Just one day earlier, and it could have been Friday the 13th!
Today is my friend Mikey's birthday (observed.) So, he wants me to go out with him tonight, even though I have to get up and be out of the house by 8:00 in the morning to teach. So, he's going to be unhappy with me when I leave at around 10:00 to go home.
Another busy weekend; I have to get caught up on my financial record-keeping, and I have to start taking my bike out and riding it.
My friend Marty Wright is back in wholesale lending; and she is my account rep with Matrix - so, I talked to her today for a while - I just love her - and she is helping me get set up to do FHA lending and VA lending. WHOO HOO!
The whole plan is moving forward.
Not a word from San Jacinto - we were supposed to be getting together to discuss my further participation with them .. and nada.
Tonight may be a Curtis evening, but there are no reliable indicators of what will happen.
I haven't been a productive doo-bee today; I have moved a few things forward, but for the most part, it was spent getting concepts moved forward as distinct from actual work. I guess that's all the same thing - it all has to be done to get things moving. I just have to work on these tax returns, and I'm kind of .. over it? For the moment.
I'm so looking forward to going to see Larry in Dallas next weekend. I didn't get to see him in Dallas ALL of last year. So, this is going to be terrific. I get to write off the whole trip, since I'm going to go amend his tax returns, do his will and work on financing an investment property for him. It's a business trip!
I'm thinking that it's time for me to go on the Sugar Busters diet - I need to get the book and make it part of my living.
Finally had lunch with Karl the realtor - he's a neat guy; I like him. I hope he and I can start doing more business together.
More as the weekend develops!
DJHJD
Friday, March 14, 2003
Tuesday, March 11, 2003
What's wrong with this picture?
So, last night - was the closest to a "date" that Curtis and I have had. We went to the rodeo, had margaritas. When he came over, he got dressed out of the laundry basket that contains all of his clean clothes at my apartment. As per the norm, his girlfriend was demanding his attention over the phone - twice before we made it to the shuttle bus. I could hear her screaming at him as he told her that he had simply forgotten to take his phone with him. She accused him of intentionally leaving the phone behind so that he could avoid her and try to pick up women at the rodeo.
The new stadium is awesome - the tickets that my friend Kimberly gave me were terrific. Still, I sat there wondering WHAT I was doing there with Curtis, who couldn't leave well enough alone, and kept calling his girlfriend for more abuse. He's fun to be with, different from my norm, so it's all interesting. He looked like a working cowboy last night (as distinct from a city cowboy.)
That, and the rodeo is the rodeo - it's just NOT ever anything really different. Jerry Jeff Walker gave an inspired and lively performance, and Clint Black was terrific. Country music, however, just isn't my thing.
Also, I have to say that the loud beating of the drums of war put a damper on my mood. Clint Black performed a jingoistic song about attacking Iraq (free for download from his website! http://www.clintblack.com ) and Curtis was telling me on the way over that he thought the USA needed to attack Iraq to show the world we wouldn't take it [the 9/11/01 attacks on the USA] lying down.
Oh, and there was a three minute multi-media presentation at the beginning of the rodeo "show" hosted by Reliant Energy. It started off innocuously enough - images of the space shuttle with the entirely predictable "Proud to be an American" playing in the background. However, this morphed into images of USA weaponry flying and driving by, and fully half of the presentation was in the glorification of American military power.
Why do I feel so like it's the waning days of peace before the US attacked Spain in 1898? Or, worse, that this was what Germany was like in August, 1939 - right before they invaded Poland?
Anyway, after watching the whole show (we were among the fewer than 1000 people left watching the end of Black's performance) we walked outside to check out the midway (which was HUGE) and so on. Curtis wanted to ride the mechanical bull, but I wanted to go home.
He asked me several times why I wasn't more enthusiastic ...
Uh, it's because I'm at the rodeo with a young man that has no upside potential, and partly on this "date" with his girlfriend by phone, and bombarded with jingoistic sentiment?
However the evening did make me want to get Texans season tickets.
Tonight, Jeffrey and Steven have invited me over to dinner. Very nice. I'm going to try to see if I can help them with some financial advice.
Oh, and after Curtis having her scream at him the entire bus ride home from the rodeo .. he spent the night with me again.
So, last night - was the closest to a "date" that Curtis and I have had. We went to the rodeo, had margaritas. When he came over, he got dressed out of the laundry basket that contains all of his clean clothes at my apartment. As per the norm, his girlfriend was demanding his attention over the phone - twice before we made it to the shuttle bus. I could hear her screaming at him as he told her that he had simply forgotten to take his phone with him. She accused him of intentionally leaving the phone behind so that he could avoid her and try to pick up women at the rodeo.
The new stadium is awesome - the tickets that my friend Kimberly gave me were terrific. Still, I sat there wondering WHAT I was doing there with Curtis, who couldn't leave well enough alone, and kept calling his girlfriend for more abuse. He's fun to be with, different from my norm, so it's all interesting. He looked like a working cowboy last night (as distinct from a city cowboy.)
That, and the rodeo is the rodeo - it's just NOT ever anything really different. Jerry Jeff Walker gave an inspired and lively performance, and Clint Black was terrific. Country music, however, just isn't my thing.
Also, I have to say that the loud beating of the drums of war put a damper on my mood. Clint Black performed a jingoistic song about attacking Iraq (free for download from his website! http://www.clintblack.com ) and Curtis was telling me on the way over that he thought the USA needed to attack Iraq to show the world we wouldn't take it [the 9/11/01 attacks on the USA] lying down.
Oh, and there was a three minute multi-media presentation at the beginning of the rodeo "show" hosted by Reliant Energy. It started off innocuously enough - images of the space shuttle with the entirely predictable "Proud to be an American" playing in the background. However, this morphed into images of USA weaponry flying and driving by, and fully half of the presentation was in the glorification of American military power.
Why do I feel so like it's the waning days of peace before the US attacked Spain in 1898? Or, worse, that this was what Germany was like in August, 1939 - right before they invaded Poland?
Anyway, after watching the whole show (we were among the fewer than 1000 people left watching the end of Black's performance) we walked outside to check out the midway (which was HUGE) and so on. Curtis wanted to ride the mechanical bull, but I wanted to go home.
He asked me several times why I wasn't more enthusiastic ...
Uh, it's because I'm at the rodeo with a young man that has no upside potential, and partly on this "date" with his girlfriend by phone, and bombarded with jingoistic sentiment?
