Friday - more fun stuff

Well, we had four loan applications come in this week. If I close them all in August, I'll make several thousand dollars. One of them has to close next week, and I'll get paid $400 for it on Friday.

I'm scheduled to teach a mortgage class for $150 on Monday and Tuesday, which would prevent me from making the $400, and possibly part of the larger amount.

So .. I wrote them and said "can't do it." They're all freaking out.

However, they cancel classes on me at 5:00 the night before all the time. Thus, shouldn't I be able to cancel the day before as well?

Heh heh heh.

The other class, the QuickBooks class on Tuesdays, did not make enrollment, but they're not going to decide until MONDAY. Uh, hello?

I have a ton of work to complete this weekend, and more to do on Monday.

last night I went at 11 to go meet this massage guy who's SO fucking cute and SO sweet, and hung out with him until 1:00. I get into Ruby to come home, and I think "Philip locked the deadbolt." So, I get home and ...Philip locked the deadbolt.

So, of course, I couldn't get in. I hammered on the door, called him on his cell phone, beat on his window with my hand and with keys, tried to pry open my bedroom window, hammered on the door some more, sent him a text message ..

I thought I'd try to sleep in the car, but it was so hot I started to get sick.

So, I took my man clutch, which everyone makes fun of, and I crawled behind the bushes again, and I used the flat side of the man clutch and BEAT against the side of his bedroom window. He woke up. He sleeps like the dead, it seems.

Had a great Fabulair meeting today with a SQL architect; hoping to have movement there in a few days.

Time to make something to eat and watch a DVD. Later!

Thursday -

Been trying to write this post all day. Had a TON of work to do; including processing a bunch of mail and simple paperwork that just eats up one's brain.

I still have a TON of work to do tomorrow; will I get it all caught up? I just don't know. Part of that depends on how early Philip gets up in the morning.

I did make some good progress today; got three loans submitted for pre-qual. Talked to my Aunt Donna in Michigan about visiting her over the Labor Day weekend, and talked to my Aunt Liz in Florida about my dad's birthday party. Got everything mailed out that needed to go out today. Just have about ten hours of work to do tomorrow. And five hours to do it in.

Things are rocking and rolling at the church - holy cow! We have some explosive speakers lined up for September; we'll do some advertising for it starting this next month.

It's just amazing how smoothly things go when you're not having your brains cheated out. It's just like .. since you're not getting cheated, your energy reflects that you're being taken care of and the person that you're dealing with can sense that you're going to take care of them. It aggregates damned fast, too.

Have an awesome movie to watch tonight - "Fail Safe" from 1964.

This morning, I dropped a jar lid on the kitchen floor and it skittered away. I thought perhaps it had gone underneath the range, so I tried to put my hand under there - nothing. I pulled the range out, and HOLY COW - seven years' worth of dog hair. I about puked. Enough to knit a whole new dog.

So, that's been cleaned up.

I'm SO looking forward to having this office an OFFICE!!! Oh my GOD!

Tuesday - RTF!

Watching the shuttle return to flight this morning got me all choked up. It was so cool.

I decided this morning that I regretted never having had the chance to watch a live Apollo mission go up from Cape Canaveral. Of course, I didn't know then that I'd regret it later, but ..

Have a meeting with a client at 1:00, then it's off to the real estate school to see if they've been kind enough to cut me a check. I hope so, as I've been busting my butt to get all the course content re-written. My friend who's assembling it all for me is not happy about the amount of reformatting to be done. I, of course, am coming up with editorial changes and I haven't yet gotten the whole thing re-written yet.

More work.

This new desk is coming in HANDY! Already, even though it's just living in the dining room, I'm filling it up with stuff that has occupied space on the floor or elsewhere. Once I have a change to get it (the den) re-arranged, life will be much better, but .. there's a chance I'll be moving soon, and then .. what? Just perfect the environment here and have to start tweaking it at the new place, I guess.

Two new loans today already and CP is out hunting for more game to drive into the pen. Once here, I'll skin them and dress them up for use. It's an effective division of labor.

The married guy came over yesterday right after work. Oh my. He's something else again.

Spent the evening with my friend Mary from the Heights church, talking about all kinds of things. We had such a good time; we have about four more evenings of catch up conversation to handle.

Monday, Monday ver. 633.01

Good lord, did slaves row this hard?

I worked like a dog ALL day - how can one's body hurt from just sitting?

I have plans to meet with Mary - I haven't seen her in AGES - in about an hour. I think she has something she wants help with.

The beautiful 747-412 Megatop of Singapore Airlines 

Dreams -

I just had a dream that reminded me that it was the second I've had of this ilk recently.

Last night, I had a dream about a Singapore Airlines Megatop (I'll post a picture here in a minute) which, for the aviation enthusiasts would be a 747-412. The color scheme is dazzling, and very distinctive.

