Some thoughts before the last of 2009 dies away -
So many people have been making the statement that 2009 was a bad year - well, there have been about eight of those in a row. My 2009 was pretty darned good, all things considered - empirically, one might quarrel with that assessment, but I jettisoned a lot of baggage - both emotional and physical - which leaves me feeling much more stable and able than I was going into 2009.
I guess that if one feels 2009 was a bad year, one should review where they were a year ago and see if their understanding, their communication, their ability to focus on the important things in their lives improved at all.
Life just happens. How we deal with it happening is what sets individuals apart.
I spent just over three months of 2009 without fear or anger. Wow. That has been an amazing thing. I got to go to the inauguration of Barack Obama, and there I met two truly remarkable and awesome people. I met a magnificent guy, moved into an apartment that is small enough that I am living alone for the first time in my life. I share office space with an angel, and I have very little stress now.
I got to see my friend Matt four times? Five times? That was great. I "found" my best friend from law school after a ten year absence. I made friends with a guy I hardly knew in high school, with whom I have been carrying on a delightful, supportive and engaging correspondence. I was blessed to have my friendship with LEA restored. I have made friends with amazing ladies from the church, and gotten a lot closer with my Aunt Liz.
I have had six straight months of talking with my sister without recrimination or anger. SIX months. In a ROW.
I had the love and support of my friends. I have released a number of people in my life who were not productive, regardless of how it may have seemed from the outside.
My year was an endless experience of being appreciated, loved and cared about by my truly amazing circle of magnificent humans I am lucky enough to call friends. I hope I gave as good as I got, because each one of them is a treasure.
I gave up on following politics in the large part, and stopped looking for flaws in my thinking and character.
I got to see our city elect a moderated, unexciting, immensely competent and honest mayor - who just as an aside - is a lesbian. I am lucky enough to have met and talked to her several times, and she is the kind of political leader we need a few hundred dozen more of.
I'll say that, overall, 2009 was awesome. I'm no wealthier, no healthier, and still very single - but I don't see these as problems.
I still don't know exactly what I want to do with my life, but I'm getting a lot better at hitting the brakes when the runaway idea train picks up speed - and discerning what is motivating me and what it will benefit me.
When I wake up, it's going to be Friday. Many people are going to tell me that the day has some significance, but it's just a story that's completely made up. Other human cultures existing with us now honor other days as the start of the new calendar year, and who's to say that their selection of a "day" is right or wrong?
As I go from Thursday to Friday, I have on my mind that I am going to engage in a lot less omphaloskepsis and a whole lot more "getting the job done". I'm going to take care of myself as an investment, and I'm now utterly devoid of feeling sorry for myself.
Things will happen - flat tires, homophobia, events, maybe another hurricane or two. I will deal with them, without making those events "mean" something about me, or my past, or the people around me. I will continue to see and seek the best in people, and to understand that when they are displeasing, they're probably scared or alone or trapped in their own old beliefs.
I will continue to look every person in the eye, and smile at them to let them know that I see them, and that they're a human worthy of greeting, respect and acknowledgment.
I will recycle even more than I do now, and I will push processed foods further away from my table until they're gone entirely.
And I'm going to focus on the thing that matters most - being with the people in my life - and telling them how remarkable they are, how glad I am to be with them, and that I'll help them in any way I can. There really is no other point to living than that.
So, if you're reading this, you're connected to me in some fashion and I'm glad that we are. I know in my heart that your New Year will be everything that you can make of it. When you're feeling a bit like it's not working out, call me. I'll talk you down from your perch and assure you it's all working out just fine.
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