Can you believe THIS?

just in case you were looking here for something...

2010-11-13T19:26:00.000-06:00

it's all moved over to www.drdivo.com

You can still follow me in a reader or RSS feed, but the posts here are now over there and the new posts will be over there and not over here.

Claro?

Bird brains - or, the second bird trial

2010-09-01T16:02:00.001-05:00

Following the defeat of the Bellairean Bird Brain, I figured I was free from big bird for quite some time.

Oh, how foolish I was!

Only a few short weeks after the Bird Bath in Bellaire, I was, again, MINDING MY OWN DAMNED BUSINESS....

All of these bird stories start with an anxious, breathless, panicked phone call.

Anxious, breathless, panicked phone calls convey several things:

A lack of prior planning or consideration as to outcomes
The failure of efforts based on bluster, bluff, aggressiveness or combativeness to resolve a situation
An ongoing effort to skirt rules, laws, regulations, common decency or just plain politeness that comes to disaster
Running home to Momma to have her fix it all by defending your side without question

Back in the days before Caller ID and wireless phones, answering the phone was always an adventure.

"Hello, this is Doug Hord" (I answer the phone in the same way my dad does, but somehow without his commanding, confident tone in my own judgment of such things).

(insert shrieking, panicked, breathless verbiage from recent bird shop client)

"Now, , just calm down - 'WHAT' happened?"

Something along the lines of her having been sued in small claims court for ownership or damages for a bird she had rescued (on TeeVee!) from the roof of a building near the Houston Galleria.

I was then regaled with the extensive, vile, rich history of the Plaintiff's perfidy. It seems that not only was he a bird smuggler, but also a card sharp, a villian, a Communist, a wife-beater, and he didn't timely change his motor oil.

In the opinion of my client, "He needs killin'" (as we say here in Texas).

Let's skip the pre-trial discussions (in which my client explained at every turn WHY he needed killin'), and skip right to the trial, in the courtroom of the Right Honorable Justice of the Peace (Precinct 5, place 2) Wm. Yeoman.

I have enormous respect for Judge Yeoman; in my many visits to his courtroom, I've only known him to be skilled, clear, polite, respectful and able to withstand the tirades of those who expect his courtroom to be far more Judge Judy.

Our trial setting was for the late shift - we were called hours in advance to advise us that the court would have limited seating room, as so many inquiries from "interested parties" had been received.

Uh, what was that?

I had, as witnesses, only my client, her manservant and myself. What interested parties?

It turns out that there's an enormous sub-rosa community of bird lovers who communicate via tom-tom signals, and they were (basically) ALL flying in to watch the epic battle of the two most powerful forces in Southeast Texas Bird-dom.

The issue at hand was, simply, this:

My woman, being the pre-eminent bird lady in the area, received a call from a distressed bird person who had observed a bird of the exotic variety on top of a tree/bush/aerial/roof of a commercial building. No amount of persuasion nor shiny object was luring the bird down from its aerie.

An emergency situation! They fired up the Isuzu pickup and dashed over with bird toys, lures and a ladder.

And, they recovered the bird. ON TEEVEE!

Through the magic of television, the progenitor of bird-dom's Dark Side learned that this bird had been rescued, believed it to be his (without having identified the bird, seen the bird other than on his 27" CRT television set, or inquired of my client) and brought suit in small claims to recover the bird's VALUE.

You could think of this as a "cash grab".

Again, we were commanded to produce the egg laying vermin in open court.

Things moved fairly swiftly in this courtroom drama. The Plaintiff laid on his case - primarily grounded in that my client was dishonest, lies, smoked filterless cigarettes and drank straight bourbon, kept her thumb on the scale and generally was a Loose Woman. And, she had his bird.

His bird was of one of the sexes, her bird was (she testified) of the other.

There were, no kidding, seventy-five plus people in the courtroom. It was JAMMED. Everyone wanted to pitch in and testify (for one side, or both), even though not one of them knew a damned thing about that particular bird's identity. They did wish, though, to carry on at great length about the looseness of my client, and/or the evilness and bird snatchery of the Plaintiff.

Cutting through all of this like a gentle but firm laser was Judge Yeoman, who indicated that he'd consulted the Veterinary College up to the A&M, had learned that only a surgical sexing could positively identify the bird, told those assembled that smart people would have their birds microchiped or tatooed, and sent everyone home with their licks.

Meaning, my woman didn't recover attorney's fees from the probably asset-less Plaintiff. My fee's being paid was now sketchier than the first gig.

However, the Plaintiff complimented me as we left the courthouse, and asked if I'd work for him in the future.

Mercifully, the State Bar rules would frown on such an arrangement. I was off the hook - temporarily.

For, bad things happen in threes, you know - and the THIRD bird trial was a mess of epic proportions.

Come back to read about trial number THREE and my being called out as the bird lawyer in court on a case NOT involving birds.

Story time!

2010-08-30T22:52:00.000-05:00

I was thinking over the weekend - 'cause, you know, I do that.

I was thinking about all the "stories" I've spun over the years - to the amusement and hilarity of many, and how, as I've moved along life's path, many of these stories have come to be lost - and most, if not all, of my current friends are without connection to my amusement and tumultuous past.

So, now that I've participated in the brothers Koch lid-blowing party, I'm going to spend a few days regaling my readers with some "stories".

We'll start with one of the best - how I became known as "The Bird Lawyer."

There were three bird cases in all. Each was sillier and worse than the previous. There is something to be said for the value of the moniker "Bird Brain".

If you know me at all, you know that my best stories all begin in the same way .. "There I was, minding my OWN business, when.."

I was, quite contentedly, wallpapering my very first solo office one afternoon - a lovely and gentle pink cloth paper with vertical stripes. Wearing my only suit, I was happily and quietly applying paste to the back of the paper. The phone rang.

Don't most dramatic or horrifying stories start with the phone ringing?

It was Mary, she with whom I had attended law school and who was now a successful defense attorney.

Mary, you see, had become fond of birds. BIG birds. She started out with a big gray evil fucker, who screamed bloody murder and crapped all over the kitchen floor. I couldn't, for the life of me, understand it.

She had had a panicked call from the woman from whom she was buying birds. This lady owned one of the larger bird retail shops in Houston - one that continues to this day.

The bird shop owner had been served with a court order to release property characterized as stolen - one very large, one-eyed macaw. She wanted representation, and Mary, citing her relationship with the bird shop owner, said she couldn't handle it. Or I owed her a favor. Or something.

It being a stolen property recovery hearing, the event was to be the very next day. The issuing agency was the City of Bellaire PD, so this shindig would be hosted in the City's municipal courtroom, which was mere blocks from my (now unpapered) office.

I listened to my new client regale me with the horrors of her experience, and her lusciously detailed description of how this horribly unfair state was pressed upon her. For two hours. On a phone.

Basically, it went like this:

My new client had this bird, which she had acquired personally in Central America somewhere, brought in through the Brownsville Ag station years earlier, and had cared for for many years. His name was .. heck, I can't remember - the damned bird must still be alive, though, as they live forever. We'll just call him "Buster".

Buster was a fairly typical macaw, who bore a heavy metal staple around one leg that indicated at which Ag station he'd spent his quarantine and been cleared for lawful entry into the US. He had one eye that was gone - not just blind, but gone - apparently, he'd had some infection years earlier.

He was an ill-tempered bastard, and he was a good three feet tall. Warnings were issued to refrain from approaching him or his beak.

Buster lived in the aviary of my client's bird store, free of any tether, and without many other of God's creatures getting in his way.

One day, a new customer to the shop entered.

Lured, no doubt, by my client's regional reputation for high quality birds and a broad selection of bird support products, this new customer, we'll call "Ginger". There's actually a nifty word play in there that will suggest her real name to you, but we'll leave it at "Ginger".

Ginger was a member of a certain group of "professionals" who have as their primary business qualification "chutzpah".

Really, I can't and won't reveal her "profession", but you could have pinned this occupation on her from twenty paces. These days, she's driving a Lexus. I feel certain that's true. An RX400h, if I'm not mistaken.

Anyway, Ginger flounces into my client's bird shop and wanders back into the aviary, whereupon she espies "Buster" minding his own damned business up in the aviary tops.

"That's MY bird! That's my "Flouncy!" He was STOLEN from my backyard, and I WANT HIM BACK!"

I don't know how the ensuing conversation went, but my client is somewhat outspoken. I imagine that it did not go well.

So, Ginger returned to her normal range (Bellaire, Texas) and filed a complaint with the Bellaire PD that her "stolen property" (as I recall, not previously reported as stolen) had been located.

And, shortly thereafter, Bellaire PD deposited the warrant/subpoena for my client to appear with the merchandise.

And then, the phone in my office rang.

Now, we're forward to the next afternoon, and I meet (for the first time) my client outside the Bellaire Municipal Building (quite modest, back in 1990, with their tax base now they probably have their own Supreme Court). She, and her companion/partner/helper/manservant have "Buster" in a very large cage that is well covered. She's smoking about twelve cigarettes an hour. She's wound up to the hilt, and is ready for war.

She has another, similar bird with her, and her plan is to take the other bird into the court and deceive everyone that she can then pounce and alert the world that Ginger knows not her ass from a hole in the ground.

I personally know legions of title officers, mortgage officers, insurance agents and other folk who would, based solely on Ginger's professed profession, would agree wholeheartedly, but ..

I calmed and cautioned my client (who exhaled into my thirty year old face ignorant to my personal wishes) that such a choice would constitute criminal perjury, and .. she relented.

We entered the courthouse at the appointed time.

The Bellaire municipal courthouse was a lovely place (as compared to most comparable courtrooms), with theater styled seating in two sections, a nice light wood dais and bench for the Judge, who was a local attorney that heard speeding tickets and dog poo violations for one half day every so often. We, the Respondents, were four in number, my client, said manservant, me, and one very dazed young man who I had subpoenaed from Texas A&M.

Oh, and Buster. Buster in his massive cage, still covered, was brought into the courtroom (as we were ordered to do) but, he didn't like it so much.

Heedless of the vital nature that must be accorded those felonious non-residents of Bellaire who were nabbed exceeding their Very Special Speed limits, Buster announced his displeasure.

Did you know that a Macaw can drown out the noise of a crowded airport terminal?

Yeah.

LOUD.

The Judge Was Not Amused.

My client attempted to reduce the fussing level from within the covered cage. Order was restored. Dignity prevailed, but only until the Complainant (Ginger) entered the courtroom.

With her attorney, some standard issue suit, she entered leading a flying wedge of scrubbed white people. Good citizens all. There were a good twenty of them, total. Twenty. Leading citizens. Taxpayers all.

My side looked like relics from the shelter, with a baffled nubbin, me in a cheap suit, and this enormous box that squawked.

The docket for the next hour was called - the time for our denouement before Lady Justice was at hand.

Well, after the traffic tickets, and those who had left gum on the sidewalk.

Bellaire, you see, is like Houston's own little piece of Singapore. Sanitized. Modernized. An Oasis of Pretty (White) Affluent in the midst of the effluent.

Justice was meted out to those who were not well bred enough to be residents of Bellaire. Money flowed into the city's coffers.

And, then, it was Ginger's turn.

Bellaire PD, you see, was NOT going to introduce this matter before the (unsuspecting) municipal judge. Bellaire PD was not convinced that a.) this was the bird that was previously Ginger's, nor b.) that it was stolen from Ginger.

They demurred. Ginger's standard issue suit with a bar card took over.

Ginger was, of course, her own star witness. She was immaculately turned out in a lovely suit, probably from Neiman's or Tootsie's. Her size one body hoisted those shoulder pads up off of the chair and she strode up to the bench, the picture of confidence and poise.

Her nineteen white friends and relatives sat up in their chairs, eager to hear about her wrongs and suffering.

She began.

I objected.

You see, just as you've learned from the 6,198,278,109.8 courtroom drama shows that have peppered our lives since the 1970's, the side INTRODUCING testimony has to give ANSWERS to QUESTIONS that that side's attorney ASKS.

Apparently, the standard issue suit skipped that day in law school, or something.

The judge, however, did not skip that day, and agreed with me. This process consumed a goodly amount of time, in fact, the half hour traffic docket was nudging us with its chromed bumper. Ginger would narrate, I'd object, the judge would agree, the suit would ask something like "So, Ginger, WHAT HAPPENED?" and Ginger would pick up her narration again.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

We paused while the City of Bellaire hauled in some more cash from non-residents.

After that break, I just gave up with trying to have the Rules of Procedure control the so-called proceedings.

Ginger regaled the rapt audience with her tale -

"Flouncy", you see, had been HER bird, that she acquired from some trip she had taken with her (thoroughly bleached) husband to An Exotic Port of Call. They returned via Miami (MIA = the Miami Permanent Construction Zone and Drug Bazaar - courtesy of Dave Barry) where Flouncy had stayed his quarantine.

She LOVED Flouncy, and Flouncy LOVED her. She petted him, and loved him, and petted him and took care of his needs and ..

"Objection, relevance."

"Sustained."

And she LOVED him, and cared for him...

"Objection, relevance."

"Sustained."

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Flouncy, being the beloved, privileged Bellaire bird, was allowed to roam freely in the BACKYARD.

Bird. Backyard. Trees. Untethered.

Remember, chutzpah - not smarts.

The bird FLEW out of the backyard. By itself. Without a masked Bellaire bandit's assistance.

Whence the Bellaire PD had found it unlikely that Flouncy had been hijacked.

Ginger described Flouncy in minute and pointless detail. "Flouncy" aka Buster, was in his enormous, shrouded cage, finally silent.

The suit, sensing opportunity to shine, began to vilify my client, calling her inappropriate names (for any white woman a resident of Bellaire, anyway).

Objection. Sustained.

I declined to cross examine her utter lack of testimonial largess.

Following was an endless parade of thronging Whiteness - witness after witness praising Ginger's love for Flouncy.

"Objection. Relevance."

"Sustained." (a groan indicated long-suffering began to creep into the Judge's tone).

"Cross-examination?" "Sure. Ma'am, are you personally familiar with any fact that would suggest that Flouncy was stolen, rather than took a wrong turn at the tall tree in Bellaire?" "No."

"No further questions."

Lather, rinse, repeat.

I have always called this the Great White Case. You don't really HAVE a case, but you're very white and very upstanding, so you invite each and every upstanding white person that you know to come testify that you're both very white and very upstanding.

Frequently, this turns out swimmingly for the White Seekers of True Justice.

The did not count on the presence of He Who Wields Wit as a Weapon.

Finally, the parade of white people was halted, when the Judge (now well past his noontime relief) asked those yet unspoken whether any one of them had anything to offer OTHER than that Ginger LOVED Flouncy.

There was a murmur in the negative.

I was "on".

I lead with my client, whom I had hoped had been nosing around in the Ketamine back of her store. I was able to confine her to the limits of the matter at hand - where she had acquired Buster, when, how he arrived here in These United States, how he had lost his eye (Flouncy, you see, had lost HIS eye in an unfortunate contact injury, whereas Buster had lost his eye from a viral infection common to birds).

Now, it was time for the coup d'grace - my witness from Texas A&M.

On direct, I had him testify that each Ag quarantine station had their own unique code which was stamped permanently into the heavy metal staple that was applied to each bird at that station. The staple applied in Miami could NEVER be confused with the staple applied in Brownsville. Had he personally inspected Buster before the courtroom drama?

Yes.

Could he identify the staple on Buster's leg?

Yes.

Please share your identification of the Ag station through which Buster entered the US from your personal examination.

"Brownsille, Texas"

And Buster could not have come through Miami?

No. These staples are only applied by the US Dept. of Ag, only at the quarantine stations, and they cannot be removed without irreparable damage.

So, Ginger's bird, whom she has testified she personally brought in through Miami could not be the bird that you inspected today?

No.

Let's pass the witness with a heavy gravy of smug, please.

The suit winds up his opening pitch -

Couldn't the staple have been removed from Flouncy and replaced with a repaired staple from Brownsville?
No.
But, the staple could have been bought illegally from someone who worked at the Brownsville Ag station and then later put onto Flouncy's leg?
No. The stapler is only at the Ag stations, and couldn't be applied off site.
Maybe you're just confused.
No.
Maybe Flouncy's staple was improperly applied with a Brownsville mark at the Miami station.

"Objection."

"Sustained"

"This man (says the suit) is refusing to produce the stolen property, and he is delaying justice for my client. This man.."

"Your honor, I have a name. It's Douglas Hord. I gave opposing counsel my business card when we first met. I object to him referring to me as 'this man'."

Judge (with head down on bench, groans) "sustained".

The Judge, now three hours into sudden death overtime, grumbles "I wish it were Judge Wapner hearing this case instead of me."

Now, the suit pronounces (out of turn, again) that IT IS NOW TIME THAT THIS STOLEN BIRD BE PRODUCED!

"Objection, your honor. To prevail, the Claimant must first demonstrate that there was a theft, and then that my client is in possession of the property stolen. The Claimant has introduced anecdotal evidence that the property was lost, but none regarding a theft."

Judge: "After listening to this for five hours, I want to see the damned bird."

Client, now VERY unhappy, allows her manservant to reveal Buster in his cage.

Ginger: "FLOUNCY! FLOUNCY!"

Suit: "I believe that the Court should observe my client interact with her bird".

Fine. Whatever.

My client conveys the bird over to Ginger, who leans over (again with the chutzpah, but not smart - you couldn't have gotten me within five feet of that thing's hammerlock snout) and coos at the bird. "Flouncy, how I've missed you."

The bird spins his head around 180 degrees and looks at my client as if to ask "who IS this bitch?".

My client points out to the judge that Buster's LEFT eye is the one missing. Ginger had testified repeatedly that Flouncy's RIGHT eye was the one missing.

Ginger: "YOU SWITCHED THE BIRDS!"

Suit: "Your Honor, I believe that the Bellaire PD should now examine ALL of that woman's birds to find where she's put my client's bird!"

Me: " Perhaps counsel may next suggest that Flouncy was transported away by the Starship Enterprise, but I doubt that this is other than wild speculation, and there is nothing before this Court to suggest that my client has done anything but observe the orders of this Court."

"Sustained. Okay, look... is there anything else?"

No. No.

"Okay, in order to prevail, the Claimant must first prove that she was deprived of her property by theft, and then that Respondent possesses or controls that property. There has been no evidence introduced that a theft took place.."

The Great White Case stand up, en masse, and file out of the courtroom .. including the suit, and without waiting for the Judge to finish.

Just rude.

I don't remember how much I got paid for that one. We finished at 5pm. We'd been there since 9am.

Oh, but there's more. A lot more. And, you'll get to read all about it (or part two thereof) tomorrow...

Today's most poingnant and relevant discussion -

2010-08-28T21:04:00.000-05:00

I spent a good couple of hours today reading about the Koch family, about the Birchers, the Tea Party, the astonishing spread of hate and intentional ignorance -

I was beginning to form the thought "why bother?"

Then, the conversation with Teddy:

Ted: So whats new in politics today?
drdivo: Oh, it's all the same. It's the same shit been going on since Andrew Jackson
Ted: I figured
Ted: the decline of intelligent thought in this country is making me sad
drdivo: It's making it challenging for me to be around people who are talking
drdivo: I just want to injure them
Ted: I stay away from them
Ted: There isn't anything in common, so there is no possible dialogue
drdivo: so true
Ted: They believe that once you are born, you're on your own. I believe we have a collective responsibility to society. We are arguing from two separate and irreconcilable bases of thought
drdivo: quite so
drdivo: and they resent ANY helping hand given anyone other than themselves
Ted: indeed. Although they might tread carefully. Worrying too much about the 2nd amendment may not be in their favor when the middle class is gone and there is a huge, armed underclass who comes to realize that they've been well and truly screwed by the very wealthy whom they supported for so long

(my comment at the end there)

Holiday depression, or just ... ?

2010-08-26T21:54:00.000-05:00

I'm going to talk about depression for a bit.

The goal of this discussion, is to give those who don't deal with depression some understanding about what depression is, and to give those who are depressed and aren't getting treated some access to seeing that there is hope.

Even for someone who is themselves depressed, it is nearly impossible to see a depressed person as anything other than selfish and self-pitying. Even in mass media articles about depression, the tone is that it's all in the head of the depressed.

Being depressed is an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness, of pointlessness. There is only a certainty that nothing will get better, ever.

It's not something one just "snaps out of". It's not selfish, although the matter tends to be self-focused. It's not something that one can smile one's way out of.

It is a closed, self-fulfilling, self-validating circle that blocks out everything else.

You can't talk someone out of it. Helpful suggestions are not helpful.

My sister recently complimented my Zoloft for my improved mood and behavior. Uh, thanks. Zoloft did cut through the fog long enough that I could start productive talk therapy.

Medical research is now beginning to show that the vast pool of anti-depressants don't .. um .. do anything.

Productive talk therapy, with a patient who is intent on changing their life and their patterns does work. So does exercise. Sometimes.

Everyone is quite different in small ways; what works for one person won't necessarily work for someone else.

Bottom line, don't think you know what's wrong with a depressed person because you watched "Oprah" one afternoon, or because you've heard that SSRIs do wonders. You're just justifying your own judgment.

Try walking ten miles in the blinding fog of a depressed person and see how judgmental you're feeling thereafter.

Full as a tick on a Junebug...

2010-08-26T21:47:00.000-05:00

As we say here in Texas, anyway.

I'm as full as a tick on a Junebug - it refers to that a tick will suck the blood of its victim literally until it bursts. So, I could suggest that I'm full to the point of bursting.

Of what, you ask?

racism
people who resent government, want lower taxes because government is inefficient, and then bitch about government inefficiency
US military spending
people who steadfastly remain ignorant to the effects of their behaviors and choices
gay Republicans
gay conservative Christians
married men who live "normal" lives but seek anonymous sex with men
people who bitch about taxes in the US
people who bitch about how unions ruined everything
people who think that there are herds of unemployed, lazy, shiftless people on welfare who are ruining our economy
people who blame illegal immigrants for illegal immigration

Thoughts on organized religion, ecclesiastical leadership and abuse

2010-08-26T21:36:00.000-05:00

The further I move away from organized religion and ecclesiastical leadership, the more I am seeing that a consistent theme among such leaders is an urgent desire to "fix" what they perceive to be wrong with themselves.

Just as with the constant drone of conservative, anti-gay leaders coming out of the closet and braying for forgiveness, these committed self-healers find themselves in positions of authority and without the tools to actually teach what they preach. Conceptual knowledge and a good schtick is still a horrible disservice to those who look to these frauds as leaders.

Just as with the ardent anti-homo homos, these "healers" tend to lash out and further injure those who are in the most injury prone state.

What can be done about it? Nothing. People should just keep their eyes more open than they tend to do, I guess.

Vacating...

2010-08-26T21:31:00.000-05:00

Vacation. One vacates?

Vacates what, though? What if one's life now is such a change from what one's life was that going back to vacation with people who are from that "was" just inadvertently take you away from who you are now and return you back to where you've worked so hard to move away from?

Is there a successful vacation when you are assured of being thought of, interacted with and only seen as who you've always been known to be?

Or, does a successful vacation require going somewhere with only one's new self?

Sometimes, it's just SUCH a small world....

2010-08-23T19:39:00.000-05:00

Subject: Hot waiter with whom I've flirted

Locale: BB's Cafe on Montrose

Event: Andrew, the very cute, very blond, very daffy waiter was there today. I greeted him effusively. I complimented him on his haircut. He's just not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.

Shortly after, Robert showed up and to cap off our lunch experience, Robert put on his "anti-UofH" floor show for Andrew.

It's quite the show. Only his "And then, I flew off of the top step and body checked the bitch while she was trying to bite my partner's arm" comes close to its drama and intensity.