In this dream, I was in some place rather pastoral, like the area around Madisonville (Texas) which has gradually rolling hills. I was (in last night's dream) just there, and watching this airplane (which had just taken off from Houston's Geo. H. R. Bush Intercontinental Airport) trying to climb to altitude. The #2 engine (closest to the airplane on the side I could see as the plane flew from right to left in front of me) was suffering from compressor stalls - which is a condition where the engine's airflow is restricted, and it's backfiring just like a car would. While I was standing there watching, a big hunk of the #2 engine came off and the plane continued on.

I had forgotten all about this when I awoke this morning.

This afternoon, I dreamt that I was invited to MV's "ranch," which was in the same pastoral setting, for New Year's Eve. I had some man with me (who was cute) that I was taking along for reasons not clear, but as we approached the entrance to the place, he grabbed my hand (in a weird but cool way) and we began to say our greetings to everyone. Just as I was introducing him to some of the friends of MV, the same (looking) Singapore 747 was trying to climb across the sky. It also was having compressor stalls in the #2 engine. Then, the #2 engine exploded. The plane was still trying to climb, and big hunks of the fuselage started to come off, and they were landing all around me. After a very big piece landed (with very Hollywood effect) right near me, the entire airplane broke apart, and pieces fell like hail all around us.

Then, I poured bleach all over the people that were there that I cared about.

Now, if you have an idea what this all MEANS .. by all means let me know.

Friday night thoughts

Taught today for the real estate school - it was a good class; I was scheduled to teach tomorrow and Sunday as well, and should have picked up a check today - however.

They're not well organized over there.

The flurry over my copyrighting my ideas and presentations for new classes is not yet over; it's more like a lull in the storm. Or perhaps the eye thereof. However, I proceed undaunted.

Having the weekend suddenly freed up is a good thing; I can focus on getting all caught up. I have the book ready to go into the binder for tomorrow, and will get up, make coffee, put on NPR and start three-hole punching. Once Philip gets up, it will be time to go graze at the complimentary buffet at the leasing office.

Anyway. I kept forgetting to take my medication today, which is weird, considering that I was rushing from sugar intake last night until .. oh, 6:00 this morning.

Okay, it's almost time for me to go horizontal. More later.

Jarod from Oklahoma 

Marc in San Antonio 

Back from Dallas

Back from Dallas and picking up my desk. I spent nearly $75 on gas to pick up a desk that I bought for $51.00. Ah, well. It was fun. The drive up (with Chuck) was fun, hanging out with Susan was fun, looking at Jaguars was fun, hanging out with Larry was fun, driving back this morning with Chuck was fun. Now, I'm here - have to unpack, have dinner with Donna in an hour at Ninfa's, and teaching tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday.

My cell phone blew up on the drive to Dallas - I mean, totally deadified itself. The Sprint guys were baffled. One idiot suggested that the tiny magnet on the back of the battery case had somehow blown up the memory in the phone.

I just love people who don't have a clue.

Anyway, my phone and I are very close and, again, I can't find anything on the Sprint system that I like well enough to spend money on that isn't under $500, so I'm buying another one. On eBay, just like the rest. I'll have it next week, but in the meantime, I'm off the voice matrix.

Here are some pictures of some boys I'm chatting with on the internet lately.

What the Divo IS

Googlism for: divo

divo is the digital video option for onyx 2 & origin 2000 and replaces the sirius board
divo is the digital video option for sgi onyx 2 & sgi origin 2000 and replaces the sirius board
divo is a patented software application suite that provides secure television quality video on top of static web pages instantly
divo is the quality of our products
divo is glad to offer you the followings services
divo is a server
divo is developed especially for control over mobile phones in hands free systems;
divo is uit’s complete software suite to enable video stored on cd
divo is echter meer dan een damesploeg in 2de provinciale
divo is not to sell any inventory free of paisiello's security interest without paisiello's express permission
divo is able to control bottom dead center in microns at each station
divo is fully voice controlled
divo is a brisbane based solo artist who is currently in studio recording the very first album to be released through funk factory records
divo is working properly on my onyx2 re
divo is committed to providing the best products to our customers
divo is currently engaged in many research projects as an associate researcher for the university of central florida
divo is lagging
divo is now situated
divo is dunedin’s community
divo is a digital video input/output board for the onyx2
divo is specialized in making shirts
divo is generally referred to as a dikro
divo is due for review
divo is another thing altogether
divo is at the end of the long distance line
divo is not ruled by multinationals
divo is 26
divo is a 5 year old "long
divo is to pray for forgiveness of past misdeeds and for spiritual strength and wisdom for the coming
divo is a belter who can sing songs by sisqo
divo is using their interpersonal skills to get things that the other teams could not
divo is a totally non
divo is ook vertegenwoordigd in de vlor
divo is member of codis
divo is
divo is the needlepoint pillow of lister and made by petie that i won in the raffle
divo is back
divo is it a contracted or otc fight? how long did it take?
divo is the place for a fine €40 meal
divo is often heard
divo is currently being prodded and poked as his health requirements are being looked over
divo is on this same ship
divo is one thing
divo is tasked with that responsibility
divo is on the same block as the holster
divo is out
divo is born” and noted people were demanding “bread and
divo is responsible for maintaining ccol’s and will sign
divo is can't brazen
divo is planning to launch soon new production lines for bottling soft drinks and beer
divo is not entered in the current competition
divo is a video option for onyx2 graphics
divo is the last element in the sync chain
divo is edited and published by mr
divo is and what
divo is kronk