However the evening did make me want to get Texans season tickets.
Tonight, Jeffrey and Steven have invited me over to dinner. Very nice. I'm going to try to see if I can help them with some financial advice.
Oh, and after Curtis having her scream at him the entire bus ride home from the rodeo .. he spent the night with me again.
Monday, March 10, 2003
Truth is stranger than fiction -
What a weekend.
Friday night, was quiet, and got ready to teach on Saturday morning. Saturday was a pillar to post kind of a day; up and out to teach at 8:45, then home, then immediately to lunch with Nicole, then to Richard's to help him with QuickBooks, then home to empty mutts and out to have dinner with Dr. John. Then, Curtis called and asked if I wanted to go bowling with him. In Conroe.
For those who don't know, I live downtown in Houston, and Conroe is .. 40 miles north of me.
So, I trekked to Humble (not on the way to Conroe except that it's north of me) to pick up Curtis, his girlfriend, and her brother - then cut over on 1960 to I-45 north and drove to the bowling alley in Conroe.
At 11:00 at night.
Of course, no one [but me] had any money, so I ended up paying for all four of us.
Curtis' girlfriend threw a fit because she wasn't bowling very well, and the rest of us bowled until about 1:45. As we were packing up, I asked Curtis if he was spending the night at his girlfriend's house.
Turns out, he had in mind to come spend the night with me, leaving his truck at his girlfriend's house, then me driving him back on Sunday.
In the car Saturday night, he was talking about how he and she would be married now if not for somethingorother, and blah, blah, blah. When she put our names into the bowling computer, I noticed that she was already starting to use his last name.
Then, yesterday, he asked me to introduce him to some nice downtown women - I said "I thought you were getting married!"
"No, he says, just because she's pregnant doesn't mean I have to make the mistake bigger by marrying her."
Good lord.
Okay, back to preparing tax returns. More later. Curtis is going to the rodeo with me tonight.
What a weekend.
Friday night, was quiet, and got ready to teach on Saturday morning. Saturday was a pillar to post kind of a day; up and out to teach at 8:45, then home, then immediately to lunch with Nicole, then to Richard's to help him with QuickBooks, then home to empty mutts and out to have dinner with Dr. John. Then, Curtis called and asked if I wanted to go bowling with him. In Conroe.
For those who don't know, I live downtown in Houston, and Conroe is .. 40 miles north of me.
So, I trekked to Humble (not on the way to Conroe except that it's north of me) to pick up Curtis, his girlfriend, and her brother - then cut over on 1960 to I-45 north and drove to the bowling alley in Conroe.
At 11:00 at night.
Of course, no one [but me] had any money, so I ended up paying for all four of us.
Curtis' girlfriend threw a fit because she wasn't bowling very well, and the rest of us bowled until about 1:45. As we were packing up, I asked Curtis if he was spending the night at his girlfriend's house.
Turns out, he had in mind to come spend the night with me, leaving his truck at his girlfriend's house, then me driving him back on Sunday.
In the car Saturday night, he was talking about how he and she would be married now if not for somethingorother, and blah, blah, blah. When she put our names into the bowling computer, I noticed that she was already starting to use his last name.
Then, yesterday, he asked me to introduce him to some nice downtown women - I said "I thought you were getting married!"
"No, he says, just because she's pregnant doesn't mean I have to make the mistake bigger by marrying her."
Good lord.
Okay, back to preparing tax returns. More later. Curtis is going to the rodeo with me tonight.
Wednesday, March 05, 2003
perhaps the third time's the charm
Okay, so this will be the third time I try to post this.
It's another rainy afternoon in Baghdad on the Bayou. My friend Larry calls Houston by that name, and I don't know if it's for the politics or the climate, but I like it.
So, it stays.
Saw Curtis last night. He came over about midnight, which woke me up, and spent the night. Seems he's gotten his 19 year old girlfriend pregnant, and he's very happy about it.
I think it's akin to putting a shotgun to your head and pulling the trigger. But that's just me.
My poem "Bumper Cars" has been selected for publication in a book by poetry.com "because of its unique perspective and vision." Plus, they want to sell me a book for fifty bucks.
Yep. Fifty bucks. Oh, if I want a personal profile about myself, I have to pay $25.00 for that.
Sounds like a scam. However, I can now add "published poet" to my list of accomplishments.
Curtis needed to borrow some money - he's been spending his time either sick or driving his girlfriend around for a family health emergency and hasn't been working. He paid me back once; I guess I'm pushing the envelope.
Speaking of bois and their needs, I heard from PJ last week. He sent a nice email; but after only an exchange of ONE set of messages, the truth came out - he wants something. This time - for me to create a fake tax document for him so that he can pretend he had a job and income and can get an apartment.
Yeah, right.
About to crack open some files and get more work done, then tonight, R&R are bribing me with dinner to continue helping them with their QuickBooks. Tomorrow night, Brian is coming over for divo-ghetti, which will be fun.
Did another tax return for a "displaced person" today. In other words, someone who had a job, lost the job, couldn't find other work and is now living at friends' homes or under a bridge. There but for the grace of God ..
Eric from Vancouver is coming down in the next few weeks to work on some websites for me and to generally raise the energy level. He operates at a pre-school/nuclear power plant level, and should make things quite lively. I'm looking forward to him coming down. He's just "right between the eyes" direct. Calls a spade a spade.
Other than that, things are same-ol', same-ol'. I complete five full years of living in my apartment at the end of this month - I think that this is the longest that I've lived anywhere since I moved from my mom's house.
Now, if I could just put down a nice, taupe ceramic or stone tile on the floor ...
And that's the way it is .. for hump day, March 5.
Safe travels...
Okay, so this will be the third time I try to post this.
It's another rainy afternoon in Baghdad on the Bayou. My friend Larry calls Houston by that name, and I don't know if it's for the politics or the climate, but I like it.
So, it stays.
Saw Curtis last night. He came over about midnight, which woke me up, and spent the night. Seems he's gotten his 19 year old girlfriend pregnant, and he's very happy about it.
I think it's akin to putting a shotgun to your head and pulling the trigger. But that's just me.
My poem "Bumper Cars" has been selected for publication in a book by poetry.com "because of its unique perspective and vision." Plus, they want to sell me a book for fifty bucks.
Yep. Fifty bucks. Oh, if I want a personal profile about myself, I have to pay $25.00 for that.