Andrew, who has today started at UH, was somewhat overwhelmed.

Yes, UH has its problems, but Robert paints them out to be so vast and monstrous that there appears to be no valid reason that UofH is still operating.

Robert was called away to another engagement, and I mentioned to Andrew that I'm an adjunct at UH and Robert paints the picture out to be much worse than it really is.

"Oh, really? Maybe you know my dad - he's an adjunct at UH. Ken Jones".

(insert massive pause in space time continuum here)

"Ken Jones - as in married to Carla?" (Carla being she who during the cast party following opening night of "Best Little Whorehouse in Texas back around 1998 I complimented by telling her that she was so hot I had heterosexual thoughts about her)

"Yeah, he's my dad"

(insert flood of conflicted thoughts here, i.e.

Your dad is one of the smartest guys on the planet - what happened to you?
That explains why you've got such a great ass, 'cause your dad's ass ROCKS the house at age 54.
I wonder if you're as MSM curious as is your dad...
Well, crap, now I can't try to get into your pants!
etc.)

my email to Darrin at Beck and Masten Buick GMC today

2010-08-23T19:36:00.000-05:00

So, you're all aware that I'm a car whore. Currently, I'm captivated both emotionally and intellectually with the 2011 Buick Regal. I saw it at the Houston (pathetic) car show in January, and I got to drive one a couple of Saturdays ago. I've consumed every fragment and data bit of information that I can hunt down about the car, and I'm s-o-l-d.

Last week, after retuning from vacay with my fam, I found myself sans companions - as is my usual, but was newly unfamiliar to me - and I did my usual - which is to look at cars online. I was delighted to see that Edmunds.com had uploaded the Regal CXL turbo information, which was brand new to the net - pricing, equipment, etc. Edmunds provides a convenient "get a quote" link. Being a.) bored, b.) lonely and c.) insane, I completed the online form and was nearly immediately rewarded with a barrage of automated emails from the five (5) Houston area Buick dealers that I chose. Somehow, DeMontrond didn't make the cut (probably because they're not paying Edmunds off).

I had a single satisfactory conversation with one (1) Buick salesman following this web inquiry. His automated responder just tonight emailed me with a follow up, and I replied to him thusly:

Hello Darrin -

Enjoyed speaking to you last week.

Edmunds sent out five requests for quote for the '11 Regal GXL turbo.

You replied cogently, spoke in a reasonable way, and suggested you'd call me when one came in that I could drive. If one wasn't available as I would want (CXL turbo, 6AT pkg 5, espresso brown, cashmere), you'd help me order one.

I'm quite good with that answer, and you've got my business. When one comes in, I hope to hear from you and I'll dash right up there to check it out with you. I understand that they'll start shipping shortly.

You'll be quite entertained to hear of the other four responses:

David Taylor - replied that the Turbo won't be out until next year 2nd qtr (they must be thinking of the GS, which I didn't inquire about)
West Point - replied by phone and by email and blackberry at 10:30pm, then by phone and email and blackberry the next morning. After I spoke to you, I spoke to him, and he suggested that I could come in right then and buy one - he'd find me one. Uh, no.
Beck & Masten South - replied by email that the Turbo won't be out until the Spring - see David Taylor, above.
Casa - replied twice; internet "manager" (not the internet manager reflected on their website) replied that the turbo wasn't out, and they didn't know when that would be. I tried to reply to his email, and his reply address failed. Then, the internet manager (as listed on the website) contacted me by email to suggest that I'd really like the non-turbo, and I should come try one. After I had made it clear to them that I'd already driven the CXL base, and wanted the CXL turbo.

So, man, you're the only Buick guy in town who's actually processing what the customer is asking for. Kudos. Call me when they're coming off the truck and I'm looking forward to meeting you then.

Doug Hord

Notes:

If you're interested in a new Buick, go see Darin at Beck and Masten North.
I love being again validated by my prior opinions of the idiots at David Taylor.

More stupid shit from crazy white people

2010-08-01T17:25:00.000-05:00

My dad sends me (for verification purposes):

From September 11, 2009 ….

IN CASE YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THIS READ CAREFULLY
In Houston, Texas

Harwin Central Mall: The very first store that you come to when you walk from the lobby of the building into the shopping area had this sign posted on their door. The shop is run by Muslims.
Feel free to share this with others. In case you are not able to read the sign below, it says
"We will be closed on Friday, September 11, 2009 to
commemorate the martyrdom of Imam Ali"

Imam Ali flew one of the planes into the twin towers.

Nice huh?
Try telling me we're not in a Religious war!
THIS HAS NOT BEEN AROUND.....SO MAKE SURE IT GOES!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Truthfulness inspection:

From September 11, 2009 ….true

IN CASE YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THIS READ CAREFULLY
In Houston, Texas true-ish

Harwin Central Mall (untrue, no such place): The very first store that you come to when you walk from the lobby of the building into the shopping area (untrue) had this sign posted on their door. (true) The shop is run by Muslims. (true-ish, they're Americans)
Feel free to share this with others. (if you're a chickenshit white bigoted Asshat) In case you are not able to read the sign below, it says
"We will be closed on Friday, September 11, 2009 to
commemorate the martyrdom of Imam Ali"

Picture is real

Imam Ali flew one of the planes into the twin towers. (not even a little bit true)

Nice huh? (that you made a bunch of shit up and spread it around the other arrogant, bigoted, Paulist asshats that call themselves "Christian"? No, not really. So, not even a little bit true)
Try telling me we're not in a Religious war! (I think you're right, we're still fighting the Crusades, which we started as a diversion for the folks that could rise up against the leadership in rebellion and take over. The arrogant, bigoted, Paulist asshats that call themselves "Christian" are still at it. So, true.)
THIS HAS NOT BEEN AROUND (this has been around in circles, so not true a tiny little bit).....SO MAKE SURE IT GOES! (this isn't really a claim as much an exhortation, so knock yourself out)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My note back to my dad:

"We're not in a religious war".

http://www.snopes.com/rumors/photos/martyr.asp

It's FALSE.

I live in Houston and have for 29 years. There is no "Harwin Central Mall". There is a "Harwin Central Mart". There was no 9/11 hijacker named "Ali", and "Imam" is not a name, but is rather a title for a Muslim religious leader.

Imam Ali http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imam_Ali was the cousin and son-in-law of the Prophet Muhammad, and was the ruler of the Islamic Caliphate after Muhammad died. In 656 C.E.

Imam Ali, who was the leader of the largest organized area of the world at the time, was assassinated on the 19th day of Ramadan (a lunar calendar) and died on the 21st day of Ramadan. This happened to fall, in 2009, on September 22, 2010 by the Georgian calendar.

The owners of the store, who were astonished and baffled by white, Christian bigotry in reaction to their observation of a religious and cultural leader's death one thousand five hundred years ago, continue to this day to receive hundreds of hostile letters and phone calls, many of which threatened them with death and destruction of property.

Please tell your buddy Al thanks from me for making the world a safer place.

Oh, it took me less than ten seconds to dig up this information. It took me far longer to write it into the body of an email, because most people like your buddy Al who send this horseshit onward won't click links containing facts to see for themselves.

The following graphic is for your buddy Al, and for anyone else who looks at the world the way he does:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just one more note on a related subject:

Fighting back when they already own the government

2010-08-01T13:43:00.000-05:00

I love talking with Teddy. His thoughts on the Target situation:

It is so disappointing though, they were the anti-walmart and now they are no better than the Arkansas asshats. Corporations in this country seem hell-bent on proving that they are, in fact, evil.

When commercial organizations support political or ideological causes antithetical to your very being, there is only one way to successfully deal with it.

When they perceive that their cost of business is higher than supporting the causes which try to kill or limit you, coupled with an awareness of tens of thousands of individual communicated decisions to purchase elsewhere, they'll change.

So every time you purchase something you could have or would have purchased at Target, send the local store a note that informs them of how much business they lost.

For those OCD souls among us, follow my lead in sending your local Target store a summary of all the money you spent there in the last calendar year and notify them that next year, the total will be zero.

Teddy reminded me that he mostly shops at Amazon online, and I have been noticing my own tendency to do the same. I wonder if Jeff Bezos could consider opening up an online pharmacy by mail....

"HEY JEFF!"

My email to Target's CEO

2010-08-01T13:21:00.002-05:00

I've been a Target customer, loyal beyond reason, for twenty-nine years.

I deeply regret that Target management has concluded that their best business strategy is to promote political entities that advocate me personally having no human rights, that I be done violent death and be relegated to a sub-human existence.

I believe that you must understand I can no longer support Target in any way with my recommendations, my time nor my money.

I will be providing both the store manager and the pharmacist with the attached letter next week when I advise them in person that I am transferring my prescriptions to a commercial enterprise that does not actively and openly seek my person and my life being damaged, and that I will never be back.

2010-07-31T11:47:00.000-05:00

Today's Life Lesson

Never irritate a woman who

can operate a backhoe.

Thus endeth the lesson.

Women are angels, and when someone breaks their wings they simply continue to fly ... on a broomstick. They’re flexible like that.

Speaking of Lap and Shoulder Belts

2010-07-29T08:48:00.000-05:00

Didja know that I used to have a little column in a Houston regional magazine called "Martini Motoring"?

I was reflecting on that the other day when my very dear Chuckerpoo was trying to get the lap and shoulder belt in my Buick to stop cutting him across the neck - he wrapped it under his armpit and I think I threw a fit. There may have been a little spittle involved.

Back in the late 1990s, I wrote this about that:

Recently, Parade Magazine invited readers to submit their favorite bumper stickers for publication. My favorite one was “Get Out of the Gene Pool.”

It seems that there is a large body of drivers who are intent on getting out of the gene pool; they are those who have started wearing their shoulder belts under their arms and across the ribcage.

Okay, simple physiology boys and girls, the ribcage is weak. The collarbone is very strong. The shoulder belt goes over the shoulder because all of the deceleration force is directed to the collarbone, which will easily absorb it.

If you are one of those who thinks it is more comfortable or trendy to wear your shoulder belt across your ribcage, just remember this: When you are chatting up someone on your mobile phone and fail to see that traffic stopping in front of you, pile into your next-door neighbor at 35 mph or so and are pulled to a halt by the shoulder belt, your ribcage will collapse under the strain, your chest and internal organs will be squashed like goose liver pate, and you will suffer the same fate as Princess Diana without the paparazzi.

PayPal customer service - new era

2010-07-20T10:32:00.000-05:00

"Thank you for re-reading to me the information that was provided on the website for the fourth time. I teach college, and I was able to understand that information from the website - I wanted to understand WHY you took this action. You have been utterly unhelpful, you have refused to connect me with a supervisor, and this will be reflected in the survey that I will be asked to complete before, likely, the payment is cleared"

"I hope the rest of your shift is utterly miserable. Now, I am going to hang up on you, which was your goal all along. Goodbye."

Fun with Diabetes

2010-07-19T20:52:00.000-05:00

"Oh, my God! You're DIABETIC? You have to TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! Here, have a piece of pie.."

This morning, I was listening to a podcast of the BBC world service, in which people with AIDS were being interviewed - the interviewees commented about the uniform assumption that they had engaged in male/male sex to become infected. I was thinking about this post when I was driving along and listening, and I thought well, the same for diabetes - people make assumptions that are based on commonly held fallacies.

If I'm diabetic, I must be eating Snickers and Bon-Bons all day.
If I'm diabetic, I must be lazy and never exercise.
If I'm diabetic, I must not realize what's good for me.

Okay, so there's some truth to the commonly held fallacies. But, whipping up on someone who is diabetic is a sure fire way to NOT get your message across. Especially when you're handing them a piece of cake.

In our post-baby boomer obesity, most diabetes is Type II adult onset, and is based on hyper-insulin production; basically, your body becomes numb to high levels of insulin - just as do your ears after a couple of hours listening to very loud music. Eventually, the body's high production of insulin wears the pancreas down until it fails and then one is a Type I diabetic.

How is it that we get such over-production of insulin? A diet that is founded on things like high-fructose corn syrup, higher sugar contents, higher refined carbohydrate intake and less physical exercise. Our body receives a huge load of food energy to be processed, which it does with insulin produced in the pancreas.

High fructose corn syrup does not interact with insulin to produce usable energy in the body; however, it is recognized by the body as energy-dense food, and induces the body to produce a LOT more insulin, which doesn't reduce the energy density, and MORE insulin is produced.

Finally, the body stores the unusable energy as fat. Belly fat. Insulin resistant belly fat. This compounds the insulin production situation, and makes it harder to change the body's chemistry.

What will turn this around?

Back to the commonly held beliefs - diet and exercise. Diet and exercise ONLY.

All of the medications to treat diabetes treat symptoms - not causes. The oral medications either enhance the body's absorption of insulin, or induce the body to produce more insulin.

Back to our analogy of the ears ringing (numbness) from too much loud music. What's the best cure for that, do you think?

How about LOUDER music? Or, maybe work on the ear wax??

Clearly not!

Letting the ears recover, and changing the environment is how we deal with that.

How does that analogy translate back into combating diabetes?

Let the body recover and change the environment.

For the last six years, I *thought* I knew what I was doing, food-wise. Boy, howdy (that's a Texas phrase), was I wrong about that.

Environmental change #1 - eliminate High Fructose Corn Syrup. That is much harder than it may seem - it is a primary element of nearly all pre-packaged or prepared foods. It's in ALL non-diet drinks. It's in nearly all low or non-fat foods.

Environmental change #2 - reduce sugar. Again, a challenge. Sugar is in EVERYTHING, especially in diet, low and no-fat foods.

Environmental change #3 - dense, lean body mass consumes far more nutrients than does adipose tissue (fat). Lean body mass increases the metabolic rate ALL day. So, it's not just getting more active that will change the body adequately; one has to do weight training to increase muscle mass.

How can this be fun? After all, I did promise that this was going to be FUN with diabetes.

Example #1 - virtually all (a-l-l) oral diabetes medications have as a side effect "upset stomach". AKA diarrhea.

Example #2 - many of the sugar substitutes are sugar alcohols. Sugar alcohols are slightly different than real sugar - they have one fewer molecule - but taste just like sugar on the tongue.

Real world example - after THOROUGHLY researching artificial sweeteners, I picked Xylitol. It's relatively cheap, it's got a smooth taste, it has ZERO glucose load and .. no side effects.

Okay, no bad, death causing side effects. Sugar alcohols are laxatives.

My friend Teddy told me "oh, watch out, Xylitol is a laxative". He has a penchant for understatement.

Don't try to use Xylitol as you have done sugar. That, plus the oral meds all we diabetics are taking produce EXPLOSIVE, aggregated side effects. Think "flame thrower".

Fortunately, using Xylitol has greatly reduced both my blood glucose numbers, and my consumption of coffee. The flame thrower effect seems to have self-regulated.

Eat bananas. It helps. Don't eat prunes. You have to eat one of them to keep your potassium levels up.

Greaseless

2010-07-17T10:20:00.000-05:00

I've not been doing a lot of writing lately, but have been doing a great deal of consuming information and cogitating. So, I'm not going to rely on a common theme for this piece; it's just about cool stuff I've found.

Starting with cool stuff - walk into any urban resale shop and you'll see that the #1 abandoned item is the George Foreman grill. The funny thing about virtually all of these abandoned grilles is that they didn't get kicked to the curb WITH the vital grease trap that sits beneath the front of the grill. The patented slanted cooking surface, that so famously promotes grease and fat reduction, has to drain off all that hot grease. Without the grease trap, all of that grease is gonna be all over the counter.

Also, the grease trap has to be pushed ALL the way back under the grill until it stops moving. Or, again, one will be swamping grease from every kitchen surface.

I wonder whether improper grease trap placement sours all of these grill owners? Or, I wonder whether the wild variety of Foreman grilles induces people giving them as gifts, which then sit unused in a closet for several years until they get sold at a garage sale or donated to a charity?

Anyway, the other day, my computer popped up and said "Okay, fatboy - you've been in front of the computer for too long again, get up and walk around!" And, I complied by walking across the street to the Goodwill which recently occupied the 99 cents store space.

A River Oaks-y Goodwill, no less!

The Foreman grill was on my mind after last weekend, when Billy told me that the two little Filet Mignons I bought from the Kroger discount bin would cook up just wonderfully in his Foreman grill.

So, there I was, in the Goodwill, with Foreman grills on the mind. After all, I'm all about the bargains, even though my parsimony pales in comparison to Air-Rick, the Canuck. HE is genetically bred to identify bargains before even the Seller knows that they are selling.

There were ELEVEN Foreman grills at this particular Goodwill. Oh, wait, my lawyer training requires me to state that as "There were ELEVEN (11) Foreman grills at this particular Goodwill."

How the heck can one tell them apart? I knew nothing of Foreman grills. I compared them endlessly. Why is the one with the red bun heater lid only five bucks, when the identical one save for the lid being blue is ten?

One of the grills, just one, had a grease tray strapped to it with packing tape. Clearly, this distinguished the one grill mated to the grease tray from the lesser, unlovable grills without said grease tray. And, this one was DIGITAL, with little buttons marked "up" and "down" bracing a digital timer display. AND, this one was STAINLESS STEEL (veneer). And, it was .. ten bucks.

The identical price to lesser grills without the grease tray.

I nabbed it.

After a few days of fiddling with it, and after having done internet research on the use and care of said grill (Goodwill not being so good about having owner's manuals and such dross) I discovered a few things:

These grills are a MESS, but no more so than anything else when cooking meats! The difference here is that this grill can't be dipped into hot, sudsy water.
Once you get the cooking times down, they are great cookers!
Bacon - never better. Perfectly cooked, perfect consistency.
A food thermometer is a requirement
Cleaning the grill is pretty easy if you do it when it's warm, using a 10% bleach/water solution in a spray bottle and paper towels

So, for ten bucks, I am keeping my Cuisinart ceramic "Green" cookware more pristine and feeling more effective in the kitchen! And, should this one up and die, I know where about twenty of his brothers are living.

Mashup Wednesday -

2010-07-14T16:20:00.000-05:00

This morning, I had a bloom on my climbing, clambering morning glory. I can see now why they're called morning glory - I was out there at 7:15 this morning, and the bloom had already collapsed.

Will I get up even earlier to check it out? Don't hold your breath.

Some random thoughts will creep into this here post. To-wit, I'm becoming increasingly aware that people (most people) spend most of their time complaining about how they're being ill treated. When they're not verbalizing how they are ill treated, they're acting out of a goal to reinforce and/or compensate for their perception of maltreatment.

How on earth does anything get done?

Facebook is fast losing its appeal for me.

I'm working on a new web based publishing concept and I've just started posting new content. The content is probably not something you need, but it's something a lot of people need.

The concept is a triptych of blogs (web logs) covering three primary areas:

"Can You Believe That?" - notes of the interesting things people do at www.drdivo.com
"Can They Do That?" - notes about collection agencies, how they are allowed to behave and what to do about misbehavior at http://doughord.com
"Can I Deduct That?" - notes about taxes as they relate to self-employment and small business at http://douglashord.com

I'm spinning this up gradually, but I'd sure appreciate your thoughts. You can share them by email, or by making comments after each article. All comments are moderated, so if you want to post a comment, you can swing wide and not worry about having to retract it later.

You can also help me out by doing any of the following:

Subscribe to my posts on any or all three sites. You can unsubscribe at any time; you'll mostly get a notice that there's a new article
Let friends who may find the information helpful, supportive, or entertaining know about the articles by sharing them
Using online referral tools, such as Facebook, Twitter, Digg, Stumble On to recommend them to others
Thinking good thoughts for me

Thanks for having a look!!

Where are they going? And why are they? Do we know?

2010-07-09T12:14:00.000-05:00

Last week, Robert dropped me off at UofH. On the way there, we passed a very long freight train leaving the Port of Houston. The train consisted solely of flatbed cars, each loaded with Bradley fighting vehicles, M1A1 Abrams tanks, motorized artillery, Humvees - more than a hundred vehicles - all painted in desert colors.

This was an unusual experience.

Then, today, while waiting for the bus (hopefully for the last time in a LONG time), I see these going by on low-boy trucks - straight through the tony Galleria area, heading in from the west.

These are US Navy, 31 foot River Patrol Boats. Why are they driving down the middle of Westheimer? From where were they coming? Where were they going? Why?

Victoria rehab spa update

2010-07-06T11:55:00.000-05:00

Today is the first day we've had strong sunshine since Victoria went into rehab to dry out following a serious bender two Thursdays ago. Her carpeting and padding is sitting outside in the sun, baking out the last bits of water.

If you're wondering why she could have gone "Christine" without getting "wet" aka water sloshing into the car, here are a few pictures of the many computer modules that run everything from the climate control to the power windows - all mounted to the floor:

Right there in the center of the picture, you can see a module attached to the floor - that one likely got wet.

Crappy picture, yes, but this is the back seat area - in the center are two big honking black modules. The wires to the left are where the battery lives.

Here is where Victoria has been drying out - for eleven days now.

They're SAYING that MAYBE today they'll be able to reassemble everything and test her out. But, then comes the work that's needed on the balancer for the supercharger drive belt. So, tomorrow at the earliest.

It happened again.. Citgo logic

2010-06-28T22:45:00.000-05:00

Once again, "Citgo" logic struck me today.

You may wonder - what IS Citgo logic?

Of course, it's something I made up in the moment. It's a type of email or other communication that's been going around since those who don't squint discovered email and internet access. You've gotten about ten of them this week - telling you that George Soros is actually a reincarnated Mayan devil who's controlling the Jewish hegemony over 9/11 records.

They are deeply flawed, both on the basis of logic and on the basis of fact. They are an appeal to emotion and they BECOME TRUTH because of incessant repetition.

The subject of this one just happened to be Citgo. The good folks over at Snopes.com have debunked it quite thoroughly, but you should click on it and read their stuff.

Don't worry, I'll wait until you finish.

All right. So, you read it, yes? You've probably had it in your "in" box at some point.

What's wrong with it? Well, factually, there's very little there. Blah blah blah "Chavez is a bad man", blah blah blah "punish him for being bad to his people", blah blah blah "And now he's got GUNS" blah blah blah "And Iranian OIL DEVELOPERS".

In the Universities where I teach logic review classes, we have a "dirty dozen" of common logic fallacies.

Logic fallacies, because they are presented to persuade, the structure doesn't lead to the conclusion, and yet they're believed to be persuasive.

Motivated by the questions raised in classes, and by this email I received, I resolved to write a post about this common form of persuasive badgering.

Badgering - it's an analogy - meaning, that it's used to describe human behavior even though it's clearly about badgers. Badgers are predatory omnivores that are known for their fierce and tenacious defensive behavior. They will attack, attack, attack and press regardless of the odds against them.

Humans, who verbally harass, press the point, attack attack attack, are said to be "badgering".

Persons who forward emails of this nature are doing so to bait a response, and it's quite fair to call this behavior "badgering".

Now, when one responds to such an email or communication (p.s., NEVER do this if it's someone you care about maintaining a relationship with) to discuss it .. say, rationally .. you may reasonably expect that the badger will strike from within their underground lair with the savageness that they are known for.

For some persons (probably those wearing hunting togs and riding expensive horses) this could be considered sporting.

However, for someone who's just trying to make sense of the world, or someone who's avoiding the drama and trying to live life mindfully, this is not sport. It's wildly dramatic and unwelcome, especially when one is certain that the sender (badger) knows full well that the email broadside will be unwelcome and will serve to create discordant discourse.