Why do they want me to put titles when they don't display?

So, I just hate being taken advantage of. REALLY hate it.

I had my meeting with the real estate school today, and she wants me to revise her course books, create a new course and the book to go with it, write a proposal to the state for her .. for free. She says that the money is to be made teaching the classes.

At $20 an hour. I don't think so.

Been trying to get an appointment with the clinic over this blood sugar stuff for HOURS. It's not working. I'm now on hold with someone who says she's going to make me the appointment (the furthest that I've gotten so far.)

Okay, now it's time to dig into tax return amendments. Lucky!

Sunday evening cable

Nothing like being middle aged, overweight and having to crawl around on the floor to run cable. I had to put the satellite receiver into the stereo rack, and needed to put another power strip in for the computers. Both in limited space, both on the floor, and both behind a big stack of crap. But, I got it done.

The upstairs neighbor has been pounding something on the floor for two hours. I'm about to fax in my second noise complaint of the evening.

This morning was three hundred forty. Church was great, then back to a meeting to place advertising for the new mortgage business. Then, home to work on the jillion emails that needed sending, the other stuff, and .. cabling.

Trying to teach myself runes - since I have a bag of them. I need to look at the I Ching, also - I've had that kit for years.

Dreams in cotton, leather and suede, posed on aqua leather. 

Saturday night hissies

Mikey had a dream about me this afternoon (while reclined and slumbering.) In this dream, I was thin and trim, and I was in a relationship with the actor who plays Angel. Woof! More fun details; this actor was working in a 99cents only store (apparently as some manager) and the employees in the store only got paid if there were customers in the store buying things. One went through the back door of the store and it was a secret passageway into some hoity-toity hot spot cocktail bar, that Mikey found quite appealing in his dream.

Today, my class was a train wreck. Here's what I wrote to the administrator of the college:

As you were there, it is redundant to re-visit that no student was on-time; that the bulk of the students were 28 minutes late and arrived in a group, and that a further student arrived at 10:35. I re-started the class at approximately 10:30, and, as you experienced, only one student was paying attention to my presentation; the bulk of the students, including the entire late arriving group, were engaged in personal conversations.

Just as you were leaving, I made the sharp remark to the group that it seemed they were not aware that I was in front of the room. This remark, as you saw, did not penetrate the shield of indifference that they had put up.

After you left, the final student arrived. The class had finished the in-class exercise that I had given out, and they were continuing to engage in the indifferent behavior that you saw me experiencing. At that point, however, an air of derisiveness had entered into the room.

In that moment, I was certain that no further action on my part would attain their participation in today's class. I went through the four in-class quizzes that were scheduled for today, providing very little explanation of the material. I covered the essay portion in a similar, truncated fashion. One student, the ringleader of the indifferent behavior, asked me if I was going to explain the material to them, and I declined, pointing them to the book or a dictionary if they had questions.

I dismissed the class extremely early.

None but one of the earliest arriving students apologized for their behavior, expressed regret or an interest in re-starting the class to gain something of it. They filed out, silent, picking up the hand-outs that were scheduled, and didn't begin speaking until they were out the door.

I did not at any time engage in emotional or inappropriate behavior, but I did end the class telling them that they had been given the time and attention they had shown me.

After two weeks of this studied and intentional indifference, lack of preparedness (most of the students did not bring their course books) and complete lack of attention to the material being presented, I chose this course of action.

My good friend with whom I've taught about fifteen years wrote me back tonight telling me she didn't think she would have lasted a half hour in that environment. That makes me feel better, as a number of my friends have counseled that I should have stuck it out or chosen some other course.

But, I digress.

This morning's blood sugar number was four hundred ten. I can tell it's still very high, as I'm having trouble breathing, and my chest is very tight. Last night's dinner, the weirdness of the former student coming to my apartment at about 8:00 running from a police chase (he had another hit and run) and such, followed by ice cream with Philip at about midnight did me no favors, I'm quite sure.