Sounds like a scam. However, I can now add "published poet" to my list of accomplishments.
Curtis needed to borrow some money - he's been spending his time either sick or driving his girlfriend around for a family health emergency and hasn't been working. He paid me back once; I guess I'm pushing the envelope.
Speaking of bois and their needs, I heard from PJ last week. He sent a nice email; but after only an exchange of ONE set of messages, the truth came out - he wants something. This time - for me to create a fake tax document for him so that he can pretend he had a job and income and can get an apartment.
Yeah, right.
About to crack open some files and get more work done, then tonight, R&R are bribing me with dinner to continue helping them with their QuickBooks. Tomorrow night, Brian is coming over for divo-ghetti, which will be fun.
Did another tax return for a "displaced person" today. In other words, someone who had a job, lost the job, couldn't find other work and is now living at friends' homes or under a bridge. There but for the grace of God ..
Eric from Vancouver is coming down in the next few weeks to work on some websites for me and to generally raise the energy level. He operates at a pre-school/nuclear power plant level, and should make things quite lively. I'm looking forward to him coming down. He's just "right between the eyes" direct. Calls a spade a spade.
Other than that, things are same-ol', same-ol'. I complete five full years of living in my apartment at the end of this month - I think that this is the longest that I've lived anywhere since I moved from my mom's house.
Now, if I could just put down a nice, taupe ceramic or stone tile on the floor ...
And that's the way it is .. for hump day, March 5.
Safe travels...
Sunday, February 16, 2003
Apres Valentine's Day
Mikey came over today, and worked on my PC. It's MUCH improved; things that haven't worked right since we updated the Windows are now working, although the printer/scanner thing is still not functional. We also went and had pictures developed, shopped for birthday cards, gay stuff, used DVDs and groceries. It was a nice afternoon; he left around 5:00 and then I goofed around, did more laundry and watched HBO Sunday.
Back to San Jacinto tomorrow for another meeting to help secure my future employment. I have to go to Memorial Park tomorrow after work, and start trading evening lay about time for evening walk six miles time.
Also got caught up on sending emails tonight, and some other communication issues. Still haven't balanced my checkbook, or paid bills. Something about needing to have income first.
Realized that I did create a marketing plan more than a year ago; Michael just never read or commented on it. John (Michael's brother-in-law) seems to like what I've written.
Have a bunch of little things to do tomorrow morning at work; I may even get some work done.
Nothing profound to write tonight - just realized that playing with bisexual guys is a waste of time; they are just not after the same thing, ultimately. Curtis is a nice lad, but it's time for him to move along. Him and the rest of his ilk.
Best wishes for the new week to you, gentle reader.
D -
Mikey came over today, and worked on my PC. It's MUCH improved; things that haven't worked right since we updated the Windows are now working, although the printer/scanner thing is still not functional. We also went and had pictures developed, shopped for birthday cards, gay stuff, used DVDs and groceries. It was a nice afternoon; he left around 5:00 and then I goofed around, did more laundry and watched HBO Sunday.
Back to San Jacinto tomorrow for another meeting to help secure my future employment. I have to go to Memorial Park tomorrow after work, and start trading evening lay about time for evening walk six miles time.
Also got caught up on sending emails tonight, and some other communication issues. Still haven't balanced my checkbook, or paid bills. Something about needing to have income first.
Realized that I did create a marketing plan more than a year ago; Michael just never read or commented on it. John (Michael's brother-in-law) seems to like what I've written.
Have a bunch of little things to do tomorrow morning at work; I may even get some work done.
Nothing profound to write tonight - just realized that playing with bisexual guys is a waste of time; they are just not after the same thing, ultimately. Curtis is a nice lad, but it's time for him to move along. Him and the rest of his ilk.
Best wishes for the new week to you, gentle reader.
D -
Wednesday, February 12, 2003
To XM or not to XM
Over the last few weeks, I've been thinking about subscribing to XM radio; I love the "toy" aspect of the service. However, the question remained - am I someone who would pay $10 a month for radio service?
Last night, I went to Richard & Rick's for dinner, and was trying to listen to the new 80's station in the car. They advertise that they have the FEWEST commercials.
The entire 14 minute trip over there - commercials.
So, yes, I am someone who would pay for satellite radio.
Things are slow as molasses in February here at the office. No, or few tax returns each day, loan referrals have nearly stopped, and I believe I ran off the only realtor who was giving me business, because I wouldn't put up with his abusive nonsense anymore.
We haven't been doing marketing, and things just seem to have stopped.
This was rather what I was afraid of when things started to go well with San Jacinto college - that the business that was supporting me and my life would fall apart as soon as the new thing manifested.
Scary.
This business just so sucks - the grocery store hasn't closed and funded; it's been put off another two days, which puts the funding into next week, which means .. I'm still anxious and feeling broke.
Curtis is actually paying me back, which is a world first - I gave a boi some money, and he's driving over tonight, the night he promised originally, to pay me back.
I don't know if I will know how to act.
Did I mention [here] that UH-CL has reniged on expanding my teaching schedule? I think I have.
I guess it's time to start thinking about what's next for me ..
More later.
Over the last few weeks, I've been thinking about subscribing to XM radio; I love the "toy" aspect of the service. However, the question remained - am I someone who would pay $10 a month for radio service?
Last night, I went to Richard & Rick's for dinner, and was trying to listen to the new 80's station in the car. They advertise that they have the FEWEST commercials.
The entire 14 minute trip over there - commercials.
So, yes, I am someone who would pay for satellite radio.
Things are slow as molasses in February here at the office. No, or few tax returns each day, loan referrals have nearly stopped, and I believe I ran off the only realtor who was giving me business, because I wouldn't put up with his abusive nonsense anymore.
We haven't been doing marketing, and things just seem to have stopped.
This was rather what I was afraid of when things started to go well with San Jacinto college - that the business that was supporting me and my life would fall apart as soon as the new thing manifested.
Scary.
This business just so sucks - the grocery store hasn't closed and funded; it's been put off another two days, which puts the funding into next week, which means .. I'm still anxious and feeling broke.
Curtis is actually paying me back, which is a world first - I gave a boi some money, and he's driving over tonight, the night he promised originally, to pay me back.
I don't know if I will know how to act.
Did I mention [here] that UH-CL has reniged on expanding my teaching schedule? I think I have.
I guess it's time to start thinking about what's next for me ..
More later.
