I came straight home after church, feeling dizzy and weird again. Now, I have to run over to the Food town and refill my water jugs, then come home and do some house cleaning. I stopped at the Clear Lake HEB on the way home from church; they have the BEST bulk foods aisle outside of Whole Paycheck on Kirby. Got a bunch of brown rice and raisins, forgot to get oatmeal.
Ben, Roberto, Chuck and George are coming over tonight to watch "The Sopranos." Very good stuff.
I keep trying to focus my thoughts on providing safe and comfortable housing for people. That's what I do. That's who I am. Keeeeep focusing. Focus, focus, focus. Refrain from focusing on other stuff, except that I also help people expand and improve their small businesses. People who also have houses. Houses, businesses - I help people feel safe and comfortable and successful. Yep, that's what I do. Who I am. Focus, focus, focus.
I wish I felt like cleaning up the car, and the garage. My head is just all wobbly and full of goo.
The little weather widget says we're going to be windy today, and it seems to be correct. I need to go out back and do some plant watering, too it seems.
Spent some time today in church beating on the subject of money. "Money's not the problem, money's not the solution, money's not what you really want." Who was I trying to convince? I did a damned fine job of it in any event. Amazing how I can listen to what someone asks or comments, apply science of mind philosophy to it, give a cohesive, coherent answer AND process on it in my own mind for my own mental shenanigans.
I've been thinking about my diabetes, and looking at people around me who are wrestling with it. Makes me want to do better. I only have about six weeks before my next check in with the doctor, and I feel like I've gone in the wrong direction. Last night, I was looking at the website of a personal trainer who's got his own gym in the Rice Military area, and is pretty cheap - $100/3 hourlong sessions. It would conflict with my "ride the bus and save money" idea. Hm. Must give this some consideration. His website emphasized both food intake AND exercise. Can I successfully exercise with this giant hernia thing? Who knows? I suspect that if I reduced my weight somewhat, the hernia would abate further and it would be a gradual adjustment.
In the book I just finished "Starship Troopers," there is a significant passage in which a classroom teacher is trying to get the class to understand that anything that will be valued has to be EARNED, and cannot be given. I've been reflecting on that quite a bit since I read it. It's always been something that stuck out, since the first time I read the book ten or more years ago, but now it really makes a lot of sense in a broader, philosophical/spiritual way. Specifically, people (including me) frequently want to have some huge change (benefit) that will relieve them of their stress and fear. While that's possible, it's probably not beneficial in the long run. I think that change of major belief structures and experiences is more gradual, when it's effective.
Not that it makes anything easier, but it at least gets one (me, for instance) off my own case that relief isn't fully at hand.
I think it's time to go fill up those water jugs, work on the patio, the stairs, and such. Plus, Jackie needs to go pee again.
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