Lockheed Constellation and Super Constellation Survivors

Airline History Museum at Kansas City

Jennifer Government: NationStates

AIRLINERS.NET - Bringing Online Aviation To New Heights

Douglas J. Hord

FABULAIR

The BEST thing! After six years of trying, I was FINALLY able to register fabulair.com today! I've been wanting to make a creative, functional, "paper" airline website for years - back in 1998, I got an email from my employer (Big Fag) and it was a scream. I expanded on it, turned it into something .. and, the web domain was taken.

I have had a placeholder website for years - http://www.geocities.com/paxton006/FABULAIR.htm

I'm going to be working on this very soon - it's going to ROCK. I found out today that my geocities webpage is #1 on yahoo for AIRLINES! It's #1 on yahoo for Fabulair, and Google pulls it up, too. 708 hits since I put it up, 53 in November, 2003.

Anyway, off to do some more reading of "The Body of Jonah Boyd." It just turned for the better.

Ah, a Thursday - the day before Friday, and the day before the weekend. I am to hear from Richard in a short while about whether I can expect to get paid this week - and how much, and I was just told by Rick that the hours here are 8 to 5. Uh-huh.

And, I still am scrambling to figure out how to pay rent and utilities - and then, there's the car payment due in just over a week. AND ..

So, this is starting to irritate me. Why did I think I could work for/with this guy?

Ugh.

Nicole called last night - a number of people at CPH are lining up to create an insurgent backlash against the "powers that be" there - she asked if I wanted to play. YOU BET! How fun is THAT?

I had a dream last night (which reminds me, I should write to Chris about it) that somehow, an unpubished script/score from a very famous author (actually, it was a 400 year old British author, I think, but who cares?) that we put on at CPH as a world premiere. We had spruced up the theater, replaced the carpeting and the seats, everything that Nicole, Nancy and I ever talked about. We had a full house, and ran it for MONTHS. It was cool, this dream.

I walked out on stage for a curtain speech, and it was like "I'm baack!"

Rick is meeting with the guy that we're hiring to replace the other Nicole.

Lunch with Jeffrey today.

Mikey wants to meet earlier tonight to work out, which could be good for me, since I have to work on the tax returns that are waiting for me. I have to extend my friend Scooter, and go up to Austin to pick up his tax work, and get started on THAT. (sighs)

After the weekend, Guy is going to work with Mikey and me to develop a work-out plan and an eating plan for the next two months. He used to be heavier than I ever have been, and he's down to about 210, but very beefy, with big arms and chest - I'm excited about that!

Okay, back to working on the business plan.

Another day with rain in the forecast.

Lance and I are about to run out for Thai buffet - hopefully, they'll have tapioca today - then, back to work on the business plan, then home to work out with Mikey, Guy is coming over for Bad Movie Night, and I have to work on this loan application for MJV's tax scofflaw client. MJV is already trying to think of how he can keep ALL of the money on the deal - I know how he thinks after all these years.

Well, my next talk in church is "The Inevitability of NOW" - focusing on the impossibility of actually being in the past or the future; from a physics standpoint, we can only be where we are right now. So, I'm back in the swirl, but this time, probably for different reasons.

Lovely. I find out last night that my new employer association can't pay me the promised monthly sum, and also, the one I work with every day is sulking in my general direction because I wasn't here this morning at 8:30. You see, HE was late (nearly the identical amount of time I was) and so he was expecting me to be here to "cover" things.

I had asked for a partial check for this morning, and Richard said he'd send it with Rick, who is now (I assume) withholding it as a sign of his displeasure.

I have a new tax client to meet at the apartment at 12:30, hopefully he'll show up.

We're supposed to have some word on whether we have our sales presentation tomorrow (the first one - the one we've been waiting on for weeks) but, that information has not yet come through. Frankly, if I have to make a living on the side from home, I don't know why I should bother coming in here and giving my time away.

Rick has previously told me that he feels I should have "something at risk" for my participation in this business; of course, he lives rent-free, expense-free, grocery-free, medical-free and everything else free on Richard's back - he has NOTHING at risk - I have to generate everything for myself each month "on God's good humor" as I put it.

(insert comment about self-righteous, priviledged Republicans here)

Well!

