I have often questioned falling in love
I have derided it
I have intellectualized it
I have rejected it
I have rationalized it

For every time I have given my heart
to a beautiful young man
with a dazzling smile
and a sparkling personality

With whom I have shared moments
So Intimate
So loving
So delicious

Each time I have lost my heart -
He wasn't ready
He was unsure I was the one
He was not on the other side of my love

And I have ached
with longing
and with disappointment

I have been sure it would
have worked

If only I had been enough.

More.

If have often questioned falling in love.

Yet
I always do

For God has an endless supply
of beautiful young men.

August 18, 1998