Friday, February 07, 2003
the importance of chicken soup
Also, the importance of not overloading your computer with too many active windows ...
Yesterday, I was sick. The kind of sick that makes where you are TOO out of it to hope that death takes you before the next wave of stomach distress comes over you. I slept 22 hours yesterday, was in bed so long that my body hurt from just being reclined.
Have you ever been so sore that you couldn't find a comfortable position? I can't imagine what it must be like to be incapacitated in bed for weeks or months.
After getting up to call in sick, I slept until 4:50 yesterday afternoon. I called my friend James and left him a voice mail asking him to please pick me up some chicken soup, since I needed to eat SOMETHING.
An hour later, he was at my door, Progresso soup and comfort in hand.
James is just the kind of friend that everyone must have to have a successful life. He's what they were talking about when they said "Chicken Soup for the Soul."
Just was on the Airliners.net website looking at their aviation forums - they had one series that was a hoot - best airliner nicknames. My favorite was for the Tupelov Tu-154 (a Russian copy of the Boeing 727) - called "727 diesel."
I have to make cinnamon rolls tonight for class tomorrow (in church.)
Working this weekend, working on personal financial record keeping, working here at work, working (on Sunday) on Richard and Rick's financial record keeping (why are they setting up QuickBooks? Rick won't use it.)
Oh boy. Another weekend with no prospect for down time.
Curtis is going to see WWF tonight with his girlfriend. I'm sure I'll see him sometime this weekend, since he needs to pick up his laundry.
Bill has packed up his fish tank, and has moved on/up. I need to have my own conversation with Michael about commission structures and the like here.
Also, the importance of not overloading your computer with too many active windows ...
Yesterday, I was sick. The kind of sick that makes where you are TOO out of it to hope that death takes you before the next wave of stomach distress comes over you. I slept 22 hours yesterday, was in bed so long that my body hurt from just being reclined.
Have you ever been so sore that you couldn't find a comfortable position? I can't imagine what it must be like to be incapacitated in bed for weeks or months.
After getting up to call in sick, I slept until 4:50 yesterday afternoon. I called my friend James and left him a voice mail asking him to please pick me up some chicken soup, since I needed to eat SOMETHING.
An hour later, he was at my door, Progresso soup and comfort in hand.
James is just the kind of friend that everyone must have to have a successful life. He's what they were talking about when they said "Chicken Soup for the Soul."
Just was on the Airliners.net website looking at their aviation forums - they had one series that was a hoot - best airliner nicknames. My favorite was for the Tupelov Tu-154 (a Russian copy of the Boeing 727) - called "727 diesel."
I have to make cinnamon rolls tonight for class tomorrow (in church.)
Working this weekend, working on personal financial record keeping, working here at work, working (on Sunday) on Richard and Rick's financial record keeping (why are they setting up QuickBooks? Rick won't use it.)
Oh boy. Another weekend with no prospect for down time.
Curtis is going to see WWF tonight with his girlfriend. I'm sure I'll see him sometime this weekend, since he needs to pick up his laundry.
Bill has packed up his fish tank, and has moved on/up. I need to have my own conversation with Michael about commission structures and the like here.
Wednesday, February 05, 2003
Well, I asked for a sign
Be careful what you wish for.
Bill, from all appearances, is about to pack up his shovel and pail and head for another sandbox. I like him, but it's probably for the best all around.
According to the IRS, Michael's making his employees pay the employer portion of FUTA and Medicare tax is illegal, and so I'm thinking of spending part of my weekend calculating how much he's shorted me over the last year, and telling him about it.
That, and a raise.
Tonight, I promised Jeffrey yet again that I would go to the car club monthly meeting, and lo - Dr. John called and was having an emotional crisis of sorts, and he kept me until 8:15 talking about it. So, I missed it yet again.
I love Jeffrey and Steven to DEATH, but that car club paradigm is like trying to socialize with the two newest debutantes - their dance card is PACKED, and I just stand around looking at the same old cars and the same old queens while they try to keep up, socially.
Tomorrow night, I'm going to be working until about 9:00 - retail hours to accomodate two girls who need their taxes done and can't get there before 8:00. The check cashing store down the street is sending, on average, three new tax customers a day down to me, and that's awesome.
Heard from a recruiter today - a woman I haven't heard from in two years. Suddenly, this morning, she calls. Amazing. I'll see what they have to offer.
Another night that I just can't sleep to save my life.
Curtis came over last night around midnight; which of course, woke me up. I guess I got back to bed around 1:00 or so. I don't know when he came to bed; but he clearly tried to watch some television before he did.
No one (who doesn't resemble me and live here) can figure out how to just watch the cable TV at my place. They always try to tune with the TV, and not with the cable box. That, and they can't figure out that everything is routed through the stereo receiver.
It's always amusing.
I've been thinking about putting new wheels on Ruby - she needs tires, but wheels are excelsior. Then, as I was walking the mutts for the fourth time today, I got to thinking that I could probably get a decent 32 - 36" TV for the price of four wheels ($650) and do that instead of the new wheels.
So, I'm thinking.
Wrote to Chris Ayres tonight for the first time in a while. Only three and a half months until auditions for "Forum," and I have GOT to be the best that auditions.
Well, that's all I can think of for tonight. No profundity. Later!
Be careful what you wish for.
Bill, from all appearances, is about to pack up his shovel and pail and head for another sandbox. I like him, but it's probably for the best all around.
According to the IRS, Michael's making his employees pay the employer portion of FUTA and Medicare tax is illegal, and so I'm thinking of spending part of my weekend calculating how much he's shorted me over the last year, and telling him about it.
That, and a raise.
Tonight, I promised Jeffrey yet again that I would go to the car club monthly meeting, and lo - Dr. John called and was having an emotional crisis of sorts, and he kept me until 8:15 talking about it. So, I missed it yet again.
I love Jeffrey and Steven to DEATH, but that car club paradigm is like trying to socialize with the two newest debutantes - their dance card is PACKED, and I just stand around looking at the same old cars and the same old queens while they try to keep up, socially.
Tomorrow night, I'm going to be working until about 9:00 - retail hours to accomodate two girls who need their taxes done and can't get there before 8:00. The check cashing store down the street is sending, on average, three new tax customers a day down to me, and that's awesome.
Heard from a recruiter today - a woman I haven't heard from in two years. Suddenly, this morning, she calls. Amazing. I'll see what they have to offer.
Another night that I just can't sleep to save my life.
