When is enough ENOUGH?

Today's imponderable question is: When is it enough? How long do you beat your head against the wall before throwing in the towel and starting again somewhere else? Is a year enough? When do you become sure enough that you have tried it long enough that you don't question that you moved?

15 months ago, I was unemployed in the wake of psycho Judy and the business model that spent money but developed no sales. My law school friend Michael wanted me to work with him setting up a tax preparation and [maybe] mortgage office near my apartment. He would front the money to set it up, I'd provide all the labor. I would only be paid for what I produced - a percentage of the tax prep profits, and a percentage of income from mortgages. So, we've lurched along now, with a hand written agreement that is totally non-specific as to WHEN profits would be analyzed and paid, and I've worked my tail off, even though I've harbored a grudge since before I said yes over his comment "I want to harness your brain and make money off of it."

I said yes to his proposal not because I wanted to, or because I thought it was the best opportunity, but because, frankly gentle reader, there was NOTHING ELSE TO CHOOSE FROM.

And here I am.

The mortgage business is, as Michael calls it, a commodity. All things devolve eventually into a commodity. And in a commodity market, there is nothing to distinguish the product; the only way to make income is to enhance volume. Thus, in my business, there is nothing to distinguish a user from one to the next - their choice is frequently made on the basis of a personal feeling, or arbitrary matters.

In other words, in the mortgage business, I am not unique.

There are other issues - but, the bottom line is that I struggle to make a living every month, and I just feel that I'm too damned old to have to fight to survive every month.

However, what else can I do that will support me while I try to re-create myself into an emerging marketplace, rather than being a competitor in a commodity market?

The program into which I intend to place myself is one which is truly emerging. The doctoral degree programs have only existed a few years, and I would be one of a very small number of people who would be out consulting with such credentials. It will take me three years or so to finish, and so my life needs to support me and the tuition and expenses during that period.

Since my entry into adulthood, I've never really looked at myself, until today, as being on the wrong end of the market curve. When I went to law school, I was cresting a wave or law school enrollments that broke onto the shores of humanity in the United States, swamping everyone with a glut of lawyers, all looking for some way to scratch out a living.

I started bankruptcy law just at a time that it was becoming automated; just as I was getting known and very good at it, Windows versions of the software became readily available, and anyone with a couple hundred bucks and a law license could be a "bankrtupcy lawyer."

I went into the mortgage business at the tail end of a mortgage broker's being able to well and truly accomplish something for a client; now, anyone with perfect credit can get a loan over the internet with very little effort. Mortgage brokers will fairly soon go the way of the buggy whip -

Do I want to ride that wave down to its predictable end?

Clearly, not.