Let's go back to the Citgo email (as an example):

Citgo is indeed 100% owned by PDVesa, the state owned oil company of Venezuela.
Citgo was owned by PDVesa for nearly ten years before Chavez was ELECTED the President of that country
Citgo has had a nearly 100 year history in the US as a refining and marketing brand
Venezuela has had a long history of wealth and power concentration that has brought pain to its common citizens and many fruits to those wealthy and powerful
Venezuela does have a gun factory
Venezuela has created an exploration deal with an Iranian company
Chavez has often objected to US diplomacy and militarism, and has been a loud voice among dozens who seek to create an alternative to US domination
Lots of Americans think that this is evil, wrong and that we should blow them up

Now, the email suggests, based on the above, that all good and patriotic Americans should cease purchasing gas from Citgo. The assertion is that every dollar spent at a Citgo station will be used by the government of Venezuela.

Depending on whether you're a "patriotic" American, or a "liberal", you're either sending this email to suggest that you buy or boycott.

First point - the identical information is used to support "buy" and "boycott", depending on one's axe needing ground.

Second point, the entire argument is a fallacy - the fallacy of ad populum. It also smacks of proof by verbosity, which is a common technique used by those who badger. Should one reject the argument in any manner, one can be assured of a vigorous collection of statements ad hominem, i.e., personal insults.

If the common discourse in this country could be fact based and logically sound, most of the finger pointing would cease.

Given the predilection for such behaviors, I suspect that there will be far more cessation of relationships.

Avast! The scuppers are awash!

2010-06-26T12:55:00.000-05:00

As a boy, we spent most summer weeks at my grandparents' house in upper Michigan. The cousins had a lake cottage up the street, and we frequently were aboard small boats. Living in Michigan - anywhere in Michigan - one was never far from a natural lake, on which boating abounded.

For all my experiences afloat, I was never really SECURE on a floating piece of fiberglass. The feeling of being jostled by the waves, the sound of water slapping against the bottom of the vessel, these always gave me a vague sense of nausea.

I've now lived in Houston twenty-nine years, and I've been able to avoid being afloat most of this time. I've been aboard a few larger boats, Texans tending to do things in a big way, but even there, the unsettled stomach persists.

Having lived here this long, I've become well familiar with street flooding that defies description. We get rain that comes down so hard and so fast that parts of the city are awash until the storm drains catch up. I've used nearly every car I've owned these last twenty-nine years as a life raft or rowboat.

In fact, last year I drove the Bonneville through water that seriously made me question my decision making skills. She came through like a champ - and I was lucky.

I have, however, never been trapped in standing water, unable to go anywhere - even to seek higher ground.

Until Thursday.

Thursday night, the lightning storm over Houston was worthy of inclusion in a summer blockbuster movie. It was mostly dry leaving UofH, and I took my usual route home.

As I came around to Richmond Avenue, I could see that it was under water from curb to opposite curb.

I could also see that people were, predictably, making very poor choices and were unwilling to consider the effects of their choices on others.

I had three or four choices - proceed through on Richmond, which would take me through the highest water foreseeable, pull into the Best Buy parking lot and wait, turn around and wait in a dry parking lot behind me, or try to cut around the back way to get home.

I chose option #4.

Right now, knowing what I know, either option #2 or #3 would have been superior.

When I got around to the "back way", I quickly ran into standing water that had already disabled a number of cars. I could see very clearly that the water was not high enough to impede my moving through it (as long as I didn't do anything stupid). I made it through this patch of stalled or waiting cars to the intersection, and found myself walled in by high water.

So, I made the turn and stopped. And waited. For three hours.

The water was about curb height, and I was right next to the curb. According to Yahoo Answers, the average vertical curb is six inches high, which seems about right, if not a shade high. My car has ground clearance of about 4.5 inches to the chassis, and about 6.25 inches to the bottom of the doors. I was in the clear, as long as the water didn't rise.

I turned the car off, and waited.

For three hours.

During this time, larger vehicles - Suburbans, Tahoes, wreckers, Tundras, Silverados, Expeditions - kept attempting to breach the high water.

And I spent three hours feeling like I did when sitting in a little aluminum boat on Lake Missaukee. The sound of the water sloshing underneath the chassis, occasionally, when someone would really power through, the feeling of being rocked in someone else's wake.

My 3700 pound car was LIFTED up by the water pressure at least twenty times.

As I said, the car was above the water level. I opened my door several times to make sure.

However - the bow waves pushed by these large trucks swamped my Buick.

Do you remember the movie "Christine"? Where the 1957 Plymouth Fury goes on a rampage? It's from 1983, but it's still a great watch.

The Fury is restored by one Arnie, who works at a local repair garage owned by Will Darnell. One evening, after going out for a murderous spin, Christine returns to the garage, still smoking hot from having been ablaze. Darnell (played by Robert Prosky) checks out the driver-less, smoldering car and gets behind the wheel. The radio fires up, and begins playing a '50s tune. Then, the power seat cranks forward all the way, crushing Darnell to death behind the steering wheel.

Let me tell you what that's like in REAL life.

After having sat there for about a half hour, the first big wave rocked the car and .. the stereo (which was turned OFF) started making some beeping noises. I was on the phone with Billy (who was at home, only ten blocks away and telling me that the water in our street was over ten inches deep) and he kept asking "WHAT IS THAT NOISE?"

Then, the driver's seat moved. On its own. Uncommanded. It lurched forward over the space of some thirty seconds, until I was wondering whether my recent weight loss could save me Prosky's fate from the movie.

It stopped.

New beeping came from under the dash, as well as the sounds of different relays firing.

All of this activity came after someone had come barreling down the road, raising the water level by - oh, about four to six inches.

The outside mirrors started to move - the right one pointing downward and the left one pointing outward - until they reached their stops and then kept right on trying.

The driver's seat now began lurching backward - an inch or two - then nothing. Then, another inch or two. Then, nothing. Finally, it had worked itself back as far as the track would allow it to go.

Frustrated, whichever electrical gremlin was doing the driving decided to recline the backrest - ALL the way back.

Of course, given that it seemed I may be spending the night there, that was indeed a convenient position.

I've been asked why I didn't just leave the car and walk the ten blocks home. Well, the wreckers (all of which are raised up and have heavy suspensions) were TOWING cars out of the water like mad. Leaving the car would have clearly meant - paying the impound fee and such. Plus, I could see that the water was receding.

But, wait!

Now come the sightseers!

Without any purpose, the flow of pick ups, Hummers and their ilk ramped up until I felt sure I was tied to the little boat dock in front of my cousin's cottage.

Finally, the water had receded enough that I could try to make it home, but now I was blocked in by three wreckers, each of whom kept telling me to try a different route home - impossible to act upon because of the position of their buddies.

She started and ran just fine, but .. she's now next door, the interior pulled out, battery disconnected, drying out. Hopefully, the electronics modules that so objected to immersion will be able to recover.

Moral of this story:

No matter how careful or measured one's response to danger may be, you can always count on someone to barge past heedlessly, imperiling your safety.

So, to the forty or so pickups, wreckers, SUVs and especially to the wild eyed woman plowing through at over twenty miles an hour in her Expedition, thanks.

From Victoria, who never wanted the role of Christine.

People are wigging out

2010-06-15T22:27:00.000-05:00

At least, that's my take on it. Maybe it's just that I'm NOT wigging out, and that has me seeing other people's anxiety from a different perspective.

I'm working up a couple of things; a big brain dump, a long article about logic fallacies and common emotional reasoning fallacies (complete with a code index, so that we can rate incoming emails and news items more easily), some fundamentals about consumerism, and stuff like that there.

Also, I'm going to be adjusting my layout and such to coordinate with my other two websites with the intention of operating a triptych of websites - each with a complimentary theme:

Can I deduct that? (tax matters explained)
Can they do that? (issues with collection agencies)
Can you believe that? (there here little creation)

I'm excited about all of that!

It's getting late, and I'm pushing myself to NOT be a late bird surfing the interwebs, so I'll get back to work and you can watch this space for developments!

downwithtyranny Congressional candidate knowledge test

2010-06-03T17:36:00.000-05:00

I was flabbergasted when I read all of this, I follow this guy like a Baytown 'skeeter. Send in your answers to downwithtyranny@gmail.com ASAP

Every answer is the name of someone running for Congress in 2010. Just send your answers to downwithtyranny@gmail.com, and if you're the first one to get 'em all right, you win the box of brand-new cool CDs (all genres). Are these CDs any good? Sure-- and if there are any you don't like... there's always eBay. Yes, that simple!

* This candidate's opponent is not just a congressman but also a real estate speculator who bought some worthless land, earmarked an $8 million dollar road to his new property and then sold it for a $450,000 profit a few months later.

* Now a multimillionaire, he knows more about auto theft than anyone in Congress since he has stolen so many autos himself.

* What candidate wrote a book about a famous rapper?

* His opponent, a Christmas-tree farmer, got into Congress and immediately offered a resolution to commend... yes, Christmas tree farmers.

* This roly-poly incumbent was arrested in his car with a drug-addicted prostitute giving him head.

* This unimportant congressional figure spent nearly one day in three on the links for all of 2009.

* This candidate is a direct linear descendant of a Prophet of God.

* Her opponent was disqualified from being the head of the Intelligence Committee because she was caught in an act of espionage for another nation; still not arrested, though.

* Her opponent was the chair of Lieberman for President, but she doesn't put that on her resume much.

* This 16-term congressman steered hundreds of millions of dollars in earmarks in exchange for contributions to his campaign committee and PAC but had the clout to get rid of two consecutive U.S. attorneys looking into the little matter.

* This guy was just denied a contest against an ex-congressman arrested while driving drunk to visit his second family in the Virginia suburbs. (Hint: there are no Mormons in this story.)

* He's the only member of the Republican House leadership who voted against Bush's no-strings-attached bailout for Wall Street banksters on both September 29 and October 3, 2008.

* Several Democrats can say they were Bush's "favorite Democrat," but only this one agreed to co-sponsor his bill to gut Social Security.

* Tuesday there's a bona fide progressive running against a conservative corporate shill in a closely contested runoff for an Arkansas House seat. Who's the conservative corporate shill?

* A staunch advocate of "Drill, Baby, Drill" and a protector of Wall Street banksters, this far right Republican managed to beat a blind rabbi in 2008 and will face an active member of the New York Guard this year.

* Another Palin-endorsed candidate flopped spectacularly Tuesday night. Who did Palin want her sadly underperforming candidate to run against in November?

* Which Democratic congressman in New York has drawn the most primary challengers?

* There are quite a few rock musicians in Congress, but this is the only one who was ever in a big band with a real smash hit (which he wrote).

* In 2008 this clown almost lost his election to a no-nonsense Democrat who is challenging him again. So this year fear got the better of him, and he just changed to another district.

* When it comes to key issues and tight votes, this guy has crossed the aisle to vote with the Republicans more frequently than any other Democrat.

So there you have it. Google is allowed. The first person to send all 20 correct answers wins the box of CDs. This contest is brought to you by Blue America, and if you want to donate to any of our candidates, here's the endorsement page. You don't have to donate in order to win.

Bill White Speaks in Llano -- Fed Up

2010-06-03T10:58:00.000-05:00

I am unreasonably and suddenly smitten

2010-05-25T21:58:00.000-05:00

Oh, I know - it's a car. Again again. However, it's not a car I was ever expecting to be in deep smit with.

The Acura ZDX crossover has me by the eyelashes. It's ravishing! It's well reviewed! The interior colors have luscious names like "Sumatra" leather!

Even though I was yesterday all about the Bentley line, an Acura is more pedestrian and achievable.

I started watching "Capitalism: A Love Story" today. That, and some articles I've been reading about the efforts to dismantle social security have given me some ideas. Yes, they have.

Watch this space for details.

Stuff that's just kind of amazing, I guess.

2010-05-24T22:34:00.000-05:00

Amazing to me, perhaps.

So, I live in an apartment that is nearly fifty years old. I haven't yet been able to persuade Wes to spend a few weeks here ripping out the kitchen and replacing it with a new, fabulous "WES-O-MATIC", but I love it nonetheless.

The bathroom mirrors displayed the years of unkempt residency - they resisted the best efforts I knew - straight ammonia, 10% bleach solution, 10% alcohol solution and Bon Ami cleanser.

Last night, I was thinking about cleaning the windows in the car - and grabbed my Meguire's Quik Mist and Wipe glass cleaner. Then, I thought .. naw, it's too bloody hot outside. But, the QM&W sat on the counter for a bit. And I began to think..

Naw, it just came in a gift box with the wax I wanted. It's just some schlock thing that won't .. naw.

It continued to taunt me. The Meguire's QM&W.

Finally, I broke down and took it and its companion microfibre cloth into the bathroom. Removed everything from the counter (the bathroom needing cleaned, after all) and turned off the halogen mini-spots. They don't respond really well to cool spray, I've heard.

I read the instructions, than quickly misted and wiped.

HOLY CRAP! The water marks on the side mirror that had resisted everything save for the Borg invasion were GONE!

(mist, mist, mist)

Lord have mercy.

It even pulled the schmutz off'n my ever-so-cute Marvin the Martian night light.

Astonished.

Still haven't been outside with it. Maybe tomorrow morning.

A few weekends ago, I was at the Ace Hardware (the good one in Tanglewilde) and I just love hanging out there. They are just so friendly and happy and thoughtful - I finally got the little butter thingie that I'd had my eye on, but I avoided the incredible Ninety Dollar wind chime that really wants to come live with me. I had paid, and was almost headed to the car when I remembered that I have been wanting to get an indoor clothes drying rack AND they sell'em at Ace.

And they had ONE.

Well, briefly, they had one. Then, they had NONE.

AND I LOVE THAT THING!

My apartment has a stacked Barbie Dream Washer/dryer - thus a full washer load goes right up on the rack. The clothes dry beautifully, and I am so pleased to NOT be running the dryer TWICE to dry a load of clothes.

Worked out my teaching schedule for Summer/Fall semesters today, and I *think* I'll be able to go to Oshkosh AND take a big-assed driving vacation for the month of August.

Buick go places.

The last few days, I've been wishing/hoping/praying for something to do when I'm not in front of a classroom and this afternoon - I think just that thing waltzed through the door! How cool is that?!

So, I'm sleepy and about to hit the sack for the night. Maybe I'll even go into the office in the MORNING.

I've never once used the word "Bored" in seven years of posts

2010-05-20T23:52:00.000-05:00

Never once, except twice when I quoted someone else in their context, and not as a referent to my own boredom.

I don't think I've ever been bored before. People would say that they're bored, people harp on it all of the time, and I don't understand the concept. In fact, I would deride people who bitch about boredom (with my inside voice) because I figured that they're just lazy, or .. well, lazy.

But, I think that's what's ailing me now.

I'm not giving over half my life to some non-profit.

I don't have crazy people chasing me around (generally speaking).

I don't have any addicts or addictions.

I don't have any friends who aren't working full time, or in a relationship, or in another county.

Everything both at home and office is put away, unpacked, organized, cleaned, polished, labeled, dusted, or disposed of.

Aside from feeding myself, and deploying a microfiber dust rag every now and again, there is no maintenance. Three loads of laundry over the weekend. Now that I'm using an indoor clothes rack for drying, I don't even have to keep an ear tuned to the dryer's buzzer.

I don't have any unfinished business roiling my dreams.

And, I have no plans. Well, not until Saturday afternoon when I have five hours of mental cake-walking to engage in. And, I'll have to buy gas before then.

No visitors. No crises. I can't work up a good outrage about anything going on, because none of it is new, different or unexpected. We're ALL getting what we paid for, voted for, asked for and expected.

I have been asked by a number of people to lend a hand with this or that project, but it's all spec. Speculative. Non-income producing, except for maybe.

Maybe this is why people get married. I don't know.

If I had a job, I would have something to do, somewhere to go, something to interact with - but -

It took me all of fifteen minutes, searching on Amazon tonight for a Kindle series of perfect opera librettos (64 in all) to buy, download and research.

I read two sample books on my Kindle for PC tonight. Watched a DVD that was truly delightful (Joyeux Noel - about the first Christmas following the outbreak of war in 1914).

After Saturday's class, I have a brief dinner engagement and then nothing until the following Saturday, or maybe the previous Wednesday.

I guess it's a good thing that I didn't win last night's Powerball, because I'd be gone so fast looking for something new to engage in - you'd wonder what happened to me.

Sometime in June, that is, when you come back to thinking about why I've been so quiet.

I've been distracted

2010-05-06T08:36:00.001-05:00

Wisdom, says Sternberg, is the tacit knowledge that lets a person balance two sets of things. First, wise people are able to balance their own needs, the needs of others, and the needs of people or things beyond their immediate interaction (e.g., institutions, the environment, or people who may be adversely affected later on). Ignorant people see everything in black and white--they rely heavily on the myth of pure eveil--and they are strongly influenced by their own self-interest.

The wise are able to seee things from others' points of view, appreciate shades of gray, and then choose or advise a course of action that works out best for everyone in the long run.

Aristotle says that being well or being happy is "an activity of soul in conformity with excellence or virtue." Aristotle wasn't saying that happiness comes from giving to the poor and supressing your sexuality.

Happiness Hypothesis Book,

J. Haidt

The new (and seemingly quite pointless gay site) Fabulis has posed the question "Who's your real life hero?"

Here is my answer, which their site won't post - again - not quite sure WHY Fabulis, but maybe not SO Fabulis:

There are many people whose life path is heroic to me.

My dad and his siblings, for overcoming abject poverty, family violence, separation, foster families, abuse and yet all completing college, having successful careers and building middle class lives.

My father's mother, who made sure all of that happened.

The other day, though, my hair dresser told me her life's story -

Fled Vietnam at the age of 17 with her 13 year old brother in a small boat

Spent four years in Singaporean and Indonesian refugee "camps"

Injured in the camp so badly she could never have children

Finding a US church as a sponsor for her, her husband and her brother to enter the US

She and her husband working two full time jobs to put her brother through high school and college with no public assistance of any kind

Getting trained as a licensed hair stylist, working very hard until she and her husband had their own shop.

Still working hard, every day. Expecting no hand outs, having no complaints, feeling blessed by life.

She's here in this country, she's a citizen, she's employing people, giving them a place to work, her brother is married, has children and has an upper level career -

She's a hero. Every day.

I hope she doesn't go to Arizona now.

Dixie Carter receives her homage but not from me

2010-04-10T21:25:00.000-05:00

Well, I guess she must have kicked the bucket. Probably having a nigger democrat in the White House was more than her system could take.

I loved her work, and thought the world of her until the evening of the Texas/Wyoming ball following W's 2001 inauguration. I was already in a piss-poor mood, and working my way toward being pissed (as in drunk). Before W and Darth Vader arrived in the ballroom to address the minions, Dixie Carter took the stage and suggested to everyone that they, the winners, needed to extend a hand of friendship and conciliation across the aisle. She then launched into 10 minutes of rabid diatribe against liberals, the Clintons (who were no liberals, thank you) and the intellect of anyone who supported or voted for such people.

THEN, Kelsey Grammer joined her on the stage and they bantered back and forth a while.

After that evening, I've never given a moment's attention to the work of either, and I've chosen to leave or turn off any work by them that inadvertently came in front of me.

I'm sorry she's gone for the loss of her talent, and I know the pain of those who loved her as a person. However, she used her platform to spread hate and violence and for that I have no shame in saying "Good Riddance".

The Intelligence Debate - Hitchens on the Catholic church as a force of evil

2010-04-04T23:08:00.001-05:00

The Intelligence² Debate - Christopher Hitchens (Unedited)
Uploaded by Xrunner17. - Check out other Film & TV videos.

The Intelligence Debate - Stephen Fry - more on this in a moment

2010-04-04T21:38:00.000-05:00

The Intelligence² Debate - Stephen Fry (Unedited)
Uploaded by Xrunner17. - Classic TV and last night's shows, online.

Economizing and being green

2010-03-31T21:29:00.000-05:00

"What a fool I was, what a dominated fool,
to think that you were the earth and the sky,
What a fool I was, What an elevated fool,
What a mutton-headed dote was I!
No, my reverberated friend,
you are not the beginning and the end."

"Without You", from the musical "My Fair Lady" by Lerner and Lowe

It occurs to me that the drum thumping we're hearing about "being green" is just a new way to sell us stuff.

I bought my first car of my own choosing in 1977. I bought my first brand new car in 1978. I have slavishly followed the introduction of new chrome trim, of slightly more horsepower, of new upholstery since well before I had a driver license.

I have spent, in a rough estimate, $117,800 in depreciation since 1977, plus all of the interest to have a few weeks of feeling like I had the newest, most up to date ..whatever.

Call it an even hundred fifty thou. To have six brand spankin' new GM cars and three brand spankin' new Ford cars that made me feel like I was the leader of the pack for a total of three months each, so twenty-seven months.

Five Thousand, Five Hundred, Fifty Five and 55/100 Dollars per month. $185.00 a day.

The point of this is that last week, I drove my twelve year old Buick to Dallas and back the same day. She achieved more than 28 miles per gallon on the freeway.

I paid $3800 for her, and she'll be worth $3800 tomorrow, next week and next year.

There is no loan, so she's costing me nothing, sitting out there in the car port. Just the insurance, which is only sixty bucks a month.

What do I give away by not having the newest, the most up to date car?
Fuel economy? Nothing.
Comfort? Nothing.
Gadgets? Nothing, once I install a new stereo into her.
Unique appearance? Find another one; I'm practically driving a flying saucer
Environmental emissions? Sure, my emissions aren't as clean as a brand new car - BUT I'm not consuming any new natural resources, or contributing to any new emissions related to the manufacturing process.

So, owning the car costs me nothing but the repairs, the gas mileage is equivalent to nearly anything sold newly, my safety features are up to date, my toys and features are up to date and this thing will NEVER cost me interest or depreciation.

And yet, the pull of the new car is so very strong.

But I'm done being a fool.

The Dark Side of Women

2010-03-28T16:49:00.000-05:00

(a little story forwarded to me by my Dark Side gal pal Ruth)

A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day by finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second. In the third, everything had just been reduced by 50 percent when her mobile phone rang.

It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible car accident and was in critical condition in the ICU. The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she'd be there as soon as possible.

As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the boutiques. She decided to get in a couple more shops before heading to the hospital. She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful chocolate cake slice, compliments of the last shop . She was jubilant. Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital. She saw the woman doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband's condition.

The doctor glared at her and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your shopping trip, didn't you!? I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit!

It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will more than likely be the last shopping trip you ever take! For the rest of his life he will require round-the-clock care. And he will now be your career!"

The woman, overcome with guilt, broke down and sobbed.

Then the woman doctor chuckled and said, "I'm just messing with you. He's dead. Show me what you bought."

Just a little larger

2010-02-15T10:32:00.001-06:00

A weekend of dichotomy.

The laundry room is working again, thank GAWD. Three loads of laundry, completed. Clothing put up.

Yesterday was very satisfying, leading review courses at UH. Had dinner with Lance, which was also very satisfying.

Today, just light housework and the aforementioned laundry.

We haven't heard a peep from that birther Orly Tait lately - did she go underground?

Newly fixated upon -

Samson, the white chow chow
the 1/100th scale remote control Titanic model
changing my own patterns and focus - some more
finding my own "style", rather than adapting to incorporate hand me downs
setting my own path, rather than reacting

Still fixated upon -

Stock #4404

I am loving the sunny morning, and I am LOVING having my desk chair again.

It's amazing how much of what we want or need is already right there waiting for us. My leather desk chair, non-working these last couple of years, has been lingering around and hoping for salvation for some time. My "other" desk chair, which was never very comfortable, had a working support strut, but was missing other important parts.

I was going to figure out how to pull apart the "good" but broken chair and fix it, and put the "bad" but mostly unbroken chair out by the curb and .. as it turns out, the bases for the two chairs were identical. With Dina's help, I swapped them out and VOILA! I have my "good" chair back and the "bad" chair is in pieces.

Dina was amazed at the expression on my face when we finally had the chair put together, in place and I sat down in it for the first time.