Anyway, I must to bed that I can rise and go to church in the morning. I'll post a nifty new picture of the actor that Mikey has dreamed I had hooked up with.

Today = 343. This seems to be a plateau. I can definately tell I'm losing body size, though.

Have two meetings today - or three. I need to re-open outlook and see. Have a ton of work to do as well; tax extensions are running down, and I'm beating people to get their materials in to me so I can do the work.

Watched a movie on Netflix last night - boy, that didn't work out. The main character is a gay, closeted construction worker who is in love with his best friend. Blah, blah, he comes out to the best friend on a television program, his parents throw him out, the best friend accuses him (rightly) of trying to sabotage his girlfriend relationship, and then beats him with a pipe. And leaves with the girlfriend, who intervenes just as the best friend was about to kill our central figure with the pipe.

Yikes!

It seems that N8 may want to get together to do something on Saturday!

Hump Day Contemplations

Philip is still engaged in this "seminar," which seems not to involve his employment ID and staying out overnight. Good on him!

I'm just wiped out today. Why? My number this morning was 355. Urgh. I have a ton of things to catch up on today.

Won my desk (which is in Dallas) today for $51.00. Now, I have to go up there and get it and figure out some place to KEEP it until Philip moves on.

My class last night went so great - one of the students found the data file that's in the book, so I was finally able to give them something to DO.

I think I need to just work on some simple things and see if I start feeling better here in a little bit.

Tuesday - work and meetings consume my brain

Meeting with CP to work on our mortgages in an hour; organizing things around the office until then.

Had an email note from Philip yesterday morning telling me that he'd be in a seminar downtown, and likely away from the apartment in the evening. Then, he didn't come home last night. Personally, I think he's getting his groove on with the girl he went to see on Saturday.

An interesting note from N8 yesterday; he resurfaced after having been totally in hiding since telling me that he wanted to explore his sexuality. Seems his parents' home has been foreclosed and all of his stuff is gone. While I sympathize with his situation, it does suggest that he REALLY went underground after busting loose with a revelation about his sexual fantasies. I mean, how could you miss being evicted?

Buying a desk today - it's in Dallas, and it won't come in for another couple of weeks when I go up there with a friend and a truck and pick it up. I'm trying to conceptualize how to arrange the furniture here in the den for the best arrangement.

I really need to get all of the office stuff into this one room, and have it readily accessible. I don't have time to work on that today, but this week.

Gay panic defensiveness

An interesting Sunday. Got up and my blood sugar was 343. Good lord, when will this abate!? Drove down to the church, got set up, finished outlining my presentation, did that whole thing. It was good.

On the way home, I resolved to have Ruby cleaned up. While there, there's a public internet terminal, so I checked my email. My client from Friday night had written to me .. let's just copy his message here, shall we?

"Hey man I need to ask you a question, But I do not intend to offend you at all.

When you hugged me goodbye yesterday you added that little extra grab at the end and it threw me off. I just want to know if you are gay. If you are not then I do not mean to make you mad it just seemed a little strange. It made me a little uncomfortable and I did not know what to think. If you are gay then that is cool too. I just want you to know that I am not and we can still be friends, visit, hang out, whatever.

Please do not get mad at me for this email. In my opinion friends say what it on their mind. Talk to you soon.

John"

Okay, so on the way out the door, I put my arm around his SHOULDERS and gave him a squeeze. Around the shoulders. Said "nice to see ya!"

That's it.

How do we get "I was rattled by that?"

Gay panic.

So, was it my behavior, or his interpretation that created this gay panic? Is it his own internalized homophobia? (yes, I'm saying he's a fag. He's so far back in the closet that he's hiding in a trap door behind the cedar.)

So, this afternoon, I'm working on getting some things done around the house. A quiet day. Have a packed up week lined up, so I need the time to get caught up and have some peace.

Ruby is driving like a champ. Mikey (after all of the people who said they'd help me do it) re-assembled the 1998 Buick website (which I purloined three years ago) and I intend to deploy it on the drdivo.com website (which is under major reconstruction.) I need to have the little niggly dings taken out of her, and have her thoroughly detailed and waxed (maybe next weekend, hmm?) And I have to have the stereo fixed.

I am four weeks from Philip's return to MSU and having my apartment empty again. He's been a nice man to have around - polite, very interesting, has lots of things to talk about that are engaging. He's so incredibly beautiful that it's unsettling.

When he leaves, I'm making some major revisions to the Casita here. First, I'm converting this den into a home OFFICE - taking down the bed. I'm going to then take my platform bed that I've been sleeping on 15 years (I bought it just before I met Jimmy) and I'm going to use the full sized mattress and box spring from this four poster bed, and buy a new (inexpensive) bed frame to use in the purple Divo bedroom. I'm then buying an old Steelcase type desk (from the 1950s, go figure) and re-arranging this den into a functional office.