Curtis came over last night around midnight; which of course, woke me up. I guess I got back to bed around 1:00 or so. I don't know when he came to bed; but he clearly tried to watch some television before he did.
No one (who doesn't resemble me and live here) can figure out how to just watch the cable TV at my place. They always try to tune with the TV, and not with the cable box. That, and they can't figure out that everything is routed through the stereo receiver.
It's always amusing.
I've been thinking about putting new wheels on Ruby - she needs tires, but wheels are excelsior. Then, as I was walking the mutts for the fourth time today, I got to thinking that I could probably get a decent 32 - 36" TV for the price of four wheels ($650) and do that instead of the new wheels.
So, I'm thinking.
Wrote to Chris Ayres tonight for the first time in a while. Only three and a half months until auditions for "Forum," and I have GOT to be the best that auditions.
Well, that's all I can think of for tonight. No profundity. Later!
Tuesday, February 04, 2003
So, sometimes I have good taste
Of late, I've been focusing on trying to maintain my sanity and trying to help Curtis through some rough times.
Tonight, Scott asked me to come work with him (which I'm seriously thinking about) and Curtis dropped in at the restaurant where we were having a glass of wine. Curtis dropped in to pick up a few dollars that I was loaning him to cover his picking up his dog and cat from the animal shelter (long story) until he gets his paycheck.
Scott about popped out an ovum or two upon seeing Curtis. He about fainted after Curtis got up and left - he had the vapours.
So - to work with Scott or not? Is the grass greener?
University of Houston - Clear Lake, in a totally predictable move, reniged on their promise of increasing my teaching schedule by 100% and so I'm back to the old eight Saturdays a year.
You are as flexible as you can possibly be, helpful, prompt, a rave with the students -
And they still fuck you.
San Jac called today - hopefully, that will go better.
God, please tell me which way to jump. And none of that "it's your choice" shit.
Of late, I've been focusing on trying to maintain my sanity and trying to help Curtis through some rough times.
Tonight, Scott asked me to come work with him (which I'm seriously thinking about) and Curtis dropped in at the restaurant where we were having a glass of wine. Curtis dropped in to pick up a few dollars that I was loaning him to cover his picking up his dog and cat from the animal shelter (long story) until he gets his paycheck.
Scott about popped out an ovum or two upon seeing Curtis. He about fainted after Curtis got up and left - he had the vapours.
So - to work with Scott or not? Is the grass greener?
University of Houston - Clear Lake, in a totally predictable move, reniged on their promise of increasing my teaching schedule by 100% and so I'm back to the old eight Saturdays a year.
You are as flexible as you can possibly be, helpful, prompt, a rave with the students -
And they still fuck you.
San Jac called today - hopefully, that will go better.
God, please tell me which way to jump. And none of that "it's your choice" shit.
Thursday, January 30, 2003
It's been a while since I've posted -
I've had Stevan (the dog groomer) AND Curtis staying with me this week. So, this means WAY sleep deprived. Curtis comes over around 11:00 or so and wants to play on the computer until 2:00; Stevan comes home around midnight or so and the dogs go absolutely haywire with both of them coming in. So, sleep doesn't occur until later, and, of course, when Curtis crawls into bed, that wakes me up as well.
All this and I'm not getting laid.
Tomorrow to San Antonio to help Richard's father sort out his trust and probate matters before he re-marries.
Beantown. At least this time we're staying in a hotel. Back on Saturday, so that weekend won't be a total loss.
Have to find out of Curtis is staying with me over the weekend or not. His new place isn't ready yet, so I offered to let him stay with me.
I'll think of something profound to write soon. Until then ..
Love, D -
I've had Stevan (the dog groomer) AND Curtis staying with me this week. So, this means WAY sleep deprived. Curtis comes over around 11:00 or so and wants to play on the computer until 2:00; Stevan comes home around midnight or so and the dogs go absolutely haywire with both of them coming in. So, sleep doesn't occur until later, and, of course, when Curtis crawls into bed, that wakes me up as well.
All this and I'm not getting laid.
Tomorrow to San Antonio to help Richard's father sort out his trust and probate matters before he re-marries.
Beantown. At least this time we're staying in a hotel. Back on Saturday, so that weekend won't be a total loss.
Have to find out of Curtis is staying with me over the weekend or not. His new place isn't ready yet, so I offered to let him stay with me.
I'll think of something profound to write soon. Until then ..
Love, D -
Thursday, January 23, 2003
Sunny Thursdays
Something's wrong with Ruby; while I know that she needs new tires, but driving her causes the whole front end to wobble, which seems odd. She has always had this little rumble and jolt thing in the left front brake, and I wonder if it has cut loose somehow.
Anyway.
I just likened the business that I'm in to trying to harrow a field using some teeth strung on a necklace.
Something's wrong with Ruby; while I know that she needs new tires, but driving her causes the whole front end to wobble, which seems odd. She has always had this little rumble and jolt thing in the left front brake, and I wonder if it has cut loose somehow.
Anyway.
I just likened the business that I'm in to trying to harrow a field using some teeth strung on a necklace.
Wednesday, January 22, 2003
Brrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!
Another rude north wind has stepped into town today. Today was hectic, with lots of loan inquiries, things to be worked on, and a two hour meeting with Michael about the trend of things.
I'm so looking forward to the mental background improvement of having everything organized at home, that I can hardly wait for the end of the day!
Earlier today, I peeked into gay.com, and saw this guy -
Gay.com Personals
This is someone who could get me forgetting about Curtis.
Another rude north wind has stepped into town today. Today was hectic, with lots of loan inquiries, things to be worked on, and a two hour meeting with Michael about the trend of things.
I'm so looking forward to the mental background improvement of having everything organized at home, that I can hardly wait for the end of the day!
Earlier today, I peeked into gay.com, and saw this guy -
Gay.com Personals
This is someone who could get me forgetting about Curtis.
Tuesday, January 21, 2003
The refreshment of garbage, the comfort of vinyl
Greg contacted me tonight. Ah, Greg. There was torture in the past, but what wonderful inspiration for a performance in a musical two years ago.
I spent part of tonight going through my two big, plastic file boxes and tossing old paperwork. Just for good measure, I went through my filing cabinet (now, just admit it, you immediately thought of a big, grey thing with four drawers and steel handles, rusting on the bottom, and jammed with old papers. Fie! A pox on you for imagining such a thing in MY casita!) and pulled out more old and useless paperwork. Now, I'm only one casual evening away from having all lof my papers filed in neat order. TWO big kitchen garbage bags of stuff to the trash tonight. I feel lighter already!