Independence Day - and I was BRILLIANT in church this morning! I had my epiphany about 11:00 last night while walking the dogs - everything I was experiencing was about my "sentence" (the Landmark description for the self-definition that one lives ones truth out of.) I was experiencing a lot of swirl, but I just wasn't getting it until Friday and Saturday, when I had all that STUFF going on with getting paid, and people showing up, etc.

I didn't do but the roughest of outlines on what I had to say, pulled about six quotes together from A Course in Miracles, the bible, the Science of Mind and Troward's essays.

Got to church about 9:30 - the Lutherans across the street had taken over the ENTIRE parking lot. Parked around the corner, was the first and only one there until about 10:00, by which time I had set everything up. We only had six today; but, I was BRILLIANT. I had EVERYONE talking, asking questions, posing situations, giving examples. It was GREAT. Afterward, Rosita (one of the other board members) said that she was so enjoying the little environment that we have created that she hated missing a Sunday! She loves the conversation, and what we're working on!

After church, drove home, changed, walked the mutts, and drove out to Mikey's to have lunch (yum!) and see Spiderman 2. That was fun. Then, a quick visit to Jarred (who was swamped - the only bartender working) and then to R&R's for dinner and QAF, which was very very good. After that, I scrubbed Ruby down at a coin-op car wash, drove home, wiped down the car, walked the dogs and now .. hopefully, I can get some sleep!

Tomorrow, I've decided to focus on getting some of the integrity back - waxing the car, grooming the dogs, working on some document projects .. that will feel just great.

I think I'm losing it. I know I'm having an anxiety attack - wow. A long time since I've had to deal with one of those. We interviewed two people today to replace Nicole, who just quit to take a job with a much higher base and health insurance. The afternoon was totally absorbed with that. We went to lunch at Miyako (which I hate) for Nicole's going away meal, and sometime around then, I started feeling like I was coming un-done. By the time we got to the second interview, I started having white spots, and feeling very light headed. My vision started to narrow, and I thought I was having a stroke or something.

After we over-interviewed the woman who doesn't fit into our team or need for an hour, we went back and talked to Lance about compensating him for July - he was fine with that.

And I didn't get paid today. Okay, I'm all about trusting in the Universe, and that things will work out for me without drama - but what the fuck is going on?

Was talking to Guy today, and learned through him that Jaecub (who earlier today told me that he was too busy this weekend to even think about meeting up with me) had asked him if they could get together this weekend. Okay, I can handle that.

But, why did I get stood up tonight by not one, but TWO guys?

So, I'm sure that everything has something to do with my Sunday sermon - "Declare your Independence" but .. uh, could we have a little revelation here? In a big fat hurry?

The Mormon (whom guy has taken to calling "the moron") has backed off about a country mile. Which is fine, when that boy busts out of the closet, it's going to be MESSY. However, I'm done supporting his LSAT effort.

I have to really focus on preparing some tax returns and getting all of my side job integrity into place tomorrow. For one thing, I'm going to have to figure out SOME way to cover my obligations for the 1st, and for another thing, I have to make sure I don't have ANY integrity issues outstanding in order that I can try to move through this.

So, tomorrow is going to be a VERY busy day for me.

Friday before the 4th of July. Nearly three full days of R&R - which include cleaning house, catching up on side work, grooming the dogs (oh, my - I MUST do that) and being profound in church on Sunday. It's going to be great.

"Fuzzy" (the man from Oklahoma who wanted to move in) has again dropped off the map after my telling him that I was not interested in hosting/supporting someone again. He backed WAY off and said that he only wanted to meet and get to know each other. But, he hasn't been calling since.

The Mormon is continuing to withdraw; which is fine. I'm no longer throwing baggage for other people. The 72 hours of peacefulness starts in just a few hours. I'm quite excited about it.

"Hot Pants" (as my friend Yvette used to call him) is dating someone - I hear through the grapevine. Ah, well. He was something when we were together, but .. I'm not throwing baggage for other people.

On Sunday, I'm speaking about "Declaring Your Independence." I'm about 30% through designing my presentation - I have some readings from Troward and from Emerson and Holmes to dig out - and I'm probably going to find something out of "The Course in Miracles." Basically, I'm going to talk about releasing the past - from a quantuum physics and mental standpoint -

I wonder if I clean up the dogs and the apartment, if my allergies will stop plauging me?

Going on Safari Saturday night - just for a quick "Jarred" hit .. nothing expected, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I could say a lot more about how crappy men are in general, but I'm sort of in mid-swirl with "declaring my independence," and I'm not clear how it's all going to shake out. Just a lot of emotional noise to be sifted through.

