reverse engineer the milestones to reach them.

It's clouding over. I wonder if that's related to my desire to have a big old nap.