I may have the bed cleared off before Friday. In the guest room. My bed is cleared every night.
Sigh.
I've been listening to vinyl tonight. First were two lovely jazz albums, Cleo Lane, and then a montage of jazz singers - second was the 1977 smash album "Main Course" by the BeeGees, and now I'm listening to the sound track to "Electric Dreams," that crappy, sappy 1980s movie about a computer that takes over a guy's life. The title cut is AWESOME.
The rest of the album is crappy, though - just like the movie that spawned it.
It's so comforting to listen to vinyl. It's just so .. warm.
Yes, I know everyone and their dog has used that term to compare vinyl to CDs or other digital music, but .. it fits.
Get over it.
I'm going to be SO happy to have all this crap gone through and organized.
When Johnny died, I had quite an awakening about all this 'crap' that is so important in life. I realized that all that "stuff" he was so obsessed about was suddenly meaningless to anyone. It was just waste paper.
So, I've been going through all this stuff tonight, and tossing anything that I'm truly not going to use again, or won't be amused or happy to have saved a few years from now.
And enjoying the freedom of knowing that all this crap I've tossed out will NEVER again plague the back of my mind.
Once I'm done here, I'll be able to quickly and easily locate anything that I have kept in this apartment. Possibly for the first time since I started keeping records around 1981.
Now, I have more stuff to decide on before Friday - the big package of UPS shipper stuff, for instance. Am I really going to make a go of an eBay part time career? No, probably not. Should I keep all this stuff? No, probably not.
I have another big eBay garage sale coming up, though, so maybe I should hang on to it for a short while. My goal is to have all these dresser drawers emptied out - by the end of February.
And everything framed and up on the walls that's going.
I wish now that I had the speakers in this bedroom wired up. It would make listening to the stereo so much better in here.
Okay, time to empty the dogs and contemplate going to bed. Prayers to people in Mexico City and the surrounding areas -
And love to you, gentle readers..
Divo
Greg contacted me tonight. Ah, Greg. There was torture in the past, but what wonderful inspiration for a performance in a musical two years ago.
I spent part of tonight going through my two big, plastic file boxes and tossing old paperwork. Just for good measure, I went through my filing cabinet (now, just admit it, you immediately thought of a big, grey thing with four drawers and steel handles, rusting on the bottom, and jammed with old papers. Fie! A pox on you for imagining such a thing in MY casita!) and pulled out more old and useless paperwork. Now, I'm only one casual evening away from having all lof my papers filed in neat order. TWO big kitchen garbage bags of stuff to the trash tonight. I feel lighter already!
I may have the bed cleared off before Friday. In the guest room. My bed is cleared every night.
Sigh.
I've been listening to vinyl tonight. First were two lovely jazz albums, Cleo Lane, and then a montage of jazz singers - second was the 1977 smash album "Main Course" by the BeeGees, and now I'm listening to the sound track to "Electric Dreams," that crappy, sappy 1980s movie about a computer that takes over a guy's life. The title cut is AWESOME.
The rest of the album is crappy, though - just like the movie that spawned it.
It's so comforting to listen to vinyl. It's just so .. warm.
Yes, I know everyone and their dog has used that term to compare vinyl to CDs or other digital music, but .. it fits.
Get over it.
I'm going to be SO happy to have all this crap gone through and organized.
When Johnny died, I had quite an awakening about all this 'crap' that is so important in life. I realized that all that "stuff" he was so obsessed about was suddenly meaningless to anyone. It was just waste paper.
So, I've been going through all this stuff tonight, and tossing anything that I'm truly not going to use again, or won't be amused or happy to have saved a few years from now.
And enjoying the freedom of knowing that all this crap I've tossed out will NEVER again plague the back of my mind.
Once I'm done here, I'll be able to quickly and easily locate anything that I have kept in this apartment. Possibly for the first time since I started keeping records around 1981.
Now, I have more stuff to decide on before Friday - the big package of UPS shipper stuff, for instance. Am I really going to make a go of an eBay part time career? No, probably not. Should I keep all this stuff? No, probably not.
I have another big eBay garage sale coming up, though, so maybe I should hang on to it for a short while. My goal is to have all these dresser drawers emptied out - by the end of February.
And everything framed and up on the walls that's going.
I wish now that I had the speakers in this bedroom wired up. It would make listening to the stereo so much better in here.
Okay, time to empty the dogs and contemplate going to bed. Prayers to people in Mexico City and the surrounding areas -
And love to you, gentle readers..
Divo
Last night, I got up from bed (buzzing of the brain) and came in to write (what I thought was) a brilliant blog. Dashing, it was. I clicked "post and publish," and ..
the universe came to an end. My blog was lost. So, now I must try to re-create it. Can one ever re-create such a thing?
There were meanderings about my ongoing airport dream, about flying to Kuala Lumpur, about ....
Paradise lost.
Took some pictures of the apartment last night. I have eight more pictures on this roll to take, then I'll have the film developed.
Heard from Matthew yesterday; he's been fired, and has all the other concommitant 22 year old drama going on in his life. He still was open to having me take him someplace nice for dinner, and get him drunk on expensive booze.
Uh, no.
Trying to track down old friends today - and work on credit reports...
Hope you have a great day!
Oh, and James - thanks for bringing Vietnamese for lunch yesterday. Life has rather sucked lately, and that was a bright spot.
Friday, January 17, 2003
Apres moi, le deluge
Well, it's another day.
Just as I was starting to think that things couldn't turn around, they did. Anticipatorily, anyway.
But since human beings exist on hope, not reality, it's more important to have things LOOK like they're turning out than actually turning out.
Actually, I think I need to cook up a poem about what really drives people. That's something else on my list for tomorrow.
Curtis (as distinct from Kurtis) was supposed to come over tonight. He said that he was going to be partying at his house - I hope I talked him out of it.
Well, it's another day.
Just as I was starting to think that things couldn't turn around, they did. Anticipatorily, anyway.
But since human beings exist on hope, not reality, it's more important to have things LOOK like they're turning out than actually turning out.
Actually, I think I need to cook up a poem about what really drives people. That's something else on my list for tomorrow.
Curtis (as distinct from Kurtis) was supposed to come over tonight. He said that he was going to be partying at his house - I hope I talked him out of it.