I must admit that it's VERY pleasing. Chairy, in fact.

I keep finding other elements that are just .. THERE when I need them; they fall to hand.

These are all very good things! And there will be happiness.

I'm starting to move into a place where life and its course are directed and chosen, rather than making do and settling. Exciting times!

Just my prognostication

2010-02-11T23:40:00.001-06:00

I've not before today been so very excited to make a friend with someone I have never met. Today, I saw an opportunity to send Dahlia Lithwick a compliment for her outstanding work in tracking the United States Supreme Court (referred to in the news and blog business as SCOTUS). While it may have seemed heavily frosted, I only expressed how I really felt and she added me as a friend.

I am honored and thrilled. She's the business, the dope, the real deal.

Monday night, I had also the great pleasure of having dinner with Lance at Johnny Carrabba's non-mainstream restaurant. We talked, as usual, about a great many things, and he asked me my thoughts about SCOTUS and their recent decision regarding the free speech of corporations to intercede in politics and elections.

In case you have been hiding in your living room with your color TV and your radial tires, hoping to be left alone, the Five Supremes (the fascisti plus Kennedy) decided that corporations had unlimited free speech rights, and could not be limited in that speech to how much money they spent to promote their own goals and ideas. Now, the only focus has been on the unlimited speech of corporations; their ruling also applies to individuals.

So, if you're an individual with unlimited funds, and you wish to produce a movie, a symphony, a television series to promote your political ideology, knock yourself out.

However, even Bill Gates pales in personal resource as compared to the likes of the multinational corporations that already hold sway over our governmental processes.

Bill Gates entire fortune approximates the quarterly profits of ExxonMobil, for instance.

Lance asked me what I thought the outcome of this decision would be.

As does my new FB friend Dahlia, I try to take a longer view toward things -

I think that indeed, there will be a Niagra Falls torrent of money into "soft" campaign manipulation - corporations can now create their own political ads, their own films, television programs, books, print ads, billboards, magazines, door hangars, push cards, polls, sky writers...

However, I think that the normal and unintended consequence of such decisions will far more quickly come to light here.

The "rights" offered by SCOTUS to political speech are not restricted to "citizen" corporations of these United States. That, plus the tendency of any organization or individual to hang itself when given enough rope will put a final stop to this entire Randian intrusion into our public affairs.

Hypothesis: Large, foreign corporation desires to take over "domestic" corporation. They create ads, movies, films, video, television imploring government action in FAVOR of their desire. Their "target" has not the resources to fight them off.

Per SCOTUS, that's just fine.

Hypothesis: Well established Congresscritter behaves in traditional manner, and publicly, legislatively supports "domestic" corporation against aggression, or supports any position antagonistic to large corporation. Large corporation create ads, movies, films, video, television directly in opposition to well established Congresscritter.

If something were worth, say, a couple of billion dollars in increased profits to any one corporation, why would they not open the financial floodgates?

The entire "race for the presidency" in 2008 consumed just over $1B (Billion. A thousand million in US counting.) If, say, the remaining "sisters" (no one remembers the Seven Sisters. Life used to be so poetic) got together to promote fossil fuels, they could dredge up over a billion dollars with (four? three?) phone calls.

How could well established politicians even begin to cope with a billion dollars of antiphony?

I'll tell you how -

Hypothesis: Congresscritters will have to abandon even the fiction that they are now representing "the People", as "the People" cannot financially compete with the newly right-ed corporate world.

Congresscritters will be whipsawed back and forth between whichever checkbook is screaming the loudest.

You know what's going to be fun about that?

The Congresscritters will HATE it. They'll hate every second of it. They can no longer maintain their fiction that they're elected to serve the people (this ad hominem does not include Alan Grayson of Orlando, bless the man) they can no longer ensure their own succession to their elected office, and even if they do the bidding of what seems to be the loudest checkbook, there will be no continuity in their ability to bet on the right horse.

The media and publication world will be awash in "creative" product that shills for more corporate profit.

Yes, we have that now. Product placement has given away to vaguely disguised creative product that exists solely to promote. Cynic though I may be, has it occurred to anyone that "Ugly Betty" is canceled shortly after all of the big designers and design houses have been featured thereon?

If you were a Veep in charge of increase profits (and your bonus) and you realized you could get your clothing successfully hawked at every Wal-Mart in the world by having glamorous models flounce around wearing them while being glamorized by the star designer him/herself, the whole while the advertising impact is subtly poured into the consumer's blood stream by a hinky, loveable heroine and amusing dialogue, wouldn't you haul out the checkbook?

It's actually CHEAPER to underwrite a season of a show like Ugly Betty than it is to throw down advertising in magazines, newspapers, internet banners, internet websites, social networking sites, radio, cable, television ...

"Hey, let's just underwrite or create a hit show!"

And the people won't realize that they're drinking the Kool-Aid.

All of it, all of it legitimized by the tortured "logic" of Justice Kennedy's law clerks. My new friend Dahlia has analyzed this, in a series of articles you can find starting with this one.

Did anyone notice that (so far as I could see) the ENTIRE house, EVERY Congresscritter stood and applauded the President's remarks castigating SCOTUS for this decision?

Why would they do that? Is it that they realize that the end to their gravy ladling is neigh?

If, to assure their own elected continuity, they have to create a Constitional amendment to reign in this insanity, so aptly predicted by Paddy Cheyefsky, the battle will be on between the real live little boy created by SCOTUS and known to use as the multi-national corporations and the Congresscritters who gladly labor in their behalf, but are unwilling to participate in an all out bloodbath.

You have meddled with the primal forces of nature, Mr. Beale, and I won't have it, is that clear?! You think you have merely stopped a business deal -- that is not the case! The Arabs have taken billions of dollars out of this country, and now they must put it back. It is ebb and flow, tidal gravity, it is ecological balance! You are an old man who thinks in terms of nations and peoples. There are no nations! There are no peoples! There are no Russians. There are no Arabs! There are no third worlds! There is no West! There is only one holistic system of systems, one vast and immane, interwoven, interacting, multi-variate, multi-national dominion of dollars! petro-dollars, electro-dollars, multi-dollars!, Reichmarks, rubles, rin, pounds and shekels! It is the international system of currency that determines the totality of life on this planet! That is the natural order of things today! That is the atomic, subatomic and galactic structure of things today! And you have meddled with the primal forces of nature, and you will atone! Am I getting through to you, Mr. Beale? (pause) You get up on your little twenty-one inch screen, and howl about America and democracy. There is no America. There is no democracy. There is only IBM and ITT and AT&T and Dupont, Dow, Union Carbide and Exxon. Those are the nations of the world today. What do you think the Russians talk about in their councils of state -- Karl Marx? They pull out their linear programming charts, statistical decision theories and minimax solutions and compute the price-cost probabilities of their transactions and investments just like we do.
We no longer live in a world of nations and ideologies, Mr. Beale. The world is a college of corporations, inexorably deter- mined by the immutable by-laws of business. The world is a business, Mr. Beale! It has been since man crawled out of the slime, and our children, Mr.Beale, will live to see that perfect world in which there is no war and famine, oppression and brutality --one vast and ecumenical holding company, for whom all men will work to serve a common profit, in which all men will hold a share of stock, all necessities provided, all anxieties tranquilized, all boredom amused. And I have chosen you to preach this evangel, Mr. Beale.
(Ned Beatty as as Arthur Jensen, to Howard Beale played by Peter Finch, in the movie Network, 1976, written by Paddy Chayefsky)

So, the battle is now no longer between nations. With the advent of this torrent of corporate communication, the battle will quickly become that of Dassault and EADS versus Boeing, Hyundai versus Tata, AT&T versus Deutsche Telekomm, SkyTeam versus Star, Con-Agra versus A-D-M.

Each one of those corporate leaders will want THEIRS to be the surviving holding company, and the new generals will be the investment bankers who will profit from every skirmish, whether won or lost.

I promised prognostication. Here it is - via metaphor, then clarification.

When you own a house, and you have a dripping water pipe, most of the time you may wonder from time to time why your water bill has increased but you note nothing amiss.

After a time, the drip grows into a constant trickle, and you may find a little dampness, which you mop up, and wonder whether maybe you shouldn't look into it. Yet, there is no impetus.

After a further time, the trickle becomes a steady leak, which undermines foundations, saturates floor plates, and risers, rafters and studs. You may smell some mustiness, or some dampness - but, there's been a lot of rain after all.

One evening, you come home from your day at the modern salt mines - you have labored with no purpose, you have striven for fewer wages, you have accepted longer hours, and shorter vacations, and fewer benefits - and you find that the ceiling has collapsed in a soggy heap of destroyed sheet rock, water pours down from a clearly broken pipe and the floor is ankle deep in water. The carpeting is ruined, the furniture is wet to the knee, the electronics are shorted out -

Will your insurance cover it?

Hey, guess what - the insurance companies have managed to get that considered part of a flood policy, which you didn't buy, because after all - it doesn't flood where you are.

What SCOTUS has done here is to apply the heavy pipe wrench to loosen the pipe right where it's been leaking for thirty years.

And we, the People are about to walk into a soggy, wet mess and find we have no insurance.

In the longer view, I feel that we have begun to see the force that will bring down this house we have been living in. This house with the leaky pipes, that has for so long seemed sound and sturdy.

The salesman has been telling us all along that this is just the right house for us.

In parody of the current featured saleswoman, the People are about to question just how well that "Ayn-ey Rand-ey style of governing" has worked out for us.

(cross posted on Daily Kos)

The heat is ON

2010-02-11T08:46:00.001-06:00

And not in a kitschy, 80's music sort of a way. The heat is on, because it's fricking COLD outside (hence inside).

I awoke two hours ago, and got up - it's thunder-y and gray outside. I still need to do laundry, but .. it's too cold to schlepp it outside I think.

It's raining consistently outside now. I have a done of work to accomplish (again) today, so - nearly time to run off!

I *finally* drove the new Camaro the other day. I've been to three dealers previously, and been told a.) we don't let anyone DRIVE them but buyers, b.) you'll have to give a $500 deposit to test drive it, and c.) we have no new ones, only used ones with zero mileage and a $4500 per unit markup.

However, that nice Joe Mahlow at Mac Haik Chevy was a unique experience in the auto selling world. Allow me to share with you my experience that recommends him quite highly:

He answered my internet inquiry. He spelled everything correctly, and answered the questions posed cogently and specifically.
He greeted me, took me to the car we were discussing, answered questions, and seemed to be understanding that an internet buyer processes and decides differently than does a "traditional" buyer
He was very amenable to a follow up visit, as my time was limited.
He responded to my follow up email and answered my questions, and shared available choices with me

If you're anywhere in Southeast Texas, and if you're considering a Chevy, I recommend most highly that you talk to Joe.

I LOVE THE NEW CAMARO!

It drives very, very well - it's actually a sweet drive.

YES, it's tank-like in terms of outside viewing, but have any of the (under 40) reviewers so complaining about that issue EVER driven (when they were young and feeling their oats) a pre-1981 Camaro? We are not talking about floor to ceiling windows here.

I think that a lot of reviewers miss the point entirely about the new Camaro - and, largely, the new Mustang and Challenger - these are not cars to provide for sensible transportation of an owner and their belongings/friends. These are cars that are to provide persons who are a bit older a connection to that sense of pride, excitement and uniqueness that they enjoyed prior to the ascension of a B roll actor to the Presidency in having owned one of these cars in their youth.

I can appreciate that perhaps the Challenger has some features that are better than the Camaro, and that the redesigned Mustang may be a better driving and handling car than is either the Challenger or the Camaro, but the point is utterly missed.

If GM/Ford/FiatChry fka DamilerCo can capture the hearts and memories of a few tens of thousands of the millions upon millions of people who owned or were thwarted in their desires for their youthful dream car, they'll succeed mightily. Just as has VW succeeded in this country with the New Beetle, the 'Murrican manufacturers are tapping into an aging market demographic of people who just want to drive what they felt good about BACK THEN, but updated for fuel economy, safety and convenience.

I, for one, am captivated. I was never a Mustang man, and although I loved the Pentastar ponies, I was a Camaro kook from the get-go. My hip and crazy cool Aunt Liz had a 1969 Camaro RS/SS convertible - black, black buckets, black top, hidden headlamps, Rallye II wheels, full console, four little secondary gauges on the console ..

That. Car. Was. Cool. Embodied.

Okay, so it drove atrociously, it rode poorly, it had no back seat, a mail slot trunk, and it was impossible to see out of, unless the top was down - BUT ..

My 1979 Camaro remains the favorite car I've ever owned. Ever. Ever ever. But, that has little to do with its build quality, its ride quality, its handling ..

It was how I FELT.

The 2010 Camaro gets me back there.

Midnight Moonlight matinee

2010-02-08T07:50:00.000-06:00

I am up, apartment tidied and readied, everything organized to take to the car, about to have breakfast and head out (post shower) which at 0714 is pretty damned amazing. I normally am stepping into consciousness at this hour..

Had a dream last night about writing unusual financial articles regarding cars - was reviewing used sales by model and considering increases in sales together with average reported used sales values to determine which cars were GOING to be dogs, and which levels of trade could suggest mechanical/reliability issues. The dream then segued into the Chevy Camaro, and I was driving one (loaned by someone; I still didn't like spending my money on cars) - the hood wouldn't latch, the valance between the radiator and front fascia was so weak and flimsy that it seemed it would break even more than it had, and the boot cover (this car, in the dream, was a convertible) wouldn't latch down - the only way to GET it to stay down was to put the top UP.

But, then I got in it and drove it like I was JoDB (JoDB is my friend who used to race Porsche cars and now sells Audis) or something. THAT part was awesome. Especially since we were parked inside of the old Manhattan post office, which had also been the New York Fed. I had a delightful but willful dark chocolate colored male Chow Chow dog who didn't like the back seat of the Camaro so much.

And then .. I woke up.

Not as disturbing as previous nightly dreams, but..

We're currently experiencing pollen from both ash and juniper (cedar) which, according to the "newz" is "mild to moderate".

I protest that they are not wise to the ways of the ash and juniper pollens. I've been crazy whacked out from the pollens now for more than three weeks. Pollen.com suggests that the pollen is "medium-high" which again calls into question the ability of those at our local "newzpaper" to .. um .. read.

If you're one who dreads pollination, you should zip on over to pollen.com and fill out a free profile. Without having to subscribe to a barrage of ads from big pharma, you can check out pollen counts by zip code, what is in season and get a four day allergy forecast by email each morning.

If you're allergic to cat dander, all I can suggest is to stay away from the old lady on the corner with the cats.

WHOOP DOODLE!

2010-01-29T20:05:00.000-06:00

San Francisco! I love this place.

On the way here, I sat next a guy flying ultimately to Sacramento. His inbound flight had been delayed by the heavy thundershowers in Houston early this morning, and he mis-connected to his early SMF flight. He was routed onto my flight, and then to a connection to Sacto.

He and the other woman in our row were both kvetching about Continental. Basically, Continental was clearly inadequate because they didn't call the guy's original outbound back to the gate.

"I could see it through the window, they'd pushed back but they were just sitting there!"

I said nothing. I just kept reading my book.

The woman on the aisle started in - our flight was scheduled at 11:05, and it was 11:08 - they had already told us we had a very minor maintenance issue - but SHE just KNEW that we were going to be sitting there - captive on the plane.

Moments later, we were told that the maintenance issue was that a seat back wouldn't lock, and mechanics were working on it. She just KNEW that they were making an excuse - Continental was clearly about to cancel the flight.

More people boarded - a steady trickle of people looking for overhead space and a seat.

Now, she just KNEW that Continental was holding out flight to accommodate a few other passengers, that they could cancel another Continental flight later today.

They then closed up the boarding door, but we didn't push back right away. We were now about twelve minutes after scheduled departure.

My row-mates now began to postulate on just how late we were going to be; my SMF bound neighbor was convinced he was now going to get stuck in SFO, as he'd clearly miss his connection.

The flight crew then told us that the jetway wasn't retracting, that the ground techs were working on it, and that they expected to arrive on time in spite of the late departure.

"Now, why would they say THAT?" More speculation.

I kept reading my book. I reflected on my own judgment of their conversation, and decided I needed to take a chill pill.

We were flying on a brand-spanking new airplane, with in seat DirecTV at every seat. We had six flight attendants, were served a free hot meal, had three drink services, and we arrived on the dot. Not a single moment later than the schedule had suggested.

As we taxied into the gate (without delay), my seat mate was suggesting that he had nearly taken a cab across Houston to Hobby Airport, to catch a Southwest flight home.

My ability to hold my tongue evaporated.

"Yes, I've heard that they have better weather"

"Huh? At Hobby?"

"No. Southwest. They have far better weather than does Continental"

I mean, really? We just flew across the continent in a brand new, clean, safe, comfortable airplane, you just got to watch two feature films AND Fox News at your seat, you were fed for free, we arrived right on time AND for three hundred dollars?

A trip from Houston to San Francisco just fifty years ago would have taken a day. Seventy years ago would have taken two and a half. A hundred and fifty years ago, it would have taken MONTHS.

I have a lot more to say about this issue, but I'm gonna stop bitching, and go with David to have some Goat Hill pizza

Midnight Nightmare Moonlight multi-plex

2010-01-27T08:19:00.000-06:00

Involuntarily and unwittingly joining a Mafia-like organization involving rental apartments
Lots of dreams in which my mother is a significant actor
Speaking one last time in church, with hundreds of devoted patrons, and David Boreanaz as the minister
Mayhem and mystery

Please tell me it's just sinus related, due to the fact that all of the trees are pollinating...

Environmentally unsound, but still worth doing --

2010-01-24T19:59:00.000-06:00

This weekend's "honey do" list (for me, from me and by me) -

Laundry
Clean the apartment
Wax the car
Work on my exterior signage for tax season
Help a friend with some demand letters tomorrow at lunch
Try to get my WordPress install finished so I can start putting up content
Photograph/describe/upload listings for eBay
Write at least four chapters of book #1
Outline (new) book #6
Read the rest of Dan Brown's new book
Map out the 4G integrated vehicle system I want designed/installed

I just don't know how to interpret documentation about class 2 data buses, PHP or MySQL.

Yet.

So, when I moved to Houston in 1981, we had just finished a period where arrested individuals of color could be found floating face down in the Bayou with their hands behind their backs. That time, thankfully, has passed, but I continue to object people throwing things into the Bayou.

However - I am oft motivated to ignore my own feelings about the Bayou and express my frustration and displeasure in exactly the same way that the po-leece used to do.

Point in fact - WordPress.

Point in fact - the intense pusillanimous political pissing contest

Point in fact - people who drive trucks that are too large for parking spaces, and block traffic with them

Point in fact - the notion that government is incompetent, therefore tax collections should be denied government, but government should continue to supply road maintenance, infrastructure improvement, fire and police protection, be fully staffed at all times, have no waiting lines or fees, and be Doris Day perky while doing so.

Point in fact - people who want airfare to be $200, regardless of where they are flying, but then expect champagne, no line, a hot meal, unlimited baggage allowance and no weather, no delays, and to be first up and first off the airplane.

Point in fact - people who refuse to leave their cell phones idle during a movie or theater performance.

That is a whole class of people about whom I wouldn't mind reading that they were found floating face down in the bayou with their cell phone clenched in their hands - behind their backs.

Not paying it forward, just throwing it forward

2010-01-15T21:35:00.000-06:00

I offer this with the caveat that I have assembled these facts in only a couple of hours of research and a history from my own memory of having watched all of this, and followed the bouncing bank ball. The story is essential accurate, but isn't represented to be a thorough and complete examination.

Early today, Guy sent me a portion of an article from the New York Times that points out JP Morgan Chase may have made over $12,000,000,000 in profits last year, but that they are losing a bunch of money on their consumer credit operation.

Chase’s consumer businesses, however, are still hemorrhaging money. Chase Card Services, its big credit card unit, lost $2.23 billion in 2009 and is unlikely to turn a profit this year. Chase retail services eked out a $93 million profit for 2009, though it posted $399 million annual loss in the fourth quarter. To try to stop the bleeding, the bank agreed to temporarily modify about 600,000 mortgages. Only about 89,000 of those adjustments have been made permanent.

Here's the thing - Chase, back when it was Chemical and Chase (does anyone remember that Chemical acquired Chase Manhattan to cover over their own dreadful reputation in 1996?) had very little in the way of credit card operations.

Bank One "merged" with Chase in 2004. It was running for cover because of .. losses in its card services unit. At the time, Bank One was the largest credit card issuer in the country (I think - if not THE largest, one of the largest). It became that by swallowing up First USA - which WAS an "innovator" and the fourth largest issuer of Visa and MasterCard.

Why did it buy First USA? First USA was up to its earrings in desperation.

First USA was founded as MNet in 1985 - a division of MCorp, which was originally the Mercantile Trust Company of Dallas, Texas. MCorp (and its banking subsidiary MBank) aggressively expanded during the initial go-go years of the 1980s, and established a huge credit card operation, issuing over 1.3 Million credit cards.

This will be amusing and important in a moment, but the banking operations of MBank were sold to Bank One for.. a bag of oranges in the late 1980s

MCorp, its growth dampened by over expansion, sold its best assets (is this not the most oft repeated story in American business? Expand wildly, mostly on borrowed money, sell off the best elements in desperation, then what's left folds up like a cheap tent) and the first to go was its highly profitable credit card business. Sold to Lomas and Nettleton (another storied name, lost to history) it became Lomas Bank, and started buying up everything that was issuing credit cards. Bright Banc (I haven't thought of them in twenty years) and Dollar Dry Dock were swallowed up and then .. wait for it .. Lomas ran into financial trouble and .. sold off Lomas Bank to a spin off, financed by Merrill - and run by the SAME EXECUTIVES THAT MADE THIS.. oh, I can't go on.

Now, they're called First USA. And they're the 13th largest issuer of credit cards. But, they have no depository bank upon which to build their massive issue of unsecured debt. AND, they represent the beginning of the sub-prime curve, Bright Banc having been one of the first issuers of First Premier type, nearly 100% APR credit cards to people with atrocious credit.

They owed $2.1 Billion in 1992 (when that really meant something - about $3.2 Billion in 2009 dollars). So, they raised money - in the highly fashionable way of selling a very small portion of the outstanding stock for a whale of a lot of money, making their own holdings immensely valuable. Then, they can release the un-offered stock into the market at the "market" price, reaping huge profits.

First USA focused on people who carried large balances, rather than paying them down each month. They introduced variable rate credit cards. In 1994, they were huge. The financial media spoke of them in divine terms.

Maybe you remember that Bank One was a merged bank of Bank One (Ohio) and FirstChicagoNBD (which was itself a combination of four of the largest banks in Detroit and Chicago).

I will let this quote demonstrate that First USA was a black hole by 1997:

In its decision, the Court held that Old Banc One Shareholders who purchased their stock after the August 1998 Prospectus was disseminated would have been more likely to vote against the merger had information regarding problems plaintiffs allege at Banc One's credit card division, First USA Bank, N.A., been disclosed before the merger.

Hey, so that court decision was in 2004. Guess what else happened then?

Bank One sold itself to Chase.

Chase, known for conservative management, acquired the leading combined "go go" big bank in the country, including their enormous sucking sound known as "Bank One Card Services".

Then, just to make SURE that they were well positioned, they acquired Washington Mutual, the owners of Long Beach Mortgage (one of the largest sub-prime mortgage lenders) and Providian Financial (one of the largest sub-prime credit card issuers).

Is it any surprise at all that Chase is "hemorrhaging money"?