Ah, Tuesday. I may actually have a night OFF tonight. Our business meeting for tonight appears to have been rescheduled for Thursday night, and I could do something radical. Like trying to get caught up on my side work.

I'm the only one here in the office this morning so far - I just made some coffee, and I have to crack open our business plan and start working on it.

Class last night - again, I was left with the feeling that I've moved past the people who are around me - that they're at a level I was more than a year ago. It's kind of cool, but weird at the same time.

Everything that we were discussing about Troward last night made perfect sense to me; I was making connections on how the material inter-related, and the other people in the class were making connections about the material itself, and asking questions about how it related to basic concepts. It's hard to explain.

Fuzzy [the David from Oklahoma who wanted to come be my "house boy" more than a month back] called and IMd yesterday; seems he has another housing crisis. He called again last night after class, blah, blah, blah. I just know if I let him through the door, he's going to be "sticky."

Another day of scheduled rain .. my poor car. I need to make a run to Wally World at lunch to pick up more dog food and a few other things.

Well, I must off to my business plan..

Another rainy day - thundershowers all day. I don't remember this many consecutive days of rain and clouds since I've lived here.

I've got a slow start on today, for sure.

Missed a phone call from T last night - I can't imagine what he was calling about so late.

Had an email from the mormon last night asking me if I thought he was gay. As in "are you hitting on me?" I think I gave him both barrels. I didn't read his response this morning, I'm not sure I care to. I never did answer the question, either.

Saw "The Stepford Wives" last night with Nicole. That was fun.

Okay, I'm late, and I should already be in the car driving to work, so I'm off. Someone build me an ark with leather seats, a great stereo and a supercharger?

Another rainy day - have we woken up in Seattle somehow? Strange. It rained like crazy last night, and then overnight, and then this morning again ..

Worked out with Mikey last night for a while - did about five minutes on the stair master, and about DIED. I was so wiped out last night after he left that I sat down and fell asleep. For two hours.

Hm. Youngsters, don't let yourselves get out of shape. It's too hard to get it back.

Seeing a movie with Nicole tonight - "The Stepford Wives." "Farenheit 9/11" comes out this weekend, and I really want to see that. Michael the Peeler comes in tomorrow, and will be here until Sunday.

Got my hair cut today - YAY! I've spent my day reading articles to support our marketing effort, and now I'm about to pick up a book and start plowing through it to the same end. I have to start doing my reading for class on Monday, and I promised the Mormon that I would go through the Emerson quote I sent him and explain what the heck it was I was trying to say .. more work!

And, I have to run by the child care place, pick up their taxes and work on them this weekend. T is changing my spark plugs for me Saturday, and the parade is Saturday night. I've invited R&R to join us for the parade, and there's a chance they may actually do that.

I have two netflix movies that I haven't tried to watch, and another that should be there today. Yikes! And tomorrow night, a board meeting - so no movie watching then.

Somehow, this will all come together ..

Jejune. Wow. Class tonight was awesome. I hadn't read a THING (which I will touch on in a moment,) but still got a LOT out of the class using my tried-and-true approach of scanning ahead to the next passage, quickly reading the material we're about to cover, and then synthesizing with the ongoing conversation to say something brilliant.

Which I'm not committed to, in this pursuit, but it worked for tonight. Jesse (the minister) came up after the class was over, gave me a hug and said he was REALLY glad that I was in the class. That was cool.

And, tonight, three minutes before the class ended, I was able to find my reply to David (the Mormon's) relation of his spiritual beliefs (which are .. well. Yikes.)

I tried to track Jarred down today to encourage him to call Maureen the immigration attorney; without success. I left him a VM on the placebo number; perhaps he'll actually retrieve it.

Came home from my second effort at finding Jarred to find a whiny email from David (the Mormon) about my complaint yesterday at his statement that we could no longer hang out, only study. I was feeling all supercharged from my class, so I wrote QUITE the reply back. We'll see what that generates.

I've committed to starting walking with Lisa in the morning at 7:00 - yeek. And, tomorrow after work, I'm walking again with Mikey.

About that whole "declare your independence" thing for the 4th of July "talk," I'm cooking up some great ideas. Tonight's class was so LIBERATING. We distinguished that it's okay to have random disaster/illness/whatever fantasies - it's just like watching a scary movie. You can enjoy it, and then just shrug it off - it doesn't mean you've created that as reality.