Thursday, January 16, 2003
When is enough ENOUGH?
Today's imponderable question is: When is it enough? How long do you beat your head against the wall before throwing in the towel and starting again somewhere else? Is a year enough? When do you become sure enough that you have tried it long enough that you don't question that you moved?
15 months ago, I was unemployed in the wake of psycho Judy and the business model that spent money but developed no sales. My law school friend Michael wanted me to work with him setting up a tax preparation and [maybe] mortgage office near my apartment. He would front the money to set it up, I'd provide all the labor. I would only be paid for what I produced - a percentage of the tax prep profits, and a percentage of income from mortgages. So, we've lurched along now, with a hand written agreement that is totally non-specific as to WHEN profits would be analyzed and paid, and I've worked my tail off, even though I've harbored a grudge since before I said yes over his comment "I want to harness your brain and make money off of it."
I said yes to his proposal not because I wanted to, or because I thought it was the best opportunity, but because, frankly gentle reader, there was NOTHING ELSE TO CHOOSE FROM.
And here I am.
The mortgage business is, as Michael calls it, a commodity. All things devolve eventually into a commodity. And in a commodity market, there is nothing to distinguish the product; the only way to make income is to enhance volume. Thus, in my business, there is nothing to distinguish a user from one to the next - their choice is frequently made on the basis of a personal feeling, or arbitrary matters.
In other words, in the mortgage business, I am not unique.
There are other issues - but, the bottom line is that I struggle to make a living every month, and I just feel that I'm too damned old to have to fight to survive every month.
However, what else can I do that will support me while I try to re-create myself into an emerging marketplace, rather than being a competitor in a commodity market?
The program into which I intend to place myself is one which is truly emerging. The doctoral degree programs have only existed a few years, and I would be one of a very small number of people who would be out consulting with such credentials. It will take me three years or so to finish, and so my life needs to support me and the tuition and expenses during that period.
Since my entry into adulthood, I've never really looked at myself, until today, as being on the wrong end of the market curve. When I went to law school, I was cresting a wave or law school enrollments that broke onto the shores of humanity in the United States, swamping everyone with a glut of lawyers, all looking for some way to scratch out a living.
I started bankruptcy law just at a time that it was becoming automated; just as I was getting known and very good at it, Windows versions of the software became readily available, and anyone with a couple hundred bucks and a law license could be a "bankrtupcy lawyer."
I went into the mortgage business at the tail end of a mortgage broker's being able to well and truly accomplish something for a client; now, anyone with perfect credit can get a loan over the internet with very little effort. Mortgage brokers will fairly soon go the way of the buggy whip -
Do I want to ride that wave down to its predictable end?
Clearly, not.
Today's imponderable question is: When is it enough? How long do you beat your head against the wall before throwing in the towel and starting again somewhere else? Is a year enough? When do you become sure enough that you have tried it long enough that you don't question that you moved?
15 months ago, I was unemployed in the wake of psycho Judy and the business model that spent money but developed no sales. My law school friend Michael wanted me to work with him setting up a tax preparation and [maybe] mortgage office near my apartment. He would front the money to set it up, I'd provide all the labor. I would only be paid for what I produced - a percentage of the tax prep profits, and a percentage of income from mortgages. So, we've lurched along now, with a hand written agreement that is totally non-specific as to WHEN profits would be analyzed and paid, and I've worked my tail off, even though I've harbored a grudge since before I said yes over his comment "I want to harness your brain and make money off of it."
I said yes to his proposal not because I wanted to, or because I thought it was the best opportunity, but because, frankly gentle reader, there was NOTHING ELSE TO CHOOSE FROM.
And here I am.
The mortgage business is, as Michael calls it, a commodity. All things devolve eventually into a commodity. And in a commodity market, there is nothing to distinguish the product; the only way to make income is to enhance volume. Thus, in my business, there is nothing to distinguish a user from one to the next - their choice is frequently made on the basis of a personal feeling, or arbitrary matters.
In other words, in the mortgage business, I am not unique.
There are other issues - but, the bottom line is that I struggle to make a living every month, and I just feel that I'm too damned old to have to fight to survive every month.
However, what else can I do that will support me while I try to re-create myself into an emerging marketplace, rather than being a competitor in a commodity market?
The program into which I intend to place myself is one which is truly emerging. The doctoral degree programs have only existed a few years, and I would be one of a very small number of people who would be out consulting with such credentials. It will take me three years or so to finish, and so my life needs to support me and the tuition and expenses during that period.
Since my entry into adulthood, I've never really looked at myself, until today, as being on the wrong end of the market curve. When I went to law school, I was cresting a wave or law school enrollments that broke onto the shores of humanity in the United States, swamping everyone with a glut of lawyers, all looking for some way to scratch out a living.
I started bankruptcy law just at a time that it was becoming automated; just as I was getting known and very good at it, Windows versions of the software became readily available, and anyone with a couple hundred bucks and a law license could be a "bankrtupcy lawyer."
I went into the mortgage business at the tail end of a mortgage broker's being able to well and truly accomplish something for a client; now, anyone with perfect credit can get a loan over the internet with very little effort. Mortgage brokers will fairly soon go the way of the buggy whip -
Do I want to ride that wave down to its predictable end?
Clearly, not.
Monday, January 13, 2003
Once more, with feeling
Matthew cancelled today - I guess that was fine - it was much cheaper than actually driving over to pick him up, taking him somewhere for dinner, then getting involved in any way only THEN to be snaggled by the "maybe" monster.
The maybe monster is a device used by younger people to avoid making a commitment or a negative reply. "Will you go to the party with me?" "Probably."
"Probably" falls into the great Divo rule of "any answer other than yes is no." "Probably" is "no" with a knife.
"Probably" means "not yes, but I'll have you think yes while I see if something better than you and your idea comes along."
Matthew is a heavy user of "probably."
Today, I asked a friend of mine if he'd like to come to my cocktail party, and he answered "Probably - I'll write it down, and see if I can make it."
Turns out he's been sick. I probably shouldn't have accused him of spending too much time chasing youngsters.
He does, though.
Matthew cancelled today - I guess that was fine - it was much cheaper than actually driving over to pick him up, taking him somewhere for dinner, then getting involved in any way only THEN to be snaggled by the "maybe" monster.
The maybe monster is a device used by younger people to avoid making a commitment or a negative reply. "Will you go to the party with me?" "Probably."