Let's review:

MBank, which exploded in expansion, failed.
MNet became Lomas Bank, which exploded in expansion, and failed.
MBank was given to Bank One Ohio for less than the physical plant asset value.
Texas Commerce Bank, exposed to huge loan losses in the oil market crash of the mid 1980's, sold itself to Chemical Bank.
FirstCity, which failed TWICE under the weight of enormous loans made in the energy industry, had the largest non-manufacturer auto loan business in the country.
Chemical Bank (still called Texas Commerce in Texas) acquired all of the assets of FirstCity.
Washington Mutual acquires Home Savings and expands to be the largest Savings and Loan in the country, competing directly against the huge "money center" banks (Citi, Chase, Wells, NCNB/Nations)
Chemical Bank, which had made huge loans to LDCs (Latin America, at high, variable rates of interest), causing political unrest (one must ask ones' self whether illegal immigration from Mexico would have occurred in the absence of Citibank and Chemical's massive loans to Mexico in the 1970s and 1980s that Mexico couldn't repay) acquired Chase Manhattan to gain Chase's pristine reputation.
Bank One, owner of First USA and MBank LIES to persuade FirstChicagoNBD shareholders to merge with it, providing almost seven years of cover for the credit card mess
Bank One, including FirstChicago "merges" with Chase nee Chemical.
Chase acquires Washington Mutual.

Who's going to acquire Chase? Note that I don't even discuss Chase's recent acquisition of Bearn Stearns.

How many times has the taxpayer bailed out this behemoth of over-expansion, risky lending, directors and "investment banks" profiting for themselves at the expense of "regular" stockholders?

Why is having megalithic financial institutions like this sensible?

P.S. - Just as with the seizure/closure of MBank, the seizure/closure of Washington Mutual has shareholders suing to regain some value for their lost stock positions, claiming that the FDIC acted to benefit Chase, rather than shareholders. Give it six years.

Current value currency conversions are approximate and are done for free on the Dollar Times website.

Put an Inflation Calculator on your site!

Overcast? Yes. Grumpy? No.

2010-01-15T20:19:00.000-06:00

The gentle sounds of rain on the skylight in my kitchen always makes me smile.

Why do I keep having dreams about my Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner? Last night, my trusty Dirt Devil and I went outside to vacuum out the trunk of Victoria Regina (whose butt I complimented yesterday on Twitter). There was dust and debris EVERYWHERE and the vacuum quietly pulled it all into itself.

Weird.

I think that this underscores the idea that dreams are frequently timely and vivid, but don't convey some huge meaning. It's the brain's playtime, and the things that one has been focusing on tend to star in the latest episode.

Except that I had a BIG dream the other night about a friend from high school.

I got SO MUCH DONE today, I'm just giddy. All of the filing that was within the four walls of my office is done, and done RIGHT. The 2009 income/expense documents and receipts are all sorted and organized. I even cleaned up computer folders.

It feels like FREEDOM. Applying myself to a very short list of tasks tomorrow, I will find that there is NOTHING in my life left undone.

Once fragged, no de-fragging

2010-01-13T21:53:00.000-06:00

De-fragging is just the next step after investing months of releasing so much "stuff" in my life - now, I'm releasing mental "stuff" in the way of projects either started and unfinished, or conceived but not started.

This all arose from my disassociating myself from the church, first intending that it be a ramping down of responsibility and activity, and then a total break. I began to get a sense of what additional time and mental energy would be available and then realized that I had a goodly number of OTHER mental and time vampires camped out in my head.

First, the stuff, then the relationships, now the unfinished business.

This is creating so much freedom and excitement for me!

I don't know that focusing on just the one thing is going to make me an international star, but I'm going to focus on it, finish it and finish it well to the best of my abilities.

More as it develops!

The Life of Reilly

2010-01-10T22:25:00.001-06:00

Funny how things work out.

Back in the 1970s, my mother's family had regular reunions, during which Uncle Woody would present his latest findings on the family lineage. He made several trips to Ireland to track back as far as he could, getting back to a single male in the 1840s.

As is most often the case, the grandkids weren't in the least bit interested. We'd wander off to the shuffleboard court, or to horse around near the lake when Uncle Woody would start his spiel. I knew that the family had come over to the New World during the potato famine and that was about all I was interested in.

A few years ago, I started noticing that most of the county names in Northern Michigan were identical to county names in Ireland, and that many of the city names were as well. This led to a very cursory review of Irish counties, during which I discovered that County Cavan was likely where my sole ancestor was from. Cavan, interestingly, means "Handsome" and Cavanagh means "Follower of Cavan", rendered here in more modern times as "Kevin.

County Cavan was devastated by the potato famine.

County Cavan for years was dominated by a single family - the O'Reillys. The O'Reillys were so powerful and wealthy that, in the 1600s, they had their own currency. Their success, power and wealth led to the very common phrase "The Life of Reilly".

Seemingly, my ancestor was not of that particular background.

It was a conversation with an extraordinarily handsome man from County Meath, adjacent to County Cavan that induced me to do a little more looking around. County Meath, lead to County Cavan, lead to "what's that mean" and now I know.

His name isn't Kevin, or it would be just TOO funny.

Just funny how things turn out.

Just a thought ..

2010-01-10T12:35:00.001-06:00

Just a little booster for those fading New Year's resolutions...

2010-01-10T12:31:00.000-06:00

Sunday without church

2010-01-10T12:28:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting in my slightly adjusted living room, enjoying the sunshine flooding in through the patio door and the dryness associated with having the heat on. It's still only 62 degrees (EPA Energy Star settings, remember?) but the windows aren't all covered with condensed water vapor.

Or, I guess it would be more accurate to say that the windows aren't covered in water droplets, as a result of condensation.

Church for today was called off due to the lasting temperatures, and that we have no heat in the building.

Don't get me wrong, every year in Houston the temperatures drop down like this, but the ground and the infrastructure doesn't cold soak as it has this year. We rarely get ice forming on the roads and ground.

So, the church is cold soaked today. My old theater buddy Erin posted on FB just a minute ago that her church didn't have heat today either, so don't think that something is/was WRONG that the place I've spent the last eight years of Sundays was too cold this morning.

Which is just fine, as I didn't want to go today anyway. I'm waiting for brunch with a sleepy friend, and then I'm going to work on some spec work projects. Spec, meaning no one's going to pay me for doing them up front - I may earn something from them later on.

Everything's dusted, everything's vacuumed and I just LOVE having a place that I can cruise through in no time flat, leaving everything nearly Edgar certified! I did NOT however shampoo the white upholstered dining chairs, which I think will be required soon.

Tax season is about to start and I'm READY. I've already heard from a few tax folks, and I just LOVE hearing from them. I know, you already think I'm nuts, but filling out forms and figuring out what dry strings of words mean is something I'm brilliant at, and that I can bring comfort to others doing that AND that they support me for doing that which I do well already is just symbiotically grand.

Douglas Hord

Create Your Badge

So, I gave in and turned on the heat

2010-01-09T19:35:00.000-06:00

And nothing happened. Nothing at all.

After sharing that the temperature has been between 58 and 64 in the apartment for days, I finally decided that it was time to bring the temperature up just a tad.

So, I switched the programmable thermostat to "heat" and confirmed that it was set for "Energy Star" programming.

Which keeps the heat at about 62 degrees. So, for the first hour that the heat was turned on, it didn't COME on.

Until just a moment ago. It will heat for a few minutes and then, it will shut off.

Why is it that people run their air conditioners until the temperature is below 70 in the summer, and then run their heaters until the temperature is above 75 in the winter?

The point I've been making is that a human can be quite comfortable between 62 and 70 degrees in the winter - you just have to THINK. Something most people refuse to engage in.

I still haven't turned on the heat (Saturday morning update edition)

2010-01-09T09:07:00.000-06:00

When I awoke this morning, I could tell it was a mite chillier in the bedroom than it had been the morning before. I was very comfortable all night, and as I set foot into the apartment, I didn't think it was all that much colder - it wasn't - 57. Another gloriously sunny day today suggests that there will be more solar heat collection today.

If I were to clean the apartment today, it would go a long way to keeping me warm and happy.

Still haven't turned on the heat (early evening update #3)

2010-01-08T22:19:00.000-06:00

Smug. Confident. Into the home stretch.

62 degrees here inside my little apartment, 26.7 and falling according to weatherbug, but a bit warmer than that on my balcony.

In a few moments, I'll be crawling into bed whence I shall commence producing prodigious amounts of body heat and will be toasty warm all night long.

Easy as pie!

And I STILL haven't turned on the heat (update)

2010-01-08T11:59:00.000-06:00

Temperature is holding at 59 degrees indicated, but I'm getting a bit chilled. I may have to get radical and put on some thermal drawers.

This may seem crazy to some, but I'm figuring that this isn't but a couple of degrees lower than what many people try to air condition their homes DOWN to when they sleep during the summer months.

It's bright and sunny, but it is chilled outside. I walked over to the leasing office for a minute and it was VERY brisk. I wasn't dressed as warmly as I will be later, but..

It's now noon, and the heating action of the day should start momentarily. Will I cave in later tonight and turn on the heat? Stay tuned...

And I STILL haven't turned on the heat

2010-01-08T09:23:00.000-06:00

Day (I have no idea) of my effort to make it through the winter (albeit in Houston). We have had an "arctic front" come through, but I remain committed to keeping my furnace turned OFF.

Why, you may ask?

Well, it's partly because I feel that most people are weenies when it comes to temperature variations. And, because I love very low electric bills.

And I hate the smell the heater makes when it fires up for the first time.

There is also a dash of feeling superior - admittedly, a fairly big dash.

Now, on to the details!

Last night, we apparently had a "hard" freeze. Here in Houstonia, that has a different meaning than it did in my childhood - it just means that the temperature was at or below 32 degrees last night. My heat saving techniques involve blocking drafts, absorbing heat from my downstairs neighbor (I figure since I get all of their cooking smells, I'm going to collect their heat as well) and bundling up a bit.

The indoor temperature has been hovering between 58 and 65 for the last few days, and this morning was no different. Today's solar collection is looking good, as it's relatively sunny outside and I'm expecting the indoor temperature to return to near 63 this afternoon, even though the outdoor mercury isn't scheduled to climb above 35.

I'd be surprised if we didn't make it over 45 today, the high temperature forecasts here are usually off and on the low side.

If I can make it to Saturday afternoon without turning on the furnace, I may have this project cracked for this winter! I may end up having to cheat by baking some fresh bread and allowing the gas oven to heat the place a smidge.

Maybe Nietzsche had a point -

2010-01-06T15:18:00.001-06:00

Nietzsche is oft quoted and little read (much as is the Bible). Most are familiar only with his statement from Twilight of the Idols "What does not kill me makes me stronger"

For years, that statement just hit me as "make wrong". As in, how can you not APPRECIATE my selfish, dramatic victimhood?

As I moved through my issues of self-worth and shame, the statement made more and more sense. Why, yes - as I pilot through the jetsam of my own making, it gets easier and easier. Now, I can own and feel it. I am stronger, and none of those things that had been giving me the willies killed me at all.

Almost twenty years ago, a rebirther told me that her understanding of rebirth (or reincarnation, if you would rather) was that whatever lessons I failed to learn during this life would be added to the lessons in the next life.

"What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: 'This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more' ... Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: 'You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine.' " - [§341] The Gay Science

That admonishment scared me and set me to deciding to buckle down and STUDY. I doubt that I'm done studying, but at least I've moved into a higher class recently.

People have long asserted that Nietzsche was an atheist, but I read his famous quote differently -

After Buddha was dead people showed his shadow for centuries afterwards in a cave, — an immense frightful shadow. God is dead: but as the human race is constituted, there will perhaps be caves for millenniums yet, in which people will show his shadow. And we — we have still to overcome his shadow! - §108The Gay Science

To me this suggests that people ignore the teachings and good works and instead live in the shadow of their chosen deity - they focus so intently on the shadow of the departed God that they cannot focus on themselves to apply the lessons to their own lives. They continue on as human beings - bigoted, blame-filled, fault-seeking victims of life who continue to wistfully look back at the shadow in the cave.

To live this way is to dishonor the hard work of the chosen Deity. It is to use the works of the Deity to blame and shame others without doing the dirty work of living those principles. I know that it is human nature to persist in feeling victimized and to look for ways to make oneself feel better by tearing others down. Most in ecclesiastical leadership (that I've met) engage in this behavior aggressively, turning any objection into additional blame toward the complainer.

It is my current belief (and I reserve the right to change this belief within the hour if I find other insight) that once a person reaches a place where they can clearly see and understand Nietzsche's statement about Buddha's shadow, they can begin to participate in spiritual pursuits free of that overruling draw to use spiritual teachings as a weapon against one's perceived enemies.

Where do we draw the line between

2010-01-05T22:34:00.000-06:00

Where do we draw the line between thoughts, beliefs and automatic responses CREATING and the same quiet thoughts warning us of danger signs we are ignoring?

A wise man told me at dinner last week that the voice that whispers warnings is drowned out by all of the reasons we want something to happen.

A couple of weeks ago and purely by accident, I regained contact with a man with whom I was very interested nearly a year ago. Even though the end of our conversations months back was very punitive, I ignored the whispering voice that said "Danger, Will Robinson". He came on like a runaway coal train, 40+ texts a day, phone calls, emails, flirtations, he couldn't wait to meet in person. After a few days of phone activity, I saved his number into my phone - again. And, that whisper was right there - "you'll just end up deleting this in a few days".

Yesterday, I did just that. Before doing so, I thought "why didn't I listen to that whisper?"

I've successfully listened to the whisper more often in these last months.

Just about a year ago, I had quite a lot of whisper - clangor, practically. Each interaction set off the gongs, but as was said at dinner the other night, my desires overrode any warnings.

Until my desires changed.

Then, all there were left were the warning tones.

My question is - since all thought creates, did I engage in creating these two mini-dramas, or was I creating it through ignoring and not honoring the warning intuition?

Only 85 posts last year

2010-01-01T11:45:00.000-06:00

This year, i shall strive to be more chatty.

Helpful hints as you start your New Year!

Use your camera phone!!

Huh?

How many times have you wished you could remember where you parked your car, what that bottle of wine was, what an address was, the license number of a car that dinged your door, some book you want to read - nearly anything!

TAKE A PHOTO WITH YOUR PHONE!

No note paper. No pens necessary. No misplaced notes. No more "where did I put that?"

This trick will, however, not solve the problem of walking into a room and not remembering why you did so.

Lower your energy bills!!

It's easy. Simple. Really.

My last two electric bills have been under $35.00, which includes more than $12 each on pass through charges.

How do I do it?

By refraining from trying to change the environment.

Oh, in English? I leave the A/C and furnace OFF most of the time. If it feels a bit cool, I put on more clothing. If it feels a bit warm-ish, I wear fewer items of clothing and turn on the ceiling fans.

It's insanity to try to heat the house to above 75 when a few weeks ago (in Houston, anyway) you were trying to cool it below 70. This is a mind game you're playing with yourself, and the cost of the game is reflected in your utility bills.

Cold while you're sleeping? Extra blanket. Warm while sleeping? Take the covers off.

Of course, you can rant at me all you want and tell me that you HAVE to sleep with covers, so you HAVE to make the house cold so you can wear your flannel jammies and socks and two blankets in the summer.

M'kay.

Save on your wireless bill - BIG time

Use Google Voice or Skype from your compatible wireless phone. They use data traffic for VoIP (internet) phone connections, and you can dump your unlimited or 2,000 minutes/month plan.

Also, CHECK your wireless plan - many carriers have dropped their monthly charges, and you could save 20% or more on your monthly costs. If you don't use your phone very often, get a pre-paid phone that charges you only when you use the thing.

Okay, that's enough - I realize that most people have already drifted off, humanoids having the attention span of a hamster and all.

The curtain rings down on 2009

2009-12-31T23:00:00.000-06:00

Some thoughts before the last of 2009 dies away -

So many people have been making the statement that 2009 was a bad year - well, there have been about eight of those in a row. My 2009 was pretty darned good, all things considered - empirically, one might quarrel with that assessment, but I jettisoned a lot of baggage - both emotional and physical - which leaves me feeling much more stable and able than I was going into 2009.

I guess that if one feels 2009 was a bad year, one should review where they were a year ago and see if their understanding, their communication, their ability to focus on the important things in their lives improved at all.

Life just happens. How we deal with it happening is what sets individuals apart.

I spent just over three months of 2009 without fear or anger. Wow. That has been an amazing thing. I got to go to the inauguration of Barack Obama, and there I met two truly remarkable and awesome people. I met a magnificent guy, moved into an apartment that is small enough that I am living alone for the first time in my life. I share office space with an angel, and I have very little stress now.

I got to see my friend Matt four times? Five times? That was great. I "found" my best friend from law school after a ten year absence. I made friends with a guy I hardly knew in high school, with whom I have been carrying on a delightful, supportive and engaging correspondence. I was blessed to have my friendship with LEA restored. I have made friends with amazing ladies from the church, and gotten a lot closer with my Aunt Liz.

I have had six straight months of talking with my sister without recrimination or anger. SIX months. In a ROW.

I had the love and support of my friends. I have released a number of people in my life who were not productive, regardless of how it may have seemed from the outside.

My year was an endless experience of being appreciated, loved and cared about by my truly amazing circle of magnificent humans I am lucky enough to call friends. I hope I gave as good as I got, because each one of them is a treasure.

I gave up on following politics in the large part, and stopped looking for flaws in my thinking and character.

I got to see our city elect a moderated, unexciting, immensely competent and honest mayor - who just as an aside - is a lesbian. I am lucky enough to have met and talked to her several times, and she is the kind of political leader we need a few hundred dozen more of.

I'll say that, overall, 2009 was awesome. I'm no wealthier, no healthier, and still very single - but I don't see these as problems.

I still don't know exactly what I want to do with my life, but I'm getting a lot better at hitting the brakes when the runaway idea train picks up speed - and discerning what is motivating me and what it will benefit me.

When I wake up, it's going to be Friday. Many people are going to tell me that the day has some significance, but it's just a story that's completely made up. Other human cultures existing with us now honor other days as the start of the new calendar year, and who's to say that their selection of a "day" is right or wrong?

As I go from Thursday to Friday, I have on my mind that I am going to engage in a lot less omphaloskepsis and a whole lot more "getting the job done". I'm going to take care of myself as an investment, and I'm now utterly devoid of feeling sorry for myself.

Things will happen - flat tires, homophobia, events, maybe another hurricane or two. I will deal with them, without making those events "mean" something about me, or my past, or the people around me. I will continue to see and seek the best in people, and to understand that when they are displeasing, they're probably scared or alone or trapped in their own old beliefs.

I will continue to look every person in the eye, and smile at them to let them know that I see them, and that they're a human worthy of greeting, respect and acknowledgment.

I will recycle even more than I do now, and I will push processed foods further away from my table until they're gone entirely.

And I'm going to focus on the thing that matters most - being with the people in my life - and telling them how remarkable they are, how glad I am to be with them, and that I'll help them in any way I can. There really is no other point to living than that.

So, if you're reading this, you're connected to me in some fashion and I'm glad that we are. I know in my heart that your New Year will be everything that you can make of it. When you're feeling a bit like it's not working out, call me. I'll talk you down from your perch and assure you it's all working out just fine.

So, my dad sends me an email -

2009-12-29T22:52:00.000-06:00

He does that, you know. The email that he sent me was from his brother in law, I think, who's a Tea Bagger.

The email was a purported presentation given by one Leo Carrington, owner of Carrington Automotive, to the entire employee body of his 12 stores assembled at the Grand Payne Hotel. You can read the email here.

So, Dad asks me "What do I think"?

Well, I spent about 90 minutes reading, doing some (very quick, because the facts are RIGHT there) Google research and composing a response for him. To-wit:

Oh, the horseshit starts flying.

My friend Nancy, who has a small business that brings in something a tad less than the Carrington example would LOVE to pay a payroll tax of 2.5% instead of the ferocious health premiums she's now been paying. In fact, it would push her balance sheet over from red to black. But, Carrington doesn't provide any health insurance.

I believe that the pending and incomplete legislation on health care prohibits a pushback on wages for any employer who is penalized for failing to provide health insurance. So, that part of the missive is an empty and illegal threat. The 8% tax penalty is only in the house bill, and the Senate bill (which everyone who isn't trying to panic people about the "socialists" knows is going to prevail) has a $750 per employee per year tax penalty for employers who don't provide health insurance. That's $140,250 in tax penalty for requiring that the government pay for his employees' health care premiums. Given that the average private health insurance annual premium WITHOUT dependent coverage is now $6,000 to the employer - sounds like he's still a cheapskate and getting off without much of a penalty. His insurance premium for employees only would be $1,122,000.

At least that way, by providing his employees with health care coverage, he wouldn't have to pay any personal income tax at all.

As to his assertions on the increase in taxes - let's come back to reality. The top incremental rate on income over $250,000 will increase by 3% to approximately $370,000, and the top incremental rate on income over $370,000 would increase by 4.6% The rates on income below $250,000 will NOT change.

So, the increase in tax on the portion between $370,000 and the stated $534,000 of taxable income would be the difference between $57,400 (the tax on that increment of income at present under the Bush tax cuts) and $64,944 (the tax on that increment of income if the Bush tax cuts were allowed to expire.) His taxes will increase by $7,544. Gee, I can do THAT in my head! The increase in tax on the portion between $250,000 and $370,000 - $3,600.

Our example, Carrington, will see his income taxes increase by $11,144 if the Bush tax cuts expire. Another sum I can do in my head!

According to our "example", $11,144 expressed as a percentage of his total taxable income is 2.08%. The "example" suggests that "nearly" 5% is the tax impact, $24,564. So, the "example" of the net effect of allowing the Bush tax cuts to expire is overstated by a factor of "nearly" two times. The net effect would be that he pays $11,144 in additional personal income tax, which is slightly less than $1,000 per store of twelve per year, or just about $90 a month in additional personal income tax.

Whoopie fucking do.

There is no proposal to increase the top incremental tax rate on incomes over $1,000,000. That part of the "example" is a flat out lie. A fantasy. Not even being discussed, EXCEPT IN BRITAIN.

About three quarters of the "example" in the missive is posturing, ranting and fantasy - the math I have countered above (with facts, sorry). The proposed tax increase (that was passed by the Republican controlled Congress and signed by Bush - how do they keep missing that part?) will cost him $59/employee/year. If the health care employer mandate is indeed effected, then STARTING IN 2014, he'd be paying an additional $750/employee/year for a total increase of $800/employee/year, or $66.00 per employee/month.

Next big problem, according to the SBA in 2009, just over 50% of all employment in the United States is by "small business". They comprise 44% of total private (non-government) payroll, which is a damned sight smaller than the 80% the "example" suggests, and job growth by "small business" is 64% of new jobs over the last FIFTEEN years - not just the last year. Spinning, let's add some more spin.

Now, for the coup d'grace. The ENTIRE EMAIL IS A FAKE. There is no Carrington Automotive, there is no Leo Carrington, and there is no Royal Payne Hotel in Norfolk, Virginia. There is, still, Norfolk Virginia, but the tea baggers probably have something up their sleeves about that.

The End.

Turd, flushed

2009-12-29T17:03:00.000-06:00

While visiting in Tulsa, my friend T-rex christened the HS250 "the Turd", a name which stuck through this afternoon when I surrendered the car to Sterling McCall Lexus.

As I've been criticizing the HS, and as I have been finding little to recommend it on any level, I have been questioning myself. Am I just a cranky nudge who hates everything? I mean, those nice people at Lexus let me drive the car for a week for free and sent me a nice Priority Mail flat rate box haphazardly stuffed full of Lexus swag (most of which were coupons inviting me to spend money with Lexus partners, nearly all of which were in the San Francisco Bay area, where Lexus' marketing firm is located).