And, we talked about being in the moment with things - like new relationships and new experiences - not mapping out the possible scenarios and pre-judging how things are going. About a world view that is either hostile (my heritage) or friendly (my developing trend.) It was just .. wow. Validating. I felt like I was again on the right path.

Earlier today, I started feeling like this new gig might run out of money before we hit some success, but after class tonight, I was able to put that all away.

More tomorrow .. hasta

Monday, Monday -

Had an interesting email from the Mormon (David) last night - he's no longer able to "hang out" with me, as his schedule is too busy. Probably for the best; he's going to be one tortured puppy.

And David (fuzzy) called several times Friday, looking to be rescued. No return phone number, and he stopped calling after about 15 minutes. Not persistent.

Got the kitchen swamped out, which was good, got all the ceramic ducks that Jenny gave me five years ago off the patio this morning, and went food shopping with Mikey on Saturday - blew the entire contents of my wallet at the Wal-Mart. So, my refrigerator is FULL of food, which is a wild rarity. Tomorrow morning, I'm scrubbing the bathroom, and then my apartment will be mostly clean. For a few days.

Michael the peeler comes in this week to work for Pride weekend. I've invited Larry down from Dallas, but we'll see where that goes.

I'm mentally preparing for my talk in two weeks about declaring one's independance. What should I declare my independance from? Hm.

Had a young man from Brazil send me an email a few weeks ago - he says he likes me; works for .. well, the big, nasty construction contractor that's in the news so much lately. Wants to come for a visit. Seems needy, but nice. Asked me if I'd help pay for the ticket over the weekend.

Uh, no.

I'm feeling blase this morning for no apparent reason. Just not my usual, skippy self. I'll survive.

Another rainy day in the sub-tropics. Not that I mind. I love it. Actually, we get more rain here (I've heard) than they do in Seattle, we just get sunshine in between.

I'm tired today so far. I have a few things to do, but nothing earth-shattering. Lance is cranking on our presentations, Rick is in a seminar until lunch, and it's very quiet here today. I have seminars tomorrow and Friday all day for my loan officer renewal. Oh boy.

I made David his own sub-folder in my Outlook yesterday. He's one of the few who gets to have all of his email archived. What does this mean? Nothing, of course. He writes me usually twice a day, and is very playful. Right now, he's engaged in an ongoing discussion with me about religious views, trying to draw out my thoughts.

At least he's interested enough to ask questions.

Walked on the treadmill last night with Mikey again. Had a few minutes at home, and then had to dash down to a board meeting in Clear Lake for the church. So, my house is a wreck, and I'm pooped. =) At least I have this Saturday "off."

Meeting with an attorney to help her craft a petition against the attorney general for mis-reporting of child support information on the credit bureaus. Interesting concept.

I could go home and lay down. Business meeting at 6:30 tonight .. maybe I'll try to sneak out of here a little early.

Another rainy Houston morning - it looks like it's going to storm again. The weather predicts that we'll have weather like this all week.

Rick is out this morning, and Lance and I have to create some metrics for our marketing. I have to terminate a guy this morning, and I don't know him very well, so I don't know how he's going to react. This makes me a little edgy.

Had my first "Roots of Science of Mind" class last night - okay, who knew there were so many people pursuing the Science of Mind teaching? 17 people in this class, which is an ADVANCED class. Last night, we were reading and evaluating Ralph Waldo Emerson, which is enough to make one's brain sit up and say "wait! huh?"

So, I have a load of reading to do to get caught up, I have a sermon to prepare for next Sunday, and board meetings tonight and tomorrow night. Thursday night, Guy is coming over to watch DVDs, and David is coming over Saturday evening.

Now that David has a computer, I'm hearing from him two or more times a day. This is a good thing.

I have to get some contracts written for Scott today, and I have to get some lawsuits written for Mitch soon. Of course, he hasn't quite gotten me all the details yet, but he's pressing for me to finish the writing. Okay, sure.

Bleh at the nasty office coffee this morning.

Nicole invited me to a movie last night - boy, it was tempting to skip driving ALL the way to the north part of Spring. Now that gas is so expensive, I'm driving more than ever. Bizarre.

I feel another poem coming on; this one based on the writings of Emerson (be yourself, be true to yourself, and don't try to conform) and romance in general. I'll let you see it when I get it done.