"Probably" falls into the great Divo rule of "any answer other than yes is no." "Probably" is "no" with a knife.
"Probably" means "not yes, but I'll have you think yes while I see if something better than you and your idea comes along."
Matthew is a heavy user of "probably."
Today, I asked a friend of mine if he'd like to come to my cocktail party, and he answered "Probably - I'll write it down, and see if I can make it."
Turns out he's been sick. I probably shouldn't have accused him of spending too much time chasing youngsters.
He does, though.
Finally following advice -
Sometimes, it only takes a while.
Before 09/11/01, I finally got certified to lead Zenger Miller courses through Camber Corporation. Three weeks later, "they" blew up the World Trade Center, and .. well ..
That job really ended because Psycho Judy had blown through four years of development budget in just under two years - and brought in ONE contract for a single day's training of $800.
Did I mention that they paid out more than $800 to go down and deliver the training?
Anyway, I like the 09/11/01 excuse better - it sounds so .. community oriented.
After I got nuked over at Camber, I approached UH-CL, for whom I've been teaching since 1995, and I asked them if they would be interested in doing the Zenger Miller thing. After six months, and two meetings, they decided not to pursue it, and my boss over there told me to approach San Jacinto Junior College about it.
So, I put it off. For six months. Or better.
Today, after having one loan blow up and and a "friend" blow me off on an appraisal comment, I called.
They nearly hired me over the phone. So, I go tomorrow at 2:00 to meet with them.
She seemed to sound like they had a LOT of classes to teach. So, who gives a flip about whether the interest rates go up or down?
I should be starting this by the end of February.
Sometimes, it only takes a while.
Before 09/11/01, I finally got certified to lead Zenger Miller courses through Camber Corporation. Three weeks later, "they" blew up the World Trade Center, and .. well ..
That job really ended because Psycho Judy had blown through four years of development budget in just under two years - and brought in ONE contract for a single day's training of $800.
Did I mention that they paid out more than $800 to go down and deliver the training?
Anyway, I like the 09/11/01 excuse better - it sounds so .. community oriented.
After I got nuked over at Camber, I approached UH-CL, for whom I've been teaching since 1995, and I asked them if they would be interested in doing the Zenger Miller thing. After six months, and two meetings, they decided not to pursue it, and my boss over there told me to approach San Jacinto Junior College about it.
So, I put it off. For six months. Or better.
Today, after having one loan blow up and and a "friend" blow me off on an appraisal comment, I called.
They nearly hired me over the phone. So, I go tomorrow at 2:00 to meet with them.
She seemed to sound like they had a LOT of classes to teach. So, who gives a flip about whether the interest rates go up or down?
I should be starting this by the end of February.
Sunday, January 12, 2003
Matthew, Chapter Two, Verse One
A lovely evening at Richard's again - it's cold here tonight!! 37F/2C! Brrrr!
Today was somewhat productive, and will be an early evening to bed. I got caught up on records filing, and am waffling on whether to put a light in my curio over the porcelain goddess, which will hold my airline glass.
Talked to Matthew today for a while. Last we exchanged messages, he said he thought it would be better if we were just friends.
Today, we seem to have had an about-face. He mentioned that he had been bored and lonely, and that I had "always shown him a good time."
So, the bottom line is that we're going to dinner tomorrow night, my anti-Y pledge notwithstanding.
I'll report in later.
Tonight's pearl of wisdom, from "Sex and the City." It goes - "There are three things that people in the city are always looking for: A job, an apartment and a man. Why is it that, when I have two of three that are fabulous, I define myself by my lack of the third?"
Amen, sister.
A lovely evening at Richard's again - it's cold here tonight!! 37F/2C! Brrrr!
Today was somewhat productive, and will be an early evening to bed. I got caught up on records filing, and am waffling on whether to put a light in my curio over the porcelain goddess, which will hold my airline glass.
Talked to Matthew today for a while. Last we exchanged messages, he said he thought it would be better if we were just friends.
Today, we seem to have had an about-face. He mentioned that he had been bored and lonely, and that I had "always shown him a good time."
So, the bottom line is that we're going to dinner tomorrow night, my anti-Y pledge notwithstanding.
I'll report in later.
Tonight's pearl of wisdom, from "Sex and the City." It goes - "There are three things that people in the city are always looking for: A job, an apartment and a man. Why is it that, when I have two of three that are fabulous, I define myself by my lack of the third?"
Amen, sister.
Monday, January 06, 2003
Joey the Satanic Flirt and the Purple Bedroom
It's nearly 4:30 today, and time to go home and see where things are. The guest room/den/room-E is finished in Polo blue and Polo minty green (colors that my extra-sized office at Big Nellie Mortgage was painted - they now have THREE people in there - imagine?) and we'll see how it looks like when I've shoved the furniture back in it.
I have to find someone unsuspecting to help me move furniture back IN to the room tonight, and help me move furniture from my bedroom OUT. This means that by tomorrow evening, the painting will be done, the house will be mine again and EVERYTHING will have been dusted, polished, cleaned under and behind, and so on.
Perhaps Curtis is available tonight.
Okay, it's time to stop pretending I'm a mortgage broker, and go home to walk the dogs. My friend Z tells me I'm ALWAYS walking the dogs.
I'm sure they don't think so.
Put a bunch of VHS tapes and books on Amazon last night, and they're flying off the shelves! I sold six tapes today and a book. Very exciting.
Hopefully, I can figure some other way to unload the detritus of overcollecting.
It's nearly 4:30 today, and time to go home and see where things are. The guest room/den/room-E is finished in Polo blue and Polo minty green (colors that my extra-sized office at Big Nellie Mortgage was painted - they now have THREE people in there - imagine?) and we'll see how it looks like when I've shoved the furniture back in it.
I have to find someone unsuspecting to help me move furniture back IN to the room tonight, and help me move furniture from my bedroom OUT. This means that by tomorrow evening, the painting will be done, the house will be mine again and EVERYTHING will have been dusted, polished, cleaned under and behind, and so on.
Perhaps Curtis is available tonight.
Okay, it's time to stop pretending I'm a mortgage broker, and go home to walk the dogs. My friend Z tells me I'm ALWAYS walking the dogs.
I'm sure they don't think so.
Put a bunch of VHS tapes and books on Amazon last night, and they're flying off the shelves! I sold six tapes today and a book. Very exciting.
Hopefully, I can figure some other way to unload the detritus of overcollecting.
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