What I have kept finding is that the HS250 is a poor choice at $26,000, a joke at $36,000 and utterly absurd at $43,000.

Now, I've seen and examined the 2010 Lincoln MKZ, and it is a much nicer car than is the HS250 - nicer materials, more features, more room - and costs LESS - yet the New York Times pointed out that it is merely a "nice" car and that "nice" doesn't cut at when you're at the $40,000 mark.

More observations:

I cannot see the corners or edges of the HS250 AT ALL, which makes it VERY challenging to park. The steering is completely without feedback - it has all the communication of a trackball, and when one is trying to pilot into a parking space and has no idea where the car is, or what angle the steering is bringing up - one can find oneself parked like a dodo head.

The driveline surges - a LOT. I know that it's a hybrid and doesn't act as my gasoline powered car would, but driving the HS back to back with a friend's two year old Prius, the HS250 surges a LOT and the Prius not at all.

Fuel economy at 35.5 overall is NOT impressive, when a VW Jetta TDI for half the money would have had better performance, equal interior quality, three times the trunk space, equal interior room and gotten over 40MPG.

I have been reading stirrings of new Prius owners reporting that their brakes are failing - I had that experience with the HS at least three times, once this morning. The brakes push to the floor, start to chatter as if the ABS were cycling and n-o-t-h-i-n-g is happening. By releasing the pedal and re-applying braking force, the brakes recovered and stopped the car.

Notes for Nanuck

As in, of the North? I am learning that my metaphor and humor is lost on people I always thought were getting me.

So, I drove this car in snow and ice. Was it a lot of snow and ice? Yes, if you live in Tulsa, it was. For a boy who grew up in Kalamazoo and knows the exact meaning of "Lake Effect Snow", it seemed rather a gay romp. I mean, the Turd wasn't even covered over in snow!

However, if you live north of .. say .. Memphis, and you're considering this car, there are a few things you really need to know about:

The seat heaters don't get warm. Really. Well, a little warm. About as warm as if your butt were perched on the thrones for about an hour, but no warmer than that.

The rear window defroster cannot and will not clear the backlight. The Turd found itself on the 26th with a half dusting of snow and a smidge of ice. After cycling the rear defroster for TWO HOURS, the backlight had STILL not cleared. I am used to cars (and have had cars since the 1970s) that would melt butter off the backlight with the rear defrost selected.

The heater doesn't heat the car. Okay, so this may sound extreme. Allow me to clarify - you'll NEVER get too warm in the cabin of the HS250 during the winter months. EVER. Your feet will never get warm, and your breathing passages will not dry out from dry, hot air blowing in your face.

No, really - I rode home from Sterling McCall Lexus today in a 2008 SLK, and the seats had my buns sizzling within two miles and the defroster had the car uncomfortably warm before that.

You will NOT experience extremes of cold and heat in the HS250 during the winter in the snow belt.

Perhaps related to this, the windshield wipers are fully below the defroster line of the windshield, and - well - there's no easy way to put this - if it's snowing heavily, if there's a bit of freezing rain or anything such as that, you'll have to chip out the blocks of snow or ice from the wipers. The wipers are not powerful enough to lift themselves out of packed snow.

Finally, if it's snowing, or freezing rain, or blowing/gusting/drifting snow, I'd strongly recommend filling up BEFORE the weather moves in, because your fuel filler door will be frozen solid. As in, gingerly prying the lightweight plastic fuel filler door open with a thin blade until you can pry it open. Think about how frustrated you were the last time you tried to open a can of paint when the lid was stuck down from crusty old paint under the edge - and then add that concept to standing outside on 18 degree pavement, with gusting winds next to a gas pump.

Yeah.

Back to the meat of the matter

Driven next to a Prius, the HS250 ceases to be a "nice" car. It is a bit quieter, because the Prius is a hatchback. The HS250 slams into expansion joints and pavement breaks while the Prius slides by. The HS hardly EVER runs on battery, whereas the Prius will run quite a long way on battery alone. Just no justification at all for the $16,000 price difference between the two.

Finally, the HS250 is just flat out .. unattractive. The shape, the grille, the trim - just unattractive. Okay, I'll be straight about it - it's ugly.

Final notes

Is it just a Houston thing, or what?

I took the Turd back to Sterling McCall today at noonish. I parked the car out front, walked in with my friend who got out of his 2008 Mercedes SLK, and entered through the front door.

We could have successfully blown up our underwear, as none of the passengers of Delta flight 253 were present to interact with us.

After a couple of minutes of STANDING in the center of the showroom, I walked back toward the entry door to ask a salesman who was hiding in his (lovely and Rosewood) cubicle if he could help me find the PR gal I was to ask for.

My friend, who drove up in a very nice Mercedes-Benz, was never greeted in any way.

Really? You want me to spend HOW much money? Couple this with the indifferent delivery experience, and the outright refusal regarding a test drive of a newer model LS460, I'm going to give Lexus's showroom experience a big, fat zero.

Left behind..

2009-12-29T16:05:00.000-06:00

So, this is an indecorous posting, inasmuch as I'm calling someone and something out.

This came to me today, in the way of "what does this mean"? This was written by a licensed attorney working for the Franklin County (Ohio) prosecutor's office. This was written as an official business communication from a person who has completed four years of undergraduate school, and three years of law school, and is working for the county government of the seat of state government in Ohio. I'll just let it speak for itself.

From: "XXX X. XXXX"
To: xxxxxxx@email.xxx
Sent: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 1:44:22 PM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern
Subject: XXXXXXX

XXXX, I've tried calling you at ur number and no answer but this case is not being dismissed so u need to come to court or a warrant will be issued and if need be I will arrest you at Franklin when u go to school. Avoiding me is not going to get the case resolved so u need to contact me and not xxxx. Im the prosecutor on the case and u need to speak with me. Call me so that we can discuss the case.

Assistant Prosecuting Attorney

Franklin County Prosecutor's Office

Criminal Division

373 S. High Street, 14th Floor

P: 614-

F: 614-

Lexus HS250 drive days two and three

2009-12-24T22:33:00.000-06:00

0930 to 1815 is quite a while to spend with any car when it is uninterrupted by anything other than bathroom stops and a single gas fill-up.

During a continuous time such as this, one becomes familiar with those elements of a car that bring comfort or angst to one's car purchase decision.

Comfort items -

The HS250 is a breeze to see out of. Glass everywhere, allows for a clear view of hazards in all directions.

Once mastered, the entertainment system works reasonably well. The iPod interface is a touch weird - if the car is turned off while the iPod is playing, it won't play the iPod again until one disconnects and resets the iPod.

The gear selector is a hoot and a half to operate, and the regen braking feature is AWESOME when exiting a freeway.

The seat BACK is extremely comfortable (for me).

The graphic display for the driver that shows fuel economy, charging status, and status is terrific and fun.

The rain sensing wipers are great.

Annoying, irritating and displeasing things -

The HS250 is LOUD on the freeway. The tires, being designed for fuel efficiency and low rolling resistence whine loudly, and pound on the expansion strips. There is a lot of wind noise along the entire upper window line.

The freeway noise washes out entertainment system performance.

The HS250 cruise control does NOT disengage with a light tap or a medium tap on the brake pedal; I could only get it to disengage by canceling with the cruise control stalk. When traffic ahead changes unexpectedly and the car continues to drive forward while you press on the brake, you are presented with quite a stressful, conflicted environment.

The lower seat cushion is woefully inadequate - combined with the lack of a dead pedal, one finds oneself exhausted after hours of micro movement and pushing back to stay in the seat.

Interior storage space in the HS250 is just weird - no cubby is deep enough to hold an average phone or iPod when connected to the charging cable. Also, when plugged into the console, iPod and charging cables have to be strung along the console to the center cubby under the armrest. Putting the USB/mini-plug and charging jacks inside the center cubby would seem to make more sense.

The interior materials are grossly inappropriate for a $42,000 Lexus. The center stack design is completely indistinguishable from a Toyota Venza, equipped with the identical entertainment unit, HVAC switchgear and secondary switches.

The entertainment (non-nav) has an LCD display that's light blue with black lettering. The other displays are LED, with lighted letters on a flat background. At night, the entertainment display is difficult to read in the extreme.

550 miles, 34.7 average MPG 75 average MPH. Not very impressive.

My thoughts, so far -

Without price weighting, the HS250 is not an impressive car. It is compromised in the driving experience, is agreeable for a moderately priced car, but wholly inappropriate for a luxury brand. The storage space and seating capacity isn't competitive. The car is, frankly, unattractive.

Price weighted, this is a turd. Ford would do very well by keeping one of these at each of their stores for comparison with their Fusion Hybrid that has far more room, better seating, equal features, better fuel economy and $32,000.

The HS250 has not moved today, and is currently covered in about five inches of snow.

Tulsa in Christmas -

I am "enjoying" being in Tulsa during their first ever blizzard warning. Tracey's parents are as charming as they ever have been, and I'm noticing that the absence of gift exchange provides more focus on human communications and reduces stress greatly.

I have some more political observations and social thoughts to share tomorrow -

Lexus HS250 drive day two

2009-12-23T07:41:00.000-06:00

If I were more committed to alliteration, I'd have said "drive day dos".

It's not as much fun, being up and functional before all of one's online friends are up and chatty - true, there was no competition for the laundry equipment, and I'm still on schedule for an 0830 departure. However - will I make it to my destination in time for our 1830 dinner reservation?

Today promises nine hours of driving through forecasted rainshowers and thunderstorms. The HS is going to be tested against these conditions.

Yesterday's partial day was unremarkable and remarkable in several ways. We picked up the HS from Sterling McCall Lexus at around 2:00 pm - the store is standard Lexus fare, but without parking for more than about ten customer cars.

Unremarkable elements of the day's experience -

Driving the HS250 around the streets of Houston, during rainy conditions would not have provided many opportunities to really understand the car. Add in Christmas frenzy in my fellow auto pilots, and you get a lot of time spent focusing on not being mushed by an SUV, and being gleeful at having found any parking space at all.

We braved Galleria traffic AND Spec's main warehouse store - my resident Lexian Billy and I roamed the streets on Christmas related errands.

Remarkable elements of the day's experience -

The HS250 rides HARD. Harder than either of my Pontiac GXP cars, much harder than the Audi A4 prestige with sport package I drove a few weeks ago, and far harder than Guy's Prius. Which leads to the revelation that Houston's roads are atrocious for a major city in the southwest. Hint, hint, new mayoress.

The HS250 sits very, very high - think "Ford Five Hundred" high. This makes ingress much easier, but in this car it gives a sense of tippiness. At least to me.

The HS250's trunk is VERY small. It's well shaped, but it is VERY small. The American tendency to evaluate cargo space by how many sets of golf clubs can be carried will be stymied, as there isn't a way to get other than a collapsible set of irons in the car.

The aircraft like center stack is partly to accommodate the very high seating position, and partly because it's "a hybrid". It looks very cool and functional, but in operation, it keeps getting in the way of intuitive hand and arm movement.

While no Audi with MMI in terms of complexity, the car is loaded with buttons and things to push, which require study to understand. I didn't feel secure trying to operate some of the primary controls until after reading the entire quick start guide and supplementing with the owner's manual. By primary controls, I include "putting the car into gear" and the windshield wipers.

The stereo quality in the base car is very disappointing. The sound is muddy, and without depth. Bass notes just thump without definition. The two line LED display makes it very challenging to be sure of what station/song/track one is hunting for.

When we picked the car up at Sterling McCall, the salesman basically handed me the keys and said "see you on Tuesday" and fled. We had no introduction to the car, and no introduction to its controls. None of the terms of the loaner agreement were reviewed or discussed. Just "put your address here and sign here".

I guess they think I am not an HS250 customer at all. The salesman DID tell Billy and me that they do not and would not allow a test drive of the new, $76,000 LS460 sport model "because they're so unique". Um. Audi will encourage one to hop into one of their $120,000 S8s with far more sporting capabilities and take it out for some wringing. While friendly enough, the experience at the dealer did not encourage one to return, and was little different than the experience one would have at the Chevy store just up the street.

The interior materials of the LS250 (base model) are unremarkable - in fact, nearly identical to Dina's new Toyota Venza. The design lines are pleasing enough, but - for $42,000, the interior quality is indistinguishable from a $28,000 Prius, which has more interior space, more cargo space, rides better and gets better economy.

Speaking of economy - I reset all the stored values when I picked the car up (which took some doing, since I didn't discover the owner's manual in the trunk until a few hours later) and running around on surface streets yesterday, we were averaging about 27 mpg.

Now, to wrap up with something nice. My long time coach Jenny always used to say that if you had bad news, you must wrap it in good - the hamburger bun method, she called it.

My head doesn't hit the roof of the HS, which is nice.L

I tole you before, but you didn't listen...

2009-12-21T08:36:00.001-06:00

The Twelve Days of Christmas haven't yet started

2009-12-17T09:48:00.000-06:00

And they won't start until the 25th. Just so you know.

Yesterday, I went with Billy to IKEA and to BestBuy. We had a blast. I don't think he's been "shopping" with me before and didn't realize how amusing it can be. He got a new DVD player and I was helping him set it up, which required a flashlight to see what I was doing.

This led me to remark that I myself had a flashlight, the sole purpose of which was to facilitate looking into the coffee carafe in the mornings, to see if enough hot water had been put in.

I was Robert-napped today. It was just what I needed, actually.

The weather seems to have stabilized with dryer air and lower temperatures. That makes my sinuses much happier.

The 787 flew and looked beautiful doing it.

I'm a lot closer to starting my book idea (1 of 4).

Why did I not know about Firefox's ad blocking add on before? Life is incrementally better with it.

I'm no turkey!

2009-12-15T22:34:00.000-06:00

So, I have a request to the members of the Congress of the United States of America (in session).

Just stop.

Just stop even pretending that anything you do at all is other than tweaking the tax code and doling out tax dollars for those wealthy and privileged enough to give you big campaign contributions.

Stop with the to and fro about health care reform - it's so clear that you're just going to give MORE money to the health industry, just like you did with Medicare reform - just leave us be.

Stop with the agonizing about financial re-regulation or making it harder for people to get home loans - we know you don't care about people with social security numbers and direct deposit twice a month and ten thousand or so in their 401(k) program.

It's okay that you're shoving rules down our throats that require school districts to buy software and test models from the Bush family, and that some other insider has a contract to sell the RFID technology for the new driver licenses. We know you're about to re-privatize the TSA and lord, who KNOWS how many zeros will be on that check? We know that you're going to continue to reward those highest paying corporations with enormous contracts, mostly for weapons and contracting related to defense - defense against what?

No one cares to ask anymore.

We know that you are pushing hard for the guy who gave your daughter a $250,000 consulting gig six weeks out of her Bachelor's - and that she's not required to keep office hours.

We know that you pontificate about pretty much anything that will get you face time - FREE face time - on television. We know that you are focused on two things - delivery for those that wrote you the checks, and re-election to keep the checks coming.

We know that you don't give a damn about abortion rights, or the right to privacy, or equal access to the public airwaves - you don't care about "public" anything if you can sell a piece off to someone who'll drill another big check into your offshore account.

Just stop. Stop talking to us. Stop telling us that you're going to do anything for anyone that's not listed on the Fortune 500. Stop telling us anything at all, just keep getting your face on TV.

Wait, I think that has already happened. Maybe that's why the pontificating has gone so far into the realm of the absurd. If one added some pratfalls and a few exploding cigars, you'd have a Marx Brothers show. Some of you would embarass the Three Stooges.

Maybe the answer is for us, the people, the people who have birth certificates and not corporate charters, lawyers and lobbyists, to tune you out for good. Ignore you entirely.

Maybe the answer is for us to all of us just stop participating in this bi-annual sham called "national elections".

Maybe if we, the people, those who have voter registration cards, focused as much attention on ignoring you vacuous money grubbers as we now do on arguing in favor of whatever squid ink you're squirting into the media waters - maybe, if no one voted at all, responded to your polls, gave your campaign Twenty Dollars, signed up for your Facebook fan page, signed up on your email lists - maybe, just maybe - you'd have the constituency you actually represent.

It ain't necessarily so ..

2009-12-10T19:24:00.000-06:00

A friend recently was told by someone at a medical office that she had lumps in her breast that needed to be examined more closely. The appointment to have her charts and scans read took two months - at which time they told her that she had some fibroids that needed to be watched. Her results were a huge relief, of course, but this has been the fourth time THIS YEAR that a woman friend of mine was told by a clinician that she may have breast cancer and was left to stew in her own juices until the doctor picked up the charts and scans and reported "you don't have cancer". Several of these women have had to have biopsies. Each of them was put through months of internalized panic and stress to be told "oh, those are just fibroids. Perfectly normal for your age."

There are so many things in life that "ain't necessarily so". Someone's motivations, someone's internal monologue, someone's past - what something "means".

To be human is to focus nearly exclusively on what everything means. What words mean, events, weather, career paths, relationship developments. What does it MEAN? Depending on one's background, training and openness, this meaning can be attributed to one's own failings, to vague feelings that someone is out to get you, to feelings that God is out to get you.

The problem with that is - when everyone is trying to figure out what it "means" without listening, asking or observing - you have nothing but self-guided "certainty" with no real information.

All of life is complex, involving many independent parts, all of which collide depending on timing, order, temperature.. so many variables that it's impossible to know just what things "mean".

Just remember - it ain't necessarily so. Could be different. If you don't like how it looks, be open to seeing it differently.

Vampire plots

2009-12-09T16:20:00.000-06:00

It has occurred to me that our planet has for the last two decades been the focus of a comprehensive campaign by vampires to lay the foundation for acceptance and dominance of the human world.

Previous to this time, vampires have always allowed themselves to be portrayed as gruesome, fearful beasts who appeared to be barely human. In the absence of long distance communication and fast responders such as police and fire departments (only those that are socialized, of course) the vampire society began to see that they had to gain acceptance or even admiration to maintain their wealth and power.

Nearly twenty years ago, female vampires were portrayed as sexy and powerfully appealing for the first time in a widely distributed film. While this changed the opinions of a portion of the male population, it did nothing to gain the complete social integration desired by the vamps.

In the last ten years, we have seen a constant stream of incredibly hot, sexy, lovable vampire males. Tom Cruise, David Boreanaz, the twinky boys from the Twilight series, Wesley Snipe, even Ryan Reynolds has made a mostly naked appearance to utilize his inimitable Adonis belt to persuade a malleable populace to want to be with a Vampire or be LIKE a Vampire.

Prescient as they are, the Vampires could predict the passage of the Patriot Act, which would inevitably bring them permanently out of the financial shadows and into the sunlight. This marketing campaign was only the broadest in their effort to grow their number and gain full civil rights.

Clearly, Hollywood is being run by Vampires, given all of this content.

(hee hee)

Lexi? Really?

2009-11-27T19:19:00.000-06:00

So, I awoke from a dream that I was selling Lexus automobiles.

I was really, really good at it.

Thankya thanksgiving

2009-11-25T19:59:00.000-06:00

So, a few things to start with - a very interesting op-ed in Mother Jones about Congress and regulating the financial markets. Best quote from that piece -

"I remain pessimistic on the ability of Congress to rein in the financial community in any serious way. They just don't have the power."

Next, a terrific and funny contribution from a Northwest flight attendant in today's New York Times. Terrific reading for anyone traveling this Holiday season.

Having a peaceful weekend, did my "traveling" today just trekking from the office to the apartment.

Tomorrow, going to Donna's where we will hang out drinking coffee and jabbering all day. No turkey (I think), no "tradition", no nonsense.

Speaking of holiday traditions, it is quite well established that Christmas is a re-purposing of the pagan winter solstice. Easter is the spring solstice. Thanksgiving, though?

It's a holiday unique to North Amercia. Canadian Thanksgiving is earlier than is ours and is to celebrate the end of the harvest.

Here in the US, we are told that some of the first English settlers invited their Native American neighbors over for a little nosh in gratitude for their support of the previously starving English settlers.

With turkeys, cranberries and mashed potatoes.

What if it wasn't so? What if we've had a re-write of history, just as we have with the Bible and so many other "truths" that are taken for granted?

These two diaries are very interesting - they're pretty angry (given the author's point of view) but the present a very interesting perspective and a possible background we've never heard about.

Just a quiet rant, but it seems to me that holiday shopping and hours are particularly aggressive today.

I wonder

2009-11-19T21:58:00.001-06:00

Eleven years ago, my mother died. She was in hospice for a few weeks, which provided me with ample time to think up stuff to research on the nascent 'net.

One of those things was great big transatlantic ocean liners, which led to the very late night question "What ever happened to the SS United States?"

Turns out, it's in Philadelphia. It's been in Philadelphia for nearly fourteen years. It's been stripped out, auctioned off, abused, whipped, ignored and allowed to rust since 1969.

It is one of only four preserved (in a manner of speaking) former ocean liners, and the only one still with its entire power plant (engine room) intact.

The fastest ocean liner in history, the ship had a storied career until it was suddenly and unexpectedly pulled from service fifty years ago last week.

I have long been one who pined for a past I never lived. I have studied it (the past), read about it, thought about how it could be put to service (those elements which survive).

I even cooked up a (in my view, quite decent) plan to restore the SS United States to service. However, what is the POINT?

I have driven cars from my youth that were unattainable and incredible, only to realize that they are poor substitutes for what is available today. Everything is better and everyone's expectations are different; why does it make sense to pour a huge volume of resources into preserving something that has no more use?

As an example, I have a simple lovely chafing dish that belonged to my great-grandmother. It has a working double boiler, and a working oil lamp. As a device for heating and serving food, it's unworkable as compared to other solutions. It takes up space, consumes resources and does nothing but sit there.

As does the SS United States.

In the thirteen years since it came to roost in Philadelphia, there have been numerous efforts to turn it into a museum, into a hotel, into a convention space, into a working ocean liner - and no one has had the money or inclination to execute on that. It's not suited for a cruise ship, it's not efficient enough to use as a steamship without a half billion dollars of renovations, it's a project that would cost easily $50 million just to make the ship sound enough for long term display, and then it's just a vast, empty space that isn't safe for people to move around.

Few ship museums support themselves. Even fighting ships with a rich history don't support themselves.

We have aircraft rotting away in dozens and dozens of museums. We have six or seven aircraft carriers, and five or six battleships moldering and rotting away in various stages of decay in this country. We have battlefields that are falling apart, cemeteries of people dead more than a hundred years that are ignored - why do we struggle so hard to revere the past and then ignore it?

I realize that most of the people seeking to salvage the SS United States are people who have traveled on her, or urgently desired to do so when she was in service. Very few have a currently developed affinity - certainly not enough to support the ship.

Without having done any kind of organized research, I assert that nearly all of these tombs and relics are preserved by those who served on and in them, worked on and in them, used them, knew them in their youth. In their later years, they are seeking something - validation? Reliving when they were young and vigorous and doing the newest, highest, best thing possible?

We can't save every machine to benefit the ego and id of a bunch of people who will be dead as the machine again wears and rusts out.

Why cannot we reclaim our vigor and our glory by sharing our talents with those in need, with those who need education or comfort, or guidance?

As I have written in this blog, I had an idea in 1973 that a metallic green Chrysler Imperial was THE manifestation of success, and of acceptance into the world that was desirable. For more than thirty years, I thought that having one would bring me that feeling of success and acceptance - and mistakenly thought I had an affection for that car - that it was somehow unique and special.

And then, I had one - listing and leaking black oil into my driveway. And I ignored it for a month.

Reliving my past and my feelings occurs inside of me, and doesn't require the rehabilitation of a non-functional leviathan.

We have nearly 1/5th of our population without health care, nearly a tenth without adequate food, over half without decent education - and we're going to raise money to restore the Battleship Texas? To scrape, paint, moor, insure, power, rehabilitate the SS United States? To repair the USS Lexington in a few more years when the hull has predictably deteriorated to a point that she's no longer structurally sound?

Just how many freaking preserved aircraft carriers does a world need, anyway?

We're fighting each other tooth and nail about whether we should have health care for everyone and we (as a race) have invested thousands upon thousands of hours and billions of dollars enshrining the past for future generations that will not care one whit.

Please notice that I am not evaluating the incredible waste that went into building fleets of battleships and aircraft carriers and bombers and moving them around like so many chess pieces for hundreds of years. I am only speaking to the waste we currently indulge - it is insane, it is inhumane, it is morally offensive.

One of the solutions proposed for the SS United States is to sink her as a barrier reef.

Let her rest in peace. Let those resources go to feed, clothe and educate our children. Just say "no" to throwing money after the glory days of youth that youth today utterly ignore.

Futzing - or, Divo happiness

2009-11-12T17:05:00.000-06:00

So, today I've been futzing - I've reduced the number of emails I'll get each day, and reduced the number of text messages in a big way.

I've re-org'd my internet favorites, cutting back on the clutter.

I have simplified all kinds of communications tools, to cut down on the input levels.

I have mapped out some web content changes.

And, I've had a great time doing it all!

Tomorrow, more execution of the "plans"!

Remember Fractured Fairy Tales?

2009-11-11T09:18:00.000-06:00

Call this Hysterical History. Or come up with a better name for me to use.

Prior installments - how VW came to buy Porsche, and how Safeway came to be Safeway again... now, THE HISTORY OF AUDI!

http://www.dinesh.com/history_of_logos/car_logos_-_design_and_history/audi_logo_-_design_and_history.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auto_Union
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NSU_Motorenwerke_AG
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horch
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Audi
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DKW

Horch/DKW/Wanderer/Audi = Auto Union

Audi = Latin for "Hear" or "To Hear" (or "listen")
Horch = Founder's name, yes, but German infinitive for "Hear" (or "listen")

Is it possible that what distinguishes Audi at its soul is listening to what people want?

I can NEVER remember DKW. It's so SIMPLE too - Dampf Kraft Wagen (rolls eyes). 'Cause all those shiny cars on your lot SO remind me of steam powered buggies.

Horch were actually more elite PKWs (Personnen Kraft Wagen, as distinct from Last Kraft Wagen) during and immediately after the Hitlerzeit than were Mercedes. And, of course, BMW was an aircraft motor company and motorbike company.

When I was an exchange student to Wolfsburg in high school, everyone in northern Germany called BMW "Bayerische Mist Wagen" - Bavarian Manure Cart.

Mercedes were taxis.

NSU is an older company than is Daimler-Benz, being founded in 1873. Karl Benz made his first motorcar in 1885. Of course, NSU started off making sewing machines. They started making motorcycles in 1901. They were, in 1955, the largest motorcycle company in the world. Started producing cars (again) in 1957, and were the first company to mass produce Wankel engined automobiles - the most famous being the Ro80, spiritual predecessor to the Audi 80/VW Passat, now being sold as the A4. The Ro80 was the European Car of the Year in 1967.

Producing such a revolutionary car broke the bank, and VW AG bought them in 1969, merged them into Auto Union (which for many years hadn't been doing much of anything) and renamed the whole shooting match "Audi" even though that brand (of the five) was the least well known. Maybe they were on to something.

After the war, only DKW were produced in West Germany - all of the Horch, Wanderer, Auto Union facilities ended up in EAST Germany. Daimler (those bastards) bought a controlling interest in Auto Union in 1957, bought the rest of the farm in 1959 and then started getting cold feet. With the help of the Lower Saxony government, VW bought the schtuff in 1964. Horch had bought the farm during the war, and Auto Union was resurrected by Daimler, who never really recovered from AU's Silver Arrows whipping the shit out of Daimler's racers in the 1930s.

Damiler had designed a lovely little platform called the F103, which was the foundation for the Audi 80/VW Passat, save for that the Audi version was only sold as "Audi" (single model) until the acquisition of NSU a few years later. In 1965, VW kicked the DKW name to the kurb, and Audi was the brand.

Pack rattage

2009-11-02T16:15:00.003-06:00

From those really snarky, smart people who run TUT's Adventurer's Club:

Now let me get this straight: You want things that you don't yet have, people in your life who you don't yet know, and events to take place that haven't yet occurred, so that once these "things" come to pass you'll feel happy, confident, and fulfilled; accomplished, desired, and appreciated; treasured, adored, and like one bad mamma jama, a beautiful sight to see?

But... wasn't that your rationale for all the other stuff you wanted, that you now have?

Whooohoooooooo!
The Universe

Uh, yeah.

As I get further away from having far too much stuff, I keep noticing the dichotomy within myself of finding more stuff I don't need or use, and keep finding more fun and useless stuff that I am convinced I need.

Of course, the best part of this is being judgmental about someone ELSE who is accumulating too much stuff, and my observing that.

Like I was never a ripe target for such criticism.

Probably the ripest area for improvement within myself is further dispatching processed, non-nutritional foods from my life. Watching how other people focus on buying food that is advertised shows me that I've already separated myself from the "herd" quite a bit. I've also noticed how easily and eagerly I leap back into the mindless consumption of advertised food - it's analogous, of couse, to the endless desire to buy something.

What is it that drives that "need"? It's not need at all. It's learned behavior. When I was being raised, having a 2300 square foot house was the standard, now it's well above 3000 square feet that are "needed". New cars are "needed".

Matticia has a perfectly serviceable eight year old Honda that he treats like the appliance it is. How much money has he saved in the past five years by not indulging the craving for a new car?

I am going to dig further into this "need" for needless things, and figure out what that's all about. When it came to be, how and .. well, the why is already known - it's to increase the unit cost of widgets and to sell as many widgets as can be sold.

All Hallow's Eve 2009

2009-10-31T11:23:00.003-05:00

Matt is Matticiaforming his garage into a passable, professional disco and I've been watching Hulu, making chex party mix and fiddling with my iTunes library - deleting stuff I'd never listen to (why oh why was it there in the first place?)

I feel another nap coming on.

The costumes last night were amazing, many of them. I was associated with a hot hot pink spiderman, there were some truly beautiful and astonishing ensembles put together by some people who had clearly invested a great deal of time and effort into their costumes.

My favorite costume of the evening was a 30-something gentleman who had crafted a Julie London-eske evening gown in shiny bright green and gold fabric, and had made the gown's skirt as a layered wedding cake, his hat another layered wedding cake, his face and hair painted in green, gold and orange, with a "torch" that was a third layered wedding cake with freshly baked cupcakes atop. All illuminated with mini-lights.

He could have hidden a small nuclear plant inside there for power. How he could walk up and down stairs was beyond me.

A few notes:

If your belly and midriff bulge out like a roll of poppin' fresh dough just after you bust open the container on the edge of the kitchen counter - you should re-think that shirtless/midriff exposure.

Being under 25 with a great body, no shirt and a face mask is NOT a costume.

Wearing no shirt, a kilt, a loincloth, or any kind of skirt with some face or body spray paint might be a knock out at a straight club, but don't expect much attention at a professional, Gay club costume contest.

Girls, please don't take it as rejection when you come show off your creative and revealing Hallowe'en costume at a gay club and we don't grovel at your loveliness. It isn't personal. We just happen to be far more interested in the over-the-top drag costumes and all the men who are basically naked.

Wearing a costume that makes you look like the crack whore we already knew you were - well, it's a costume, yes, but don't be surprised when we don't notice that you're wearing it.

Young and well built men who put their bodies on display through wearing nearly nothing should be aware that anyone who has eyesight is INVITED to stare by their effort. There is no visual filter that eliminates old, fat or balding men, or women.

weeks away, we get to choose

2009-10-13T12:24:00.002-05:00

In a few weeks from today, we go to the polls. In Houston, there is a contest mayor's race, but for the most part, this election seems to be a yawner.

These off-year elections are actually the more important, as far fewer voters turn out, and these are the elections where we make decisions about matters that affect us directly and locally.

Since our state is governed by a lengthy and unruly constitution, we have a variety of measures which require constitutional amendments. We Texans just go along with this process, rather than demanding a new constitutional convention to clean up the mess - much like California.

What's more disturbing, the ballot summaries of these measures are too abbreviated and sometimes diverting from the real effects. Each of the ballot measures this year have been summed up for us by the Secretary of State's office, and contain the full text of what we are voting on. You can see this report here.

There are a number of amendments on the ballot this year that deal with property tax matters. Many people will vote based on pre-judged perceptions about taxes in general without really understanding the measures that they are voting on.

Over the next week, I'm going to review ALL of these ballot measures and analyze them for anyone to read. You'll be able to find these reviews here on my blog - you can sign up for notices that new posts have been made or just ask for updates from me directly.

Let's all agree to stop with the bombastic bullet points, because we ALL want a society that just works for everyone. Let's educate ourselves as to what is in front of us and use the power of the ballot box to take back this world from those who have only their self-interests at heart.

Monday Mourning

2009-10-12T19:31:00.004-05:00

This is post #2 under the same headline -

Last night, Matticia told me he nearly cried on the way home from work. He had spent many hours yesterday fussing about party effects he's purchased for delivery - and saw a guy trying to sell his bicycle on the street for $20 to buy some food.

I think that's called "realizing one's priorities are a bit screwed up". I don't know anything about that at all.

A few months ago, I was convinced that a beautiful $100K Audi S8 would make me happy. I had been convinced that a beautiful home with a pool and a garage were necessary and appropriate.

Having had a few of those beautiful homes, with rooms I didn't go into, boxes in closets I didn't open, kitchen appliances in cabinets I didn't use, I can tell you I was wrong about that.

I didn't really understand HOW wrong I was until this morning.

Even as I settled into my peaceful little apartment, even as I reveled in the freedom of having a LOT less stuff, even as my stress level unwound - I STILL thought that a gorgeous S8 would do me right. Happiness could rise or fall on whether the S8 had a full leather upgrade, and absolutely was dependent on it having the $6800 Bang & Olufsen stereo system.

I poured over the Audi S8 brochure (and the interwebs, frankly, and every other resources I could drum up). I looked at other cars, too. Whipping my neck around at every pretty shade of red paint, maybe THAT one, maybe THIS one.

Then, the week before my birthday, I started to contemplate how much money I was spending on having a car.

I've been making car payments since the fall of 1977 - so, 32 years of monthly obligation. 384 months of uncertainty. 11,520 days of worry. 230,400 or so individual moments of being afraid, unsure, or concerned.

I drive 4.6 miles each way to the office. Once or twice a week, I drive 52 miles round trip to the church. Every once in a while, I may run up ten or twenty miles in errands, or to have a visit with someone.

Call it 170 miles a week (last week being the exception with FIVE trips to church).

Those 170 miles will cost a very predictable $35.00 in gasoline and miscellaneous wear and tear on the car. Insurance is another $60 a month.

So, why was I paying nearly a thou a month for a car?

Between the interest cost and depreciation, that's what the Red Rocket was costing.

So, $1.58 a mile.

$7.25 to drive to work.

$164.32 for each drive to church.

$142.20 to visit a friend outside the beltway (no wonder I'm so committed to staying inside the loop).

This was insane. Especially since the math is exacerbated with the stress.

New choices were made.

I just acquired my SECOND 1998 Buick Riviera. Victoria Regina, her name. She has 67K miles on her, fewer than did the Red Rocket. She's paid for in full. She needs some loving labor, but she's pretty.

And I love her.

This morning, as I was running back and forth between the storage locker, the laundry room, VR (as she's now nicknamed), and the mailbox, I kept noticing how much she makes me smile. Like, I am giddy happy smiling.

Giddy. About a car that cost fewer than $4,000.

She doesn't have a snorting V10, Audi exquisite engineering, and she cost less than the Bang & Olufsen stereo.

But, every day that I own her is the opportunity to have something other than twenty fearful thoughts.

Monday Mourning

2009-10-12T19:31:00.003-05:00

My brother (half-brother, dad's first marriage) died Saturday afternoon/evening of a heart attack in his sleep. He was 53.

He died because of our country's policies over the last thirty five years or so.

Mike (whose real name was Edgar, but nicknamed Mike so as to avoid confusion with my dad) had a high school education, gained at a time in this society when that was enough to get a decent job and raise a family on that income. And, he got both a decent job and a family, working in an auto plant.

Which auto plant was closed some twenty years ago. He then went and got trained on repairing ATM machines and drive through machines, and supported himself and his family working outside in cold Michigan winters, making it easier for people to pull up inside their climate controlled cars and access their accounts without having to deal with the bank lobby.

Until that bank was acquired by another, larger bank and they outsourced to a different vendor.

He and his wife struggled to keep up the property taxes on their very modest house, and of course health insurance was impossible.

Being of stocky stock, Mike had always been prone to weight gain. Between the stress, the cheap food and the lack of care, he developed type II diabetes in his early 40s. Had a diabetic stroke at 47.

Couldn't walk, couldn't work. Social Security fought him tooth and nail for three years on collecting disability, and when his snap-back occurred, a significant chunk of it went to the lawyer.

They had train-wreck luck, but Mike never seemed to begrudge his life.

The last few years, Mike could walk a few blocks. I don't know how much weight he had gained, but I can guess it was a lot.

His death of a heart attack over the weekend was, I guess not a surprise. Without money for health care, without money for prescriptions, without purpose and hope - victim for our having savaged our nation's manufacturing base, beaten down the unions, allowed for megalithic business combinations - he was one of the tens of thousands whose life trajectory was shot down without fault or recovery.

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me

2009-10-06T23:13:00.003-05:00

Wild and woolly! I guess, it wasn't so wild, but it was non-stop low key action.

So, today, I mostly worked on a loan - mortgage loan, my last one - and finally, for the first time since 1996, THIS one is going the way they should have all been going. Neat, tidy, clear communication ..

Just as I was finishing up with that this afternoon, my neighbor was texting about getting together for dinner tonight - AND mentioned that he was across the street with his mom surfing for bargains! I hitched onto their parade, and we went over to Marshall's - where I found a new coffee mug (of the style I love) for 10% of the original price, a cool console table for between my club chairs marked down from $179 to $50, and FOUR pair of dress trousers (representing a 400% increase over what I had previously had) all cheapola! THEN, we went to the Empire Cafe and had some cake - mine was called "Chocolate Mugging" I think. Then, we came back to the apartments and I had to lay down.

One of my very first tax clients dropped in today - he told me that when he came up the stairs and rounded the corner he could tell how much more calm and happy I was than he's ever seen me. He remarked about it twice, and then we talked about the fallacy of "obtaining" when done with debt. Great conversation, and it was nice to be acknowledged for having been changed.

I had fun today! My phone was blowing up, the IMs were pouring in, and nearly every one of my high school friends on Facebook wished me happy birthday. Wow.

Thank you world! I had a great birthday!

Whirlwind preparedness

2009-10-01T17:56:00.003-05:00

I had the most strange and delightful dream last night. I had just purchased a new home theater system - it was no bigger than a coffee table book, and it had two little speakers, each the size of a CD jewel case. It was very chromey and awesome looking.

The whole rest of the dream was about trying to keep from losing or letting other people damage this cool new toy, plus weird additions showing up to the house, my mom being present, etc.

This morning, I walked around the block (which is nearly a mile) and came across six discarded soda cans, and four discarded plastic bottles. I picked them all up, to assuage my feelings of guilt on behalf of my fellow man.

I'm finding that written to-do lists are becoming more and more important.

It's very interesting - I watched some Hulu last night, and saw a Daily Show piece in which Jon Steward interviewed a man with a computer modeling program that has been right about what was developing nearly 100% of the time, and 100% of the time better than the CIA projected.

He said in his mind, and based on his projections, things are actually headed in a pretty good direction - peace in the Middle East, health care resolution in the US, movement on climate change, people behaving themselves in general.

Something for everyone to pray for.

I'm just gonna rant on a while here -

2009-09-29T13:39:00.002-05:00

On people who hate taxes -

Why is it that so many people who hate taxes and feel that "they pay too much" actually pay nothing at all?

On people who don't want changes to health care -

Why is it that so many people who are so jacked up about health care have no health care themselves except "don't get sick, and if you do, die fast"?

On people who don't want gay marriage -

Why are you willing to welcome insta-marriages between opposite sex couples who have just met, or divorce, or ... just how is your marriage threatened by anything from outside of that marriage?

On people who believe that other nations pose a threat to us -

How? How are they a threat? Please don't share with me fanciful speculation, tell me just how they are a threat.

On people who believe that their state should secede from the Union -

If it wasn't acceptable for the South to secede in 1860 when Lincoln, who was against slavery but came to office without a mandate to end slavery, why would it be acceptable now when Obama, who had a far greater voter mandate came to office not proposing (and actually not changing) much of anything?

Should I or shouldn't I?

2009-09-28T12:44:00.002-05:00

The hardwood floor in the kitchen mocks me. It lies there, silently, knowing that it's dirty and sticky and that it's thereby driving me crazy.

Earlier, the countertop, the trash, the bathroom, and the dishes all cooperated nicely. Although there were a few overpour incidents, they all cooperated with the clean-up.

And yet, the kitchen floor continues to mock.

It knows full well that I am very careful with splatters, spills, footfalls, and such.

Still, it's sticky. It's dirty in that subversive, non-visible way. It mocks me.

I could get out the pail, fill it with warm water and a smidge of detergent and then clean it, following with the Orange 3 in 1 treatment that adds a hint of shine.

Should I or shouldn't I?

I probably will, whether I should or not.

Saddiday night and ...

2009-09-26T20:03:00.002-05:00

I'm too pooped to pop?

It's so interesting - the question was posed "when in your life have you been happy?"

Uh .. wow. That was a hard question to contemplate.

So much has happened in the last year, it's like being fast forwarded.

Saddiday night and ...

2009-09-26T20:03:00.001-05:00

I'm too pooped to pop?

Be careful what you wish for - Tuesday edition

2009-09-22T10:09:00.002-05:00

So, at about 5:40 this morning, I awoke to the pleasant sound of a hard rain. The air conditioner popped on about then, and I got up to turn it off, wanting to enjoy the sound of the rain for a while.

Shortly afterward, the power went out for three hours. I've listened to a lot of rain!

Apparently, my Swedish furniture name is DÖYGLLAS.

A few isolated anecdotes -

First, an extraordinary picture of a US Air Force transport aircract - "Air Force One" is how one would normally think of it. This one, previously used for that purpose, was at least thirty years old when this picture was taken. Who says our government ALWAYS wastes tax dollars?

Next, I'm sure you've figured out that I'm pretty annoyed by stupid. Well, increasingly, premature death is BECAUSE of stupid.

Just be wary of the stupid people around you, should their efforts to purify the gene pool with their actions unintentionally affect you.

Next, if you were wondering who benefited the most from the recently concluded "Cash for Clunkers" program, this chart will give you those answers. Big winners - just as you'd suspect, Honda, Toyota (the champeen), Hyundai, Nissan.

But, buried in these statistics are some truly amazing items - my favorite car (regardless of what Robert thinks) is the Audi S8 - it's EPA rated for 13/18 - and Audi SOLD one with the clunkers trade in credit. What in God's name could someone have traded in on THAT which provided a fuel economy increase of six mpg?

Two HUMMERS were sold. Tens of thousands of pick-up trucks.

I'm visualizing many fewer supertankers unloading foreign oil onto our soil because of this.

As I engage my day, which started out with enforced peacefulness and contemplation, I am also thinking about the stuff I've got that I'm still not using. Watch this space for announcements relating to the selling off of even MORE stuff.

Mondays - why would they get someone down?

2009-09-21T08:43:00.003-05:00

I rather like Monday mornings, but mostly because of my own design. Since I usually work all weekend long, Monday mornings are a slower time for me, doing some cleaning, organizing my week, and so on.

Today, I played catch up from a mechanical standpoint - consumables replaced, bills paid, and so on. I broke down and decided to have DSL set up at my apartment, so that took a bit of time.

Here in my little apartment, there is some white noise of traffic in the background, the ceiling fans are - of course - unobtrusive, and the only real noise I get is from the roar of the air conditioner. It's so tranquil - and so not what I'm used to. I've spent more than twenty years in living quarters with loud room mates, loud neighbors, traffic, neighbors, people beating on my door while drunk - I can say that this may not be the most luxurious or fancy place I've lived, but it has a peacefulness that even my grandfather's house didn't have.

That peacefulness is a luxury that goes beyond anything that could be measured in currency.

As is my constant, I keep finding ways to tweak my surroundings to make them just that much more pleasing, that much more workable, that much more attractive.

I'm weird that way. I like it though, so I have no intention or inclination to change that.

It's funny - even though I have given away, cut back, thrown out so much of what I had been carrying around, I'm finding increasingly that a fair amount of what I do have here is .. not used.

Perhaps another purge is in the works.

Sunday peace

2009-09-20T19:06:00.002-05:00

After being here for two months, I am thinking about refinements. Having the bedroom painted, adding some more lighting, just some little tweaks to make things a little more special.

Sidebar - Sigourney Weaver is a presenter at tonight's Emmy awards and looks like a hundred million dollars in cash - WOW.

Peace for me right now means that I have been enjoying my peaceful and solitary environment, and enjoying not having some task or project needing attention tonight. So, more profound thoughts will follow - anon.

Keith and Rachel - my apologies

2009-09-18T13:16:00.002-05:00

I love you both dearly. Especially you, Rachel - your beautiful smile and intellect - I just want to hang out with you and soak you up.

However, I'm reaching a saturation point for angry information about people acting badly. I've come to expect such bad behavior that nothing you share with me is remotely a surprise. It's almost more surprising that it's thought to be noteworthy.

More than twenty years ago, I stopped watching local TV news when our largest local affiliate ran all the way to Shreveport to lead with a murder story. People get angry, they have family arguments, they get drunk and argue, they try to steal sixty bucks from the corner convenience store and someone gets killed. Lather, rinse, repeat - is it news? Is it UNUSUAL?

Some ten years later, I stopped reading the local newspaper. Every single story was slanted toward a particular political and social viewpoint (one that did not include persons of color, as an example).

I was raised believing that watching the news and reading the newspapers were signs of intelligence.

It's a brave, new world.

I began to put my faith in blogs - people who undertook to recreate what reporters USED to do - research, read, assemble. Angry, ranting blogs weren't what I read - blogs that cross linked to original sources or other references so I could (and did) go read for myself were valuable.

Those resources haven't changed. But, all the anger is pointless. We're all raging at symptoms - screaming at a runny nose or a sore throat when the problem is that we should have covered our sneeze, or washed our hands appropriately, or eaten a better diet or gotten more sleep.

We are hip deep in crazy because no one's willing to deal with causes. Causes as in causal issues. Everyone's interested in having their own little world pampered, but there are no big picture thinkers who aren't either Matt Taibbi or the titans of Wall Street.

Frankly, if Matt Taibbi was running Wall Street, there'd be a whole lot more and better money being made and no more bubbles bursting.

KKR has a longer world view. AIG did not. Goldman does.

I'm thinking that the health insurance companies know that long-term, their goose is cooked. I'm thinking that they're looking to make hay while the sun still shines, and maybe extend the time that they reap those benefits.

Which leads me back to my point. I love you guys. I love you. You make me feel like I'm not alone. Yet, we're not making progress. We're tilting at windmills. I already gave up Daily Kos. It's time to go back to fundamentals. We have to re-teach civics and expand understanding. We have to give clear access to facts and provide an alternative to spin.

I know I'm going to be drawn back to you from time to time, but I need to take a break and re-focus.

Speed walking through Safeway

2009-09-17T21:00:00.002-05:00

I recall there being a wide variety of laundry soap products; now, at one of the largest Safeway (Randall's) stores in the Houston market - there is only a wide variety of liquid Tide. Tide makes my pale, white skin break out, so I was hoping for something else.

They did have sugar-free Popsicles on sale, which was fun. They also still had a bunch of sugar free tapioca cups in the discount bin, so I grabbed a bunch. Either I've gone daft, or they only had a very small selection of bacon. They also had coffee on sale (which was what brought me into the store - I was out of bean). Dunkin Donuts beans are more expensive than Starbucks? Really? Safeway has prices marked in disparate ways, just as do all grocery chains - some containers are marked per pound, some per ounce, some per package. This requires math on the spot - which is the better deal? This one's on sale, but the price per measure isn't converted for the SALE price, only for the original price ..

Calculate, calculate, calculate. This one says it's organic, but is it fair trade? This one looks perfect, but it's decaf.

Finally, I reached a decision.

The little hand basket loaded to overflowing, I wandered over to the cash registers, so loaded up with last minute offerings that one can't see whether a cashier is there until one gets right up on the belt.

I remember when Randall's (before it was Safeway) used to have thirty plus types of mustard. Now, there are five or six.

Not that I don't care for Randall's now - but, how Randall's became Safeway is an excellent example of how American business is so focused on short term profit and not on long term stability and growth.

Back in the distant past, there were four or five grocery chains that dominated the Houston market. Kroger, Randall's and Weingarten's, Safeway, Gerland's and Feista. Feista, I believe was a Spanish market store created by the Weingarten family.

Of those, only Kroger and Safeway were multi-state chains.

Houston has seen and kicked Albertson's to the curb, along with Food Lion and a few others. Weingarten ran for the exits in the 1980s, wisely focusing on their real estate holdings. Gerland's gave up the ghost, although hints of it linger on in the Food Town chain. Fiesta moves from strength to strength. Kroger has been the king of the hill for decades.

Safeway, though, had a very strong market position. In about 1986, Safeway was put "in play" by Robert Haft (who were, at least in the business of running food and drug stores), and the board ran for cover with Kohlberg, Kravis Roberts (KKR) as their savior. This is sort of like leaping into the arms of the cannibal pygmies to save oneself from being eaten by marauding lions. Proving my axiom, KKR required that the company repay the borrowed money by selling off chunks.

Of course, KKR handled the filings and arranged the financing making a blizzard of cash.

The helpful investment house of KKR offered to broker the sale of huge chunks of Safeway, which had been so neatly assembled over fifty years following a strategy set in place by Merrill Lynch. Overseas operations, about half the total was all sold. The Houston operation, including its distribution warehouses and its brand spankin' new dairy factory to the Houston managers.

Who had to borrow the money.

From KKR.

Who made a shitload of money on THAT angle, too.

Enter "Apple Tree Markets".

Apple Tree was actually a TERRIFIC grocery chain, but the debt load was too great to sustain its operations, and pieces of it began to fly off. The dairy plant. Prime locations. The stores started to show their plight.

Finally, Apple Tree stores sold off their pieces to .. Randall's and Fiesta. Mostly to Randall's, which expanded hugely from Apple Tree's failure.

Randall's bought up the Tom Thumb stores in Dallas, along with Apple Tree stores all around the state. And they were large. And they were prosperous-ish.

And they loaded up on debt.

Kroger, being the 800 pound gorilla in the marketplace, only had to burp up a few tenths of a percentage of cash flow to turn a cranky, 1970s Kroger store into a Sak's like emporium, and Randall's had to keep up.

And the money kept flowing in ... (with acknowledgment to Tim Rice). Guess who loaned them the money???? (hint, their initials are KKR)

Well, ten years after taking the company private, the Safeway folks were .. expanding into new markets to replace those 1,000 or so stores that vanished when KKR took the company private.

And, guess how they re-entered Texas? By buying Randall's and paying a blizzard of money for it. That they borrowed. From KKR. But, wait - KKR was the majority owner of Randall's - and had provided Randall's all of the financing - so, how did they .. loan .. uh ..

And now, we have Safeway in Houston again.

And Kroger is still the 800 pound gorilla.

But KKR has made a TON of money! Retail centers have lost tenants, managers and employees have lost jobs, pensions are gone, choices are fewer - but KKR HAS MADE A TON OF MONEY!!!!!!

And, isn't that how it should work? A growing food and drug chain in DC decides to expand their presence, so they start buying stock in a large, publicly traded grocery and drug chain but the board of directors of the large, publicly traded grocery and drug chain want to retain their jobs and their panache, so they bargain with the devil, who requires them to sell off ONE HALF of their enterprise, pay enormous fees and interest, finances the sales of all the ONE HALF of their enterprise to the buyers - making interest and fees, then FIRES ALL THE DAMNED DIRECTORS ANYWAY, and then suggests - hey, you guys - you should be expanding into these markets you're not currently in (because we made you sell the stores you already had there) and SELLS THEM MORE STORES THEY ALREADY OWN.

Seems quite reasonable.

And we wonder why sub-prime mortgages didn't sound so bad.

Berlin calling

2009-09-15T10:40:00.002-05:00

In 1975, I visited Berlin for about a week. I was 15 years old, and yet I was captivated. Berlin has a history going back a thousand years, is the amalgamation of a number of smaller cities and villages, and is now one of the most important and exciting cities in the EU.

And, in 1945, it was blown to smithereens. British bombs, then Russian artillery blew the city into rubble. Every structure of importance was reduced to its foundations. To look at Berlin today, one wouldn't realize that the heritage was reconstructed - it is a blending of new and old, modern and traditional, experimental and trusted.

Last night, I had a delightful surprise through an email from Philip. Just as a reminder, there are only two Philip(s) with one "l", and this one is the awesome one that stayed with me one summer a few years ago.

He, Philip, is engaged in an effort to re-define and revitalize Detroit.

People slag Detroit endlessly and have for decades, but most people have never visited there. A hundred years ago, Detroit was arguably the second most important city in the country - a status it held until the 1960s. The race riots of 1967, spurred by the division of the black neighborhoods by the development of I-75, accelerated "white flight", and the city itself has never recovered.

Detroit presents an incredible and unique opportunity - the re-invention of a major American city. Rather than rely on traditional methods to spur growth and re-settlement, it is an opportunity to think totally out of the box, and marry the advantages of human convergence in a major city with renewable, sustainable environments that reduce city infrastructure needs, support growth through reduced recurring costs, provide a healthful environment for residents and look forward to what comes next, rather than trying to be a better city for 1958.

My mind is a river of ideas for the concept.

Every once in a while

2009-09-14T09:14:00.002-05:00

I feel validated.

It seems that someone in California has obtained the signatures to put a constitutional amendment on the ballot that would outlaw divorce completely.

Now, THAT would be marriage as a sanctity.

On The Town

2009-09-10T23:14:00.004-05:00

Last night, I was delighted to watch the first production of Leonard Bernstein's "On The Town" ever mounted here in Houston. It was very cute, but my not-gay friend who took me kept remarking on how very gay the male cast members were.

And they were. Like "holy CRAP that boy is gay".

Back in "the day" when homo-ness was less acceptable, we (I) had to hide out in plain sight, which required that we be more conforming than is now the standard. In theater arts, one could be a bit more expressive - but, you were in the main NOT going to be so expressive that people would figure it out from twenty paces.

These boys - their gayness could be detected from space.

Not that it's bad, but one of the qualities of live theater in the past was that the dancing/singing/acting boys were just SLIGHTLY more appealing in terms of their finesse, their presentation, their expressions. When their gayness begins to negatively affect the believability of whether they would actually be found dancing with a scantily dressed female - the illusion is shattered and they aren't fitting for the roles they were cast into.

Sailors who chase dames, for instance, should at least give the idea that they'd be INTERESTED in chasing dames. And not to learn where they picked up those fabulous shoes.

The day after 090909

2009-09-10T12:45:00.004-05:00

More teaching tomorrow and Saturday - maybe I'll get some marketing out for myself.

I wasn't quite expecting as much out of Obama's speech as we seem to have gotten. At the same time, the political theater is draining.

Happy anniversary last night, Rachel!

2009-09-09T14:01:00.000-05:00

Spent Labor Day in awesome conversation connecting dots in elements of our national discourse and events. It was great to engage in uniform praise for Matt Taibbi, and to turn the concepts around together with other people who are analytical and well informed.

Consider -

H1N1 (swine) flu historically starts out with a short term spike that is minimally fatal. The flu begins to mutate, and comes back in the late fall/early winter, but then roars – nay, explodes – into a virulent killing machine in the late winter.

It seems quite clear that health reform will not have a public option (perhaps one that is “triggered” but not one starting out) and given that the same players created a TWO YEAR opportunity for credit card issuers to knock interest rates out of the park before new rules took effect, we can expect that any health reform (which should be in place before the H1N1 flu comes back for its class reunion around Thanksgiving) will have given the health insurance companies ample opportunity to reduce, reuse and recycle existing policy holders by jacking up premiums, co-pays, reducing benefits and basically making it very challenging for people to maintain their current health coverage.

While not widely reported, a very well researched and thorough writer has commented that a great number of his personal contacts are anonymously suggesting that we are about to experience major employers greatly reducing health benefits, increasing co-pays, increasing employee contributions especially for spousal or dependent coverage. This is expected to begin taking effect when enrollment periods open, which is traditionally late in the calendar year.

While not widely understood, current health insurance policies do NOT pay for emergency services, such as an emergency room visit with an onset of, say, sudden, chronic flu symptoms. Recently, a close friend had a visit to the ER after a diabetic episode at work and found that his employer paid health insurance pays only TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS of ER visits that are not (get this) approved IN ADVANCE.

Um, sure. “Hello? HMO? I'm thinking I'll have the flu on Thursday and may need to go to the ER – maybe Thursday night or Friday?”

In the 2000 presidential election, Ralph Nader was directly and aggressively challenged for his threat of Al Gore's effort to attain the White House. He acknowledged that, indeed, his intent was to block Al Gore from becoming president, saying (paraphrased) that our country had not yet suffered enough havoc of the policies of the previous 30 years to make lasting, real change.

I believe that he was right.

I believe also that a perfect storm may be brewing of greatly reduced health benefits, greatly increased health premium costs, greatly increased out of pocket payments for ER visits, co-pays and emergency treatment and the return of the H1N1 flu.

That change Ralph Nader has long thought needed may be nearly upon us.

Lather, rinse, repeat

2009-09-07T17:52:00.001-05:00

Program Director: Take 2, cue Howard.

Beale: I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's worth; banks are going bust; shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter; punks are running wild in the street, and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it.

We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat. And we sit watching our TVs while some local newscaster tells us that today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes, as if that's the way it's supposed to be!

We all know things are bad -- worse than bad -- they're crazy.

It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don't go out any more. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we're living in is getting smaller, and all we say is, "Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials, and I won't say anything. Just leave us alone."

Well, I'm not going to leave you alone.

I want you to get mad!

I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot. I don't want you to write to your Congressman, because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street.

All I know is that first, you've got to get mad.

You've gotta say, "I'm a human being, goddammit! My life has value!"

So, I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window, open it, and stick your head out and yell,

"I'm as mad as hell,

and I'm not going to take this anymore!!"

why is this even a question?

2009-09-02T10:34:00.001-05:00

No one should die because they cannot afford health care, and no one should go broke because they get sick.

Dear President Obama,

I understand you’re thinking of dumping your “public option” because of all the demagoguery by Sarah Palin and Dick Armey and Newt Gingrich and their crowd on right-wing radio and Fox. Fine. Good idea, in fact.

Instead, let’s make it simple. Please let us buy into Medicare.

It would be so easy. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel with this so-called “public option” that’s a whole new program from the ground up. Medicare already exists. It works. Some people will like it, others won’t – just like the Post Office versus FedEx analogy you’re so comfortable with.

Just pass a simple bill – it could probably be just a few lines, like when Medicare was expanded to include disabled people – that says that any American citizen can buy into the program at a rate to be set by the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) and the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) which reflects the actual cost for us to buy into it.

So it’s revenue neutral!

To make it available to people of low income, raise the rates slightly for all currently non-eligible people (like me - under 65) to cover the cost of below-200%-of-poverty people. Revenue neutral again.

Most of us will do damn near anything to get out from under the thumbs of the multi-millionaire CEOs who are running our current insurance programs. Sign me up!

This lets you blow up all the rumors about death panels and grandma and everything else: everybody knows what Medicare is. Those who scorn it can go with Blue Cross. Those who like it can buy into it. Simplicity itself.

Of course, we’d like a few fixes, like letting Medicare negotiate drug prices and filling some of the holes Republicans and AARP and the big insurance lobbyists have drilled into Medicare so people have to buy “supplemental” insurance, but that can wait for the second round. Let’s get this done first.

Simple stuff. Medicare for anybody who wants it. Private health insurance for those who don’t. Easy message. Even Max Baucus and Chuck Grassley can understand it. Sarah Palin can buy into it, or ignore it. No death panels, no granny plugs, nothing. Just a few sentences.

Replace the “you must be disabled or 65” with “here’s what it’ll cost if you want to buy in, and here’s the sliding scale of subsidies we’ll give you if you’re poor, paid for by everybody else who’s buying in.” (You could roll back the Reagan tax cuts and make it all free, but that’s another rant.)

We elected you because we expected you to have the courage of your convictions. Here’s how. Not the “single payer Medicare for all” that many of us would prefer, but a simple, “Medicare for anybody who wants to buy in.”

Respectfully,

DrDivo

August's last day for 2009

2009-08-31T14:00:00.005-05:00

If one believes in the "Mayan" predictions, we have approximately three years, three months and three weeks before our plane of existence comes to a complete halt.

Personally, I don't find much strength in that line of reasoning.

I was driving by Momentum Audi today; they have a bright red A6 out front that isn't in their online inventory. Do I care enough to call 'em and ask about it? To point out that keeping their online information current is very important?

No.

Over the weekend, a friend had a call (he's a fire fighter) to an auto accident - a four year old dead, a six year old lost both of her feet - both of these before anyone was transported to the hospital. The cause? An unlicensed 15 year old who was texting.

Yikes. This morning, I carried my phone to the office in the trunk of the car. I need to leave it back there every time. EVERY time.

Mr. Z gave me one of Cafe del Mar's CDs to listen to - it's AMAZING. I have been playing it in the car, and it's just splendid.

I'm curious about time's passing. It's a very interesting dynamic.

I'm also curious about how resistant people are to change.

Things that make up a Friday morning -

2009-08-14T09:44:00.003-05:00

Recently, I re-connected with my best friend from law school - thanks to Facebook. It has been incredibly rewarding to be back in touch with him. This morning, he and I were chatting away on Instant Messenger and he said this:

My favorite Doug utterance ever was this:

We were at someone's house, someone we didn't know, and they had two hyper barking jumping little white dogs. You were reading something, and I asked you what kind of dogs they were. Without looking up or moving, you answered, "White". I don't know why, but it's the best ever.

I just laughed so hard and so long I coughed up a lung.

In my email this morning was this:

Dear First Prize Winner,

Congratulations! You have been selected to receive a prize in the Lexus HS Contest, administered by ePrize.

You have been selected as the winner of a the use of a Lexus HS for one (1) week and a Lexus Hybrid Living gift bag containing Sponsor selected Lexus branded products! Please see the attached Official Rules for further prize details and eligibility requirements.

I suppose it could have been even MORE of a great start to a Friday morning if I had received a note that someone had just given me my S8 free and clear, but this wasn't bad at all. I am psyched about it!

I notice this morning that the board of VW has voted to merge with Porsche.

For those that haven't been following, here's how this went -

Adolf Hitler and the NSDAP were elected to a plurality of seats in the German Reichstag in March, 1933.

They created a government with the Social Democrats.

They put all the Social Democrats in jail.

They eliminated all civil rights, unions, communists, jews, slavs, gypsies and youth organizations.

In replacing the unions with a single, national "union" that everyone had to belong to, they created the first rewards program wherein workers had deductions taken from their paychecks so that they could participate in vacations, cruises and such. This program was called "Kraft durch Freude" (or, Work through Joy).

To further give the non-unionized laborers incentive to labor endlessly without overtime, the right to strike or bargain or change jobs, the government announced that a brand new car would be sold on a weekly subscription basis - the "Kraft durch Freude" car - KDF, popularly known as the People's car (Volks wagen).

The car was designed by Prof. Dr. Ing. H. C. Ferdinand Porsche, who, like Hitler, was an Austrian, but had a bunch of training and skill other than bombastic oratory and making people hate each other. Prof. Dr. Porsche had this notion that designing a car with a flat, air cooled engine in the back driving the back wheels was the best idea since Austria became the center of the Holy Roman Empire, and later created a slightly more exciting car on the same basic design called the Porsche 911.

Said workers had another involuntary payroll deduction, and ground was broken for a massive factory near Wolfsburg, which had hitherto served no particular purpose in the German economy, but benefited someone who sold the land. This would become the massive Volkswagenwerk.

Gazillions of Marks were collected from paychecks, and not a single car was produced or delivered to those who had their money withheld. Sort of like a Tucker Torpedo, but without the cool movie starring Jeff Bridges.

Hitler got too frisky in his efforts to seize assets without paying for it, and eventually the Brits and the 'Murricans blew everything in Germany to bits with high explosives. In order to avoid this outcome, Prof. Dr. Porsche and his family designed tanks instead of air cooled cars with the engines hanging off'n their butts. They found it a little more convenient to avoid hot death dropping from the skies and moved their little operation to far Eastern Austria.

The 'Murricans thought that they could gain a leg up on 500 years of European colonial domination by rebuilding Europe, and so threw more money at Germany than they had previously thrown high explosives. Thinking that they had some say in the matter, the French, the Brits and the Russians took possession of different parts of Germany, and the Porsche family was involuntarily split into two geographic groups - northern and south-eastern.

Prof. Dr. Porsche and his family gently took control of the Volkswagenwerk, the plans for the KDF car, and the factory with the kind assistance of the government of Lower Saxony. Since they already had the plans for a real car thing, they started building them. This was the Northern part of the family.

Because the tank building part of the family had this nifty factory over in the southeastern part, and because they couldn't run back home to Wolfsburg and surrounds, they created a new company to continue to build Porsche automobiles.

Prof. Dr. Porsche died.

His family, in the grand tradition of the Hiltons, the Vanderbilts and others, fought over the spoils.

Each car company was mostly controlled by descendants of the guy who thought that hanging an engine off of the back of an axle was a great design.

People get confused, thinking that two different sets of folks control these companies - mostly because the Peich line controls the VW company. Peich is a grandson of the aforementioned Prof. Dr. Porsche. Porsche AG has been mostly controlled by Ferry Porsche, who was the son of Prof. Dr. Porsche. Peich is his nephew, the son of his sister.

Since Ferry died, the grandsons (Peich and Ferry the third) have been playing an endless game of "who's got the bigger dick", in which Ferry three attempted to swallow the world's third largest automaker whole with the backing of certain Gulf state oil investors.

Then, the whole economy of the world fainted, and Ferry three couldn't pay the bills on his efforts to "fress" (German for eat, but in the sense that an animal eats) Fow-Vay (German, for VW).

VW now is buying Porsche SE.

So, doesn't this mean that two cousins have blown through over $12,000,000,000 against shareholder interests, the interests of the workers, the franchisees, the ability to design new product, expand into new markets, reduce the costs of their products - just to see who had the bigger weenie?

Someone should take 'em both out back and give them the whacking that they should have each gotten back in the 1950s.

what if the car you bought with cash for clunkers was..

2009-08-04T16:09:00.004-05:00

itself a clunker?

What if you traded in your clunker qualifier at a local Chevy dealer, and your new purchase was delivered to you with a non-functioning fuel gauge, AND the check engine light on?

And then, what if your friendly local Chevy dealer who had sold you the car only three days before told you that they'd take it in for repair, but NOT give you a loaner car or provide you with transportation in violation of the GM warranty?

Does that mean that you're still driving a clunker?

A new take on "green" living

2009-07-28T13:21:00.003-05:00

More and more of late, I have been overcome by the waste in our society. I don't mean just that we buy dwellings and cars that are much larger than what we really need. I don't mean just that we suck up power that we don't need to use. I don't mean just that we wrest minerals from within the earth and then leave an enormous, toxic mess behind. I don't mean just the investment into transporting cheaply manufactured goods across oceans in huge ships that contribute far more particulate and toxic emissions into the air than do all of the cars in this country.

It's all of it.

Recently, a woman from Baltimore was on Oprah talking about how she had reduced her electric bill by 77% through unplugging things that pull an electrical load even when they're not being used. Whether you believe her actual performance or not, these two articles describe how it works and allow one to calculate how much could be saved.

So, what would motivate you to unplug a bunch of stuff? I've started unplugging nearly everything but for the alarm clock, the microwave (because it's impossible to get to) and the TV when I leave the apartment.

If you believe that global warming is bunkum, you won't be motivated to do this. If you hold a negative view toward trying to save money, or use less - you won't be motivated to do this.

What if Jesus said it was a good idea?

In Mark Chapter 12, Jesus was asked which was the most important of the Commandments. Most who are Christian or who have read the bible (note that I don't consider the two groups to be identical) are familiar with the story.

Here was the exchange:

29 And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord:

30 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

31 And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

Let's break this down for a moment -

The most important commandment is that there is one God, and you should focus on God. In my faith, we say "God is all there is", but in any faith - Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist .. we can all agree that the most important thing is that God is the most important thing.

What follows, though - "love thy neighbor as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these".

Virtually every spiritual faith that has wide adherence contains this admonishment. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. What goes around comes around. As you do, so shall you receive.

We humans find this to be an aspiration, but we do not live as if it were the second most important spiritual rule. We instead ignore God's admonition that judgment belongs only to God, and try to use the other commandments as weapons to justify our wrath.

What of the commandment "thou shalt not kill" from the perspective of the second most important commandment? One could reflect that being killed would be pretty bad, so since I don't want that done unto me, I should refrain from doing it to others.

Let's take "thou shalt not steal". Hasn't everyone come to realize that someone, maybe someone we thought of as a trusted person, has stolen from us? How does that feel? It feels rotten! So, when we see something tantalizing - how do YOU want to feel? You want to feel the way that the owner of that trinket will feel when they discover that you've taken it?

Well, then either mate it back with its owner or leave it alone.

Taken into a broader environment - no pun intended - what are you saying to your neighbor when you throw something out your car window instead of disposing of it in a waste container? How would you feel if someone tossed some trash in your yard? Or let their animal relieve itself on your sidewalk?

What's the difference?

What are we saying to our neighbors when we create an earthen pond containing three million gallons of toxic coal slurry to avoid dealing with the refuse from coal mining, and then it soils and nearly permanently destroys hundreds of acres, and displacing dozens of families and businesses?

What are we saying to our neighbors when we run our supertanker into a shoal, spilling several million gallons of crude oil onto public beaches, destroying wild life habitats and the living for local fishermen and then fight cleaning up after ourselves by spending more money than the clean up would have cost?

What are we saying to our neighbors not yet born when we overfish or pollute the waters such that there is no more food source? Or when we create a drug, or a beverage, or a processed food that is neglectfully or intentionally harmful and then do our best to avoid responsibility?

What if we conducted ourselves thinking about how WE would feel if we personally had to deal with the aftermath, the mess, the cleanup, the financial burden and then acted to minimize or eliminate any effect that our neighbor will be left with?

If we conducted ourselves that way, would we be honoring God and his creations more fully? Would we actually be living our lives following the teachings of Jesus?

Why, yes we would.

Could one then extrapolate a sound conclusion that littering, using more than you actually need, acting in a manner ignorant of how others are left responsible or diminished, or actively trying to avoid responsibility are against Jesus's primary teachings?

You tell me. I have my opinion on the matter already.